Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Convince Me That It Will Be Worth It....



Recommended Posts

I have managed to get myself into the situation of getting a great new job offer (which I need because the place I am working is closing) and approval for surgery on the same day. :) I am trying to navigate this delicately--I can keep my insurance through COBRA and start the new job, but I will need time off about 2 months in for surgery. I have to accept the offer tomorrow and really think I need to be upfront about needing to be off of work so soon after I start. I realize this could put my dream job--and it is a dream job for me--in jeopardy. Besides that, I am really nervous about handling all the stress of a new job and the surgery at the same time--plus I am a single mom. I realize I am facing some tough days ahead if I go ahead with the surgery, and I am freaking out a little. I am currently pushing 300 pounds on my 5'5" frame and have a lot of joint/feet pain that makes it hard to keep up with my toddler.

I really want to do this, but I am scared of everything coming at me all at once. There is a part of me that says just take the job and forget the surgery....maybe you can have it another time.

I am usually pretty strong and can deal with a lot of stress at once, but I think this is really going to stretch my limits.

Anyone else had multiple big stressors during their surgery and recovery time? Do you regret it? How did you cope?

Please convince me that I can do both and it will be okay.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

First congrats on the job offer. I applied for a job right before surgery. I figured it would take awhile for them to set up interviews but they called me for an interview a couple days after. I interviewed the week after my surgery and got it! I was still in a lot of pain. So I had to start my new job less than a month out and navigate goodbye happy hours and meet and greet lunches in my mushie food phase. I Would talk to them about the time off they may be very understanding. I only took off 6 days total. I don't know if the other job is stressful but if it is your dream job you will probably be happier which will make surgery and recovery easier and less stressful I think.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

First congrats on the job offer. I applied for a job right before surgery. I figured it would take awhile for them to set up interviews but they called me for an interview a couple days after. I interviewed the week after my surgery and got it! I was still in a lot of pain. So I had to start my new job less than a month out and navigate goodbye happy hours and meet and greet lunches in my mushie food phase. I Would talk to them about the time off they may be very understanding. I only took off 6 days total. I don't know if the other job is stressful but if it is your dream job you will probably be happier which will make surgery and recovery easier and less stressful I think.

What do you do for a living, if you dont mind me asking. because i want to know how much time i have to take off before going back to work. im new at my job and i can only take maximum of 8 days off but im sure its more like 6 days off. even after the 6 or 8 days, is it ok to go back to work? im a nurse and will be on my feet for most of my 12 hour shift. help:(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hi, i feel u shd talk it with yr prospective employers.u can go back to work after a week.onlything is that u cannot lift heavy things.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Fat2handsome,

I honestly dont want anyone at work to know. I could tell maybe 1 person but she wont be working with me every night u know? Hmmm. Are there any restrictions on bending up or down? I could probably do with the turning of patients. Its not like ill be carrying them on my back. Hmmm... I guess im trying to use every excuse to make sure i get vsg done. Ive been waiting a year. If i dont do it now ill nvr have the balls to do it later. Also, i dont want to waste anymore time being this depressed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

First congrats on the job offer. I applied for a job right before surgery. I figured it would take awhile for them to set up interviews but they called me for an interview a couple days after. I interviewed the week after my surgery and got it! I was still in a lot of pain. So I had to start my new job less than a month out and navigate goodbye happy hours and meet and greet lunches in my mushie food phase. I Would talk to them about the time off they may be very understanding. I only took off 6 days total. I don't know if the other job is stressful but if it is your dream job you will probably be happier which will make surgery and recovery easier and less stressful I think.

Thank you for that. I didn't even thing about the getting to know you lunches and such, but I would probably be through that before surgery. I do human resources, and the new job is a human resources manager at a local factory. It is a desk job, so maybe I can just take a week off.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What do you do for a living, if you dont mind me asking. because i want to know how much time i have to take off before going back to work. im new at my job and i can only take maximum of 8 days off but im sure its more like 6 days off. even after the 6 or 8 days, is it ok to go back to work? im a nurse and will be on my feet for most of my 12 hour shift. help:(

I have a desk job so no heavy lifting. The hardest part was sitting in one position for so long, I would get uncomfortable. I was restricted to lifting only 15lbs in the first 2 weeks after surgery so you may not be able to lift and turn patients that quickly after. Talk to you surgeon about it. I think the 12 hours shifts will be ok as long as you always have something to sip with you and take some breaks. Just make sure you get all your Protein or you will be exhausted. Bending over was the only thing that was still uncomfortable until about 6 weeks out but it was tolerable.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you for that. I didn't even thing about the getting to know you lunches and such, but I would probably be through that before surgery. I do human resources, and the new job is a human resources manager at a local factory. It is a desk job, so maybe I can just take a week off.

I have a desk job also. Sitting in one place was uncomfortable but I would try to get up and walk around every hour or two. I also went for a walk on my lunch break. I have seen people on this board that have gone back to work after just 3 or 4 days. Every person is different. I had scheduled off 2 weeks but came back early because I was feeling good. The most important thing will be getting in your fluids and Protein. Just always have something to sip on your desk!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would advise you not to tell them. You are having the surgery as a medical necessity, not because it is cosmetic. I would accept the job, get trained, then tell them a week before the surgery that I needed to be excused for at least three weeks due to a medical emergency. Another suggestion would be to delay the surgery for a few months so that you could allow your employer to recoup the profits they loss in recruiting you.

Also, after surgery, unless you have a desk job or your job allows for limited duty, I would not advise going back to work immediately. You do need time to heal and will not be able to lift anything for about four months.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You have to do what is best for you and your family. I agree with the post above that I would take the job and treat it as a private medical situation. If they can't hold the position for you while you are out, then you should be able to apply for unemployment benefits based on your other job ending due to the business closing. You are so close to the surgery so if at all possible, don't delay having surgery for anything or anyone. It will be the best decision you make in your life.

I wish you all the best. Keep us posted on what you decide to do.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would tell the prospective employer. They put a lot of time, money and effort into finding employees. I agree that possibly putting off your surgery by a month or two might be best for both of you - or for you to start after you have healed.

Being honest is the best policy. I've hired people that told me up-front about planned vacations, etc. that were to take place within their first month with me. I'm always good with that provided I have the coverage. I never mind my employees taking time off - as long as everything is covered - I'm 110% good with it. If I had a prospective employee coming in telling me about having WLS - I would actually like that - as I know that them being in good health keeps my insurance preimums lower!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, I accepted the offer today and felt comfortable enough to ask about time off for surgery. He didn't miss a beat....he said, "sure..you just let us know when and how long you need off." I didn't tell him what kind of surgery, and he didn't ask. I am so relieved and EXCITED. My dream job and I can still go ahead and have the surgery! :D My gut told me that I needed to be 100% honest up front or I would worry about it forever, and I am so glad I was. He even told me that there was no need to take the time off as unpaid--as I had suggested--because I would qualify for Short Term Disability. I am totally blown away! My tentative surgery date is July 23, and my back-up date is August 6. I feel so blessed. Thank you everyone for your suggestions and support.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That is awesome! And it is nice to hear a story with a happy ending, especially after watching 2 season finales tonight! :angry:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×