Kinda shocked I did this

[pumpkin07 32]

I was sleeved on Tuesday, February 9th. The gravity of what I've done is just starting to sink in. I somehow didn't read about a lot of complications before going into surgery, but now I find so many people speaking about complications and it is very scarey. I felt so bad the day of the surgery - it was just the most awful day. The next day was pretty awful too. I was very nauseated and threw up a lot of brown blood which I guess was bleeding during or after the surgery. Finally I passed through the last of that and I was so grateful. I actually just tried to stop taking the nausea medicine because my body was telling me I gotta get all this junk out of my body before I can move forward. For me that was a good decision. I felt so lost in that hospital bed which was incredibly uncomfortable for some reason. I was in a real brain fog and could never find the right cord I was looking for. I was so relieved to finally get unhooked from everything and deal with liquid pain medicine so I could really see what I was taking. I also filled the nausea prescription but haven't needed it at all.

I came home to a dog having puppies (she had them on the 11th) and my 2 year old who had missed me and was very confused, and my 11 year old who was needing help with the puppies. I overdid it and yet it is so hard for me not to overdo it b/c I am afterall supermom. My husband stayed home and he has helped, but it just seems there are so many mom jobs. But I could feel I was overdoing it and I just stopped and went to bed and slept and I do feel so much better. I hope I didn't hurt my sleeve, but I think I'm okay. Once I had to pick up my son and I was so mad at myself afterwards.

But I guess emotionally I am just shocked I did this, very fearful of the permanency of it and the fear what if I don't like it and I've already done it and changed my body for the rest of my life. So I kind of panicked about that, but then just tried to encourage myself to take today only. And today wasn't bad really. I see foods other people are eating and I feel like I could get it down too. But I don't dare. I really don't like the sweet stuff and crave real food and my favorite junk foods or just good healthy homemade type foods. But I'm taking it slow and it seems to be working out little by little. I laughed b/c I made a bowl of Tomato Soup. I actually mushed down 2 saltines as I ate it (is that awful?) and then had about 3 spoons of the Soup and I was done and full. So the whole bowl went back in the fridge for tomorrow. That is the best thing I've eaten by far.

I think my surgery must have gone pretty well, because actually I haven't had a lot of problems even though I did over do it when I first got home. But I dunno - I sure miss my foods. I wonder if this will be a decision I regret or am happy about over time. I just can't tell yet.

[Tiffykins 672]

You're still very early out, and all of this stuff right now is just temporary. Please do take it easy, I realize it's difficult when we have children, but unless you want to pop an internal suture, or get a hernia at a lap site and be back in the hospital away from your babies, then take it easy, and take care of yourself.

Follow your surgeon's post-op program, if crackers are approved then it isn't horrible. Get your fluids in, hang up your Supermom cape for a couple of weeks, and let your body heal so you can wear that cape again without complications in a few weeks.

I honestly love my sleeve, and the life I'm living today because of the 129 pounds I've dropped. My child is happy because his mom is happier, healthier and more active. My husband is happier for all the same reasons, and well because my libido is off the charts. Relax, breathe, and recover. This is only temporary, all those homemade goodies you'll get to have in the near future. Lean on us when you need support. We're here for you ! ! !

[wannalise 15]

Thanks for all of your honesty pumpkin. I'm yet to be sleeved, but its good to hear about the difficult parts as well. I hope you start feeling well soon, but be cautious, your family can step up for a little while and let you heal, the long term results will be so worth it. Congratulations!

[tennessee1031 0]

Hang in there pumpkin and know that you aren't alone. While reading your post I feel.. "oh, me too". I was sleeved 2/4. I have an 8 mth old, a 6 yr old and a 14 yr old, all that are more than ready for me to be better. I, like you only saw the good comments about the sleeve and I could swear I never say a negative issue until AFTER my surgery in which now is all I see it seem. That goes to show we only see what we want to see. I blame myself for needing such a surgery to correct the damage I did to myself unnessasarrily. Its frustrating for me because I can't walk upright w/o holding on to my tummy b/c of the pain and I sem to easily take in 1000 calories a day when others are only able to do about 500 or so, I'm like... did I pay for this crap for nothing? I'm paying financially, emotionally and physically! And that makes me a little angry.

Tonight was our family movie night. We ordered pizza. I felt so left out for some reason. Mad at myself because I feel if I had an ounce of self control, I could have just excercised Portion Control instead of such a permenant surgery... I could've just had my dang jaws wired shut. lol....

I do think however, we are way too early out to be making any kind of conclusions about our decision. Good, bad or otherwise. I think it will take some time for us to catch up to our new tummies MENTALLY and PHYSICALLY. I am also hopeful also that soon, we will heal and love our sleeve. I have a mental picture of us nibbling on dinner and being satisfied with small portions and living the sweet life of little skinny bi*ches lololol:)))

Please reach out to me anytime you need to. Email me and I'll give you my number if you need to talk or vent.But Please know you are not alone at all. Hang close to this board, as it's the greatest source of information and follow Tiffys inspiration and advice.

