Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

Ok so I went to this party last night and saw a group of women I haven't seen in awhile. One has not seen me at all since my weight loss. She didn't speak to me at first and I was kinda upset b/c we had a falling out when I was considering surgery more than 1 1/2 ago and haven't spoken since. Then she came up to me and said she didn't know who I was until she asked and that I look great. She is a big girl like I was and told me she's jealous and was going to look into the surgery for herself. Lol. But said it in a nice way!! The second girl I saw hates me now!! She's not very big but has put on some weight and I used to be so much bigger than her! She wouldn't talk to me and gave me the fakest smile and laugh I've ever heard. Can't stand people like her!! And the last has seen me as she works at Walmart which I frequent but has never mentioned my weight loss before. She told me I looked good but I took the "easy" way out. I put the biggest smile on my face and said yep I did and 150 lbs later I feel great. Easys awesome!! Lol! She is also obese. Now I know this isn't easy but heck if that's what you want to think go ahead. It was a hell of a lot EASIER than being hungry all the time and doing good for a week before getting so hungry I ate everything in the house. It amazes me how different these womens reactions were!! The first one pleasantly surprised me as I was upset we had fought about the surgery. The woman with the chip on her shoulder pisses me off because she always used to moan about losing weight and how thin she used to be. Can't other people get healthy too?? Or do you have the monoply on that? And the last cracked me up with her ignorance. And how she gave me a compliment and then boom there's the catcher "easy way out" do you walk when u can drive? Do u sew your own clothes when you can go to the store? Do u churn cream into butter??? Didn't think so. I am happy with my weight loss and the sleeve has given me back my life. Actually ya know what?? It has given me a life. I was never thin, never healthy, never happy. And if I can help one person who believes its hopeless like I did I will gladly take the insults!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You do know that all three are jealous of you, right? The "easy way out" woman is the worst of the bunch! She KNOWS it wasn't easy, but she can't admit that or she'd have to face her own demons about food.

You did right, just smile and be agreeable and keep on rockin' that sleeve!!! :) You go girl!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Women can be really catty with each other. I've never understood this, as I've always been under the "stick together" umbrella. I guess I just don't let the envy we can feel lead my emotions. Of course, its natural to feel jealousy in some ways... but for me I use that as a catalyst to emulate that rather than allow it to turn me into a mean nasty person. ;)

The easy way out... sure. I admit yes, this surgery though the first few months were close to torture it HAS been easy. Easier than NOT having it, but so what? What's wrong with that? I always ask them that. Why WOULDN'T I take the easier route? Then I always follow it up with, and I'll keep it off too and smile. :) Have a great day!! Now go have your cookie.

Be blessed. You have given one out of three hope - even if it is all wrapped up in ugliness. If you have helped and given hope to even one, it was worth it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I get it all the time. Now people are saying, "You're getting too skinny." or "You need to stop losing weight." I'm like, can you mind your damn business, please? Keep doing you, girl! You look fabulous!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You know what? I can't wait for someone to approach me like those women did yo u! I hope I can remember what you said, "

Do you sew your own clothes when you can go to a store? Do you walk when you can drive? Do you churn cream into butter?" You couldn't have put it in to better words! THIS IS NOT THE "EASY" WAY OUT! Would any person in their right mind choose surgery if they could fix it on their own???!!! I don't believe so! Good for you and keep on standing tall.....YOU DESERVE IT!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

From a guy's perspective, it's unfortunate but this behavior isn't isolated to women. I met up with a close friend a couple of weeks ago to watch a football game and he mentioned that it looked like I had dropped quite a bit of weight. I explained about my surgery and I could sense that his attitude instantly changed. The rest of the game he was a bit stand-off-ish and since that day, I've tried a few times to get in touch but I've not heard a word from him. He's gained a LOT of weight in the past few years and I kinda feel like maybe he's pissed, jealous, etc. that I'm not part of the 'fat fraternity' anymore. It's sad.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Women can be really catty with each other. I've never understood this, as I've always been under the "stick together" umbrella. I guess I just don't let the envy we can feel lead my emotions. Of course, its natural to feel jealousy in some ways... but for me I use that as a catalyst to emulate that rather than allow it to turn me into a mean nasty person. ;)

The easy way out... sure. I admit yes, this surgery though the first few months were close to torture it HAS been easy. Easier than NOT having it, but so what? What's wrong with that? I always ask them that. Why WOULDN'T I take the easier route? Then I always follow it up with, and I'll keep it off too and smile. :) Have a great day!! Now go have your cookie.

