Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Serious question seeks serious answer!



Recommended Posts

I am very curious as to why BBWs don't like to date larger men? One time in my search for an answer I came across a woman who told me that 2 big people don't seem right. Whatever the hell that means. So now that I am on this site I thought I'd ask. I really am wanting to get a serious answer. This just isn't a couple of women I've met or just something that has happened to me but I've noticed a trend of this everywhere. Hell a lot of dating sites have lots of bbws wanting tall slender men or something of the sort. I've always loved larger women yet I've never dated one. Makes no sense to me. Thanks in advance.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Each and every person has his/her own personal choices. I don't have an answer for you and hope you find the answer. BTW, does it really matter now....your on your way to a thinner healthier you. Congrats on your weight loss.......

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think that is true. I know several "portly" couples and they were both overweight before they married.

So, the whole BBW thing on dating sites often seems to me like skinny guys who like big boobs... sorry to be so blunt. It seems pretty superficial.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've date one guy that was the same size as me, but I couldn't anymore I wanted to get healthy n he was happy being over weight even when he was diagnosed as diabetics ..the sex was ok , I loved his personally but not his outlook on getting healthier

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I like blunt and yes I have to agree with you. It does seem to make sense now why all my co workers stare at the larger ladies. Thanks for your answer :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Each and every person has his/her own personal choices. I don't have an answer for you and hope you find the answer. BTW, does it really matter now....your on your way to a thinner healthier you. Congrats on your weight loss.......

it kinda does matter to me. my taste happens to be the larger ladies and uh it just sucks that I am kinda shunned away. thank you and yes the weight loss is very awesome and I have thinned quite a bit but my mind is still that bigger guy who has just a little bit of trouble with the ladies. shyness is an understatement lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Maybe .. And I mean MAYBE, it could be that the majority of BBW are sincerely not happy being BBW and being with a BBM is just a reminder of what they dont like about themselves. It's like looking in the mirror all the time. In general, Women are way more sensitive to things that, for a variety of reasons, don't bother men. Just a thought.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have to agree somewhat that it depends on the individual. Beauty as we all know is skin deep. Ladies such as myself go 100% on heart... I personally think Kevin James is one of the sexiest guys in hollywood - its probably his sense of humor that gets me.

You are TOTALLY cute...and straight forward no less. Dont worry, you will find her. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Maybe .. And I mean MAYBE' date=' it could be that the majority of BBW are sincerely not happy being BBW and being with a BBM is just a reminder of what they dont like about themselves. It's like looking in the mirror all the time. In general, Women are way more sensitive to things that, for a variety of reasons, don't bother men. Just a thought.[/quote']

I agree!! I wasn't happy with my body imagine n my boyfriend loved his

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Personal preference sweetie.. I like thin/athletic men.. My current BF is 160 pounds.. My ex husband was BUILT.. AND he was a marathon runner! What you LIKE has nothing to do with what you LOOK LIKE! I am the opposite of them, but they found me attractive even though I didn't have a similar body to theirs.

For me it has nothing to do with self-loathing as some here have suggested.. I've never had a problem with the aesthetics of my weight and I've always been confident...(perhaps why I've never had a shortage in the men department???) I'm losing the weight strictly for my health. When I am thinner, I'll still like thin/athletic men.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Personal preference sweetie.. I like thin/athletic men.. My current BF is 160 pounds.. My ex husband was BUILT.. AND he was a marathon runner! What you LIKE has nothing to do with what you LOOK LIKE! I am the opposite of them' date=' but they found me attractive even though I didn't have a similar body to theirs.

For me it has nothing to do with self-loathing as some here have suggested.. I've never had a problem with the aesthetics of my weight and I've always been confident...(perhaps why I've never had a shortage in the men department???) I'm losing the weight strictly for my health. When I am thinner, I'll still like thin/athletic men.[/quote']

When I was young I wasn't as confident as I am now..my hubby has help a lot with that !! And sex with a skinner man is a lot better for me anyways

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I tend to agree that it is a personal preference. I've had weight issues my entire life and have dated all different shapes and sizes, I tend to gravitate to a bigger guy. Taller etc. not just weight (I'm also fairly tall ,so I think proportion as opposed to weight). In my dating experience I've met guys who only wanted larger women, that to me is more fetish than attraction. Real attraction come from the whole package, in my opinion.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I actually prefer bigger men. My bf is 6'3" 352 pounds

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Let me tell you a little "secret" - self confidence is probably the most important attractiveness factor when women are evaluating men. Do not discount the power of a friendly smile, eye contact and a genuine interest in a nice woman.

it kinda does matter to me. my taste happens to be the larger ladies and uh it just sucks that I am kinda shunned away. thank you and yes the weight loss is very awesome and I have thinned quite a bit but my mind is still that bigger guy who has just a little bit of trouble with the ladies. shyness is an understatement lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Okay, and then there is height.... this is more of a thing to me now that i can wear heels. I love HEELS. So, I sorta like hanging out around guys who I don't tower over. I start at 5'5" and add several inches to that - i feel well matched to someone who is at least 5'10". would I pick a life partner on height? heck no. Might i pick a dance partner on height... maayyybbeee... okay, I am superficial!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×