Very confused!

[Jesser 295]

I'm so confused right now... I'm having a hard time sleeping at night because all I think about is trying to figure out what I should do. I try talking to my family about it, but they are against me going to Mexico, so every bit of advice they offer to me isn't beneficial one bit. I feel completely alone. Almost to the point that I just want to forget about the surgery all together because it's causing me more stress and I haven't even had it yet! My Mother won't even look at surgeons websites with me so I can talk to her about my options. I know with my son, if he was thinking of doing this I would be researching left and right with him making sure he was content with his choice. She's been this way my entire life though. I don't think I can remember one time where she's told me that she was proud of me or that I was good at something. EVER. So not only do I feel like she doesn't support me in this, I feel like she's not a big supporter of anything that I do. I usually always do things on my own.

Right now I'm torn about which surgeon I should go to. I posted a thread the other night and got a lot of good responses and ideas, but my head is still churning. I don't have much money and going to Dr. Aceves is going to be extremely hard on me financially. I mean, I can manage it, but it would be nice just to plop down the $4500 with Lopez or Garcia and be done with it. But it scares me. I ask myself why does Dr. Aceves charge so much more? True, he's in a full service hospital, but I was told he uses the best equipment, staples, everything. And that he fixes many sleeves from other surgeons due to the sleeve being too large or pouches in it. A part of me wants to just go with him because he has a great reputation and I'm sure I'd get the care I need. But I've also read lots of great things on MiHospital and the surgeons out of there. They haven't done it as long as Dr. Aceves though, and I'm not sure about the care I'd receive at MiDoctor in a life or death situation. I'm just going back and forth...

[njones916 30]

I have researched and gone back and fourth over 2 years. I understand completely that this is not picking out groceries, where you can just go the cheap-o route. However, I have decided on Dr Garcia at MiHosipital. I have read nothing but great reviews about him, his staff and the hospital. I feel completely at ease with my choice.

In regards to your family, if you wait for her to come around and be ok with this, you may be waiting for ever.

[Jesser 295]

I have researched and gone back and fourth over 2 years. I understand completely that this is not picking out groceries' date=' where you can just go the cheap-o route. However, I have decided on Dr Garcia at MiHosipital. I have read nothing but great reviews about him, his staff and the hospital. I feel completely at ease with my choice.

In regards to your family, if you wait for her to come around and be ok with this, you may be waiting for ever.[/quote']

Isn't that the truth!

[Fawn1120 18]

Jesser,

I feel exactly like you! I haven't said anything to my mother because she is so negative about everything, I just don't want to hear it. I am struggling on a decision about Tijuana surgeons. The one that I really want is $5,500. I just learned last night that his former asst surgeon has opened his own practice and is charging $4,000. But, I can hardly find any information about any of his patients. Is this good because he performed 1,000 surgerys with my preferred doctor? If I helped someone 1,000 times, I think I would be really good at it, so why do I question the junior surgeons experience??

My husband is very supportive, thankfully! However, he just closed his business as it was costing more to keep the doors open than not. So, $1,500 seems much more important. Then I feel like I'm so crazy for wanting this surgery! I picture my self wearing a gown and being wheeled into surgery, and I start flipping out! I'm such a mess! I don't want to tell any of my 2 Friends that know, as I don't want anyone knowing these crazy range of emotions that I'm going through. Don't want anyone to have ammunition to talk me out of it.

I have enough cash to pick the better surgeon. I should stay with who I feel comfortable and in the long run, $1,500 extra in my pocket won't really change things. Maybe I just talked myself into going with the surgeon where I would trust my life in his hands

I guess you have to do what you are doing....weighing your comfort level with the cost. I wish the best in your decision!

Fawn

[Jesser 295]

Dr. Kelly is having a special in April actually. He will price match any other surgeon down there!

[Jesser 295]

I've flip flopped so much with all these surgeons jn Mexico that I feel like I could write an autobiography on every one of them! And their coordinators too! Lol

[AmandaRaeLeo 2,145]

I've flip flopped so much with all these surgeons jn Mexico that I feel like I could write an autobiography on every one of them! And their coordinators too! Lol

I still say we should start up our own business! Lol

Amanda Rae

[condanchri 16]

I was like you, except in the back of my mind I kept thinking Aceves. The money worried me, bit what worried me more was what would happen AFTER my surgery (follow up, piece of mind knowing my sleeve was done in the best possible way, etc.). I agonized over my decision. In the end, I went with Aceves because I just felt I was worth it. Yes he is more $$, and that can't with for everyone. I wish you the best of luck in madding your final decision. I was just sleeved 7 days ago, so message me Iif you have any questions.

[condanchri 16]

Sorry for all my typos!!

[NurseGrace 509]

Sometimes in life we have periods of intense lonelyness. This may be yours.

