Oh, Hi There! So This Is 2.25 Years Out!

[ouroborous 519]

(No pictures this time. I HATE photos; I'm so damned pale and washed out that I always look corpse-like and OLD in my photos, whereas in real life I'm looking pretty damned HOT! )

So I was sleeved in May 2010. It's about two and a quarter years out. I started at 338 lbs.

At that weight, I was miserable. I was sick all the time, everything hurt all the time. No clothes fit properly, unless I just bought everything in tent-like proportions. I had multiple chins, moobs (man-boobs), rolls and rolls of fat around my waist, a fat ass, fat legs, everything. I felt awful. I couldn't walk very far without becoming winded and my feet hurting. I couldn't stand upright for very long without my lower back aching, and my thighs would chafe like I was being scourged by the Furies.

And my self-esteem was just awful. I felt slovenly, ugly, unsexy, unsexual, unmasculine, frumpy, and ashamed all the time. I felt -- fairly realistically -- that no woman would look twice at me, let alone want to take me as a lover. It was okay, though, because I was in a monogamous relationship, so I didn't need to "date." How disrespectful that is to my girlfriend, I can't put into words. But that's a separate issue. That's between us.

Fast forward, past VSG surgery, past two years of steady weight loss, careful eating, ups and downs, plateaus and sharp drops, past fitfully starting and restarting my fitness program, to today.

Now, I work out at the gym almost every day. I like it. I look forward to it. It's how I start my day! It's still challenging, I'm still exhausted, but I look forward to it. I usually lift weights, but some days, like today, are all about stabilizers and athletic performance -- today was focused on speed and agility, on building muscle memory. My trainer agreed with me that I'm still pretty uncoordinated, but also was impressed at how fast I improved; he claimed that maybe, under years of sloth and a sedentary lifestyle, just maybe I was a natural athlete who never developed his abilities! I'm not sure I'd go that far, but I think that I have a lot of potential, and better late than never -- let's leave it at that.

I'm getting ripped. With my shirt off, my chest and shoulders and arms ripple with muscle; they have a lot of that classic bodybuilder look (without that nasty veiny zero body fat/covered in baby oil thing). I realized today, and pointed out to my girlfriend -- that I'm actually developing a six pack. Me! Mr. Fat-ass! Mr. Lazy! A six pack!

I'm down to just a hair over 200 lbs. That means I've lost over 130 pounds, and (more importantly) am maintaining it (and, in fact, am still losing, slowly). At the same time, I'm steadily building muscle mass (contrary to myth, muscle building is slow, but all my measurements show a steady gain). My stamina and energy are the best they've ever been. EVER. Even when I was a kid, and I'm 42 now! My latest testosterone measurement was 611 ng/dL, which is pretty phenomenal. Reference range is 300-800, so this puts me on the high end, about on par with a kid in his 20's; this is just stunning for a man in his 40's, and bodes very well for my continued sexual and physical well being into middle age and old age. It will protect me from injuries, keep me strong and fit, and even boost my mood and libido going forward.

My self-esteem is way up. My girlfriend and I opened our relationship up to other partners (if you want to discuss open relationships/polyamory, I'm available to talk, but please don't post here, that's not the point ), which means I'm dating again. And I'm having FUN! I'm finding that women that I used to consider "out of my league" are now tongue-tied around me. I messaged a woman on my poly-friendly dating site; I thought she was super sexy and probably way too pretty for me, and she responded that she hadn't contacted me because she thought I was out of her league. I mean, holy crap, Batman! Who'da thunk it!

But it's not just vanity. I'm finally, finally, finally coming to accept that I'm a handsome, interesting, attractive, sexy, sexual, masculine man. Along with being wicked smart, with an IQ approaching 200, I'm becoming something of a jock. I'm hiking, bicycling, running, lifting weights, and soon I'm going to start swimming laps at the local pool. I go out to concerts and clubs, I date, kiss, make love, have fun. I'm fit, in shape, and healthy as an ox. Yes, I'm middle aged, so my only regret was that I couldn't have found this when I was 20.

