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@@coops it is so hard when your work life fills you with dread. Many tough times in my life, work was my refuge from the storm of other tragedies in life. Is the problem the people there? Is there anything you can shift in your internal views or thoughts that can make this bearable.

I highly recommend a puppy:) Ok, I am kidding, my new puppy is a maniac, so much work! She fills me with joy tho. My other dog Suzy has gained weight and her coat is better now that she has a pup to play with. Suzy was depressed and lonely after the big dog died last year. She is so much less needy, more active, etc. They both bring me smiles and joy and kisses all day long. Everyone that meets them now love my dogs and it's largely because Bella is a bundle of joy. My vet adores her - he gave her shots on Wednesday and she kissed him right after. He said he just loves her rough and tumble, outgoing personality. She is no scardey pup!

Bella caught a mouse out in the large yard last weekend! She is a tough little girl. Wednesday of next week she will be fully protected from parvo so I can take her everywhere (I have been protecting her from dog areas due to parvo risk) and I need to keep her socialized so she doesn't become one of those bossy terriers!

Anyway, I guess I am pretty happy gettin so many hugs and kisses from both man and beasts these days! I have a strong desire for physical affection, and everything in life feels better when I get it.

Coops, hope you can get some hugs and feel better! Puppy breath is good too. :)

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Kim was the motorcycle triggering anxiety? They sure do in me!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

Yep. I am so proud of myself that I got over the "hump" and learned to ride, even my no compliment husband says I am a good rider. It has been a kick in the ass for me. I do think most of the anxiety is the bike. I don't LOVE it enough to make up for the injury downside. It also doesnt go well with my other activities.... except adventure and hanging with the hubby... which are also important to me. I still don't want to sell the bike, or think of never getting on it again, but really... I need to draw a harder line about that. I support Craig in going after his dreams, even if they are not with me... but I am making lists of things we might do together that are fun and adventurous.... I don't want to stop having fun and adventure!. He has a lady friend I like very much, a motorcycle nut to the end... who he is tentatively planning on traveling with on a couple of trips....he is even talking about her using "my" bike. She doesn't want to do it unless its ok with me....and they both have said they are not interested in each other "that way". I know I run the chance of losing him in such a situation, but think these trips are better and safer in a pair of riders. (Alaska to South America...and perhaps beyond) I would have to rent the house and move into the studio, so we have some income to support such a trip. I hate to move, even just into the back yard :P , but would be willing to do it with the idea that I would also have the option of taking off and traveling at some point... I won't make enough with Social Security to pay my bills, so have to have a second income of some kind.... I might set up a studio someplace along their way, and have a visit for a while on their trip or something like that... or just go out with my car and see America. This is all stressful, but so goes Adventure! I lived in India by myself several times, and know I can do it.

I have found that when you Adventure travel it changes you. If you don't keep in contact with loved ones... and fill them in on your activities, and they do the same for you... you meet up later and have little in common. I don't want this to happen with Craig. On the other hand, he is a self centered wild man, which is part of his charm...and part of the deal is to let him go and be who he is.... We both are attracted to adventuresome people, we met in India, both on adventures, and it is our stated goal as a couple.

We have our tickets to go to London in June, then pick up his mom and sis at the airport, pick up a car and do a 3 week road trip through Scotland. We will visit the Isle of Mull, where he has relatives and can access the families historical property. That should be a blast. I just had to scratch up the money to make it happen. Its the first trip out of the country in years.... right before my surgery I went to New Zealand for a few weeks. 5 Years! I had to take care of my little dog in her senior years, and really could not in good conscious leave her here with a sitter at that time. She was my girl through thick and thin. And my moms final days...But now, I am free to make some moves again. I have tentatively gotten back on the wagon, have lost 5 pounds. Truth time. I was up to 210. (ouch!!!) It was easy as pie to do so.... and even with several weight loss starts, I just couldn't do it. Up Up Up. I am going to try to lose 10 by Scotland... and make the slow crawl down the scale again. I did it twice, I can do it again. I used the 5 day pouch test, am on the 6th day now, and the carb cravings are way down. I am going to go back into the 5:2 now... and watch myself closely. I have one co worker who has shadowed my many weight loss trips... When I lost the weight with surgery the first time, she started walking to lose weight. For her, eating everything she wants and not saying no was what she wanted. She gets up at 1:30 in the morning and walks for 5 hours 6 days a week. Goes to bed at 7:30 at night. She loves it. Personally, I would rather be fat! But it works for her so far. She lost 130 pounds doing it. (she did diet at first to lose the weight and the walking is more her maintenance) Her body is a mess, and I hate to think what will happen to her if she loses her ability to walk. She can't even stand still, and walks in place at meetings, during breaks and class.... I am continuing to do dance twice a week, and walk twice a week, but my knee is worse and worse... I am wearing a brace... which helps a bit. Getting old sucks! Anyway, thats where I am. Getting along with Craig pretty well, work has its ups and downs... if I had the money I would probably quit.... but its not horrible by any means. Looking forward to Scotland... Family doing well. All the flowers are blooming in the yard.