Hugs and support,

Kimberly

[loser 0]

OK,, I think you will love the sleeve over time, but you really need to follow the post op diet. I have had explained in detail why, bits of solid food getting stuck in your suture line while it is healing can cause some bad complications. I have had little bitty peices of solid food but immediately after drank a lot of Water. Now since I have quit craving food it is not a problem at all. Try to keep your carbs as low as possible, and your Protein. This will put you into ketosis, which also takes away your craving for food. Just be aware of the possible side effects of ketosis. I have attached a short article I just read this morning. Wishing you the best of happiness and health.

Ketones, Ketosis, and Ketogenic Diets, Weight Control, Weight Loss, Strategies for Weight Loss, Dieting, Holisticonline.com

[mistiblu 0]

I totally understand your feelings. I was sleeved 1/23/10 and felt great for the most part, no post-op complications or concerns. Then I went out to eat with my husband for the first time, I ordered steamed fish and overly cooked broccoli and 2 bites of fish and 3 bites of broccoli later I was overly full to the point of discomfort...WTH! I was all of a sudden truly depressed!!! Is this what it's going to be like for the rest of my life?!?!? I couldn't even enjoy the social aspect of being out with my husband because within 30 minutes of sitting down to eat I was done! It began to hit me that there's no turning back and like it or not this decision is permanent...I almost cried right there! Never, ever thought about it like that before the surgery but it did hit me hard that night and the next couple of days. Having said that, I do believe Tennessee's comments are right...it's way too soon for us to know the implications of our decisions and to come to a conclusion that it was or wasn't the right thing, our perspectives aren't objective yet because we're still in the healing, learning, & grieving phases. I can say that to a certain extent I'm grieving my old eating life, but not the old feelings of inadequacy, lack of self-control & hopelessness. I am where you are, but I have to believe there's peace with this decision on the other side. Good luck to you, I'm sure our feelings will change in time.

Happy Losing!

@ Tiffykins, thanks so much for your willingness to share info you find, I have benefitted greatly from many of your posts and links. The ditary guide you linked was invaluable and helped me with so many questions my surgeon's group neglected to answer.

[ishary 0]

pumpkin you are not alone.

I too was feeling this the first week.

I was so very depressed and wondering what in the heck I had done to myself.

I feel I have snapped out of it now and I really just Thank God for the people in the Group for that!!!

Prayers are with you!

xo

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

It does get better and so much easier.

Honestly, I eat anything I want. I am thrilled with the sleeve and I never feel deprived.

I am going on a cruise soon, and I am wondering if I will miss being able to stuff myself with all the good food there will be there, but being able to wear a hot little dress and not being a fat lady will be so worth it!

[pumpkin07 32]

Thanks for all your responses. I love the part about the hot little dress! I see you deserve to wear that cute dress, and I hope to be right behind you.

I needed the surgery, but I love food and will miss it. I hope I too will adjust in time.

My surgeon sized me at a 34 and I wondered how that compares to what others get in surgery. He said he usually does a 32 or 34.

[excited2lose 0]

I am emotionally drained from my sleeve. The past few days have been tough. I am not getting enough Protein, and I don't like any supplements. I keep saying to my husband "Will I ever be normal again?" I moved to mushies today (a day early, but I felt I was ready). I ate one bite and was running for the bathroom. I watched other people eat at the restaurant and I felt so left out and off in my own world. To be honest, it sucked. I just wanted to go home. I really just want to be normal again.

[youknowit 11]

Hey all! I went through a slump the other day, feeling hungry, feeling overwhelmed... but I think I'm getting past it now, and we all will move on to a better place soon! Hang in there! :smile:

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

Honestly, when I was on the post op diet, I found it necessary to stay completely away from other people who were eating. it was much easier that way. I did my post op diet and avoided being around food or other people eating food.Why torture yourself?

You;ll go back to eating normal food in a little while. until then, find other things to do with friends that don't involve eating with them. That really saved me from feeling deprived and left out.

[brileysmom 0]

I got my sleeve on 2/4. Several days of liquids and nasty Protein had me feeling like I made a mistake. My family ordered a pizza on Superbowl Sunday and I nearly cried! Once I started on mushies,it got so much better. food was my dear friend and it's hard to say good bye. However when I look in the mirror and step on the scale I know I made the right choice. I feel so much more energetic already and that is better than pizza! Hang in there, You can do it!!!!!

[FireFly 0]

pumpkin first of all its your first week. You just had a major surgical procedure, feel like crap, probably aren't sleeping well and can only eat Clear Liquids. Of course you are feeling like you are. I was feeling like that too. I am just a matter of days ahead of you. But yesterday and today I feel great.

No one ever said this first month was going to be easy. I went grocery shopping today. That was tough but I survived without a meltdown. I actually was cheerful because I bought a couple of things I can eat tomorrow when I go to full liquids.