gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[Chimera 644]

Morning everyone - 6 weeks today since my last post - 6 weeks to the day on my TKR surgery. I have a pretty decent pain tolerance, but this ride has been excrutiating, and makes my VSG with complications feel like a stroll among the daisies.

The first two weeks passed in a blur of agony and extremely limited mobility - doing much better now, drove for the first time last Friday to pay a visit to a new doctor, visiting my old doc is just too far a drive since our move south. Working hard on getting better every day.

If anyone ever needs joint replacement I found a good forum called Bonesmart.org - lots of folks from the UK, sounds like the procedures post surgery are a bit different than the US - good reading!

My weight is up right now - I've have been pretty much immobile for the last month and a half, but I don't really care right now I will focus on that later. As always sorry to be such a stranger and wishing everyone a happy Monday

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Glad to hear from you guys!

Kelly.... I hear the healing takes a year.... hope the best for you!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

@@Chimera so glad to hear from you. I know knee replacement is difficult but will be worth it! I will check out that forum.... doc says I have 3-4 years tilll I need hip replacement. I am doing PT and improving alot!

I am right at goal...and really need to get UNDER and have a bounce range. I am being nice to myself given my various current issues! Glad you are able to be gentle on yourself too.

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

I am so glad everyone checked in. It's really good to hear from everyone.

Kim I think you are so brave to ride a motorcycle all by yourself. I would never attempt that in a million years.

Kelly, be good to yourself. You're going through a lot. Just recuperate.

My left arm has really been hurting. I am going to have a stress test next week. I sure hope it is not heart related.

Sheryl, Where did you meet Steve? I hadn't heard you started dating someone again.

I am completely disgusted with the dating prospects here. I'm afraid I'll be alone forever.

Now we need Florinda to let us know she is okay. I am having terrible acid problems too. So many people are revising to RNY because of acid and I don't ever want to do that. I have to get this under control. I've heard drinking apple cider vinegar helps but I can't bring myself to drink it.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Now we need Florinda to let us know she is okay. I am having terrible acid problems too. So many people are revising to RNY because of acid and I don't ever want to do that. I have to get this under control. I've heard drinking apple cider vinegar helps but I can't bring myself to drink it.

Mix it with water.... you can even make a drink from it... use some extracts, over the rocks... a splash of juice.... you can eveLook up Shrub.

A shrub can also refer to a cocktail or soft drink that was popular during America's colonial era, made by mixing a vinegared Syrup with spirits, Water, or carbonated water.^[1][4][5] The term "shrub" can also be applied to the sweetened vinegar-based syrup, from which the cocktail is made; the syrup is also known as drinking vinegar.^[3][6][7] Drinking vinegar is often infused with fruit juice, herbs and spices for use in mixed drinks.^[6][8][9]

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

@@Oregondaisy are your acid problems New? I read they peaked at the 3-6year post op. Also read that it might be associated with a smaller sleeve. I have a bigger sleeve (in theory) as my bougie size is 38. 4 years post op and fingers crossed i dodge that bullet.

I met Steve on ZOOSK which is a crappy website. I don't recommend it. I essentially opened my criteria more broadly in terms of distance and parent of minor children. He is pretty wonderful (my age, fit, smart,, funny, employed, no addiction) but once again not really ready for true long term. Ironically, my healthy social network made him realize he jumped too fast into seeking a relationship over building a post divorce "life". I don't see a future here but having a ball, so sticking it out. We do eclectic fun active things - just my type. He makes me feel great and I guess that is enough for now. After all, have lopsided boobs, due for more surgery end of January and a few other temporary setbacks. He seems pleased with things, I am pleased, so just not worrying about tomorrow. We are only 6 weeks or so I to this.

I went to a highly rated crossfit gym for a free trial. Intro session was great. The instructor is a naturopath and did an awesome job of accommodating my joint problems.

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

Well that is excellent that you're having fun and enjoying his company. That's the important thing. He treats you well and makes you feel great, so you can't ask for more. I've given up thinking I can find a forever relationship. If I could find someone to have fun with, I'd be thrilled. There isn't anyone on any of the sites that I'm interested in, except for the ones in Eugene or Portland, either 2 or 4 hours away.

I've been trying to be really careful and not gain any more weight, but I can't seem to lose 1 lb. I'm thinking I should just get rid of the clothes that don't fit me and make me feel bad about myself. We will have to see what happens when I get back to the gym. I could join now, but I'm going to wait til after Christmas.

My acid problems are new. I've been on Protonix since surgery and it wasn't helping me. The doctor put me on Nexium which she said was stronger. It seems to be helping. I hope it does not get any worse because I will never revise to RNY.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Got on the scale yesterday . Time to get real. Gained 5 pounds. I immediately jumped back onto 5:2, lost 2.5 pounds... back on 1260 cals on regular days. Write it all down everyday. MUST keep this up. Sobering.

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

Yes, it's depressing that if we aren't vigilant every single day, 5 lbs can turn up rather quickly, and turn into 10 just as fast.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

For my 4 year sleeve-a-versary I decided to do the BOD pod which measures body composition and the metabolic test that measures baseline calories or RmR they call it.

The woman administering it wasn't an expert, but she is a body builder so has her own personal experience.... she told me that while I am in the "moderately lean" catagory I am actually not bad for my age at 29% fat percentage. She felt that I could pretty quickly move to the "lean" category by upping my Protein and refocusing on strength training. I am not sure 22% bodyfat is a reasonable goal for me given my long history of obesity, but perhaps back to something in the mid 20s.

It is nice to have a goal that isn't related to the scale. I am right at goal - 158 this morning - which I feel good about given that it is the "eating season", but I am not happy with my current fitness.

I have been hitting the physical therapy HARD and it is making a difference. My hip is so much better... although will always me an issue.

