gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[Globetrotter 1,340]

Here we are, Florinda and Jack ... <3

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Beautiful people - Florinda and Jack!

I agree with the vanity sizing rant. My size 6's are falling off now... frankly the small tops (well, some smalls don't go around my boobs, but otherwise smalls fit) and 2-4 pants are fitting me. I find that incredulous for someone with a 29-30" waist and 37" hip. When I was 22, and got down to 144 pounds (I weigh 140 now) I wore 9/10s and was surely NOT a small. I also notice - and I thought it was a Seattle thing - so many people going around in yoga pants, PJs and other not really clothes. I think getting fat and miserable is a reasonable diagnosis of the situation.

Do remember though that as a formerly obese we are "heavier" then our size. My friend Steven declared me a "skinny chick" based on looks not weight and most people guess i weigh in the 120s not the 140s... heavy bones, heavy organs I guess.

[coops 1,790]

yes! Beautiful photos - Florinda you look so happy - and such beauty!  Your teeth and smile are dazzling !!

 

Aye vanity sizes are here to stay - the skirt I wore on my 21st birthday, 22 years ago was a UK 14 and I'm a UK 12 now...hmmm!  Bring back fitted clothes with no elastic waist!

[coops 1,790]

So my second fast day is coming to an end... smashed it again!  Didn't have lunch so I went from 10 pm to 4pm without chewing,,, yey!  I had two crackers at 4pm cos I mentally needed a crunch, then porridge with low fat/cal pro biotic yogurt for tea at 9pm.

Tis my son's 14th birthday tomo, so more cake - I will have a small piece but I ain't going mad...lol!  Don't want to undo the good work of the last two fasts.

Gonna do another fast friday!

 

anyone else fasting?

[Globetrotter 1,340]

I'm fasting; I have been awfully indulgent in my eating while being here and the results are profound, not in pounds gained but in pain experienced. It is humbling but if I eat white flour and sugar etc etc I am more airheaded, have to rely on my cane, and feel general malaise, it is a wake up call, for sure. So today is a relative fast, i didn't want to shock my body so much, going from probably 2000+ to 600, so today is 2 Protein Shakes, a serving of guacomole (no filler, just avocado and spices), a handful of GF chips, and for dinner probably a salad with shredded up lunch meat. I figure that is probably 1000 cals, tomorrow I will shoot for >1000, the following day >800, and so on and so forth. I'll tell you what though, I can honestly and genuinely say that food soothes my anxiety, for sure! Without the food, I feel the anxiety, that is a fact. So, I need to do other things, number one is to just let myself feel anxious. I also notice my thought patterns, without food I become fixated on abusing myself for anything I can get my hands on, including childhood traumas, because (as we have learned here on VST) the mind would rather abuse you for a supposed personal fault, rather than deal with the new terror. The emotions after the Drs appt Monday were utterly traumatizing, so my brain is attacking me viciously, trying to find familiar ground v_v.

I think the thinner I get, the older the clothes I wear will be, lol, good thing I have always liked vintage!! Nothing like trying on a structured dress from the 50's to bring one back to reality on one's size! Or, one can go to the chi-chi boutiques that sell couture fashion, where a slip dress will set you back a couple grand, those kinds of clothes are still in "authentic" sizing, and probably in the opposite direction, rather than vanity sizing, the high fashion clothes are in punitive sizing!

[Chimera 644]

So beautiful Florinda thanks for sharing your wonderful pics. You look great together!

 

Knuckling down on carbs - have done well today, not so great with fast days - have been trying to stop eating earlier and start eating later ala daily intermittent fasting...I need to get into a new groove since my schedule is now so different.

 

The vanity sizing thing is kooky to me too - I wore 12/14's in the 80's and I weighed 130 lbs and thought I was as big as a house...meanwhile I am wearing a pair of size 8 jeans right now (5'3 and 165ish atm) - mind you that 1-2% of stretchy makes a big difference, back in the day there was no stretchy lol.

 

I just keep a list of my measurements in my wallet so I can check size charts - sometimes it feels like a pain, but it feels more like an adventure - as opposed to just hoping there would be something decent in the biggest size Lane Bryant, Catherines, or Lands End would carry. So frumpy - I still am frumpy....gonna keep working on that one

[swizzly 901]

Love the Florinda and Jack pic!! <3

 

Soooooo sorry abt the MS confirmation kicking you in the emotional gut. Hugs

[sarsar 824]

Florida, I love the pics! You look so happy! You are beautiful...your face, eyes, and smile are absolutely gorgeous. I'm sorry you had such a hard time after your appointment. Did the doctor give you any hope as far as meds or anything else you can do to keep your symptoms minimal? How is your mom handling your diagnosis? I'm glad you have jack by your side.

I don't really care too much about vanity sizing. To me it's just what it is so why worry or be concerned about it? That's just my opinion.

I'm still fasting 2 days a week. I like it and it makes me feel in control. I'm not as strict on my regular days so I have been maintaining just fine. I still want to get down to 135-140. My current bounce is 140-145. When I decide to tighten up on my regular days I know I can get there bit I guess I'm not totally motivated to do it at the moment.

So you all remember my dear friend that's been back on drugs. Well she's not doing great and I was able to talk to her on Sunday. She agreed to come here and get cleaned up in the next couple weeks. I was so happy. We had an excellent conversation. Well, today she txt me and said she's not coming yet and that she's not ready. My heart just aches. I don't get it and I am helpless bc there isn't a thing I can do about it. I am hurting. I want to curl up in a ball and not leave my room. I can't but I want to. How can someone with so much good to give just throw away her life like this? Her so called friends mean more to her right now than the ones that truly love her and would do anything for her. I don't know how those of you who have dealt with these issues handle it. It's so sad.