Be blessed. You have given one out of three hope - even if it is all wrapped up in ugliness. If you have helped and given hope to even one, it was worth it.

I agree!! I have never understood it either. What's odd to me is the women that have been most supportive and congratulated me are the naturally thin women who have never had a weight problem. Or you get the people who tell you congrats how did you do it and as soon as you tell them you can sense them pulling back and the weight loss is suddenly not that impressive. I have never been one to lie. Some chose to say Portion Control and exercise which I could understand because of attitudes towards wls but I'm honest about it. I never want someone to think well damn if they could just cut down and lose why can't I. It wasn't that easy for me which is why I chose surgery.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You do know that all three are jealous of you, right? The "easy way out" woman is the worst of the bunch! She KNOWS it wasn't easy, but she can't admit that or she'd have to face her own demons about food.

You did right, just smile and be agreeable and keep on rockin' that sleeve!!! :) You go girl!!!

Thank you for your support!!! Jealousy from women is something so foreign to me I sometimes have trouble noticing it but its been happening and it makes me very uncomfortable. Part of me was comfortable being fat because I wasn't a threat. No one noticed me. I was just the big girl. Now I stand out more which is funny because I've lost a whole person!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You know what? I can't wait for someone to approach me like those women did yo u! I hope I can remember what you said, "

Do you sew your own clothes when you can go to a store? Do you walk when you can drive? Do you churn cream into butter?" You couldn't have put it in to better words! THIS IS NOT THE "EASY" WAY OUT! Would any person in their right mind choose surgery if they could fix it on their own???!!! I don't believe so! Good for you and keep on standing tall.....YOU DESERVE IT!!!

Thank u!! And it will happen one day and I hope you put them in their place!! Lol! You are totally correct. If I could have lost it the "natural" way I would have. But food is complicated and I needed our wonderful tool.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I get it all the time. Now people are saying, "You're getting too skinny." or "You need to stop losing weight." I'm like, can you mind your damn business, please? Keep doing you, girl! You look fabulous!

Thank u so much!! And actually my pic is from 3 months out I had lost 50 lbs I have to update it. 100 lbs more than that now and I look really different!! Lol. And yes I have been getting that too. Isn't it frustrating?? You didn't say anything when I was getting fat but now that I'm trying to get healthier you wanna speak up?? Puhleezz!! Ridiculus. I started at 304 and my goal is 140. I'm 157 now so when people say that I explain my bmi won't be healthy til at least 150 and the range is 125-150 for my height. Most people trust doctors so that usually shuts them up. But if I want to be a little mean and mess with them ill say oh I have at LEAST 60 more lbs to go and then they will ask me how much I weigh now. I tell them and they will start doing the math and look horrified as I walk away laughing!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank u so much!! And actually my pic is from 3 months out I had lost 50 lbs I have to update it. 100 lbs more than that now and I look really different!! Lol. And yes I have been getting that too. Isn't it frustrating?? You didn't say anything when I was getting fat but now that I'm trying to get healthier you wanna speak up?? Puhleezz!! Ridiculus. I started at 304 and my goal is 140. I'm 157 now so when people say that I explain my bmi won't be healthy til at least 150 and the range is 125-150 for my height. Most people trust doctors so that usually shuts them up. But if I want to be a little mean and mess with them ill say oh I have at LEAST 60 more lbs to go and then they will ask me how much I weigh now. I tell them and they will start doing the math and look horrified as I walk away laughing!

LOL you just cracked me up!! biggrinjester.gif Thanks for the laugh! Cheers girlie you've done it. You're within pounds to where you want to be, if anyone else can't be happy for that, well they can just go kick rocks. BTW... picture updates!! I loooveee to see those. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

women are amazing. One of my closest friends continues to tell me how she eats M&M's all day, has one big meal, and grazes though out the day and has lost 7 lbs. I am astonished at her unhealthy eating habits with high carb intake. And yes, since I've know her, she has gone up 3 pant sizes. When I told her i was going to have this surgery, she told me I didn't need it. It got to the point where I don't feel safe sharing with her about anything personal. So I don't. I do get frustrated when she talks about how wonderful she is with her weight loss. Then again, my world is all about me and I love it....

