People treat me different now

[notmeanymore 629]

Im a little conflicted at my recent observation...When I was fatter (75 pounds ago) and would go shopping for example, the clerks wouldnt offer to help me, workers in the grocery store or convenient store would act as if I didnt exist. Now that Im 75 lighter, people are so nice. They offer to help, they go out of their way to assist me or do me a favor. While I love the attention Im conflicted because its makes me a little sad to think that those same people didnt give me a second thought when I was bigger. Was I not a human being then too? Especially at that time I wouldve loved someone to pay attention to me because lord knows my self esteem needed a shot in the arm every so often. Not only that but now, I find that bigger people almost scowl at me. I can be nice as pie and am but will still get the looks. I know exactly how they feel though because I was there, unhappy and miserable. I remember frequently being envious of the thinner people, the people that could shop in the normal size clothes section, wear pretty shoes and all that. But I am who I am and Im still going to be nice and kind to everyone because we are all human beings after all but the view from one side of the fence to the other is quite an interesting one.

[Skinnypie 66]

I've struggled some with this internally as well, but I often wonder if some of it was in my head and if in reality I ALSO acted differently before, if I gave off a different, unapproachable vibe and maybe that is why people treated me differently...? I guess I will never really know. Like you said though, I try to be kind to everyone no matter their size, shape, color, age etc... It's really a lot to think about!!

[NewAshes 232]

I'm pre op but regular people have tested this. I saw it on a tv show once. A thin lady was in New York asking for help and everyone helped her. Then they put on a fat suit and extra skin on her face and was out asking the same questions and people actually avoided her, some people helped though. I'm not only fat but I'm bi racial and its not nearly as bad these days but I'm watched closely in some stores. It happens a lot as a child and my grandma actually confronted a clerk once lol. I can change my weight but I can't change my ethnicity. I have become introverted and learned to like to stay home.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I've struggled some with this internally as well, but I often wonder if some of it was in my head and if in reality I ALSO acted differently before, if I gave off a different, unapproachable vibe and maybe that is why people treated me differently...? I guess I will never really know. Like you said though, I try to be kind to everyone no matter their size, shape, color, age etc... It's really a lot to think about!!

I'd say you are more right, personally. The only time I have ever had a salesperson treat me badly is at one of the high end boutiques in the area. I have every intention of visiting them as a skinny person and telling them to shove it up their arsticles.

I have never been treated poorly anywhere else. I am in the people business though (that's my real paying job), so I enter every situation with a warm greeting for all along with a smile and direct eye contact at all times. I have friends who have poor experiences (fat and thin) at the same shops, but I do believe it's all in their demeanor.

When you go out with your head held high like you are the most awesome person in the world, people treat you that way. It's not always easy, and I often have to fake it, but it's always effective.

[notmeanymore 629]

I'd say you are more right, personally. The only time I have ever had a salesperson treat me badly is at one of the high end boutiques in the area. I have every intention of visiting them as a skinny person and telling them to shove it up their arsticles.

I have never been treated poorly anywhere else. I am in the people business though (that's my real paying job), so I enter every situation with a warm greeting for all along with a smile and direct eye contact at all times. I have friends who have poor experiences (fat and thin) at the same shops, but I do believe it's all in their demeanor.

When you go out with your head held high like you are the most awesome person in the world, people treat you that way. It's not always easy, and I often have to fake it, but it's always effective.

I suppose you could be right. I remember always wanting to be invisible I guess so why then would anyone approach me if I gave off the vibe that I didnt want any attention. I think the only store I felt accepted in was Torrid. The chics in there were always so nice because honestly, it was their job to cater to the bigger population.

And I do carry myself different now. Although in my head, every time I see someone pull into or out of a McDonalds I secretly think "you do not need to be going there" and I remember almost feeling ashamed when I would go there. Im sure Ill work all this out but its a funny little experiment in human nature isnt it?

