Child free... Way off topic

[apricot1119 105]

I am 33. Very happily married. Now a normal weight. I self payed in the states. My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years. Everyone keeps making comments about pregnancy easier now that I am smaller or aren't you worried about pregnancy weight. Thing is, I don't think I want kids. Ever. I would like some feed back on the pros and cons of that choice. Anyone who has an opinion, young, old, male female, parent or not. Thanks!

[NurseGrace 509]

I am the same way. People look at me like I have three heads when I say that but I really just dont have any motherly instinct.

[DrmBig4Evr 152]

Well I had my kids very young. It is a very personal decision. Would I have more children? No, but I love them with all my heart. I think if I would have waited I wouldn't have had any kids or I may have adopted once I had my career and relationship solid. Now I am on a 5 year IUD and I am happy that I made that choice. My boys are now 11 and 18. With that said...I can't wait for grandkids (hopefully 10 years from now) because I have friends who I visit often and when their grandkids are around its sooo awesome.

[newat52 1,612]

Having children or not, is a very personal decision. Every woman has desires and wants. They are just not alway the same. For me personally, I always wanted children and can't imagine my life WITHOUT them. I knew I would be a good mother and I am. That said, some women do not desire to have children and can't imagine their life WITH them. Everyone is different. My 2 cents is don't let anyone pressure or shame you for your decision, whichever you choose. People pry and ask and pressure but who is the one raising the child?

I have always told my now grown boys, have children if and when you are ready and don't let anyone tell your decisions are wrong. Our oldest son has been married a year now and I have not ever asked about their reproductive choices. That is between my son and his wife. Period. If and when they decide to have a child, I'm sure I will be one of the first to know. I get asked a lot from people when are they going to have a baby? I tell them I know know. It's none of my business. It's not.

To you, when people ask I would look them in the eye and politely tell them my reproductive status is not up for discussion. It will shut them down. You will only have to do it a few times. Then people will stop.

Good luck in whatever you decide.

[gmanbat 5,889]

One needs to come to Florida, drive on I-4 in Orlando or I-275/75 in Tampa at 5:00 P.M..

The most important people; my wife, daughter and granddaughters, are already here.

There are enough people in the world.

[RAAinNH 113]

You still have plenty of time to decide. When or if the time is right, you'll know it.

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

I am a child lover. My entire life evolves around children. My education, my career, my life, etc. with that said, I have the utmost respect for people who make the choice to not have children. You know what's best! I admire that. I wish more people would actually think about it first. Good for you!

Personally, I would much prefer people that decide they don't want kids than to people who have kids and not want them

On a side note.. Hehe, I didn't have I motherly instinct in my body, mind or soul until I held my first born.

[No game 14,436]

I didn't have my first child until I was thirty..

She is now 16. In some ways I'm glad I waited because I was able to live my life until then anyway I chose. I was able to do what I wanted when I wanted with whom I wanted. When I had my children though I changed everything, I wanted to be the kind of mother I never had.

My mother had us young and she was out of control to say the least. I do find that having them older is good in that sense.. But I did have moments of "Missing" my freedom.

I wanted both of my children and wouldn't change it for anything! Am I looking forward to getting past the raising them stage to go out and do things with my husband alone again? Well I have a 16 year old girl, so many days yes!

It's a personal thing, having children. I think there is no right or wrong answer as long as you do what's right for YOU. It will work out.

[gmanbat 5,889]

I am a child lover. My entire life evolves around children. My education, my career, my life, etc. with that said, I have the utmost respect for people who make the choice to not have children. You know what's best! I admire that. I wish more people would actually think about it first. Good for you!

Personally, I would much prefer people that decide they don't want kids than to people who have kids and not want them

On a side note.. Hehe, I didn't have I motherly instinct in my body, mind or soul until I held my first born.

You, too?

This is me before my daughter was born:

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

OMG.. Gmanbat, You probably heard me gasp all the way from Washington to Florida when I watched that!!

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

I don't think I want kids

apricot11119

as everyone else said, this is a very personal decision/choice

decision can't be made one afternoon on VSG board!!!!!

"years back" - as you "became an adult"??, things were "supposed" to happen

high school, maybe college, fall in love, get married , couple of years later - THEN, baby makes 3

doesn't work that way anymore!!!!!

you don't need to give birth to prove you are a women!!!

people want their careers, enjoy life - marriage? significant other? or happiness within themselves - without partner - or with???

"rule book" should/has been thrown away!!!!!

population explosion/unwanted kids

if you are doubting yourself even a "smidgin" about having kids - my opinion - go with your first thoughts

People will "get over it" - its not their business - and don't feel you have to explain yourself

I "hear" you are a successful weight "loser" - i can tell you are 100% a winner!!!!!

do whats best for you!!!!

good luck

btw - high school, married at 19 - beautiful daughter at 21 - divorced at 25 - remarried at 38 to a keeper for 21 years and counting - became a ProudGrammy at 47!!!!

[Geminidrive 389]

There is nothing wrong with not wanting children if that is your choice, I think it's admirable. Every woman wasn't meant to have children. Whatever your choice, I'm sure it will be an informed decision.

[RebecaSparkles 247]

I also don't / did not want children. However, I fell in love with a man that wanted. It came to a point of contention and we negotiated for 1 child & 1 additional large dog ( hubby wants & I said no bc we have 2) . I would get pregnant and have a child once. If he wants two he better pray for twins. They will be his responsibility. He will stay home with them and be the primary caregiver. I will of course love them & whatnot but I will not sacrifice my career that I worked so hard on to the point of being 100# overweight for something I don't really want.

I am not cold, I am realistic. We have 2 dogs 3 years old. He cannot take care of them if I leave for a week. How can I expect for him to take care of a child?

Furthermore I work in a childrens hospital. I play with other peoples children all day & then they go home with someone else. I make prosthetic legs so I get those special moments that make you cry & full of joy at work. I feel that is enough for me when coupled with the dogs & hubby.

So. Long to short. Be realistic about what you want and don't hesitate to get it in writing.

[apricot1119 105]

So Rebecca did you have a child? Does he do the lions share of the work?

[apricot1119 105]

My husband and I are on the same page thank goodness. We enjoy being dinks ( dual income no kids). I teach high school special Ed. I enjoy it but need my grown up time. We have done the pros and cons, and I am good with my choice. It is just so polarizing. I am so interested in how other people came to make the choice and then how they feel about their outcomes...