Discurraged and Depressed

MourningFuneral · September 30, 2006

I had my lap band on july 24th and in my 6 week post op in aug i had lost 21lbs. but since then ive been well eating whatever. its like im so down on myself for doing it but i feel like the band is not working, i mean i didnt expect a merical but i did expect to eat alot less and be full. this is my rutine, mon-fri i work from 5am and do not get home till almost 8pm during the day i have nothing for breakfest or a Cereal bar then lunch is at 12:30 so i eat whatever i bring in a small 2 cup container, i.e. potpie,ec. or i do not eat, then when i get home im starving and since we live with my husbands parents until we find a place we usually just eat what she makes, but instead of one plate i have seconds, then i want cany of some sort then a snack. arghhhhhhhhh. i feel like ive lost this battle like i cant start over again. before i was eating bar for breakfest, steamed veggies and tuna for lunch and dinner would be almost like lunch. but its hard when i dont get paid but every two weeks so when i run out of healthy food i just eat whatevers in there, plus when it comes to weekends i feel hey its ok, have that fast food. sometimes i think im worthless. i feel like im just stuck.:think

GayleTX · September 30, 2006

Have you had your first fill? If you have not, you have no restriction - you have only had the band inserted - it has not yet been made 'operational' by beginning the tightening with fills. The first several weeks are a healing period. After you beginning getting your fills - and sometimes it takes two or three fills - you will feel restriction and will not be able to eat much at all. In the meantime, you need eat by the rules your doctor gave you.

Did your doctor give you any eating guidelines at all or are you just not going by them? The way you are eating is making this whole project very hard. You need to be eating some Breakfast - if you have a hard time eating early in the morning, then you need to drink a high Protein Shake. Protein should be the first thing you do each morning.

Throw out the Cereal bars....they are high sugar, high carbs, and you don't need either of those. They are history!! There are some good high Protein Bars that are very satisfying and good. Eating carbs only makes your body crave more carbs and then you'll be fighting a losing battle all day long.

Pot pie? That's more carbs....the crust is a no-no, the sauce/gravy in the pie is, too. You need to eat solid protein, dense protein - eggs, cheese, tuna, ground beef/turkey. (If you don't know what foods are protein, there is plenty of iinfo on the 'net about foods and what they contain.) If you still hungry after the protein, eat some vegetables or fruit.< /p>

The basic eating rules are: No white carbs (potatoes, rice, Pasta, white breads, white flour). No fried foods. No sweets/desserts. No carbonated drinks (ever). Nothing to drink with or for 1 hour after a meal. After you get your band tightened, this will be easier to do. Also it is important that you drink at least 64 oz of Water (or tea or KoolAid, etc) every day.

Did your doctor require any kind of tests before surgery? Did he give you any food guidelines? Did he refer you to a counselor for depression evaluation? If not, you might want to see if he will suggest someone. You are very young and sounds like you are working hard and under a lot of stress. Don't give up on yourself......You have a wonderful tool inserted in your body....give it a chance to work!

MourningFuneral · September 30, 2006

Have you had your first fill? If you have not, you have no restriction - you have only had the band inserted - it has not yet been made 'operational' by beginning the tightening with fills. The first several weeks are a healing period. After you beginning getting your fills - and sometimes it takes two or three fills - you will feel restriction and will not be able to eat much at all. In the meantime, you need eat by the rules your doctor gave you.
Did your doctor give you any eating guidelines at all or are you just not going by them? The way you are eating is making this whole project very hard. You need to be eating some breakfast - if you have a hard time eating early in the morning, then you need to drink a high Protein Shake. Protein should be the first thing you do each morning.

Throw out the cereal bars....they are high sugar, high carbs, and you don't need either of those. They are history!! There are some good high protein bars that are very satisfying and good. Eating carbs only makes your body crave more carbs and then you'll be fighting a losing battle all day long.

Pot pie? That's more carbs....the crust is a no-no, the sauce/gravy in the pie is, too. You need to eat solid protein, dense protein - eggs, cheese, tuna, ground beef/turkey. (If you don't know what foods are protein, there is plenty of iinfo on the 'net about foods and what they contain.) If you still hungry after the protein, eat some vegetables or fruit.< /p>
The basic eating rules are: No white carbs (potatoes, rice, Pasta, white breads, white flour). No fried foods. No sweets/desserts. No carbonated drinks (ever). Nothing to drink with or for 1 hour after a meal. After you get your band tightened, this will be easier to do. Also it is important that you drink at least 64 oz of Water (or tea or KoolAid, etc) every day.