[liteNsun 58]

I hope I don't digress here but considering the question of fat v. thin. This makes me think a lot about how the bigger actress Melissa McCarthy is co staring with thin Sandra Bullock in new movie "Heat". I notice now that Melissa is now the biggerblockbuster star lately in so many shows because she is SO GOOD at what she does in many roles. I see big gals maybe initially in size but quickly notice them for their good work and that seems to be my lasting impression. We can all make an impact on others for good or bad or not at all if we want to.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

people treat me different now

hi BunnyK

anyone - clerk et el......

that treats someone different due to weight (either way) is just showing their ignorance

you/anyone doesn't need them in their life

unfortuanately these people are around

.....................................

OMG

75 lbs down

i knew i've been seeing less of you

i have envied some people on this board that actually said they were always happy, out going

self-confident, work et al prior to WLS (I was never in that group)

besides their weight/health problem - life was good

As OP have said in their different words.........

ways you are being "treated" reacted to now - could be influenced by the better waves/vibrations you are sending

you have successfully lost weight, feel much better about yourself

those good feelings can't help but show/radiate

these feelings/thoughts/changes made me "receive" people better - cuz i felt so great - they seemed nicer to me

People have said they are no different than they were pre-WLS

I AM a little different

i am still "cute as a button" sweet as "pie"

but now i am so much happier and healthier

i feel better/confident et al about myself

people can't help but respond nicely to that

congrats on your weight loss

25 lbs til goal???????????

right around the corner!!!!

holding the door open to the century club

due to your weight loss - you don't have to "squeeze" in

just walk through with your head held high

take care bud

kathy

[notmeanymore 629]

people treat me different now

hi BunnyK

anyone - clerk et el......that treats someone different due to weight (either way) is just showing their ignorance. you/anyone doesn't need them in their life. unfortuanately these people are around

.....................................

OMG 75 lbs down! i knew i've been seeing less of you.

i have envied some people on this board that actually said they were always happy, out going, self-confident, work et al prior to WLS (I was never in that group) besides their weight/health problem - life was good.

As OP have said in their different words....ways you are being "treated" reacted to now - could be influenced by the better waves/vibrations you are sending you have successfully lost weight, feel much better about yourself. those good feelings can't help but show/radiate. these feelings/thoughts/changes made me "receive" people better - cuz i felt so great - they seemed nicer to me.

People have said they are no different than they were pre-WLS. I AM a little different. i am still "cute as a button" sweet as "pie" but now i am so much happier and healthier. i feel better/confident et al about myself. people can't help but respond nicely to that.

congrats on your weight loss 25 lbs til goal??????????? right around the corner!!!!

holding the door open to the century club. due to your weight loss - you don't have to "squeeze" in just walk through with your head held high

take care bud

kathy

Oh Kathy, you are just a ray of sunshine! Im so grateful for you my dear. Thats a great way to put it "receive people better" because I think thats a big part of it too. Im a lot less defensive now because for years people have been discriminatory, rude or disrespectful. It does take some adjusting though to have people be all nice and helpful. My true friends of course have always shown me love and support so Im grateful for that.

Thank you for the open door for the century club sweetheart. I cant wait to join you. Ill bring party favors 6 months ago I never ever imagined how my life would change in so many positive ways. I cant wipe the smile off my face

XOXO Bunny

[HatheryOnHerWay 603]

In our society, most people few larger folks as less attractive than slender ones. Here's an interesting article about a study Dateline did on how people treat "Unattractive" vs. "attractive" people: http://www.nbcnews.com/id/3917414/ns/dateline_nbc/t/face-value/

[notmeanymore 629]

In our society, most people few larger folks as less attractive than slender ones. Here's an interesting article about a study Dateline did on how people treat "Unattractive" vs. "attractive" people: http://www.nbcnews.c...c/t/face-value/

Its a shame though it may be true. Thanks for the article, it was very interesting.