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Is the sex better because its physically better or because of self confidence rising? My self confidence is actually getting lower as I lose weight (ive only lost 30lbs but am losing my butt and boobs.) I have very high self esteem as a big woman and sex was always wonderful...now I dont want him to see my scars or smaller boobs so I turn the lights off...can't imagine when I'm thin. Anyone have this experience.

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Is the sex better because its physically better or because of self confidence rising? My self confidence is actually getting lower as I lose weight (ive only lost 30lbs but am losing my butt and boobs.) I have very high self esteem as a big woman and sex was always wonderful...now I dont want him to see my scars or smaller boobs so I turn the lights off...can't imagine when I'm thin. Anyone have this experience.

For me it is a combination of both. Physically I am able to do more, go longer, have better flexibility..but my self confidence is through the roof. Especially seeing the effect I have on my boyfriend with a pair of sexy panties or a pretty bra. My body is my body..he loved it before I had the surgery and he loves it after. He actually makes a point of kissing and rubbing my scars to let me know that he loves them as part of me. Don't hide it..they are your reminder that you will not go back to the way you were.

Ancient warriors used to mark themselves before going into battle or after battle with the number of kills they made..yes I know this is a bit of an extreme reference but this is a battle for me everyday..pound for pound..all the blood, sweat and tears I go through. I wear my scars like that...

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For me it is a combination of both. Physically I am able to do more, go longer, have better flexibility..but my self confidence is through the roof. Especially seeing the effect I have on my boyfriend with a pair of sexy panties or a pretty bra. My body is my body..he loved it before I had the surgery and he loves it after. He actually makes a point of kissing and rubbing my scars to let me know that he loves them as part of me. Don't hide it..they are your reminder that you will not go back to the way you were.

Ancient warriors used to mark themselves before going into battle or after battle with the number of kills they made..yes I know this is a bit of an extreme reference but this is a battle for me everyday..pound for pound..all the blood, sweat and tears I go through. I wear my scars like that...

that is awesome you are so blessed with such a good guy!!

Yay for us and the new life ahead of us!

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For me it is a combination of both. Physically I am able to do more' date=' go longer, have better flexibility..but my self confidence is through the roof. Especially seeing the effect I have on my boyfriend with a pair of sexy panties or a pretty bra. My body is my body..he loved it before I had the surgery and he loves it after. He actually makes a point of kissing and rubbing my scars to let me know that he loves them as part of me. Don't hide it..they are your reminder that you will not go back to the way you were.

Ancient warriors used to mark themselves before going into battle or after battle with the number of kills they made..yes I know this is a bit of an extreme reference but this is a battle for me everyday..pound for pound..all the blood, sweat and tears I go through. I wear my scars like that...[/quote']

My fiance loves me and he says the scars are hardly noticeable but its me that notices them. :-(

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Our sex life was good before surgery. I had surgery 5 wks ago. I'm down 33 lbs and have noticed we are physically getting closer and can do things that we couldn't before!!

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I had sex after 4 days so it all depends on how you're feeling. I always had a great sex life and am only 3 weeks out so can't really comment on that. I am pretty flexible for a big woman but can't wait til my fiance can pick me up while doing it...it will make shower sex more fun.. I am losing weight and he is bulking up.

Lol well alright now talk about goals.... Now THAT sounds like one for me to aim for as well lol:)

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My fiance loves me and he says the scars are hardly noticeable but its me that notices them. :-(

You need to get out of your own head girlie!!!! We are our own worst critics..every day our bodies are undergoing such an amazing transformation and yes I know sometimes it is hard to think of yourself as "being thin" or "looking good" but you have to start somewhere!!!

This is going to sound so freaking off the wall but I have been building myself a positive reinforcement fortress...so like I have sticky notes on my mirror saying things like "You are beautiful" or "Keep up the great work" or on my fridge that say.."Do you really want that crap you are about to put in your mouth". I also do a mental kind of exercise in bed before I go to sleep..where I visualize a part of my body and like mentally admire it..

