Ex still hanging on

"Just" Paul · August 14, 2006

Everyone ready for the guy opinion again!?!?

He is a shit. This guy is a user, and he is using you for his cushion between his little hotties. He is hoping you get fitter, because he feels he can then have his cake and eat it too.

You need to tell him to F@#@$ off. He is toxic to your success, and like a cancer, he will eat away at you and eventually drive you down a spiral.

Funny thing is, that guys like this don't even realize they are doing it. It is not intentional, it is his nature, and you need to avoid that nature at all costs.

He is not a friend that you need, right now or ever. There are other friends out there. Tell him flat out to "bugger off".

Cut this tie before it strangles you.

Just a guy's opinion. No defending this one.

dotofoz · August 14, 2006

I tend to think you should just go "cold turkey". If he didn't want you then, then why now (especially after you're looking good....hmmm sounds suspicious to me). I guess I've just been burned too many times myself and hate to see someone else get burned also. I agree, it seems he's using you 'til something else comes along. His loss! Ditto, what goes around comes around! After many years of therapy, I learned the hard way that the best revenge is happiness!!!!!

Poster child · August 15, 2006

Thanks Paul, Jack and dotofoz! I agree with all your responses. i feel so much better 'talking' about it. I am grateful to you all!!

Poster child · August 15, 2006

One more thing...he is toxic to my success. I lost about 40 lbs a couple of years ago and he begged me to stop losing weight. he was against me getting the band. Imagine that?? I am much smarter now.

"Just" Paul · August 15, 2006

You're better off without him!

Kudos on your successes... onto the future!

Goannabanda · August 15, 2006

Good luck Jen, in your recovery from this recurring toxicosis...

Sorry for the immediate pain that you are feeling as you make a new path for yourself, but as you know, you will feel better about the situation in the long run, and I am sure that you'll find a new best friend who will be worthy of your love, loyalty, and hand in marriage... ...you've always got your LBT family for support at any stage!

barbara465 · August 15, 2006

He uses you because he can. You are the only one that can stop him. He is not "doing" anything to you. You are allowing it. You know what you need to do. Making that final break is hard, but you must for your own health. Tell him NO in words that he can and will understand. Unfortunately, no friendship is possible with him.

Not trying to be harsh, uncaring, or mean. Just trying to let you know that you have the power. Use it.

Good luck to you.

Poster child · August 16, 2006

I agree with you, Barbara. I've thought very hard about it and I know I am the one who just has to say no more and move on. I haven't responded to his e-mails for the past week and have actually deleted them. I feel good turning on the computer not worrying what's on the other side of that message. Many thanks!

"Just" Paul · August 16, 2006

way to go Jen!

NJChick · August 17, 2006

IMHO, A life time with some one like that would be torture (if it looks like a snake, slithers like a snake, then it is a snake). He is definitly playing you.... I went out with a guy like that and I can only say THANK GOD!!! I was one of the lucky ones and strong enough to get away from his BS.

Run like the wind.. there will others... promise !!

NJChick · August 17, 2006

Wtg Jen !!!!!

VelvetKiss · August 17, 2006

Way to go! Cutting ties is the best thing you can do for your self. It will hurt now, but I promise there will come a time when you will feel so relieved that he is no longer apart of your life. I just went through this situation a few weeks ago, cutting out a man who had been doing the same thing to me for 5 years and I finally said I have the power to STOP this toxic relationship and he too was not happy about me getting the band, but yet only dated thin women, so I feel your pain, trust me it gets easier with each deleted email and each non returned phone call.

CCBSTX · August 18, 2006

I agree with the rest of the posters. Don't allow any contact or "hope" on his part. He'll have to call someone else to handle his crisis. "You can't talk." Keep walking on your path to success and health. Find happiness in your life and your time will come.

Good luck. Shawn

nutmeg1965 · August 18, 2006

This is a smart group of people. I like their advice. Another thing to remember is that you are giving him power over you by reacting to his behaviors. Just by walking away, not answering him, not returning emails, he will get the message that you are not going to "play" anymore. Its anticlimatic but it works and its more peaceful than big dramatic blowups. Good luck. Besides, once you get used to feeling independent and free, it will be hard to give that up. When you do, it will be for someone worth it. I like the idea that someone implied when they said he should fix the problem. Maybe not in this relationship, but when you are looking for the next potential Mr. Right. Find someone who will put as much effort into the relationship as you do. Not someone who makes messes and won't clean up after himself. Best wishes. Meg