Mother in law

[hopeandfaith 6]

I finally got the nerve to tell my mother in law...against my husband's advice. Well the first thing she said was "Why can't you take Dexatrim"...."I have to watch my weight all the time, if I can do you, you should be able to do it." I was nice but I told her "Giving yourself an enima or taking laxatives everyday is NOT a HEALTHY DIET". I told her you told me you could NEVER SEE ME SKINNY because I have a pretty face...do you know how much that hurt me? She said, well I can't see you skinny and you do have a pretty face. She said, it's funny "MOST FAT GIRLS DO HAVE A PRETTY FACE". Then she went on to tell me about the people that she knows that have failed at WLS. I finally started to cry and told her you have NO IDEA! I told her I just wanted to let her know what I was doing but I am going through with it for my HEALTH...my LIFE! She said ok and changed the subject.

My HUSBAND was SO RIGHT about her! I told him I told her and he said that was the WRONG person to tell it was NONE of her business. I didn't tell him her reaction and I'm not going to. He was be MAD!

About 10 minutes later she asked if my Husband was going to take off of work for my surgery. I WANTED TO YELL by now but said OF COURSE HE IS!! Never in a MILLION years would I let her know he wasn't OK with this surgery at first!

My oldest daughter told me today on the way to Church to just ignore her she doesn't have a clue. Everyone deals with this issue in a different way BUT if she CARES ANYTHING about me she will call the night before I go in but if she doesn't not to worry about it. She also said, MOM in FIVE years what will it matter...do you really have to worry about something that won't matter in five years. Do what is BEST for YOU and your HEALTH and don't worry about what OTHERS THINK! I LOVE when my daughter shows me a different way to view things.

THANKS all for listening and I hope I can help someone that is going through the same thing with family or friends!! BE STRONG and BE TRUE TO YOURSELF!!!

[myrori 55]

You have a very WISE Daughter!

[coops 1,790]

hopeandfaith,

The sleeve is your decision and it gives you control over your eating, your health and your fitness... bugger what everyone else says!

That is a tough one... your mother in law doesn't sound that pleasant... but on the plus side you daughter sounds amazing!!

[klus263 9]

My oldest daughter told me today on the way to Church to just ignore her she doesn't have a clue. Everyone deals with this issue in a different way BUT if she CARES ANYTHING about me she will call the night before I go in but if she doesn't not to worry about it. She also said, MOM in FIVE years what will it matter...do you really have to worry about something that won't matter in five years. Do what is BEST for YOU and your HEALTH and don't worry about what OTHERS THINK! I LOVE when my daughter shows me a different way to view things.

THANKS all for listening and I hope I can help someone that is going through the same thing with family or friends!! BE STRONG and BE TRUE TO YOURSELF!!!

Your daughter is wise beyond her years. I did not tell my sisters or my parents until after surgery. Suprisely my father was understanding that I did surgery...I did not go into details as he is 82 and would not understand but he accepted that I was overweight and this was probably was the best thing for me. They live in another state and I only get to see them about once a year.

It won't matter in even one year. It has only been 30 days for me and I was a lucky one with no complications at all. I am loving my decision and now close to 35 lbs down from the day I started my journey with my first doctor visit back in February. What matter is that you are doing this for yourself. My husband realizes that he can't do it on his own and we are getting him sleeved in March or April at the latest. Good luck in your journey!

[hopeandfaith 6]

THANK YOU ALL! I'm very proud of my daughter...sometimes it takes someone close to you to show you a different way to view others.

Coops, she isn't the kindest never has been to me or my oldest daughter because we were both over weight but like my daughter said it is HER LOSS not getting to know them better. Both of my daughters continue to go out of their way to visit with my in laws. Now that my oldest has lost her weight well Grandma LIKES her now! It just CHAPS ME but there is nothing I can do about it. They are my husbands parents. It hurt my husband to see how his mother treated his daughters when they were growing up. I always tell him that is Water under the bridge all we can do now is move forward!

