Lying about Weight Loss Surgery !

[PdxMan 4,292]

And people.. Please stop insinuating that we are embarrassed, selfish, ashamed or worse.. We don't have close friends!?! Seriously? ... Really?!?

My WLS does not dominate my daily life. I am (we) are not LYING about anything and not telling others is not selfish, fact, (sorry if i step on toes or egos) I think it's more self centered to think everyone wants to know all about you and your WLS.

I agree, PdxMan.. the topic is well covered.

I couldn't agree more. I think in one of the other threads along this line I posted a similar thought.

Really ... everyone is not standing at the Water cooler talking about you. It is all in your head. It really isn't all about you.

Really ... I mean it ... it's not ...

And if you really think it is, then it tells me that you are the kind of person who goes to the Water cooler to talk about everyone else. You are projecting your own issues onto everyone else. If you got this sleeve to get a new life, then get one ...

[sarahzamudio1091 185]

I have been telling everybody about my surgery who will listen for several different reasons...

I'm excited and I want to share the excitement of me changing my life for the better' date=' The outpouring of support from my friends and family and coworkers and others has been overwhelming , very few people have shown negative reaction and when they do, I act like I do not care,,,,

Since I have shared my story was so many people about doing the weight-loss surgery many people did not know this was even an option especially going to Mexico with great success and are now doing it themselves...

I feel like the more I share this with people the more I educate others about the awareness of obesity, controlling it and being able to do something about it and I'm proud of my decision of having the self-esteem & the courage to go forward to make myself a healthier better person !!

The only people who have given a negative reaction are the uneducated about the topic and the people who do not have a weight problem so I don't expect either one of those to understand anyway!

i feel so bad that people feel they have to hide this or lie about it ....So it is my opinion ...why lie because then you have to cover lies with more lies and he just gets worse ...be honest about who you are and I think people seem to respect me for having the courage to go forth but that's just my opinion and I respect everyone else's! <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />[/quote']

Exactly !! I have two of my friends going through the process now because of me )) they really didnt know about it

[newat52 1,612]

And people.. Please stop insinuating that we are embarrassed, selfish, ashamed or worse.. We don't have close friends!?! Seriously? ... Really?!?

My WLS does not dominate my daily life. I am (we) are not LYING about anything and not telling others is not selfish, fact, (sorry if i step on toes or egos) I think it's more self centered to think everyone wants to know all about you and your WLS.

I agree, PdxMan.. the topic is well covered.

Can I follow that up with an Amen Sister?!!!

[Kristina J. 581]

So, I wanna clear a couple things up after re-reading this thread and my post, after being humbled by a few of my favorite vets posts! I've publicly expressed my forum crush on Pdx before! And I want to be Antiband! Lol

Every time this topic comes up, it takes the same course (I still don't know why I posted lol I should have know it would go on forever and to move along lol).

The only real answer is that everyone is going to find their own level of comfort with what they want to say and why!! Yes, I am an open book but only because I'm that way with everything!! I am sure I don't value privacy as much as I should. Probably a product of my social media generation! Lol

And others don't feel like its anyone's business!! And I don't think any of us have a right to judge each others decisions!! Had I not started out by telling everyone about my lap band, I don't know how I would feel this time around. And it is a whole lot easier for me to be open about it as a stay at home mom, since all my contacts are family or friends and not co-workers! Co-workers can be a very tricky situation with ANY personal information!

After re-reading the OP (and admittedly, part of my post), it is pretty insensitive. And I think the part of my post saying I felt mean not telling my overweight friends could probably be edited for some sensitivity. These are very close friends that I have dieted and struggled with in a very open way for years. Changing my process with THOSE people and doing it privately, given our established weight loss "team" mentality seems unfair to me. But I don't feel like I would need to explain myself to every other overweight person I know! I hope that makes a little more sense.

There a lot of reasons people choose not to tell people and just because they don't doesn't make them "liars" and certainly doesn't automatically mean they're ashamed or embarrassed!! My sister had WLS last year, and would be just as upset about that coming out as she would about her fertility issues. She is ashamed of neither, but is my polar opposite when it comes to personal privacy! As in, she actually values it!! Lol I am trying to find a happy medium between her and myself. I over share! Lol

I don't necessarily think sharing means we are self centered. But maybe that was a counter point to being called selfish, and I get that. I share with those who want to know and don't talk about it at all with those who don't care. But I definitely don't think that not telling makes anyone a liar or selfish, and I'm sorry if my post implied that!!

[sarahzamudio1091 185]

And people.. Please stop insinuating that we are embarrassed' date=' selfish, ashamed or worse.. We don't have close friends!?! Seriously? ... Really?!?

My WLS does not dominate my daily life. I am (we) are not LYING about anything and not telling others is not selfish, fact, (sorry if i step on toes or egos) I think it's more self centered to think everyone wants to know all about you and your WLS.