Always nice to hear from you all. Coop, hope you work out your situation soon... hugs to you.... Sheryl, A new man... a new NICE man.... how exciting! Enjoy! Georgia, you are a touch stone for me... inspiration! Cathy always a rock. I will be so close to you guys, if I was on my own I would drop by for sure! That would be a blast to meet you guys in person! Denise, chin up.... I know about eating like a bird... I have lost this first 5 pounds eating between 450-800 cals a day. That is CRAY CRAY! I will be upping it starting today, but have to really watch the carbs and such. fingers crossed and thank MFP every morning. You would think you could eat anything you want and stay at 210.... but NOOOO. :angry::o:blink::wacko::P:D

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I am so content and happy -sun is shining, life is good - I am willing to try 5:2 again. It made me anxious at times, so I will quit if that happens but let's try it! Anybody up for 5:2 check ins?

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Kim, I read your post twice. Here is what I think...successful relationships are in the eye of the beholder. Risk of losing Craig seems high if he CAN'T follow his passion. How can you stay connected while he is riding to the ends of the earth? He'll, I couldn't stay connected to my ex and he was my couch!

I don't follow the $$$ talk. Does Craig have a source of income? Would he consider funding you to do some travel too? Could your paths cross?

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I am so content and happy -sun is shining, life is good - I am willing to try 5:2 again. It made me anxious at times, so I will quit if that happens but let's try it! Anybody up for 5:2 check ins?

Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

I'm up for it, mondays?

Kim, I read your post twice. Here is what I think...successful relationships are in the eye of the beholder. Risk of losing Craig seems high if he CAN'T follow his passion. How can you stay connected while he is riding to the ends of the earth? He'll, I couldn't stay connected to my ex and he was my couch!

I don't follow the $$$ talk. Does Craig have a source of income? Would he consider funding you to do some travel too? Could your paths cross?

Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

And it was a LOOOOOONG one too! It is complicated for sure. We have spent up to a year apart and kept the connection in the past... He takes off for NZ once or twice a year for a month or more. I have taken off through the years, but not as much as him... I am looking forward and planning for my own adventure time with or without him depending on the circumstances. At this time he has more money than I, and he is a cheapskate... but he has in the past paid for one or two of my adventures, after I had supported him in some activity. For instance, he has paid for my bike and done all the repairs on his dime... I do think it is a risk, but really, I want him to be happy, and I want me to be happy also... We have been through a lot of crazy adventures together, only a couple of points did it involve motorcycles... I asked him the other day what his top of the desire list was (I already knew...) and it the around the world motorcycle trip. If he waits much longer, he may be too old to do it. I gave it a try to see if I was able to join on a bike, at least for part of it, and I'm just not suited. So thats it. If we rent the house and I live in the studio, I will be getting half the monetary benefit from that... and will use it to travel most likely. If we can come up with a plan, it will be with Craig. This trip to Scotland is killing my savings... I need to make some more money to do what I want.... The moving into the studio will cost money too... needs a bathroom, separate meter, hot water.... and we have to do the work to move a bunch of stuff somewhere to make room to iive in a smaller place. He would just as soon get rid of everything and hit the road. I like having a home base, however small. We are at 20 years of marriage, and 3 before that.... it has had its ups and downs, but seems better than ever now. Craigs name: Craig means "Rocky Outcropping" and the Maclaines motto is "Conquer or Die" My name Kim means "Noble or brave" and my last name Scotts family moto is "Love". Which fits us pretty well.... and makes for some spectacular fights and passion.

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I will join in Monday, have been away for 2 weeks now and just want to get home. We have ate and drank badly these past 2 weeks and I am dreading the scale. A fast day would be good for my body.

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I had my spine x rayed and my fusion is taking. I was really afraid to do 5:2 because it was against doctor's orders.

I want to try it again too. I can't start until I get home though. I'm in Portland waiting for my grand daughter to come. I wish she would hurry up. My life is on hold right now.

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Denise, follow docs orders! Maybe a modified 5:2 - no wine or sweets 5 days a week? Honestly I would probably lose weight if I did that!

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Ok, fast going fine so far. Drinking lots of liquids. planning nice dinner. Down 3 pounds from last monday. Cheers all!

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Caught up on all the "drama" and "life" just now from our gang. Love having you all as a source and friendship. I just got back last night from 10 days away. 3 on way to Vacation at the beach, stopped in NOLA to see son and family then on to Panama City Beach, Florida for a week. Turned out to be good weather, no rain and just warm enough to be able to sit out and enjoy the sand by noon or so.