Before you go running to call the white coat guys..just try it..we are are own worst critics but something a therapist taught me is that we are also our best and most awesome cheerleaders. It is all perspective.

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You need to get out of your own head girlie!!!! We are our own worst critics..every day our bodies are undergoing such an amazing transformation and yes I know sometimes it is hard to think of yourself as "being thin" or "looking good" but you have to start somewhere!!!

This is going to sound so freaking off the wall but I have been building myself a positive reinforcement fortress...so like I have sticky notes on my mirror saying things like "You are beautiful" or "Keep up the great work" or on my fridge that say.."Do you really want that crap you are about to put in your mouth". I also do a mental kind of exercise in bed before I go to sleep..where I visualize a part of my body and like mentally admire it..

Before you go running to call the white coat guys..just try it..we are are own worst critics but something a therapist taught me is that we are also our best and most awesome cheerleaders. It is all perspective.

I thought I was beautiful that's the thing is I HAD high self esteem but it is slowly diminishing as I am losing weight and losing my womanly body. Im not saying thin people arent women but last time I was thin was before puberty

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I thought I was beautiful that's the thing is I HAD high self esteem but it is slowly diminishing as I am losing weight and losing my womanly body. Im not saying thin people arent women but last time I was thin was before puberty

I guess then I am confused on why you elected to have surgery. Thinking your body was not going to change as a result of weight loss is not realistic :( I know you wish it came off in other places but you can't control that..no one can.

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I guess then I am confused on why you elected to have surgery. Thinking your body was not going to change as a result of weight loss is not realistic :( I know you wish it came off in other places but you can't control that..no one can.

Yeah I had surgery to be healthy. ..I knew I'd need to see a therapist eventually but I didn't realize this soon. Everything I read says if you are pear shaped you will remain pear shaped. Like your proportions dont change but your size does. I assumed my body would change but I didnt assume id lose all my curves first that's all.

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oh yes, lol its better :D less fat in the way = more flexible!!! hubby is loving it! and im more confident as I get thinner and feel better about myself. :)

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After reading this I have in my mind pretzel girl lol. I can't wait to buy cute costumes too!

Less weight will work better in so many ways.

Continued success on your journey everyone.

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After reading this I have in my mind pretzel girl lol. I can't wait to buy cute costumes too!

Less weight will work better in so many ways.

Continued success on your journey everyone.

Lol. My husband came to a yoga class with me a few weeks ago. Afterwards he said "I had no idea how flexible you are, you are really quite bendy". I looked at him sideways wondering what he was thinking. Sure enough next time we are at it, he starts calling out fricken yoga poses and laughing! Telling me it will be a better work out!

He is a sick man, but I love him ;-)

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LouiseC,

I can hear down dog in my head and start grinning. Yoga will be his friend as you advance lol.

Enjoy you new adventures.

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Been with my husband for 23 yrs, married for almost 19. We've always been known to be extremely physically attracted to each other, even with our weight gain over the yrs. my husband has no problem dropping pounds, where it was never easy for me. But sex has always been great.

NOW, after the sleeve is a different incredible experience. While hubbie was very supportive during my struggle to get healthy, surgery or not, I think he's happier than I am now. I think he thinks he has a new wife. I laugh & tell him I'm new & improved. Lol...

Everything has gotten smaller, not worried about that because I was a size 3/4 when I met my husband & a 5/6 when we married. So not worried about him seeing my small boobs, smaller bottom, or my very very small scars.

Yes, I feel more confident that I no long look like I am pregnant. No longer have to spend hundreds of $$$$ on body magic garments to tuck stomach. Everything has shrunk to both our liking & appreciation. And still shrinking.

When I say everything has shrunk, it's left one thing exposed quite often. "Not being shy, right?" So when I walk or sit, I'm turned on. Incredible!!!!!! So you can only imagine what happens by the time I meet up with my husband thoughtful the days.

Funny that we do stuff now that I don't recall doing years ago when I was a size 7-8. We laugh now only saying I was still being "conservative" then, now that we really really now & respect each other, the things we do, WOW!!!! I new found attraction.

Oh so happy!!!!!

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