I agree, PdxMan.. the topic is well covered. <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />[/quote']

It's not about people shouting it out to complete strangers , I'm talking about the people that get asked " how did you lose so much weight? " then reply "oh I cut out the carbs and work out. " that's how I lost 200 plus pounds!!! Yeah right

I think those people look at them like ... Yeah sure anyways lol. I feel embarrassed for my friend that has always has to hide behind a fake lie.

[PdxMan 4,292]

So ... you are concerned about what another person says and thinks about someone who has had a surgery and has chosen to keep the details private?

And even though they divulged they have changed their diet and exercise more, you are still calling them a lier ... right?

I hope one day you can find it in your heart to be more supportive of your fellow WLS folks. You traveled your journey and they have traveled theirs. I have been judged my entire life regarding my weight and my ability/inability to control it. Now that I have done something about it, I am still being judged.

Talk about the definition of not winning for losing ... I can't even do that right ...

Is that what you are saying? Thanks for the support, BTW ...

How about you keep your side of the street clean and I'll worry about mine?

Deal?

[PdxMan 4,292]

Oh, for everyone who is going to climb all over me and send me PMs saying I should be more supportive to the newbies, maybe I can suggest the newbies be more supportive of everyone else.

[sarahzamudio1091 185]

I am supportive of my friend losing the weight and having a healthier life , just think her life would be so much easier not having to continuously come up with reasons on how quick she lost the weight .

[newat52 1,612]

It's not about people shouting it out to complete strangers , I'm talking about the people that get asked " how did you lose so much weight? " then reply "oh I cut out the carbs and work out. " that's how I lost 200 plus pounds!!! Yeah right

I think those people look at them like ... Yeah sure anyways lol. I feel embarrassed for my friend that has always has to hide behind a fake lie.

Again, it's about privacy and keeping one's business to ones self. How hard is that to understand? Why in the world do think that you are required to answer every question that you are asked? Many people choose to keep the details of their lives private.

You think people are thinking ill of your friend and you are embarrassed for her? What does it matter to you? Those people doing the oh yeah, right thing are not worthy of an answer anyway they are the Water cooler gossips.

Do what ever you feel is right for you but really, stop the judging try to learn to respect other's views.

[newat52 1,612]

I am supportive of my friend losing the weight and having a healthier life , just think her life would be so much easier not having to continuously come up with reasons on how quick she lost the weight .

What business is that of yours anyway? Just because you think it, doesn't make it so.

While we may all be on the same weight loss journey, not everyone has the same path.

Take your path.

Give your friend the respect to take hers.

[sarahzamudio1091 185]

Again' date=' it's about privacy and keeping one's business to ones self. How hard is that to understand? Why in the world do think that you are required to answer every question that you are asked? Many people choose to keep the details of their lives private.

You think people are thinking ill of your friend and you are embarrassed for her? What does it matter to you? Those people doing the oh yeah, right thing are not worthy of an answer anyway they are the Water cooler gossips.

Do what ever you feel is right for you but really, stop the judging try to learn to respect other's views.[/quote']

I do respect her decision not to say anythingI , just think its easier not to lie .. Lies build up on top of each other .

[rdt210 82]

I am supportive of my friend losing the weight and having a healthier life , just think her life would be so much easier not having to continuously come up with reasons on how quick she lost the weight .

I don't think it's up to you get to decide what makes her life easier - that's up to her. And maybe for her it's easier not to talk about it. And for you, it's easier to tell all. Continue to support her - if she hasn't feel comfortable in two years telling folks about her surgery, you should support that. Live and let live.

[sarahzamudio1091 185]

Again' date=' it's about privacy and keeping one's business to ones self. How hard is that to understand? Why in the world do think that you are required to answer every question that you are asked? Many people choose to keep the details of their lives private.

You think people are thinking ill of your friend and you are embarrassed for her? What does it matter to you? Those people doing the oh yeah, right thing are not worthy of an answer anyway they are the Water cooler gossips.

Do what ever you feel is right for you but really, stop the judging try to learn to respect other's views.[/quote']

Judging ? Who in the hell is judging? I just didnt understand the point behind it all !

[JonB 114]

If you start out heavy enough you can easily lose 30 pounds in a month just by dieting. I lost 35 in the first month of my six month pre-op diet. I started out at 484 pounds. After six months of sensible eating (no sweets, very liitle carbs) I lost 112 pounds. The first month I was losing a pound a day, the second and third month five pounds a week, then four, then three pounds a week by month six. Then I went on my two-week peo-op liquid diet and lost a pound a day again Two weeks out of surgery, I am currently losing at the rate of six pounds a week. I'm down to 340 - 144 pounds lost so far!

[PdxMan 4,292]

I do respect her decision not to say anythingI , just think its easier not to lie .. Lies build up on top of each other .

When I am asked how I did it and I say I eat smaller portion sizes and exercise more, that is a lie by your moral standards ... right?

So, if your friend does not live by your moral compass, then she is somehow less of a person? Tell me, are you ready to live by my moral compass? How about the drug-dealing child pornographer? Could you live by the moral compass of a hasidic jew?

Why do you get to set what constitutes a lie for your friend or anyone else here?