I started out thinking I'll stick to my routine I've been following since January and then. Decided just to enjoy myself. Didn't go crazy and couldn't eat nearly like I had in past. Just a few frills here and there like pumpkin bread from Starbucks ( my absolute favorite) an ice cream cone or two and some higher carb lunches. Haven't weighed yet but I did some serious walking too so don't feel I've gained much and will join in to the 5:2 crew. Just not Monday for me. I do better when I'm work so it will be Tues and Thurs most weeks.

Kim, I agree about adventure. I've realized that it's now or never for me. Hubs would be content I think to sit on porch and read FB and watch CNN. I'm not there and hope to not be for several years. He is 5 yrs older than me and not in great health so I kinda understand but....

I'd say position yourself to live life now.

Coops, it sounds like you've had a real struggle. I'm hoping health wise you have recovered and that you can find a school that will bring some fulfillment at least.

Wonder how Sarah is? Haven't heard from her in a while. And others too.

Well, back to the salt mines tomorrow. I really would be independently wealthy so I could quit work. ????

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I forgot to weigh this morning. I did good on eating...

My horse back riding jeans give me a little muffin top, motivation!

Woohoo Kim, great results!

Georgia that sounds like a great trip.

I am suffering from tree pollen allergies...feeling a little cruddy.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

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As predicted scale was up for weigh in yesterday but I had a good day eating wise, not quite a full fast day but certainly down on what I have been eating. I need to get rid of the carb craving and I suppose that will take a few days.

Kim your post was amazing so heartfelt and honest. I really like that you took notice of Craig's dream to bike round the world and took practical steps to see if you could be part of that. It's sad that it looks like you won't. I have no advice as to whether he should go off on adventures with his biker friend but you know him and have been with him for so many years and so only you really know if your relationship would survive this. Envious of your trip to Mull as it is supposed to be one of the most beautiful places in UK. Pity you couldn't make any pit stops, coops and I are only about 1 hour away from each other and I'm sure we would have made an effort to come and meet up.

Denise so glad to hear that the fusion is working, you must be so relieved. Please do keep on following the doctors instructions.

Georgia is hard getting back from holiday isn't it and going back to work even harder.

Coops hope work isn't too bad this week and that something suitable comes up on job front.

Week in Scotland was lovely and lazy but last week with mum was more frantic. I supervised the renovation of a wc and bathroom, sorted decorated and got a new carpet in a bedroom and had a quick tidy up of front and back gardens. I have now come home for a rest. Mum herself was in good form and it was nice to have the time to spend with her. Like Coops work starts again this week but I have been selfish and taken unpaid leave for a week so I can have some down time. This week at work we have our new students for September coming in for a trial. Usually there are so many staff around that we fight for jobs and the time goes so slow so I thought 'sod it' I'll have the week off.

Love to everyone x

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Did a good fast yesterday... not brill today, but could of been worse. I will reign it in tomo and fast again Thurs.

I am getting a bit concerned cos when I eat I get a tender feeling in my middle, around my tummy... perhaps I am over filling my sleeve? Anyone else get this? I also seem to be getting heartburn/acid too... I have been taking some Rennies if it gets too bad. I think I gotta really start looking more at the quality of my food? (not that it is rubbish, but you know what I mean)

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coops, that is a little concerning. I don't know what rennies means, but I would do a 2-3 week course of good PPI and see if that fixes you up. If it doesn't get better... get thee self to a medical professional who has a clue about the sleeve.

I weighed today.... only 1# over goal, not bad since I have been on a 3 week eating bender and feel like I weigh much heavier. Yesterday was a good fasting day, today a reasonable eating day....

I feel a bit discouraged about some work things...but all in all, doing good!

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Okay, one fast day down. Ended up at about 600 which I will take since the food choices were good. And, glory be, I was only up a pound from my 11 day trip! Made me see and belief that the weight I lost during first three months of year are REALLY lost! Just need to lose another 7-8 to be where I want. My daughter and oldest grands (who are all thin) constantly tell me not to lose more-that I'll be a bag of wrinkles which is somewhat true. Ha!!! Kinda discouraging at six years out. I always had very firm upper legs (best feature was legs ) and after weight loss and added years I have flabby "cottage cheesy" upper legs. Sigh. Wish I'd had the ability to do this ten years earlier and might have had a chance to keep firmer but, it is what it is. And no, I do not exercise adequately. Ha!!!

I am back down easily into my size 10 and some size 8 skirts and med/large tops. If I can just keep it all in perspective. I definitely feel much better MENTALLY as well as physically when I am in control of food choices.

Cathy, you def need a vacay from your vacay.

Coops, I had a bit of that too. I used Omeprazole when I really had burning sensation. Cleared up once I started controlling diet better but I have some sporadic episodes. Had one last week after too heavy a meal and used some Heavy duty Tums to cut the acid.

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