I Disagree With You But...

[BABEwiththePOWER 16]

Just told my dad that I finally have a surgery date - (APRIL 2nd whoo hooo) - and his response was "oh, you're actually going to do it?"

wow.

He said he didn't agree with what I was doing, but he'd support whatever makes me happy. His whole argument is why permanently change something in your body that's part of a system you use every day? It's not like removing tonsils or a gallbladder that you don't need, but part of a vital organ that you use all the time.

I get it. he's concerned. I just don't want to get into a back and forth with him, or any of my family for that matter, but I feel like I could use some helpful soundbites that worked for anyone else as they were telling friends and family they were going through with VSG.

Any suggestions?

thanks =)

[Lissa 2,631]

Well, first of all, you can disagree with someone and still be friends. Ask me how many years it took me to learn that! LOL

Secondly, your stomach is not necessarily a "vital organ". You CAN live without a stomach completely, perhaps with alternate feeding methods, but don't sweat the pesky details. The sleeve gastrectomy has been done for years and years as a treatment for cancer, ulcers and other stomach issues. My late mother in law had one because of stomach cancer. It is a safe and well-researched operation.

Thirdly, your current stomach has either been stretched out, or is larger than the stomach of other people because you can and do eat more than others. It contains a hormone called ghrelin which causes hunger feelings, and larger stomachs produce more ghrelin, causing you to eat more and gain weight. What the doctor will do is remove the part of the stomach that produces ghrelin, which keeps you from feeling as much hunger and restricts the amount of food you can eat. This will automatically lead to weight loss in the short term and will, hopefully, give you some time to learn how to eat more normally.

Fourth, having this surgery will help eliminate or prevent co-morbidities which could shorten your life. No parent wants to see their child die young, so this should be the deciding factor for your father.

Good luck!!

[Lissa 2,631]

BTW, I personally stuck to one "sound bite": "My doctors have told me that I will die within a year if I don't get some of this weight off of me NOW." It was pretty effective about shutting up even the most determined nay-sayer.

[BABEwiththePOWER 16]

Lissa, thanks for your advice. I have said all the above to my dad and others, but my problem (or lack of) is that I don't actually have any other issues at the moment other than my weight. Granted, I have sore joints, and depression, but no high blood pressure, diabetes, cholesterol, sleep apnea, etc. I'm just 32, a mother of 2 small kids, and miserable with how I look and feel. I've lost the weight before (when I was single and on diet pills going to the gym 2 hours a day), and I've tried every diet and cuckoo program out there since. I'm 130lbs overweight, so it's definitely an issue though. My mom is overweight, and she's a miserable person. I love her, but she's generally unhappy most of the time, and she attributes that to her weight. I told my dad I'm doing this NOT to become my mom. She has no co-morbidities, but she's depressed, has bad feet/knees, etc.

Anyway, he didn't understand why a generally healthy person would do this to themselves...

[Lissa 2,631]

I posted this earlier, but I'll paraphrase it for you (and your dad). I have been heavy most of my adult life, gaining a few pounds a year. But, I've been mostly healthy with no major problems. Until last May, when I got pneumonia and ended up in the hospital, which started a roller coaster ride of co-morbidities. Within three months, I was on oxygen, coumadin for blood clots, was dx with rheumatoid arthritis, borderline diabetic, etc. The list was as long as my arm and then I was hospitalized a second time for the blood clots, which threw two pulmonary embolisms into my lungs. Between May and August, I was told to prepare to die three times. My doctors told me I wouldn't live another year unless I got the weight off me fast.

I'm not looking for sympathy by posting all of that, just telling you that you can be perfectly healthy one day and practically on death's doorstep the next. When the problems hit, they hit with a vengeance. I was lucky that I didn't die from the pneumonia or from the pulmonary embolisms. It was almost too late for me to have WLS when I finally decided that I had to do it. Because I had all those other problems, instead of "just" being sleeved, I had to have two more operations in order to have the sleeve done.

Nobody knows how much time they have left, but I was determined to give my body a fighting chance at living. I hate to see you put it off, although it sounds like you've made up your mind already. If you're ready and want to take this weight off now, this is an amazing tool to help do that. And, I hope that it will save you from having to go through what I've been through.

[LGoz 4]

Your choice is going to save and change your life. Sorry you have to defend your decision. You need to do what you need to do. Doing that was an issue I have had for a very long time. I finally said it's time for ME and I need to put me first.. By the way ... I'm almost wks out and SO HAPPY!! take care and good luck

[AnaBanana 63]

I posted this earlier, but I'll paraphrase it for you (and your dad). I have been heavy most of my adult life, gaining a few pounds a year. But, I've been mostly healthy with no major problems. Until last May, when I got pneumonia and ended up in the hospital, which started a roller coaster ride of co-morbidities. Within three months, I was on oxygen, coumadin for blood clots, was dx with rheumatoid arthritis, borderline diabetic, etc. The list was as long as my arm and then I was hospitalized a second time for the blood clots, which threw two pulmonary embolisms into my lungs. Between May and August, I was told to prepare to die three times. My doctors told me I wouldn't live another year unless I got the weight off me fast.