Did your doctor require any kind of tests before surgery? Did he give you any food guidelines? Did he refer you to a counselor for depression evaluation? If not, you might want to see if he will suggest someone. You are very young and sounds like you are working hard and under a lot of stress. Don't give up on yourself......You have a wonderful tool inserted in your body....give it a chance to work!

I didnt get any guidelines on food, i was just told to not eat high sugar/carb foods. yes it has been hard im going to try to start over tonight *sigh* i was making a grocery list of like string cheese, tuna, cod fish, veggies, fruit,soymilk,crystal light, and those new low fat lunchables that have like ham,cheese,fat free pudding cup(tiny) but i was only going to get 4 of those so like on the weekends instead of going out id get a treat of those like one sat/sun. also i put tofu on my list. i work a desk job for Sprint pcs so i dont do activity and i really dont have any family to help me learn excersise. but i was trying to figure out what good a gym membership would do seeing they close all week by the time i get home unless i go to 24 hour fitness but i do want to get in a pool, and yes i had one fill on my six week post op, 3cc's. i felt like i was full with it for a few weeks then i started getting "golf ball" so it just went away, the fullness, maybe i stretched it. but anyways its not like i dont want to do this cause i do i just wish there was someone near me whom i could go through this with, like a lapband buddy...:straight

jahair · September 30, 2006

Dear Mourning,

I'm sorry this is a hard period for you right now. All of us have to have the showdown soon or later between "head" and "stomach" hunger at some point to get to our goal weight and you are right in the middle of it now. AND you are making it much harder for yourself to be successful , by skipping 1-2 meals every day. You are legitimately starving from no food all day, but your head is telling you when you do finally eat that you deserve a treat since you went without for so long.

How to break this cycle? As an old friend told me....PPPPPP!

Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance.

1. Use pay day to stock up on things that work like breakfast bars or Protein Drinks -- whatever you need to have to get you going in the morning.

2. Buy some food you can keep in your desk, like the tuna pouches or chicken pouches; they even have salmon pouches now. Include the individual cups of applesauce or fruit in light Syrup. You don't even have to leave your desk to have an appropriate lunch when there is nothing to bring from home.

3. I grew up where seconds were always normal at dinner, so I feel deprived if I can't go back again. What's been working for me this time is to use a smaller sized plate and put the proper sized serving on it and eat it with a baby sized spoon (to avoid golfballs). Then I go back and get a tiny piece of the Protein, and it feels like I had my seconds and also like I got away with something.

4. Have a plan for what to do when your money runs out and all there is dear MIL's meals.

5. Forgive yourself when you slip and fall....

If nothing else, be meticulous about Water and exercise of some kind.

It sounds like you are very down in the dumps. If this feeling is persisting for a while AND you keep hearing yourself say or think, "It's hopeless," or "Nothing's going to work for me," these are classic signs of clinical depression and no one has to live with that. Get yourself to a Dr. and tell them candidly how you have been feeling. There may be some trial and error to get the right medication for you, but you can put an end to these hopeless, worthless feelings.

Please check back and let us know how you are doing. LBT is about supporting each other and giving a helping hand over the rough spots.

Hugs,

Jo Ann

CCBSTX · September 30, 2006

I can understand your discouragement. It's also disappointing that your surgeon isn't more helpful regarding things. Please seek support, frequently, either through lapbandtalk, a local support group, or elsewhere. It helps to speak with other bandsters. We all will have ups and downs regarding weight loss.

Once you find restriction, you won't be able to have seconds. However, for most of us, junk still goes down quite nice. Errr....Some people take months to find restriction. It is all very individual.

Take care. Shawn

GayleTX · September 30, 2006

I doubt that you stretched your pouch ....maybe it's just because you are needing another fill. What size is your band? If you got 3 cc's I'm guessing you have a VG. I have a VG and I've had two 3.6 cc fills. The band gets loose as the fat melts away from the stomach so you have to keep filling it....most docs will do it every 3-6 weeks.

