No Support

[DownInSocal 12]

I am feeling totally and utterly alone today. I woke up crying. I am at work crying. I had to ask a coworker to get my calls. I am sure some of my weeping is the stupid birth control pill issue.

I have noticed since I got my surgery date people?s ?support? has disappeared. Now I get ?Are really sure you want to do this? ?You know you can die from this? ?I bet you could accomplish this with diet and exercise? ?You are not really that fat, you just need to lose a little? or their other favorite thing is to say nothing at all. Basically since I got my surgery date no one has said anything to me. Not a ?How are you feeling, nervous, excited?? or ?You are going to be so happy and healthy? When I told people I got my surgery date I got blank stares or the above statements.

My husband is the only one who supports me but he is not a man of many words and never knows what to say. He is a wonderful man don?t get me wrong. Just not a talker. More of a cuddler. The rest of my family so silent on the issue you could hear a pin drop. That is fine I will remember this.

So if I gain weight my surgery won?t happen. I usually weigh twice a day. I did not weigh last night because I had a friend over (which turned out to be none supporter too). Somewhere between yesterday morning and this morning I gained two pounds. WTF? So it is back to shakes only for me. I tried the powders? utm_source=BariatricPal&utm_medium=Affiliate&utm_campaign=CommentLink" target="_ad" data-id="1" >unjury chocolate sample this morning. It made me nauseous just to add to my misery I am downing Water to try and not throw up and move the stuff through. (I have not had surgery yet for any reading who don?t know my whole story). I have been drinking a Protein Powder shake every morning for months now so I don?t think it is the sudden Protein rush or something. Whatever. I will try the strawberry sorbet or vanilla tomorrow. If it still makes me sick I will mail someone my samples. I hate wasting.

It sucks. Litterly my only support is my husband this board.

[BeardedItalian48 3]

--------I don't normally comment on things like this, I feel the need!

First---nobodies business but yours! Second---seems like all of a sudden everyone knows someone that died, had a bad time, lost to much weight etc....SCREW em!

They are uninformed and going off fear.

WE (people on the board) are informed and have done the research and KNOW we are making a good positive decision for OURSELF!!

Vegas and myself have chosen to tell very few people simply for that reason.

Fear based advice isn't advice at all, it is FEAR period!

I at this point would get back on your horse, and talk to us in here and your hubby...and maybe your best friend, NOBODY else. You do not need it and they are misinformed!!

WE ARE HERE FOR YOU 100%------

This is the best thing you will EVER do for yourself!

BELIEVE IT OWN AND IT BECOMES YOU!

Smile! We love ya~:thumbup1:

[Ruthi 60]

I second that notion 100%. I use this forum family to air all my thoughts, fears and concerns and they are the ones I go to for my proud moments too. I didnt tell anyone about my surgery except for my doctors and one friend who never sees people I work with or am related to. What they dont know wont hurt me. Keep the faith my friend. This will pass and we are here for all the support you need. If I come to San Diego, which happens from time to time, I will let you know and we can do lunch or shopping or something. We are here for you.

[DownInSocal 12]

Thanks guys. I am feeling a little better. I think if I could get a good nights sleep it would help. I will write more later.

[kaykay 1]

Well, let me just say, downinsocal, as my husband's surgery date got closer, I began to also ask him if he was sure he wanted to go through with it etc. Now, understand, his BMI is very high and I am totally supportive of him doing it. I wanted him to do it very badly. But at the same time, I didn't want him to feel like he "had" to do something this life-altering if he really didn't want to.

I think sometimes people may question you and emphasize the negative because they do want to make sure that you realize there are risks and that this is not a "walk in the park." I think most people by the time they get down to the weight loss surgery, they are usually pretty informed about what it involves....but others don't always realize that.

I know that probably not everyone we know was in agreement with my husband's decision to do this even though his starting BMI was about 59. Even at that, it is controversial to some extent. At the end of the day, you just need to be confident in your own decision about it.

