Emotional eating, mixed emotions

[Bob_350lbs 105]

One of my cats is gone, I adopted them both as kittens from the same litter. They were like my kids..and need help dealing with it.

Edited September 30, 2009 by Steph_123

[*susan* 1,709]

I am so sorry about your cat. Like you said, our pets are like our kids and it is very difficult when we lose them.

As for the rest, I think I get what you are saying. Before, when we were sad, angry, lonely, depressed or whatever, we turned to food to comfort us. It was always there and filled whatever void we needed to fill. But now that we have such teeny, tiny stomachs, we are forced to actually face our problems and deal with them. We will probably end up being healthier both physically and mentally.

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

I totally understand. My bf broke up with me after telling me just a week before, that he had never been happier in his life and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Then my dog died a couple of weeks ago,who was definitely my baby.

We do learn other coping methods. Unfortunately, grazing is still possible with the sleeve. It's totally possible for me to eat nuts, chips, and candy. I have to decide for myself that I don't want to gain any weight back and head to the gym when I feel stressed out.

We all understand and are here for you.

[Malaika 50]

Steph, I am so sorry about your kitty. It is so tough to lose a pet.

I can relate to what you are going through with the food - I turned to food when I was married and got the heaviest I'd ever been - I was miserably unhappy so I ate. Once I made the decision to get out of the marriage, I changed the way I ate and started going to the gym -- I didn't need the food anymore. I dealt with those demons; however with some of the issues I have had with the sleeve - I at times wondered "what the hell" did I do. I do not feel that way any longer.

If you are not able to work through these issues on your own, seek help to get through them and you'll be a much happier person and happy with your choice of the sleeve.

We're here for you whenver you want to whine or vent! HUGS to you

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

There are also some books that MacMadame has recommended focusing on emotional eating

[LAN2k 18]

One of my cats is gone, I adopted them both as kittens from the same litter. They were like my kids..ok, so now I feel real empty inside, lonely really....I want to fill the void w/food.

I eat too much and hurt myself..and I get pissed cause I can't eat anymore than 2 oz w/o pain, but then I feel grateful at the same time, and am so glad that I cannot eat more. Even went and got a McD's cone yesterday and started eating higher carbs, rationalizing that is it okay because I lost 2 lbs after doing it.

Exercising helps, music helps, this group helps..but I am wondering if the lonliness isn't the emotion that fueled my overeating. About 6 yrs ago, my ex walked out w/o any warning...after 25 yrs, of what I thought was a good marriage. Everybody thought we had a a great marriage, including me. Talk about the shock of my life...and I dealt with it by eating until I got up to my highest wt ever.

It's no excuse and I hate whining about it. Everybody in the whole world goes through stuff and doesn't get morbidly obese. But I did.

Reality has set it, I can no longer fill that void or numb the pain w/food. And, I have felt angry the past week, what did I do to myself? I have paid somebody to make sure that I cannot eat more than 2 oz. Life will never be the same again, which is good. My old coping method is gone, even though it really didn't serve me well, it was an effective distraction..oh, just venting...maybe it's time for acceptance, it is what it is...putting on my big girl panties and learning to deal with it!

Maybe losing weight is about getting our power and control back, and I am all for that.

I am so sad for your loss and touched by what you have said and what all of you have shared. Three years ago I lost my cat he was with me from about 6 weeks old and passed at 17 yrs old. Then his "brother" adopted at 4 weeks old passed away at 15, one year later. They were 2 years apart and best buddies, my best friends. I was devastated with each loss, we 3 were together for years. It took time but since I've adopted 2 more. I too will need to learn new and better ways of coping with life hereafter. food was always my mode of comfort and void filling. I guess we need to learn how to feel our feelings and move on. I hope this shift in relationship with food will indeed help us to find healthy alternatives. It sounds to me like you have come a long way.

[Bob_350lbs 105]

Thank you for your support and kind words. I really appreciate it. I'm a fine, much better today. Thank you. Last night I dreamt about my ex, that he came over eating a donut in my face and had his new wife in the car and wanted her to come in my house! I got furious and kicked him out, told him to never come back. Funny, probably had a lot of meaning on a lot of different levels for me. Dreams, aren't they kooky?

Edited September 30, 2009 by Steph_123

[Malaika 50]

Yes, and I've found that they never mean what we think they do -- maybe your ex husband signifies your addiction to food and that by kicking him to the curb you are taking control over not only your choice of food but your new life as well. Who knows, but as you said, I'm sure it has a lot of meaning on a lot of different levels. Glad you are feeling a bit better today.

[JudyJudyJudy 7]

Thank you for your support and kind words. I really appreciate it. I'm a fine, much better today. Thank you. Last night I dreamt about my ex, that he came over eating a donut in my face and had his new wife in the car and wanted her to come in my house! I got furious and kicked him out, told him to never come back. Funny, probably had a lot of meaning on a lot of different levels for me. Dreams, aren't they kooky?

I have a beautiful Persian Female. I'd love to give her to you, my guys are complaining about all the hair...and want me to get rid of her. I've only had her about 6 months, so I'm not TOO attached yet.

I live in Mississippi though...where are you?

[thinoneday 445]

One of my cats is gone, I adopted them both as kittens from the same litter. They were like my kids..and need help dealing with it.

Lots of us understand your pain Steph, I myself have had a tragedy simular to yours with my dog. . .he was 2 years old (I got him at 7 weeks old) and he WAS one of my kids. . . if my husband would be outside messing in the garden, there was Blaza digging right long side him, if I and the kids were at the beach, there was Blaza right long side us. . . it was like he understood all we talked about, he hated the vet, just like kids hate the doctor, he loved presents and everything. . . only 1 problem existed though, he was bred as a protection dog (he might not of known it) but he was 120LB giant german shepherd bred for the police. He loved his family, but nobody else, he was alway brissly if anyone came to the house (needed to be penned up in the runway when company came over) he had to be fed a weiner with 4 valium to sedate him with a mussel in order not to kill the vet when I took him and still he tried on wobbly legs. . My daughter opened the door one morning to get the mail, and he just flew past her before you could say boo, ran across the street and attacked a lady. She was ok, but our area has a no tolerance bite rule, bite once your dead. . . so we had to put him to sleep. . . that was horrible! Up to now (3 years later) I refuse to get another animal, much to painful when they die. . . . now I have fish. . . so we all understand your trauma and heartache.

[Malaika 50]

Thin - so so sorry for your loss. I have lost pets - and it is so very difficult; however, I find that I love having pets, and so I continue to get them, knowing one day they will leave me to go to the Rainbow Bridge to wait for me to join them. I love them while they are here and the unconditional love they give in return is nothing that can be compared to anything else.

I never try to replace a pet I have lost, each is different and special in their own way.

[Bob_350lbs 105]

I have always wanted a persian cat, but my remaining cat cannot get along with another cats, except his brother, who is gone. Thank you so much for your kind offer. God bless.