Did you tell anyone before surgery, and do you tell people now?

Sedonagirl · June 1, 2006

I'm scheduled for my surgery at the end of this month, and I haven't told any of my friends, and only barely told my family (parents and sister, husband always knew). My husband doesn't understand this, but I feel a little sensitive about the whole ordeal. I don't want to tell people, and I'm not sure I'll want to tell people afterward either.

Sooooo... how many of you are really vocal about the surgery, and what seems to be the general reception?

And if, generally, you don't tell people, what is your explanantion for all of the weight you've lost?

cashley · June 1, 2006

To be honest... I go back and forth on this issue. On one hand I kind of feel it's not everyones business and I don't like long discussions on why I did it, did I weigh enough, etc.

On the other hand; I used to get mad when I was overweight and saw someone losing and they said it was "JUST diet and exercise" since I'd tried that so many times and failed, I felt like they were saying they "could do it, but I couldn't"...

So I don't want to lie and say "I've just been eating less, excercising more etc. (even though that is mostly true) that's not the whole truth. I've lost weight only due to one reason... I have a tool that helps me feel "RESTRICTION" (the magic word) that makes diet and exercise easier.

I don't have advice to you but what I'm going to do is tell most people but be vauge if they are super skinny or annoying about it.

msbug · June 1, 2006

Haven't been banded yet, but I feel the same way. My dh and parents know and that's it. There are some people I absolutely don't want to tell, like my judgemental, overly-critical, cranky uncles and the people in my department at work, but the rest I haven't decided if, when, or how I'll tell them. I lost quite a bit of weight on Weight Watchers a couple years ago, so I plan to tell them that's how I'm losing again. I work at home and only go into the office once a month or so, so it's not like I have to worry about them analyzing what I eat. I just don't want to feed the rumor mill there and have them all talking about my surgery.

lins12 · June 1, 2006

I do a case-by-case basis. There were times when I wished I had not told someone that I had and times I was really glad people knew and supported me. Several people at work know, several family members but not all (THANK GOD!) and several friends. I have NO trouble sayig it has been eating less and working out more.

I was a little nervous at first when people would say I looked so good. I felt like they were just saying it bc they knew. I was also suspect of several friends that said I looked great. I thought....did so and so tell them.

I am less that way now, after a year. Now I say - THANK YOU!

Mrs Husker · June 1, 2006

Beside my DH, I have told my best friend and my boss. The only reason I told my boss is because I plan on taking time off work. I told him that I didn't want to tell anyone else at work. I have not even told my two sisters. Well, I did talk to my younger sister when I started thinking about WLS and she said, and I quote, "Don't tell me your that lazy that you can't lose weight without help", end quote. I was sooooooo angry with her after that, that when she calls, I have some excuse not to be there. I know my older sister would be supportive but I don't want to take a chance that my younger sister would find out.

As for what I will tell people when they ask me how I'm doing it after I start losing weight and start looking sexy, I plan on saying "With a lot of hard work and excerise!!" And after reading this forum, that wouldn't be far from the truth.

legallyKristin · June 1, 2006

My close family knows and a few close friends. I don't think it's anyone's business really.

Before surgery I mentioned to a few friends that I was thinking about getting it, and they basically tried to talk me out of it and said it was the easy way and if I just worked harder and ate what they did then I would lose weight. HHAHAH. Yeh, those people don't know.

There is one girl at school who has weight issues that I've told and it was a great encouragement for her, she now goes to Jazzercise classes with me everyday. I think it's just sorta a case-by-case basis for me too.

Kristin

j.s. · June 1, 2006

I am one of those people who told everybody. I have had nothing but support from people that I have told and it sure does make life a lot easier not having to remember who you told what to. If I have a problem with something I can go to anyone and they will try to help me through it, that is everything from yakkin up dinner to being on the longest plataue known to man (and woman). I am a very open person and for me that was the only way to go and I am happy I did. There is no right or wrong answer to this one, it is what makes you comfortable.

3loves · June 1, 2006

I told everyone as well. Family: immediate & extended, friends, my son's teacher, church. A couple times I've had family members get quiet so I just changed the subject. My DH actually suggested it for both of us and I got to go first so he is 100% on board. I got some flack from my mom and even the day before she said she may call me back to talk me out of it. I told her to save her breath!! After my surgery, she said she was going to be jealous when I started losing a lot of weight.....now the truth comes out.

It doesn't really affect me what others think or say. If they're talking about me, they are leaving someone else alone.

Pacomomma · June 1, 2006

Now after a year has gone by and ilost 100lbs. I am willing to talk about my surgery. If they ask how I lost the weight I tell them. you may be suprised at how many people are thinking about surgery. If you are not a very outgoing person this may be uncomfortable for you. In my case, 3 people are now starting the process for surgery because they saw my progress . I work in a doctors office and one of the doctors will only send people for banding . Think about it , you can actually help people.

niche · June 1, 2006

i've told all of my close friends and family and the people at work. i haven't told 'social friends' who all also happen to be a size 2 who have never had to diet or exercise. i haven't told my extended family. i am more categorically careful about my choices of who to tell. for me it's not a number of people, but whether i think they 'need' to know or will be supportive.

Chelley · June 1, 2006

I told everyone I knew before I had surgery ... kinda suprising for me because I'm somewhat a private person. I was so excited about my decision to have lapband surgery that I just couldn't keep it a secret. Now that I'm 1 1/2 months post op, my only regret in having told some acquaintances at work is I feel like they watch every morsel that goes into my mouth and I know it sounds crazy, but I also have gotten some less than supportive commentary about "You've only lost 21lbs"... well CRAP... 21 lbs in 1 1/2 months is fabulous and I refuse to let these nay-sayers bring me down. Right now, I have no restriction. My first fill is scheduled June 12th. I've gone from a women's 22/24 to a 18/20 and I'm feeling very good about myself. I've also noticed that people you thought may be supportive are a little snippy ... one of the gals I worked with commented on how baggy my clothes were getting and asked how much I'd lost. When I replied 21 lbs.. another co-worker (a large gal, herself) announced "Yeah, she cheated.. she went to Mexico and had surgery!" I was speachless ... of course I have a thousand retorts in my head now.. but I was stunned speachless.

I have no regrets in telling my friends and my family. Everyone who knows me and loves me has been very, very supportive.

Angels · June 1, 2006

Banded on April 4, 2006, and my husband is the only person who knows not even my 10 and 18 year old sons. I'm a private person and I just did not and do not want people questioning me about my decision. Losing weight with the lapband is no so dramatic that people will think anything other than oh she must be dieting and excersing.

Marimaru · June 1, 2006

Before and right after my surgery I told anyone who would listen, then I got to the point where I felt it was all I talked about, and so I quit talking about it. There are people in my life who don't know, not because I chose not to tell them, just that it hasn't come up (it's also kind of a nice way to test how 'normal' you think things are going).

CCBSTX · June 1, 2006

Advice: At the beginning or pre-op tell those that you feel will be supportive.

I only told my husband, kids, mother, mother/father-in law, and best friend.

I've taken up my "healthy" lifestyle last summer and THAT is how I lost the weight.

If I felt someone would benefit, from my info., I would tell. For instance, I ended up telling my brother and sister-in-law as I felt he might benefit from my experience. It has really perked up his curiosity and he occasionally asks questions. I am not pushy though.

It truly is a personal decision. Go w/your gut! Shawn