Dating With My Sleeve ;)

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

I've done a lot of dating over the last 5 years. I always waited until I was sure we were in a relationship, until I told the guy. It's pretty easy to cover it up, by using all the excuses everyone mentioned here. If I did have to eat with someone, I usually ordered salad. I can eat a lot of salad, because lettuce chews up to nothing.

Online dating can be fun, and it can also be sort of stressful. There are free sites, which are just as good as the paid sites, depending on the area you live in. I found that the same people were on all the sites here.

Plentyoffish.com is a free site. So is okcupid. You can hide your profile and just look at guy's profiles, until you feel ready to drop someone a line, or see if anyone messages you. You can also search as a guy looking for a girl, so get an idea of which kinds of pictures to post, and get the hang of writing an upbeat, cheerful, friendly profile.

obesityhelp.com has a singles forum that's pretty active. Everyone talks about all their dating adventures on there. I enjoy that forum, even though I met my bf from plenty of fish. We've been together for over a year now, and I am done with dating. We are getting married soon.

[JamaicanGirl2011 27]

Thank you all for all this great advice!

Points well taken.

Quick question, what if he orders a glass of wine, how do I politely tell him that I

can't drink? (I did drink before surgery, but I since I have not since surgery,

I am not sure how my tummy will handle it and I don't want to throw up on the first date.)

Any advice/suggestions??

[O.T.R. sleever 3,386]

Thank you all for all this great advice!

Points well taken.

Quick question' date=' what if he orders a glass of wine, how do I politely tell him that I

can't drink? (I did drink before surgery, but I since I have not since surgery,

I am not sure how my tummy will handle it and I don't want to throw up on the first date.)

Any advice/suggestions??[/quote']

If you don't want to drink then I would simply prest yourself as a non drinker or say that you have made a personal commitment not to drink alcohol for a period of time.

If you are concerned about your sleeve, looks like you are 5-6 monts out, a glass of wine won't hurt your sleeve at this point. But be warned, you will be very sensitive to the effects of alcohol.

Before the sleeve I could drink 6-8 mixed drinks and barely feel buzzed. About a week ago I had 2 and had a hard time walking.

I'm about 9 weeks out.

Also you could always buy one of those little bottles of wine (I know not great quality) and try it at home first.

[JamaicanGirl2011 27]

O.T.R. Sleever,

Thank you!

I will try a little wine at home tonight.

The last thing I want to do is embarass myself.

Also congratulations!!

49 pounds in 9 weeks is AMAZING!!

If you don't want to drink then I would simply prest yourself as a non drinker or say that you have made a personal commitment not to drink alcohol for a period of time.

If you are concerned about your sleeve, looks like you are 5-6 monts out, a glass of wine won't hurt your sleeve at this point. But be warned, you will be very sensitive to the effects of alcohol.

Before the sleeve I could drink 6-8 mixed drinks and barely feel buzzed. About a week ago I had 2 and had a hard time walking.

I'm about 9 weeks out.

Also you could always buy one of those little bottles of wine (I know not great quality) and try it at home first.

[keldolbeth 262]

It's funny because I went on a date this week and tomorrow I have plans with some college friends... I'm more worried about the drinking and eating issue with my former roommates than I was on the date. The guy knows I had surgery but not what kind and has been very polite about not prying. He knows I can't drink for a while and this week was our first meal together so of course he wasn't going to say anything.

However, tomorrow I'm worried about the pressure to drink with my friends. We go out to bars with the sole purpose of drinking and dancing. I've heard some of the places we frequent will refuse to serve Water. I've gone out and been DD or sober by choice but I usually have at least 1-2 beers and nurse them all night. Not being able to have a drop is going to look suspicious. Plus, one of the girls just got engaged so I can only imagine how much "toasting" they are going to want to do! lol I was planning on saying something about not drinking due to medications but I found out a friend of a friend is coming also... who is a pharmacist. I really don't want to get hassled about it but I'm not sure all of these women will be supportive and/or not blab it to everyone so I don't want to 'fess up just yet! I'm a little worried and it sucks.

I tend to get defensive in these situations and I don't want to make it a huge issue but I'm committed to the 6 months of no alcohol my doctor wants.

[chitowngirl 884]

As far as the Acohol thing, I was in that situation, and as soon as we arrived at the the bar I went straight to the bathroom, and then I stopped at the bar on the way out and ordered a cranberry juice with heavy ice and a lime. No one questioned me.

[MegInNOLA 531]

If you don't want to "go there" but you also don't want to drink, just order cranberry juice with a slice of lime and plenty of ice. SIP it throughout the night--no big deal. Let it melt down; it will have a few carbs, but it won't be horrible, and it's a lot less acidic than orange juice. Alternatively, and I like this, order a bloody mary MIX--no vodka, just the mix with some lime. These will LOOK like everybody else's drink but won't be bad for you.