The question is how much do you need their support? Is your mother your primary means of child care? Are you leaving you child when her when you go? If you are doing this on your own and you are planning on not asking them for anything then I would advice you to proceed with extreme caution and get what you need.

If they are giving you money, or doing you other big favors though... It's a little more complicated.

[Jesser 295]

They aren't giving me any money for the surgery, but I stay here with them for the time being. She will be caring for my son when I go to Mx

[wannabaloser 59]

Another reason that some Doctors are more than others is that the cost of living where they work is more than in another place such as Tijuana. Also Tijuana Doctors are cheaper because there is more competition. Some of the more expensive Doctors are in towns with very little, if any, competition. Also they may be in resort towns where the cost is very high to even fly.

Sometimes there are other factors that contribute to the cost other than experience. You should consider this also. If you are comfortable with a cheaper Doctor don't rule them out because they are cheap. It may be one of those reasons. I am going with Dr. Garcia and I am just as comfortable if not more comfortable with him than with the more expensive Doctors.

[Fawn1120 18]

Dr. Kelly is having a special in April actually. He will price match any other surgeon down there!

Get out of Town!!!!!! I want to go to Dr Kelly! Where did you get that information? Lora? I have planned to have want my surgery April 1st! Seriously, who to I speak with to get that offer??? Do tell!!!

[wannabaloser 59]

Hey Jesser, I looked at your profile and saw we live about 1.5 hours away from each other. I am also having surgery on March 9. We could be sleeve buddies and help each other out! If you went with Dr. Fernando Garcia we could even have our surgeries together. That would be awesome to have someone so close to talk to and maybe even meet.

[KatInFL 216]

I'm so confused right now... I'm having a hard time sleeping at night because all I think about is trying to figure out what I should do. I try talking to my family about it, but they are against me going to Mexico, so every bit of advice they offer to me isn't beneficial one bit. I feel completely alone. Almost to the point that I just want to forget about the surgery all together because it's causing me more stress and I haven't even had it yet! My Mother won't even look at surgeons websites with me so I can talk to her about my options. I know with my son, if he was thinking of doing this I would be researching left and right with him making sure he was content with his choice. She's been this way my entire life though. I don't think I can remember one time where she's told me that she was proud of me or that I was good at something. EVER. So not only do I feel like she doesn't support me in this, I feel like she's not a big supporter of anything that I do. I usually always do things on my own.

Right now I'm torn about which surgeon I should go to. I posted a thread the other night and got a lot of good responses and ideas, but my head is still churning. I don't have much money and going to Dr. Aceves is going to be extremely hard on me financially. I mean, I can manage it, but it would be nice just to plop down the $4500 with Lopez or Garcia and be done with it. But it scares me. I ask myself why does Dr. Aceves charge so much more? True, he's in a full service hospital, but I was told he uses the best equipment, staples, everything. And that he fixes many sleeves from other surgeons due to the sleeve being too large or pouches in it. A part of me wants to just go with him because he has a great reputation and I'm sure I'd get the care I need. But I've also read lots of great things on MiHospital and the surgeons out of there. They haven't done it as long as Dr. Aceves though, and I'm not sure about the care I'd receive at MiDoctor in a life or death situation. I'm just going back and forth...

It's been my experience that sometimes family can't love us in the way we really want them to. It's not that they don't really love us and want the best for us, they just are incapable of giving us what we need. It's ok. It's ok to realize they don't have all (or sometimes any) of the answers, just because they are our family and have known us since birth. And it's ok to realize that sometimes, you just have to chalk it up to finding what you need, in the way of information or reassurance or solace from another source, whatever that is. I hope if you can't count on your family to love you in the way that you need right now, you have others in your life that can do so. Of course, you have us, but I think it's also important everyone have an in-person support system....whether it's one really amazing friend, a significant other, a group of girlfriends...whatever. Figure out who that is for you and let the rest be white noise. You've got to figure out and make the best decision for *you.

As for choosing a surgeon...I made a spreadsheet. I listed prices, coordinators, location, and other stats, as I collected them. I then made a decision about what was MOST important to me (care in a hospital), and worked the rest of must haves..it had to be affordable, (I'd love to have the $$ to spend unlimited amounts, but for *me, I had to stick within my budget), it had to be someone I felt confident about their skills (totally subjective but still on the list for me), and so on. I was then able to narrow down the doctors on my spreadsheet by eliminating those that didn't fit all of my criteria. And honestly, it wasn't that important to me to have a surgeon that had done 6,000 previous sleeves. Education and fellowships and internships with other reputable doctors and institutions outweighed experience for me.

So, given all of my criteria and my personal experiences in conversations/emails/etc, I narrowed it down to a couple of doctors I really liked, then went with the one that I felt the best about.