You Should Really Get Professional Help!

[sramos89 260]

These boards have been a lifesaver for a pre-op's like me to ask questions and seek advice on how others have experienced this surgery and I love it! I want your advice. However, I have been told and I have read where others have been told (frequently) by members on this forum that they should "really get professional help for their issues with food". Can I just say "Duh" to all of those that feel the need to say this. Of course we do and ya know what? So do you! We all do or we wouldn't be in this situaiton. After many failed attempts at dieting I went to a LPC and it didn't help one bit. I just gained more weight and felt like a bigger failure. None of us should be so quick to make a referral for professional treatment. It is the pot calling the kettle black and is not helpful. If you want to be of help, share what your LPC told you about your issues with food and maybe that will help us too!

Thank you!

[*susan* 1,709]

I agree. It took us a lifetime to develop the habits that made us fat. We are not going to be"cured" of them overnight. It takes time to battle these demons. Most of us know what we need to do, we don't need a "professional" to tell us what we already know. We just need a good support system, people who empathize with what we are going through and are willing to listen to us vent when we need to, offer support when we need it and cheer for us when we are doing good.

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[Butterthebean 8,146]

Well....no. Some of us (a lot of us) have surgery and then start eating sensibly. Some don't.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

I have been researching the sleeve, watching videos and reading as much as I can about the the entire experience from many people who have gone through this or are going through this..I was given the okay 24th of August....Now I am working hard to change some of my bad habits before I even start this new life change.....I am finding myself confused more and more..There are so many different vitimins out there and protien drinks and everything.. I don't like artifical sweeteners and have been searching for things without that in them......anyone know any brands that don't include these sweeteners.Am I researching too much...sounds weird just saying that...wish there was one set of rules for all of us...silly to say...

[Butterthebean 8,146]

I have been researching the sleeve' date=' watching videos and reading as much as I can about the the entire experience from many people who have gone through this or are going through this..I was given the okay 24th of August....Now I am working hard to change some of my bad habits before I even start this new life change.....I am finding myself confused more and more..There are so many different vitimins out there and protien drinks and everything.. I don't like artifical sweeteners and have been searching for things without that in them......anyone know any brands that don't include these sweeteners.Am I researching too much...sounds weird just saying that...wish there was one set of rules for all of us...silly to say...[/quote']

There will be one set of rules....your surgeon's rules. Go by those, not what other people are doing. That will take the guesswork out of it for you. If your surgeon doesn't have a complete preop and post op plan for you, look for another surgeon.

But yes, all surgeons seem to have different plans.

[iggychic 1,405]

I've said that...more than once and mostly to the same person.

"can I have Mac and cheese two days out"

"if I blend a pizza is that a liquid three days out"

"I swallowed gum nine days out".

I honestly think that this woman has psychological and emotional issues and I want her to get some help before she kills herself. She's been pushing death since day one. She needs help!

[gustavo52974 369]

These boards have been a lifesaver for a pre-op's like me to ask questions and seek advice on how others have experienced this surgery and I love it! I want your advice. However, I have been told and I have read where others have been told (frequently) by members on this forum that they should "really get professional help for their issues with food". Can I just say "Duh" to all of those that feel the need to say this. Of course we do and ya know what? So do you! We all do or we wouldn't be in this situaiton. After many failed attempts at dieting I went to a LPC and it didn't help one bit. I just gained more weight and felt like a bigger failure. None of us should be so quick to make a referral for professional treatment. It is the pot calling the kettle black and is not helpful. If you want to be of help, share what your LPC told you about your issues with food and maybe that will help us too!

Thank you!

Fist, your failure with counseling is YOUR experience, not everyone else's. I went to a counselor who specializes in weight problems because I wanted to know why I started gaining weight. I thought maybe I was an emotional eater, but that wasn't the case with me. I found out that there are MANY reasons why someone puts on weight, both physical and psychological. I was successful at pinpointing my problems with food, but that doesn't mean I necessarily have to share it with others. Everyone is different and I can't tell people what their problems are--I'm not a licensed therapist. I've already talked about what my problems were and I don't like repeating myself. If you're so desperate to know, read my collected posts.

And I decided to get counseling AFTER reading this forum because I read a lot of different people's stories and viewpoints. I wasn't sure which applied to me. So it was BECAUSE of other people's suggestions on here that I sought counseling and I feel so much better about my own situation.

So to hurl these criticisms at those who recommend counseling is undeserved and a failure of logic. Just because it wasn't helpful for you doesn't mean it couldn't work for someone else. You took a seriously wrong turn there. You shouldn't rely on lay people to give you psychological advice. "Duh!"

You can throw all the nasty posts you want at me now, but I will not read them or any other posts you make, so you probably shouldn't bother.

[*susan* 1,709]

Ahhhhhhh, breathe in, breathe out, deep cleansing breaths...