To all of you, keep up the hard work,,, we have given up alot to be here. I had a taco from Taco Bell because I was craving it and I hated the Taco...... Feels good.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am glad I have chosen not to talk about my surgery. It is very personal to me. I have been told to my face others are trying to guess what has happened. They are going to talk either way. I would rather not talk to them about it.

I am shocked at people's rudeness. I would NEVER flat out ask people if they had this surgery. And yes people have been loud and rude asking at my job, grocery store, gas pumps, etc. I mean LOUD. I would consider it as rude as asking someone how much they make. There are enough people who are willing to share their surgery...I don't have to and I really don't want to be open with it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Girl don't pay them any attention!!! I refuse to be bothered with that negative energy! Too happy, too content and too blessed to bothered with folks like that! I do not understand people like these women and never will!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CELEBRATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok so I went to this party last night and saw a group of women I haven't seen in awhile. One has not seen me at all since my weight loss. She didn't speak to me at first and I was kinda upset b/c we had a falling out when I was considering surgery more than 1 1/2 ago and haven't spoken since. Then she came up to me and said she didn't know who I was until she asked and that I look great. She is a big girl like I was and told me she's jealous and was going to look into the surgery for herself. Lol. But said it in a nice way!! The second girl I saw hates me now!! She's not very big but has put on some weight and I used to be so much bigger than her! She wouldn't talk to me and gave me the fakest smile and laugh I've ever heard. Can't stand people like her!! And the last has seen me as she works at Walmart which I frequent but has never mentioned my weight loss before. She told me I looked good but I took the "easy" way out. I put the biggest smile on my face and said yep I did and 150 lbs later I feel great. Easys awesome!! Lol! She is also obese. Now I know this isn't easy but heck if that's what you want to think go ahead. It was a hell of a lot EASIER than being hungry all the time and doing good for a week before getting so hungry I ate everything in the house. It amazes me how different these womens reactions were!! The first one pleasantly surprised me as I was upset we had fought about the surgery. The woman with the chip on her shoulder pisses me off because she always used to moan about losing weight and how thin she used to be. Can't other people get healthy too?? Or do you have the monoply on that? And the last cracked me up with her ignorance. And how she gave me a compliment and then boom there's the catcher "easy way out" do you walk when u can drive? Do u sew your own clothes when you can go to the store? Do u churn cream into butter??? Didn't think so. I am happy with my weight loss and the sleeve has given me back my life. Actually ya know what?? It has given me a life. I was never thin, never healthy, never happy. And if I can help one person who believes its hopeless like I did I will gladly take the insults!!!

I am so proud of you! You are a wise woman! That is a great attitude to have. Don't let others pull you down with their bad attitudes. I love taking the easy way - automatic washers and dryers for my clothes, refrigerators and freezers for food storage, buying soap rather than making ot over the fire, and all the wonderful ways we have of communicating with each other rather than writing letters with fountain pen. I tried all of the "hard ways" to lose weight before - and they didn't work.

Thank u so much!! And actually my pic is from 3 months out I had lost 50 lbs I have to update it. 100 lbs more than that now and I look really different!! Lol. And yes I have been getting that too. Isn't it frustrating?? You didn't say anything when I was getting fat but now that I'm trying to get healthier you wanna speak up?? Puhleezz!! Ridiculus. I started at 304 and my goal is 140. I'm 157 now so when people say that I explain my bmi won't be healthy til at least 150 and the range is 125-150 for my height. Most people trust doctors so that usually shuts them up. But if I want to be a little mean and mess with them ill say oh I have at LEAST 60 more lbs to go and then they will ask me how much I weigh now. I tell them and they will start doing the math and look horrified as I walk away laughing!

That is a great answer - not only are you a wise woman, but witty, too! I may steal that when people tell me I am too thin!

Good luck with the rest of your journey - you are bound to be successfull with your attitude.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×