My Biggest Fear

[WestTexasGal 15]

My surgery is in 6 days (10/31), so last night I began writing a "Letter to Me" as suggested by my doctor. (Obviously, the purpose is to record the reasons you decided on WLS in case you later have second thoughts or need a bit of motivation to stay on track.)

Writing this letter led me to think about my fears and what I kept returning to was my fear of gaining the weight back. I'm not afraid of the surgery, the pain, or even the drastic changes required in lifestyle and eating choices. I'm not even afraid of not losing weight. I know I'll be successful because I've done it so many times before. What I'm afraid of (we're talking "heart beating out of your chest type fear"), is that I'll gain it all back. (This is certainly exacerbated by the fact that I'm self-pay and having the surgery in the US.)

I'm guessing that I speak for most everyone in their 50's when I say that we've spent much of the past 40 years on one diet or another. And I'm guessing that most of us have had tremendous successes. Those successes are fabulous until they're followed by the inevitable regain, which of course, is followed by doubts and the self-loathing.

I have every intention of following my doctor's orders to a "T", I am optimistic, and frankly excited about this surgery; however, if I'm being truly honest with myself, I'd have to say that in most of my prior weight loss efforts, I had those same feelings. Every single time I was 100% certain that THIS TIME I WILL BE SUCCESSFUL!

Those of you that have fought this battle and are winning (I know it will never be truly "won" and the fight will continue the rest of our lives), what made this experience different? Why did this one succeed when the myriad of other attempts failed? What advice do you have for me? I truly welcome your comments and advice.

[enigmachik 403]

I haven't gotten far enough along to share my success. I can say that I share this exact fear and I'm willing to bet that many, if not most of us on here share that fear. Let's hope that through hard work, and supporting each other we can slay those fears once and for all.

[marearose 2]

I'm a year out and have lost 99 pounds. Your insurance against gaining the weight back will be the tiny size of your new stomach. Unless you graze all day, you won't get enough calories to gain weight back!

[Velena 122]

I share those same fears, as I'm sure many of us do. I've lost 50 lbs since I started with the Pre-op diet and getting sleeved. It's only been since Sept 5th and I'm already wondering if this is all I'm going to lose. My brain tells me that it's obvious that I will continue losing based on the small amount of food I eat now. But the underlying fear is still there. On the plus side, I'm no longer considered to have high blood pressure, high cholesterol and I'm almost off all the diabetes meds. That is the real victory for me.

[MaryDrew 41]

Thanks for being honest. I think most people have this fear, I know I do. I'm 53 and have been big most of my adult life. Succeeded on many diets too but never kept it off. It's awful. Maybe another thing to do is write down all the negatives to being obese. That will remind you in the future of how far you have come and what you don't want back in your life. HUGS.

[takroom 192]

MaryDrew-I think most of us who have Yo-Yo'd in the past have that same fear. Personally, I know that my decision to have WLS was to live a healthier life. Are there going to be struggles along the way? Yes! Am I better prepared me tally & physically? Yes! I have been blessed with a tool that I will have to use the rest of my life. I can say at an early 7 weeks out, I've already lost 32 pounds & feel better than I have in over 10 years.

[Katie713 423]

I guess you could say the proof is in the (sugar free) pudding....

I have lost and regained on every diet I have ever been on usually within 3-6 months, but with the sleeve, the extra element of control, the commitment to myself stronger than ever before, is showing me that it would take conscious effort to suddenly start gaining weight. You cannot eat in quantity any longer, but if you chose to eat the wrong things, then your little but highly caloric diet could lead to gaining.

This is the best I've ever done in my adult life - and with only about 40 pounds left until goal, I know that YES IT WORKS and I am not deprived!!

Lovin my sleeve!! :wub:

[PJ_Sleeve 45]

I, too, have the same fears. I was sleeved six weeks ago and I feel like I am waiting for the big

Binge our how I will manage to gain the weight back our if I will even allow myself to hit my goal. Then I think about all the reasons why I did this in the first place and try to stay positive. I guess we have all failed at diets at one time or another... this is different. This is a permanent life change.

[june13sleever 223]

I am living the fear in real time. While I have been on maintenance for almost two months I feel like the first year I ate so little that now I can eat more and will gain. I still refuse to get on the scale but once a week, but my stomach now isn't the little miracle it used to be. I really have to make the decision whether or not I want to gain it back. I believe it is possible. Lose as much as you can in the beginning...

[dar1983 750]

My biggest fear is not losing the weight/making goal. I was sleeved 4months ago, and have lost 50-53lbs (depending on the scale I use!) . Yeah. I know; be grateful for every pound lost. I am,but I am also so unnerved by the MEGA stalls I have had in these past 4 months. I am damned worried I will never get to goal.

[june13sleever 223]

You gotta shake things up and not eat but like 500 calories

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I had the exact same fear pre-op. I could have written that post except my story is worse - I had already failed with one bariatric surgery (lapband in 2001). I was afraid of regaining PLUS having complications from the surgery - like I did with the lapband.

This was my argument of why I didn't want to give surgery another try. I was talking to my sleep apnea doctor who was the doctor who recognized that my obesity was killing me with the 52 BMI and encouraged me to consider surgery and he made an excellent point. He said well, what IF you do regain half the weight back... or even all of it over 5-10 years? That is still 5-10 years with 100% an improved quality of life - don't you think it would still be worth it? I had to answer honestly - YES!

I am committed to it being different this time. This time it will be permanent. Like you I have made that promise to myself before, but I have to keep trying and I need to believe that this time is different.

[SleeveDreamer 383]

i am 62 and almost 11 months out. There is no way I can eat like I used to. With 85% of your stomach gone, you won't have to worry about it. It's hard to imagine until you start eating regular food and realize how your habits have changed. There is no way you can digest as much food as you did before. Also your taste buds may change a little, and you won't crave things like you did before. Please don't worry about it and take it day by day and yo will be fine. There is no way you won't lose.

[AngelBaby 153]

I have this fear too... LOVE your honesty!! I am just 6 weeks post op and since I could start eating "real foods" again I have been so nervous to try stuff because I'm afraid of going back to my horrible pre op eating habits. I know it sounds kinda lame but I feel more comfortable at this point still having at least 1 Protein Shake a day and I usually also eat some tuna or chicken and cottage cheese or string cheese but like the other posts here said I'm amazed at how little I can eat before I feel full! I'm down 39 lbs so far and feeling great! For the first time in at least 10 yrs my BP is 120s/80s without meds!! and my energy level is fantastic!

[june13sleever 223]

You can't eat like you used to in one sitting, but if there is a will there is a way. You just gotta make sure you lose as much as possible in the beginning and if you notice a gain later on take action immediately.