Why Lie?!?!

[rdoactv 218]

A few select people know that I'm having the surgery. Its noone elses business unless I choose to tell them. If they ask, I will probably say diet and exercise..not a lie, just no details. I feel if they want to speculate, let them. I feel no obligation to divulge any other medical or personal info and they shouldn't feel that I have an obligation to do so.

[AmandaRaeLeo 2,145]

In hindsight I regret telling anyone my choice preop. I'm going to Mexico and still have 8 weeks. The negative feedback is getting to me.

Amanda Rae

[JPSnAZ 33]

I started a thread about whether or not to tell people a while back. At first, I was not comfortable telling anyone at all and wanted advice on what to say when people asked.

After hearing what everyone had to say I totally changed me perspective on it. WHY LIE? Theres no reason to and I would have never known about this option or considered it if it werent for someone I knew having it done and talking about it, so if I can help someone else have this AMAZING life changing opportunity, then why not?

I might feel differently if I worked in a small office (like I did before) where gossip can just go wild but In my situation, I have no one I want to hide it from. Ive actually told all my closest friends and they have all been super supportive and actually excited for me! So no negativity like I was originally scared of.

The more open you are about things, the less people talk crap and gossip.... anyone can just ask you questions rather than assume and make up wild stories of how you got skinny. Thats been my experience anyway!

[Boofster 159]

No one in my department at work knows. In the past two days, two people have come up to me and said, hey, you lost weight, you look good, I can tell. I haven't said much in return, just mention that I'm eating healthier, etc. and before I really get the chance to say anything, they say, well you're doing it the "right" way, at least you didn't have like gastric bypass or anything drastic like that! See the mentality?? And these are not thin women . . . <shrugs>

[Pelekania 156]

No one in my department at work knows. In the past two days' date=' two people have come up to me and said, hey, you lost weight, you look good, I can tell. I haven't said much in return, just mention that I'm eating healthier, etc. and before I really get the chance to say anything, they say, well you're doing it the "right" way, at least you didn't have like gastric bypass or anything drastic like that! See the mentality?? And these are not thin women . . . <shrugs>[/quote']

Said because they will continue to be big with that mentality. Sometimes drastic things are necessary when a persons life is are at stake.

[ebonisekim 1,713]

I have been open but I had my surgery 6 days ago and you be surprised about how many ppl has had it locally when I was doing my pre op testing the lady that was taking blood from me had it and she look amazing then when I went to the hospital to pay my copay the cashier said she had it and it was the best thing that ever happens to her then the day if surgery the chaplain who came to see me said he had the surgery and it was the best thing he's ever done last but less my case manager after surgery came in my room to explain my post op care and she said she had it and had nothing put good things to say its no reason to lie its becoming more normal then not to see and kno that ppl are resulting to weightloss surgery it sure help me knowing these ppl had had it done

[LG1981 111]

I tell people on a need to know basis, but if a came across someone who is struggling with weight, I would tell them.

[Phoenix79 452]

I am a very open book and will tell everyone who asks what I did - I'm pre sleeve right now. I think the only way to change the stigma about WLS is for those who have it to speak up about it- and be very honest about the benefits and challenges. In my experience, if you don't experience something personally, you really don't understand it or know how it feels- whether it's obesity, infertility, death of a parent, sibling, cancer, a chronic illness, etc. I don't want to assume or demand that a person be educated about something that they are not personally involved in. They will just pick up what they know from people around them and the media- no in depth knowledge. For example, I struggle with infertility too, for four years I've had to deal with comments from my Grandmother about when we are going to start a family, don't we want kids, etc. From my cousin I got the typical "well just relax and it'll happen" line. I opened up and told her how I was feeling, how long we'd been trying, what infertility involves, what tests (emotional and physical pain & humilation) we had to go through, what a miracle it is to get pregnant in the first place- everything has to go right at exactly the right time...etc. She was flabbergasted and had no idea some people had that problem...she popped out three kids right in a row. The more we tell people about our surgery- those who want to listen and really want to know, the faster the true face of WLS can be seen in public! Be patient with people and understand that there are a lot of misperceptions out there! Educate them!