[DownInSocal 12]

Thanks for the support guys and the nice private messages. I really do appreciate it. It is amazing what we go through just getting to surgery, not to mention what I have seen people going through after surgery.

Easy way my a**.

[MacMadame 81]

You can't gain two real pounds in 1 day. It's Water weight. Drink a lot of water and it will go away.

[DownInSocal 12]

I drink Water to make Water weight go away?

I hate that damn scale. I actually didn't worry that much about my weight until someone was breathing down my neck about it......of course maybe that is why I am where I am at eh.

[Ky.hen 5]

Socal,

That is the very reason I have not told anyone. My hubby and my oldest daughter are the only ones that know. Some people think that we will be going on vacation. You hang in there and we will be here for you.

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

I sure didn't tell anyone. It's been great. It's nobody's business.

You should come to chat. We have a good time in there. And if you're in Southern CA, you're on the time zone most of us are in.

You need to chat with your sleeve sisters!

[MacMadame 81]

I drink Water to make Water weight go away?

Your body sometimes holds on to water when it needs it. Like when you consume too much sodium. So drinking water give your body the water it needs and then it lets it all go.

[dange25 57]

throw your scales in the bin girl! find somewhere where you can weigh in once a week maybe. then you wont worry yourself into total crazy spin. you can do without this stress.

and as for the unsupportive ppl...pffffftttttt opionions are like butts!!!! everyone has one and you can bet your last dollar it will stink sooner or later!!!

when i told my step mum she was kind of disapointed....but angeeee we love you just the way you areeeeee. but i dont love me just the way i am. i guess some ppl just feel threatened that we are taking some active control in helping ourselves. esp if they also have a weight problem. ***god forbid you get to the same weight or SMALLER** they take comfort in knowing theres always someone with a bigger tush blah blah you get my drift right???

i found every time i started loosing weight, a whole bunch of ppl would jump on my tail strings and hitch a ride cause they didnt want me to catch up. (one of my true friends told me this was going on)

forget them and there blury vission. sort out your needs for you.:-)

we are here for positive reinforcement 24/7

:-)

[Bornagainbabe 4]

I told 'everyone' both times - when I had the band and now the sleeve - and part of me regrets doing that. I nearly didn't tell anyone about the sleeve op as I knew what kind of reaction I would get but ended up having too as I needed family support in caring for my autistic son.

Do NOT listen to anyone else. You know yourself that you need to do it and why you do. The people who badk on and on about it being drastic, risky, the easy option (!!!) are mainly those who have never had an issue with food, do not have other issues in their lives (in my case extreme stress and depression) making dieting virtually impossible - by that I mean being able to get up the energy and motivation to embark on it and stick to it and as Bearded said, those who believe everthing they read in the media. All surgery has it's risks and at the moment bariatric surgery is the favoured one to have a pop at.

Do what you think is right and ignore everyone else if you can. Most people supported me in the end as they agreed that I would only gain all my weight back if I didn't have the band to sleeve revision, but there were the odd few who couldn't bring themselves to wish me well and all I say is 'stuff them!' because I know I will be nice and slim, happy and healthy and generally a better and more understanding person.

Helenxxx

[*susan* 1,709]

Everyone in here has given you some great advice. What I have found are the people who are negative fit into one of two categories. Either they too are obese, and are unwilling to take control of their problem and are upset or jealous of me for doing something about mine; or, they have never been obese and don't really understand just how difficult losing weight is or that we truly have an addiction to food. And, as others have said, they have not done the kind of research we have, so they really don't understand what they are talking about. My research showed me that I was at far greater risk if I allowed myself to remain fat as opposed to having the surgery and getting healthier.

We are all here for you. Any time you need support, just check in. We are your sleeve sisters and brothers and understand better than anyone what you are going thru and what you need. *hugs*

[Malaika 50]

Ange - you are too funny in your descriptions - but so right on target that is for sure!