female only Just need to vent

[Nanna509 1]

Not sure where to post this. Just wanted to vent, ramble. So yesterday was one year since my surgery and it's been wonderful. Really. I'm down 111 pounds and i don't think i've ever been in such great shape. So why do I feel so down? I only told like 3 people about my surgery so I didn't expect a parade or anything but there was like no one to really Celebrate with. My family is just kind of OVER all of it and honestly the 3 friends i told I think are rather jealous and haven't mentioned my weight loss in like 6 months.

I took a new job about 4 months ago with an old boss of mine. I hadn't seen her in 4 years and by the time I did see her I had lost over 100 pounds. She NEVER said a word about it. ???? So after I started we travel together so I told her I had the surgery (because of my weird eating habits now) and all she said was "oh". Not ONE other word about it!!!

I'm miserable at the new job and feel stressed and overwhelmed and am now finding myself wanting to turn to food again. Just feeling very down.:frown1:

[mb20mom 9]

Sounds like you've hit the "now what" stage. I've often pondered what it will feel like to be done with the weight loss and whether it will be depressing like a big let down. It's been so important to us for so long, and it's a goal we thought we'd never reach, and we forget that the people around us don't really care that much about our weight. And we must remember that people we meet now don't know we were ever fat. For so many years we told ourselves how much better life will be if we lose the weight. And now you've lost the weight, and maybe it's not the big hooplah we thought it would be...it's just life going forward as a normal person. No longer are we different, and there will be no parade for us. Hang in there and enjoy life in your new body! Try to remember all the things you thought you couldn't do when you were heavy and do them now. Go shopping and try on clothes you never thought you'd wear. I don't know, I'm not there yet, but I am trying to be prepared for when it hits me...hope you feel better. You sure look better! Remember that.

[breezy 8]

That must be awful to feel that way about your job. And to share your story with your boss and have her just say "oh", would have left me feeling bothered, too. Are you still feeling down today? Do you want to talk about it some more?

[Nanna509 1]

You put it so well. My weight consumed my every thought for so long, it's hard to move on. I know that sounds crazy, because it is. It has been such a huge accomplishment and I am happy about it, it just feels like no one cares. Every other major event in life people want to Celebrate with you, marriage, children ect... losing 100 pounds, not so much. I am so blessed to have had this surgery and it be such a success. Just need to focus on that. I would go shopping but there's NO room left in my closet for another piece of clothing.

As far as the job, it was a huge promotion and I was so excited. I've been there a little more than 4 months now and hate it. I'm very shy and it's difficult for me to make new friends. No one there really talks to me and I feel incredibly lonely. Now I'm not sure what to do. Stick it out and hope it gets better or just cut my losses and move on.

Thank you both for your responses. Best wishes on your journeys!

[KabinKitty 10]

Nana,

I'm so sorry that you're feeling down. It sounds like your new job isn't really a good fit for you. If you have the option, you might go out and do some job searching. Even looking can lift your spirits, and who knows you might just find a much better more fulfilling job! You deserve it!!!

Isn't it great to have a forum like this, where there are people who care and do the happy dance right along with you?

Chin up gal! I'm just starting my journey and have NO ONE to talk to but my hubby. He knows practically nothing about the feelings I'm having and his poor ears are tired of me trying to educate him.

Congratulations on your weight loss and your NEW LIFE!

[thinoneday 445]

Never let another person or place be in control of you and your actions. You must stay in control of yourself. I understand that it is painful and no one seems to care, but you didn't do this for them, you did this for you. Keep your head held high, you came a long way to get to this point don't sabatoge it now because of others. . . it's not worth that. You will feel extra horrible if you eat yourself silly now. . .first off you'll hurt, and possibly puke, and secondly do you really want to go back to how you were??? I didn't think so. . . so change your self talk and love yourself for you. . .Good luck

[ryansgirl 1]

well put thinoneday as always. i also like to add in a real sense no one going to ever no you like anybody but you. praise yourself everyday. it feel better coming from you anyway after all at least you know it real. and find another hobby i meet the most lovely elderly lady from my community and she teaching me how to use a sewing machine and it been great fun being with her and just learn something new and to add to the list of thing i can be proud of myself that i can do. but food is not going to make you any better if anything more depress and who needs that. you just need a bigger support group. start talking to strangers you be surprise who you bump into i have a whole new list of friends of all ages that i never had before and they are all wonderful in there own way and they remind me everyday it nice to breath and just live.

[Bebs 0]

Hang in there... I'm sure you've experienced the quiet reactions from people before about the surgery... I certainly have and I'm only 2 weeks post op. Unfortunately, there will be people jealous, or those waiting for us to fail, and they are not worth the time to even consider thinking about... There's also those who just don't understand, so they say nothing. You take care of yourself, start job hunting... just think, you can go buy a new suit and stand proud. You've made a huge accomplishment! Have a terrific week!

[thinoneday 445]

well put thinoneday as always. i also like to add in a real sense no one going to ever no you like anybody but you. praise yourself everyday. it feel better coming from you anyway after all at least you know it real. and find another hobby i meet the most lovely elderly lady from my community and she teaching me how to use a sewing machine and it been great fun being with her and just learn something new and to add to the list of thing i can be proud of myself that i can do. but food is not going to make you any better if anything more depress and who needs that. you just need a bigger support group. start talking to strangers you be surprise who you bump into i have a whole new list of friends of all ages that i never had before and they are all wonderful in there own way and they remind me everyday it nice to breath and just live.

Wow girl! You look fabulous!!!!! Haven't seen you in a bit. . . beautiful!

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Congratulations on your surgeversary!

Your heartfelt vent really brought out the best in some nice people here for sure. Great advice gals!

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

Make a nice post in the Success story forum! You are a success!

If you don't like your job, look for another one. It's so much easier to do things as a thin person. People treat fat people differently.

I remember when I thought being thin was going to solve all my problems. I remember saying ( and there are posts here of me talking about it) that I was no happier thin than I was when I was fat.

I went to counseling and I learned how to be happy.I found out what it would take to make me happy.

Do something nice for yourself! Go get a massage, or your hair done, and CELEBRATE! You are a success!