[Geminidrive 389]

I am a very open book and will tell everyone who asks what I did - I'm pre sleeve right now. I think the only way to change the stigma about WLS is for those who have it to speak up about it- and be very honest about the benefits and challenges. In my experience, if you don't experience something personally, you really don't understand it or know how it feels- whether it's obesity, infertility, death of a parent, sibling, cancer, a chronic illness, etc. I don't want to assume or demand that a person be educated about something that they are not personally involved in. They will just pick up what they know from people around them and the media- no in depth knowledge. For example, I struggle with infertility too, for four years I've had to deal with comments from my Grandmother about when we are going to start a family, don't we want kids, etc. From my cousin I got the typical "well just relax and it'll happen" line. I opened up and told her how I was feeling, how long we'd been trying, what infertility involves, what tests (emotional and physical pain & humilation) we had to go through, what a miracle it is to get pregnant in the first place- everything has to go right at exactly the right time...etc. She was flabbergasted and had no idea some people had that problem...she popped out three kids right in a row. The more we tell people about our surgery- those who want to listen and really want to know, the faster the true face of WLS can be seen in public! Be patient with people and understand that there are a lot of misperceptions out there! Educate them!

Thank you! I TOTALLY AGREE!!!

[jennyannk73 20]

It is a good thing to educate.... And I do it myself. But no one should feel compelled to share anything personal that they do not wish to.... And just because you choose to have the surgery, you should not lose your right to keep whatever health information you choose, private.

[Phoenix79 452]

It is a good thing to educate.... And I do it myself. But no one should feel compelled to share anything personal that they do not wish to.... And just because you choose to have the surgery' date=' you should not lose your right to keep whatever health information you choose, private.[/quote']

I agree. I do it because I want to and it will help others but in no way should you be made to do something you don't feel comfortable with. Everyone's situation is different. For those who are on the fence about whether to tell folks about surgery, I hope what I said can sway you to talk about it. Plus, it's always hard to remember who you told what to, and things have a way of either getting out anyway or circulating behind your back. Why not have it be on your terms?

[No game 14,436]

I think the weird thing about this thread is that it refers to "lying"

I wrote this on a different thread also;

I really don't think that choosing not to tell "everyone" is out of shame, not loving yourself,

or lying!

We all are just different...people in my life know about it. And yes I've even told a few strangers about it. But it is my choice my decision on who and when to tell and I reserve the right to change my mind about it everyday!

So live on people some like to tell, some don't!

And some of us are all over the place

[Boofster 159]

Still haven't told anyone at work (except one person in HR and one who is another dept and was a band-to-bypass patient at my practice), and will likely keep it that way. It's a very fit and healthy culture (big medical company) and the general consensus here that it's the "easy way out" so it's not gonna happen. No regrets whatsoever.

I did however, disclose the surgery to two people outside of work who I thought might have had WLS surgery, and it turns out they both did. One is the parent of a kid in my son's Scout troop, and another is a former classmate from high school who I am friends with on Facebook. It's nice to talk about it with someone who is going through the same experience and I kind of feel like I'm in a special club.

[*Dean* 1,594]

Well, yes we DO have privacy but if a coworker (who is probably fat too I would guess) asks then I would TELL them the many benefits of WLS. It's your choice but informing other people who may need it is one thing that I look forward to doing. I tell ANYONE who asks and have had at least 2 people pursue WLS because of my openness.

I didn't tell anyone before hand besides my wife and openly tell anyone who asks about it now. And your question is the reason: Why Lie? We openly boast about so many things in our life, kids, work, homes etc, why not boast about the single most beneficial health decision that I have EVER made for myself?

I agree Rootman.

If somebody with a weight problem says to me 'how did you do it?'

I could never be the person that says 'reducing portions, eating Protein first and exercising'

I could never be that person that, in their minds, reaffirms that they're a loser and can't lose weight despite all the attempts they've made.

I have too much empathy for people. I want to be part of the solution for them, not part of the problem.

I know something that can help some people lose weight and change their lives.

I can't not tell them.

[No game 14,436]

I agree Rootman.

If somebody with a weight problem says to me 'how did you do it?'

I could never be the person that says 'reducing portions' date=' eating Protein first and exercising'

I could never be that person that, in their minds, reaffirms that they're a loser and can't lose weight despite all the attempts they've made.

I have too much empathy for people. I want to be part of the solution for them, not part of the problem.

I know something that can help some people lose weight and change their lives.

I can't not tell them.[/quote']

Hey then why did you tell me you were on the

"Slim fast" diet????