I will get sleeved on the 11th and I'm VERY EXCITED!! KLUS that is WONDERFUL that your husband is getting sleeved!!! You going through it already and showing him how GOOD it works is WONDERFUL!

[chilo1 62]

Good luck with your sleeve, you won't regret your desicion! You have a lovely daughter and I bet you are very proud of her. I chose to only tell my parents mu husband and daughters of course, and a few very close friends, cause it was my desicion and I was gonna do it even if the rest of the world thought i was mad!

[BigDawgMark 1]

Yeah, I hear what you're saying. I have an ex-Mother in Law who is a real witch.

She tells my daughter that I'm having the surgery cause I'm too fat and lazy to actually exercise and lose weight, she takes every chance she gets to drop "Daddy may die from this surgery" on her so that she'll get upset and try to stop me from doing it, but it's pure jealousy.

I think secretly that some people just want to keep fat people fat, like we don't deserve better in life.

As long as your husband is on board with what you're doing and doesn't listen to her trying to undermine YOUR decision, it will be ok.

In 6 months when you start dropping weight like a rock she may come around, and if not, you're better off for it, and she'll still be bitter, so let her..

[PlannerGirl 3]

Stories like this make me insanely angry. There are certain time in life when a person is supposed to keep his or her opinions to oneself. I'm sure this is a decision you have not made lightly…..in fact, the insurance hoops one has to jump through ensure that can't happen.

When a person makes a life altering decision such as this, I believe it is a families responsibility to support the decision. You are trying to make your life healthier, more fulfilling, and all around better. Who doesn't want this for the people they love?

You may want to remind your MIL if there was another organ in your body that was basically killing you, all would encourage you to have it removed. Until a person has struggled with weight the way a morbidly obese person does, they have NO true understanding.

And….I think the answer to "is your husband taking off work?" should be "Yes, he's my husband, he loves me and he supports me. Of course he'll be there with me."

Just my two cents.

Go forth with your head held high and do what is best for you. Good luck with your sleeve, when all is said and done you'll be so glad you did this for yourself.

[M2G 1,836]

Your daughter sounds like a wonderful support person for you.....kudos to her! And that is great that you told MIL, sorry it got ugly and you were emotional. I would remain calm and definitely not let her rattle you. You know how she feels, and she knows you are going forward with it. I hope your hubby is more supportive now.

And good luck with your upcoming surgery!!!

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,280]

Well, now you know how she feels. 'Scuse my crudeness be she can sit on a tack.

You are doing the right thing, don't worry about what she thinks or how she feels. You will get slim in no time and your pretty face will just be icing on the cake.

Hugs and blessings to you, and don't let ANYONE take your thunder.

[thinoneday 445]

I finally got the nerve to tell my mother in law...against my husband's advice. Well the first thing she said was "Why can't you take Dexatrim"...."I have to watch my weight all the time, if I can do you, you should be able to do it." I was nice but I told her "Giving yourself an enima or taking laxatives everyday is NOT a HEALTHY DIET". I told her you told me you could NEVER SEE ME SKINNY because I have a pretty face...do you know how much that hurt me? She said, well I can't see you skinny and you do have a pretty face. She said, it's funny "MOST FAT GIRLS DO HAVE A PRETTY FACE". Then she went on to tell me about the people that she knows that have failed at WLS. I finally started to cry and told her you have NO IDEA! I told her I just wanted to let her know what I was doing but I am going through with it for my HEALTH...my LIFE! She said ok and changed the subject.

My HUSBAND was SO RIGHT about her! I told him I told her and he said that was the WRONG person to tell it was NONE of her business. I didn't tell him her reaction and I'm not going to. He was be MAD!

About 10 minutes later she asked if my Husband was going to take off of work for my surgery. I WANTED TO YELL by now but said OF COURSE HE IS!! Never in a MILLION years would I let her know he wasn't OK with this surgery at first!