But you know what? I'll take it. I'll take it! This is the life that I think many people wish they could lead. And in a lot of ways, I owe it all to the sleeve!

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

So, your finally starting to live! Congrats! I've missed you on here. Thanks for sharing, this is really important! You have a fabulous transformation!

[ouroborous 519]

So, your finally starting to live! Congrats! I've missed you on here. Thanks for sharing, this is really important! You have a fabulous transformation!

Thank you. Yes, I do feel like I'm "coming back to life" (see the Pink Floyd song of the same name )

And, it is wonderful.

Lost in thought and lost in time

While the seeds of life and the seeds of change were planted

Outside the rain fell dark and slow

While I pondered on this dangerous but irresistible pastime

I took a heavenly ride through our silence

I knew the moment had arrived

For killing the past and coming back to life

[xavtay2 85]

Amazing story and way to go on your weightloss so far! I am so looking forward to living with my sleeve. I have surgery on Sept 10!

[IsB 209]

Great read! I'm both hopeful and jealous. Can't wait until it's me.

[chitowngirl 884]

Awesome !!!!

[SML1997 308]

That's awesome man!!!! Looks like you're living life to the fullest, just like we all should. Congrats to you!! In 4 weeks from today, I wil be sleeved as well. Looking forward to experienceing some of the same things as well. Thanks for sharing.

[Star1221 270]

Jesus Christ... I love this pure "beast" that I coming out of you. You scream confidence. There's nothing sexier than a man who's comfortable with himself. And love the fact your so open. On a personal and sexual level. Congratulations honey. You have a great personality and are a hottie

[Tipintx 41]

Forgive me if I have mistaken you for someone else but - at one time did you mention you had a problem with people touching you?? It would be interesting to interview you - what a testimony of how the sleeve can propel you to new heights! Thank you for sharing.

Sent from my iPad using VST

[Foxbins 625]

I've followed your posts for a while now. I just wanted to say congratulations! Instead of letting the surgery do all the "work" you have seized the reins and made the course changes you wanted. Life is grand, isn't it?

[Caradina 65]

This is an amazing post! I'm so happy for you and can't wait for my own similar post in the future! Thank you for sharing!

[ouroborous 519]

Forgive me if I have mistaken you for someone else but - at one time did you mention you had a problem with people touching you?? It would be interesting to interview you - what a testimony of how the sleeve can propel you to new heights! Thank you for sharing.

Sent from my iPad using VST

You are absolutely correct, I do have a history of touch shyness, and I'm still quite shy about people touching me around my few remaining "trouble areas" (mostly the last bit of skin/fat around my midsection). I'm planning on getting a lower body lift this fall to take care of that (once I've burned the last few pounds of fat off my body), so that should be resolved pretty quickly.

The touch shyness resolved very quickly once I realized that I have a pretty rockin' body these days. I feel like a vain, vain ass for saying that, but, well, it's true. And knowing that makes me far less scared to be touched (and I don't just mean sexual touch, I mean all the wonderful varieties -- from kissing and making out to just cuddling and snuggling and even, oddly, hand-holding). I love touch! I always did; it's just that I used to be too shy to experience it.

[ouroborous 519]

I've followed your posts for a while now. I just wanted to say congratulations! Instead of letting the surgery do all the "work" you have seized the reins and made the course changes you wanted. Life is grand, isn't it?

Yes, it is

My motto: "if there's something about your life that you don't like and you can't change, let it go. If there's something about your life that you don't like and you CAN change, then CHANGE IT!"

[ouroborous 519]

That's awesome man!!!! Looks like you're living life to the fullest, just like we all should. Congrats to you!! In 4 weeks from today, I wil be sleeved as well. Looking forward to experienceing some of the same things as well. Thanks for sharing.

Thanks! Everyone's journey is different, everyone has different experiences. But I would be willing to be that anyone who loses lots of weight, gets much healthier, and starts feeling good about their physical selves is just going to EXUDE happiness compared to before those changes! I bet you'll feel lots of the same things.

It. is. AWESOME.

[Izzy0525 14]

You made me laugh out loud, very good with words! Now I want to read all of your previous post.