[UK Cathy 977]

Florinda, a beautiful picture - you look so happy.

Sarah so sorry that you feel so bad about your friend and that her decision is affecting you, you have opened your heart and home to her and unfortunately she is the only person who can make the decision to get clean.

We have limited internet access at the moment (thank you BT!), we thought it was all arranged prior to moving but BT had a different idea and they cannot reconnect us properly until 29 May, what we have is so slow and intermittent. I can only read now and then and rarely post.

I cannot get a fast day going, those blasted carbs. I think I might have to do a couple of shake days and go through the withdrawal. I'm on half term holiday next week so I will try then.

[BrownDoesAll 409]

Globe u guys look great together. Your beautiful smile says it all

I am fasting.tuesday and thursday. Tuesday was sucessful. I got a bit weak and light headed around 5pm but fine after diner. I really like the restriction feeling the day following a long fast. Really keeps me in control

[M2G 1,836]

Awwww love the Jack & Florinda pics....you are BEAUTIFUL Florinda!!! WOW!!!

Sarah, glad to hear from you, sorry about your friend, that is just so sad. Nothing like watching someone "throw it all away" when there is life to be lived. I hope she changes her mind soon, just know that YOU can't change it FOR her. Hugs my friend.

Kelly so glad to see you pop in here. I'm very sorry about your job. What is on the horizon next? That really just stinks the way everything went down. Sending you a hug too!

Well I *FINALLY* had a fast day yesterday...ended around 587 cals...woo hoo! Only bad thing was my 13 year old saw it on my fitbit app on my phone and was like "what the HECK!!!???" I don't talk about doing the 5:2 thing around the girls (hubby knows) but the LAST thing I need is for my teenage daughters to starting trying to "diet"...we push healthy eating etc. but certainly not restrictive like this. She was like "Mom I probably ate 350 calories just at Breakfast alone!" So I told her it was just a low-cal day and that I accidentally skipped lunch while visiting with my neighbor. Ugh.

Anyway, LOVE how I feel when I'm fasting...may try to do it again today! WOO HOO!

Edited May 22, 2014 by M2G

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Love to hear everybody is getting back on fasting track. I am not allowed to right now....my friends would kick my"skinny ass" - their words not mine- but my version is back on track with Vitamins, good hydration etc. Next is back to exercise!

I met someone I like. He is fun, energetic, a little crazy in a good way, lives close by, available,lives a country lifestyle,actually wants to be with me. He has a boat and we spent an amazing afternoon on Lake Washington. We are both a little smitten I think.

I am still sad about leaving Steven but I have been trying to exit his orbit for months so glad it finally happened. I love him but not in love....and done with his idiosyncrasies.... I am ready for a"real boyfriend" It is funny that once I said that out loud, that I was ready, my counselor cheered and the universe sent me Tino immediately. Even if he and I don't work out, I feel this seismic shift inside. I am ready to love again....a real love not the limited thing.

Steven was what I needed in 2013 but I am ready for a whole new phase in life!

Edited May 22, 2014 by CowgirlJane

[Georgia 2,908]

Here we are, Florinda and Jack ... <3

 

 

Absolutelybeautiful!!!!

[BrownDoesAll 409]

Hi ladies. Ended the week with two good fasting days and three controlled non fasting days. Feeling good. Down .5lbs. Slow and steady wins the race. How u doing Coops?

M2G good for you on the dieting for the teens. Had I been more aware of healthy eating as a teen and had a better body image I may not have been obese. Good job mom!

CGJ nice to see you enjoying life and met someone new. I put a profile on OKcupid for my daughter. Seeing the success you and OD and I think Globe met Jack in cyber space gives me hope for my daughter. Even at 28 if u don't meet a nice guy at work then its really hard for a quiet shy young lady to meet someone.

The play is planned for June 29th. Its getting close. Now into rehearsals set designs lighting music advertising etc. Very exciting and lots of work. But I am enjoying it

Cyber hugs to everyone

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Yeah on so many of us getting on track. Down 5#? Way to go Wanda!!! woo hoo, that is worthy of celebration!

I have no idea how people meet these days if they don't do the online thing. I have tried the whole, hang out in a coffee shop 1-2X a week, sorta letting friends know I am single and just being nicely dressed whenever i go out. I did meet someone at one of these meetup social events that is interested in me, but we have yet to be able to connect - and let's be honest, he still hasn't asked me on a date, he just emails me.

At least in my part of the country, men in my age range do not ask you out. I have met a few prospects while out on the trails and my counselor finally told me I need to start asking THEM for their email or phone number since guys that seem interested in me never "close the deal". It was actually Steven who suggested asking for email addys as that is less intrusive - made sense to me.

So, on the new guy - we have our 4th date on Saturday nigh so it is very much early days. We had a glorious long date out on his boat, i loved it, not just the beautiful day boating but his company. I loved how he showed me how to do things on the boat in a fun and easy going way. He was affectionate and warm without me feeling mauled like a piece of meat on the menu. He is a food pusher as a host though so we will need to discuss that. He has also offered to help me with something that felt very "boyfriendy" as an offer which was cool but, I am not getting my hopes up too high either...

I admit, I am still sad over my decision to part company with Steven - no tears or anything - just kinda a certain longing for what I am giving up if that makes any sense.

My back is freaking killing me. I can't believe the cascade of physical issues that has hit me the last few months.... sheesh