Exercise is a real problem isn't it. Especially as heavy as you and I were. I haven't done anything but sit on my butt for about 6 years. A gym doesn't sound practical for you right now with your hours and with limited income. I bought a couple of exercise tapes off eBay and I use them in my room...."walk away the pounds' is a good one for heavier people...also "oxycise' is a real beginner tape. I have gotten to where I can walk a ways now. I have a couple of on-line wls friends who weighed in the 400's and they had good luck with the Tony Little Gazelle (HSN has them on sale right now)....there is a heavy duty version of it that might be safer. Wish I had one!!

You're gonna be okay..... be thankful you had this opportunity while you are young. By the time you are 25, you are gonna be a healthy happy girl with a long life ahead of you.

MourningFuneral · September 30, 2006

I have to say this. you guys have been the most inspiration ive had in a long time. and about depression i do have C.Depression and anxiety i was on zoloft, but like ive said, lack of money = lack of things. but now that im working for the first time in years im getting back on that path. im getting my H.S Diploma Oct 21st and I have decided to go to college in Janurary. I've had alot of trama in my life and i know we all have but i have these moments like i have had PTSD Post Tramatic Stress Disorder from abuse as a kid and have almost all of my family die before i could grow up makes me feel alone and now im know i have a little spot here, and thats nice. i'm sure we all know what its like to be stared at and googled at. i know i have heard the whispers. and for along time i used tough-ness and anger as a release. i will take you up on that and go see another DR. I think i need it now more than ever, I'm hoping tomorrow starts a new. Once again thank you all. and if any of you guys need a good friend, even tho im down, hah i can be a good one. take care <3:D

MourningFuneral · September 30, 2006

OH!!!!! ONE MORE THING! Do you guys know anything good for diabetics to drink, like protien drink? thanks.

sea · September 30, 2006

Try Glucerna (liquid drink for diabetics)

Jachut · September 30, 2006

It can take quite a while to get good restriction, but you know that you must start eating more regularly to knock this night time eating on the head. You simply must start eating a decent Breakfast and make sure you eat a good lunch, perhaps even an afternoon snack to try to stop being so starving hungry at night.

I get the running out of food thing, that happens here too. By the end of the week we are scraping the bottom of the barrell food wise and its when the takeway happens etc. But I've found eating well MOST of the time does the trick.

La_madam · October 1, 2006

Read this..I hope it helps to encourage you

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=9148&highlight=for+struggling+new+bandsters

GayleTX · October 1, 2006

The Necatar drinks are great.....come in lots of flavors. My favorite is Fuzzy Navel (peach). Tastes kinda like Tang only better. It sounds expensive to start with but it makes about 30 drinks and you can mix it with either Water or Chrystal Light (or the Walmart brand of same) ....it is about 25 gr of Protein in a scoop to make an 8-12 oz drink.

Bettina · October 1, 2006

You need to find a support group! Go to ObesityHelp.com and put your city in and you will find one. (ugh get rid of the lunchables--too high in sodium--no one should eat them ever!)

Thru Sprint, you should be able to get help too...call the Health and Welfare dept on Monday and ask them about a dietician and therapist..all free of charge!--its a good thing!

Keep your chin up, recognizing you need assistance is the biggest step and you have already done that!!

All the best wishes to you!

SherryA · October 1, 2006

Mourning....

Have you thought about seeing a nutritionist that is familiar with the lapband?? I couldnt do this without my nutritionist. My surgeon works specifically with two nutritionists, and recommends you go to one of them (or you can go to one of your own choice), but the information and guidance I get is priceless for me.

I cant believe that there are doctor's out there that will basically just put in the band and send you on your way.

Please, you made a courageous decision to have the band placed, you deserve to do this for yourself.

Good luck!

MourningFuneral · October 1, 2006

ok, im going to try to get this done, i woke up this morning and had a plum,toast,eggs. so im on my way. I do feel like i owe it to myself to change.

i mean i almost died getting this band, surgery took 4 hours to do because of my liver being so big and i just get let down easy, but now i know its ok as long as i get this under control. i get paid on friday and im going to buy enough food to last the two weeks till the next check. ill check into protien powder to. thanks. ill keep updating with whats going on. also i am gonna get a scale too. thanks to all.