I tried to join a gym, after careful careful research of a place that is knowledgable and can modify for my issues, and it is so annoying. They ONLY accept payment on their website which is not a secure one. I am not super techie, but techie enough to call bogus on it. Anyway, I have offered to pay via paypal since they won't take cash, checks or card payment via secure method. No wonder that place was empty when I went for my free trial day.... since they are completely unwilling to do anything other than me putting my banking or card info into an unsecure site... unreal.

Anyway, looks like I am firing up the home gym. That is okay since my remodel I actually have a good place to do it!

[UK Cathy 977]

So is all the work on the house finished now and are you happy with it?

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

"All" is a strong word. I need to repaint the trim, touch up some of the wall paint and I decided to defer the new counters until 2016 as I was LOSING MY MIND with all these strange men in my house all the time. I am over the trauma, so should be able to face it again soon. I need to finish the painting though.... I am getting too used to it and find myself ignoring it.

Even so, it is awesome. The wall removal opened up the floor plan and makes the house so much more clean and modern. The dreadful popcorn ceilings are replaced by a modern looking ceiling. The laminate (fake wood) floor fits the country setting so nice and so much easier to clean than well worn off white carpet. I splurged on a shag rug - in an almost white color - in the seating area around the TV. IT is so deep and comfy... you want to roll in it. I can now actually use my pantry as you can actually see reach in to the whole space and the shelves are much more practical. It's the little things...

Even though I didn't remodel the bedroom, somehow it has inspired me to rearrange and it is so much more comfortable as I now have room for my ridiculously large shoe/boot collection.

I gutted my office, at the last minute I decided to have him replace the carpet in there too. I wish I had them do the ceilings, it wouldn't have cost much extra but I was trying to control scope of the project... Now, since I am not using it as the junk room, I am no longer embarrased to have it open to the rest of the house. IT has big french doors and I keep them open now. That is my workout room as well as office.

I am really happy with it!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Wow, ate lightly yesterday but had some crabcakes pretty late in the evening... gained 4# overnight! Guess they were salty, huh? I have also started up spinning bike again and some moderate strength training. Causes muscles to hang on to water...I am not too worried about it though.... just keeping doing what I do...

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

I've been afraid to get on the scale. I am anxious to get back into my old routine although it's kind of scary that I'll be able to stay motived to go to the gym often. Weight training made a huge difference in my figure. I want that back.

I've been spending a lot of time with my friend John. We have the strangest relationship. We watch movies and stuff on Netflix and he cuddles up to me. He calls me baby or babe or honey. We spend almost every evening together.

Saturday night he spent the night because we stayed up really late watching a series on Netflix and kept saying "let's just watch one more" He slept in bed with me, in my king sized bed.I didn't want to ask him to sleep in the guest room with him being 6'2". The bed would have been too small for him. I thought maybe he wanted out of the friend zone the way he's been acting so cuddly. He went right to sleep.< /p>

We don't kiss and aren't intimate but at times he sure acts like he is my bf not my friend. I'm not interested in anyone else so I am just taking things as they come. He's 13 years younger than me. The whole thing is strange to me but I do enjoy his company.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Hosted the big family shinding in my newly updated house. It went really well, had a great time and everybody loved the new look.

I weigh, if not daily, then 3-4 times a week. I did that even when I was gaining (I got to 10# over goal at one point). The reason I do that is that it was my old pattern to only weigh myself when I felt "good" and to put my head in the sand when I didn't. I don't know if this works for everyone, but even while I watched the scale go up, I stayed calm, didn't beat myself up... just was a little gentler with myself - you know, the way you might treat someone you care about. I am back down to goal, and while I wish i was UNDER goal, I am giving myself huge kudos for one more "eating season" at goal.

Denise, I don't know what to make of John. I think that in middle age/later in life relationships are perhaps defined differently. Everybody says that isn't true "no, it is just like romantic love from your 20s" - well, that hasn't been my experience. I don't find men that seek that and I don't feel that. I don't want to throw myself into someone else's life the way I was eager to do as a young woman. I don't think I will ever remarry. Alot of older people aren't interested in a sexual relationship anymore. I don't know, my whole experience has made me question what I want... and has made me question what is even possible based on the dating pool I have met.

I have a good excuse to not worry about it. I go in for boob repair end of January, trip to Maui late February. In all honesty, I won't be seriously searching for a real boyfriend until spring. I was thinking of doing eharmony or something different, but at this point, I wonder if that is just a big waste of time.

Steve and I get on great. We have so much fun together and he is genuinely the most considerate man ever. We like the same activities, like similar food, have similiar fitness habits, have read the same books/watched the same movies... you know, we relate to each other very well.

The problem is three fold -

1. he recently figured out he has been pursuing relationships instead of building his own life; so he isn't ready.

2. He has 50% custody of his kids and as time goes on that situation is becoming more of an issue and

3. I don't feel that fire/love type of feeling.

Since we had the big chat about item #1, I decided to start dating again. I realize I make the same mistake over and over and over again which is too quickly narrowing my field to one man. It is against my nature, but EVERYONE from my counselor to our pals on this website tell me to not do that.

So, I went out with someone else on the night we went dancing (something Steve does not like) and this man is super fun. He is older - 59 - and he has clearly decided that permanent romantic relationships are impossible for him and he has no expectations of doing it. Flip side, he has a lot of fun interests he wants to share with me - so why not do some of that? I think I will maintain casual, non sexual dating relationships with a couple of men for awhile and just try to follow the advice people keep giving me. Practice?

I am wondering when I will just give up ... but for now I am enjoying myself. I have a longing for something else in my life and i am frankly a little worried about how I will feel when my boys move out... but, let's jump off that bridge when we get there.