Don't we feel better and calmer now?

I have to be honest, if anyone had ever suggested to me that I needed/need counseling, I would have been personally offended and probably even angry. I probably would have demanded to know what their credentials are to be telling me I need counseling. Heck, I worked in behavioral health care for 13 years, but even then, I don't feel qualified or confident that I would gain enough information from reading a couple of posts on a message board from someone to recommend they get counseling.

But, that is me and my opinion. I respect your opinions and am happy to discuss them without attacking anyone personally.

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[iggychic 1,405]

Fist' date=' your failure with counseling is YOUR experience, not everyone else's. I went to a counselor who specializes in weight problems because I wanted to know why I started gaining weight. I thought maybe I was an emotional eater, but that wasn't the case with me. I found out that there are MANY reasons why someone puts on weight, both physical and psychological. I was successful at pinpointing my problems with food, but that doesn't mean I necessarily have to share it with others. Everyone is different and I can't tell people what their problems are--I'm not a licensed therapist. I've already talked about what my problems were and I don't like repeating myself. If you're so desperate to know, read my collected posts.

And I decided to get counseling AFTER reading this forum because I read a lot of different people's stories and viewpoints. I wasn't sure which applied to me. So it was BECAUSE of other people's suggestions on here that I sought counseling and I feel so much better about my own situation.

So to hurl these criticisms at those who recommend counseling is undeserved and a failure of logic. Just because it wasn't helpful for you doesn't mean it couldn't work for someone else. You took a seriously wrong turn there. You shouldn't rely on lay people to give you psychological advice. "Duh!"

You can throw all the nasty posts you want at me now, but I will not read them or any other posts you make, so you probably shouldn't bother.[/quote']

Heh heh gustov...I thought I was the bad guy lol. Maybe I'm off the hook for a few mins : p

[sramos89 260]

Hey Gustavo I have nothing nasty to say to you! Infact, I appreciate your post. I have actually read many of your past post and appreciate your advice. My point is that it is frustrating to ask a question on these posts and have certain people who feel "you need therapy to deal with YOUR food issues" is a bandaid answer to any question. I have no problem with therapy at all. I just feel judged when that is the advice I get. That's all. I am sorry if I offended you.

[sramos89 260]

Thank you Susan! That is what I wanted to say and I think you said it much nicer than I did!

Thanks!

[gustavo52974 369]

Heh heh gustov...I thought I was the bad guy lol. Maybe I'm off the hook for a few mins : p

No, I'm always the bad guy. People can attack me all they want, but god forbid I say something that someone doesn't like, I get chastened or chastised. I have found this forum to be extremely helpful and the people friendly and generous of spirit (for the most part). I guess I just get tired of people attacking the forum in general and telling us that we hurt their feelings, or they don't like what we post, or we aren't helpful so they don't want to come back, or we're a bunch of know-nothings for suggesting they get help beyond this forum, god forbid. Isn't there a rule against THAT?

[gustavo52974 369]

And b

Ahhhhhhh, breathe in, breathe out, deep cleansing breaths...

Don't we feel better and calmer now?

I have to be honest, if anyone had ever suggested to me that I needed/need counseling, I would have been personally offended and probably even angry. I probably would have demanded to know what their credentials are to be telling me I need counseling. Heck, I worked in behavioral health care for 13 years, but even then, I don't feel qualified or confident that I would gain enough information from reading a couple of posts on a message board from someone to recommend they get counseling.

But, that is me and my opinion. I respect your opinions and am happy to discuss them without attacking anyone personally.

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By that same logic, because we're not medical professionals we shouldn't tell people about WLS or even suggest it?

[sramos89 260]

I should have also explained the context of the questions as well. The post I saw this morning the OP stated that she had cheated on the medifast diet and someone told her she needed therapy. In my case I said I was a chronic over eater and wanted to know how the sleeve would help me. Both responses were "you need to seek professional counseling to deal with your issues with food." I am not talking about people who are sincerely offering help by saying, "I too had this issue, I saw a therapist and it really helped me. You might want to try that." See the difference? One is not trying to help but offer a blanket judgement and the other is really offering heart felt advice.

[*susan* 1,709]

Again, I don't go around telling people what they do or don't need. If they ask, I am more than happy to share my experience with them. In my new position. I tell people who are interested in getting weight loss surgery the facts, what the benefits of each are, etc. But, when it comes down to making the final decision of if they will have surgery and which one, the final choice is one that is decided between them and their doctor.

Just like on the forums, when people post a question, I try to directly answer in response to what they posted and not read more into it. I don't consider any question to be "stupid", I consider not asking the question to be, though. A lot of people don't have as much access to professional help as others, whether it be due to financial issues, they had surgery out of the country, or whatever. So they come here to seek advice. I comment on those I feel I may have some valid input on, and bypass the ones I don't.

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