My oldest daughter told me today on the way to Church to just ignore her she doesn't have a clue. Everyone deals with this issue in a different way BUT if she CARES ANYTHING about me she will call the night before I go in but if she doesn't not to worry about it. She also said, MOM in FIVE years what will it matter...do you really have to worry about something that won't matter in five years. Do what is BEST for YOU and your HEALTH and don't worry about what OTHERS THINK! I LOVE when my daughter shows me a different way to view things.

THANKS all for listening and I hope I can help someone that is going through the same thing with family or friends!! BE STRONG and BE TRUE TO YOURSELF!!!

Ahhhh the good old mother in law! Aren't they amazing??? Thank god for daughters. . .they are so comforting and in most part understanding. . . how jealous your mom in law will be when she sees you skinny and have the pretty face! you are going to be so proud of yourself! We are all proud of you too. . .good luck honey and like you said "Be Strong and be true to yourself"

[hopeandfaith 6]

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!! I talk with my Best Friend today and that is the first thing she told me .....YOUR MOTHER IN LAW IS JUST JEALOUS!!!! Well after she called her a B--ch! LOL

My husband is supportive now! It just took some TLC and reminding him that I NEED HIS HELP!!! When I told him I told his mother he just said THAT IS THE WRONG PERSON TO TELL but he wasn't mad. I did end up telling him the next day what she said and what I said BACK and he told me that is GOOD I stood up for myself it doesn't matter what she thinks!!! This morning when he was leaving for work he said now what day do I need to put down to be off for you!

I came home from work today and my oldest had the house clean and clothes folded!!! Was cooking supper too! I told her I can cook supper and she said YOU SHOULDN'T have to COOK since you can't eat! (I'm on day 7 of my two week liquid diet) I said WOW THANKS and went outside and played with my boxer puppies until they were done eating. It was VERY NICE not to have to watch them eat!!! LOL

This NEW YEAR looks like it is going to be a GREAT ONE!!!

[seniorsleever 17]

I am on my preop diet, too--and hating the Protein shakes. My husband says if I want to try other brands he will go get them for me, and he bought himself TV dinners and cooks them HIMSELF! I don't have to see them and if I stay in my craft room I don't even smell them. Is he great or what?? (I wasn't even sure he knew how to use the microwave!)

My mother-in-law is deceased, but she would have said about the same things yours did. I think part of it is just the times are so different now for us that they were for them. The only person I have told other than my husband is my 27 year-old son, who supports me completely. I am particularly keeping it from my older siblings, because I know they would wonder why I couldn't lose weight without such a drastic surgery. It's not losing weight that is the problem, it is keeping it off that this will fix for me.

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!! I talk with my Best Friend today and that is the first thing she told me .....YOUR MOTHER IN LAW IS JUST JEALOUS!!!! Well after she called her a B--ch! LOL

My husband is supportive now! It just took some TLC and reminding him that I NEED HIS HELP!!! When I told him I told his mother he just said THAT IS THE WRONG PERSON TO TELL but he wasn't mad. I did end up telling him the next day what she said and what I said BACK and he told me that is GOOD I stood up for myself it doesn't matter what she thinks!!! This morning when he was leaving for work he said now what day do I need to put down to be off for you!

I came home from work today and my oldest had the house clean and clothes folded!!! Was cooking supper too! I told her I can cook supper and she said YOU SHOULDN'T have to COOK since you can't eat! (I'm on day 7 of my two week liquid diet) I said WOW THANKS and went outside and played with my boxer puppies until they were done eating. It was VERY NICE not to have to watch them eat!!! LOL

This NEW YEAR looks like it is going to be a GREAT ONE!!!

[hopeandfaith 6]

Just thought I would give you an up date on the MOTHER IN LAW. I was sleeved on Tuesday the 11th. She called me on Thursday the 13th and asked if I was ready for my surgery next week. I told her I already had it. She said WHAT I THOUGHT it was next week. She said well I guess that is good now I don't have to worry about you. I'm glad it is done and she started talking about something else! OH WELL LIFE GOES ON!!!! LOL

[AwesomeSleeve 5]

Congratulations on being sleeved. How are you doing?