I'm not looking for sympathy by posting all of that, just telling you that you can be perfectly healthy one day and practically on death's doorstep the next. When the problems hit, they hit with a vengeance. I was lucky that I didn't die from the pneumonia or from the pulmonary embolisms. It was almost too late for me to have WLS when I finally decided that I had to do it. Because I had all those other problems, instead of "just" being sleeved, I had to have two more operations in order to have the sleeve done.

Nobody knows how much time they have left, but I was determined to give my body a fighting chance at living. I hate to see you put it off, although it sounds like you've made up your mind already. If you're ready and want to take this weight off now, this is an amazing tool to help do that. And, I hope that it will save you from having to go through what I've been through.

wow. that's scary. how did your surgery go with all those problems with pneumonia and blood clots etc?

[Lissa 2,631]

Ana, *I* am the poster child for VSG, IMO. My surgery went fine, no complications and I've had amazing increased energy since being sleeved. I've lost 81 pounds so far. I could barely walk from my front door to my car pre-op, and I've slowly built up to walking 2 miles on the treadmill at a slow pace. A few days ago, I cut down 4 small trees in my front yard, cut them to size, and bundled them for trash collection. I'm down three pants sizes and my labs are great, except I'm still on meds for blood clot issues. Technically, I'm still obese, but I WILL make it to my goal.

This surgery saved my life. I may not say it in so many words, but it did. And, VST helped me make that life-changing decision. I try to pay back/forward the help and encouragement I got before my surgery.

[BABEwiththePOWER 16]

Lissa, thanks so much for your candor and insight. I totally hear you about how your health can change overnight...good point. I'm glad your surgery was a success and you're on your way!

I know I will have the support of my family, and my friends. And, I know I'm very fortunate for that, as Ive read in here many times that thats not always the case for people going through VSG. It's just a bummer to know that some may still disagree my choice... Oh well. It's not about them, right?!

[Lissa 2,631]

In It, You are totally right! This is all about YOU. Your health, your welfare, your life expectancy and well-being. Whatever it takes to get you healthier, you should do. Imagine the results for your (future?) kids of having a healthy parent who can teach them how to avoid the pitfalls of obesity!

[ATeam 38]

I actually like to look at it like a gall bladder. My stomach didn't work for me. It was always hungry and always craving carbs foods because my grehlin levels were out of whack. Be ause it no longer worked for me (much like a bad gallbladder) I had it taken out.

We have been prosecuted against our whole heavy lives, and made to feel lesser, and then we get judged for helping ourselves with surgery. It's so hard, but know that it's you body, and you are taking care of a true medical problem: obesity. It's a deadly disease. A cancer patient would get chemo, why wouldn't you save your own life?

[AnaBanana 63]

so glad your surgery has been a success Lissa! What a gift you have been given (we all have) to extend our lives and live them in less pain and an increase in happiness on all levels (physical, emotional ...)

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

Tell your dad that there are a lot of us who wish we had the surgery at a young age like you. I wasted so many years being miserable because I was fat.

[Shoppingbeemom 31]

You're young and thats a great time to have this surgery before your body is compromised by many health problems. I'll ask you this, Do you change your oil in your car or do you wait until you need a new transmission because you let it go? The same thing can happen to your body. Do you want to wait until your children are older, and you have missed out on all the play time ( because your just too tired to run with them )or give them the new improved eatting habits you will have gained because of the surgery? I understand the the fear of having any surgery, especially because you're a mother ( I am a mother of 6, My oldest 23, my youngest 3 ). In my life I wanted the health and energy so I can be just as active with my youngest as I was with my oldest. I want to see life 20 years from now with vitality. I just saw one of 2 futures. Me sitting at one of my youngest daughters wedding receptions tired of the day because of all the weight I've gained up to that point, or me dancing and looking good in a pretty dress. When I had the surgery I was just obese (bmi of 32), but I was gainning and I didn't see it getting any better in the future with out surgery. After all, who would have surgery if they could get the weight off and keep it off? I got some guff because I was not bigger and I decided to have the surgery, Now I can laugh, because they were wrong. My life, my family's life is better. I'm not at "normal" weight yet. but I feel so much better! It was one of the best discisions I have made. Best wishes

[Vance_ 217]

Although my father wasn't opposed, my reason for having the sleeve was so I could be around to raise my 3 children. If he was opposed before, he wouldn't have been after I said that. Congrats on your decision! It was the best decision I have ever made.