Edited to say I should probably read ALL the posts before I answer. :-) But ordering your own cranberry and lime or Tomato juice and lime will solve the problem--especially if YOU go to the bar and order it, who's going to know what's in there or not in there?

[JamaicanGirl2011 27]

If you don't want to "go there" but you also don't want to drink, just order cranberry juice with a slice of lime and plenty of ice. SIP it throughout the night--no big deal. Let it melt down; it will have a few carbs, but it won't be horrible, and it's a lot less acidic than orange juice. Alternatively, and I like this, order a bloody mary MIX--no vodka, just the mix with some lime. These will LOOK like everybody else's drink but won't be bad for you.

Edited to say I should probably read ALL the posts before I answer. :-) But ordering your own cranberry and lime or Tomato juice and lime will solve the problem--especially if YOU go to the bar and order it, who's going to know what's in there or not in there?

Thank you! Excellent suggestion!

[CaliKat 153]

If the bartenders give you crap about ordering a NA (non alcoholic) drink- just tell then you are a few weeks pregnant, smile sweetly and ask for your cranberry juice- I guarantee that will get you NA drinks w/o attitude!

Also- maybe take Water shots instead of real shots. I don't drink but no one has really noticed cause I always slip off and order my own "shot" right before the big toast so I have something to join in with or when they are tossing em back- dump it on the floor quick.

Maybe you even tell one of your friends and have her take all your drinks for you?

[O.T.R. sleever 3,386]

If the bartenders give you crap about ordering a NA (non alcoholic) drink- just tell then you are a few weeks pregnant

Believe me, if you are tipping them properly, they don't give a damn what you are drinking.

[keldolbeth 262]

I meant to update since it was a week ago that I went out with my college friends. lol I survived the entire night without any alcohol! And I suggested Red Lobster for dinner so I knew there would be plenty of decent options for me.

As soon as we got to the bars one of our friends ordered a round of my favorite shot! We toasted, I pretended to sip it because I didn't have a chaser, then dumped it in the trash can behind me when no one was looking. Later I ordered a cranberry juice. The bartender asked if I was DD and gave it to me for free. My friend said "you finally got a drink, now we can toast to your weight loss!" Ha! The irony! At the next bar my friend got a pitcher of Long Island (yes, a pitcher) and gave me a glass. I filled it 1/3 full and pretended to sip. I had taken a little 8oz bottle of Water in my purse, just in case, and ended up going to the bathroom to swap it out. I'm very proud of my commitment and creativity! It's nice to be able to live my "normal" life while also prioritizing my journey!

P.S. I also went to a Cincinnati Reds game this week (I'm a huge fan) and refrained also. I'm a social drinker and love having a beer at functions like that.

[M2G 1,836]

I meant to update since it was a week ago that I went out with my college friends. lol I survived the entire night without any alcohol! And I suggested Red Lobster for dinner so I knew there would be plenty of decent options for me.

As soon as we got to the bars one of our friends ordered a round of my favorite shot! We toasted, I pretended to sip it because I didn't have a chaser, then dumped it in the trash can behind me when no one was looking. Later I ordered a cranberry juice. The bartender asked if I was DD and gave it to me for free. My friend said "you finally got a drink, now we can toast to your weight loss!" Ha! The irony! At the next bar my friend got a pitcher of Long Island (yes, a pitcher) and gave me a glass. I filled it 1/3 full and pretended to sip. I had taken a little 8oz bottle of Water in my purse, just in case, and ended up going to the bathroom to swap it out. I'm very proud of my commitment and creativity! It's nice to be able to live my "normal" life while also prioritizing my journey!

P.S. I also went to a Cincinnati Reds game this week (I'm a huge fan) and refrained also. I'm a social drinker and love having a beer at functions like that.

I am proud of your creativity and committment also! My surgeon's rules were no drinking for 1 year and I did 1 year plus a week so IT CAN BE DONE!!

Now I'm not single and going out to bars but there were plenty of opportunities for ME TO DRINK and I DIDN'T PARTAKE. Now that I'm closer to two years post-op I do enjoy drinking every now and then but it definitely hits me faster than before and I get tipsy after 1-2 drinks. My hubby is also sleeved (16 months post-op) and he says drinks don't affect him like they do me, but neither one of us are big drinkers. It's definitely an occassional and social thing for us.

[MissAwesome 4]

I told most people I know that I had my gallbladder out (which was only half of the truth) and that I had to be on a special diet for a while to help my body readjust to life beyond the gallbladder. So that covers people asking too many questions about my surgery and the eating and drinking thing. Also, most people won't pressure you into drinking on a first date. Most guys dont actually care and trust me, even before surgery, I had a lot of first and second dates. I met my boyfriend of a year and a half on a dating website called okcupid. It is one of few free sites that I found has a low concentration of psychos in the ct, ny, ri area. Good luck! The best time to tell someone about surgery is when you feel comfortable.