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I'm hurting myself



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The past few weeks have been hell. My stomach is in bad pain - the kind that prevents me from sleeping. I'm eating too much, which is putting too much pressure on my wounded & trying-to-heal stomach. The band definitely did some damage to my stomach and esophagus. According to my doc, I need to eat like a bandster to make it heal, otherwise I'll be in major trouble. But hello? If we could eat small portions none of us would be here.

I don't know what to do. The diet doc referred me to the addiction specialist, who is vacationing in Spain while I eat myself to death. The diet pills make me feel like I’m going to have a heart attack.

I ate 1/2 gallon of ice cream for dessert the other night. Last night I stopped at a pint, 4 Cookies, cold Chinese food, yada yada.

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I'm so sorry you're going through such a hard time. What diet pills are you taking? I've just ordered some Zetacap - I'll let you know how they work for me. Also, I've heard that a dose of Metamucil taken before meals helps curb appetite. Maybe try that in your rough period of the day. My rough period of the day is usually between 3-5p.m. but today it's already kicking in. So far I haven't given in, but it's only 12:06...where's that Metamucil??? Hey, if it doesn't curb our appetite - we'll just poop it all out!

Take care of yourself, Lisa. Take it a meal at a time - you can do it. You're my inspiration. If you can do it, I can do it. Let's DO IT!

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Appetite has never been (nor will it ever be) a problem. I don't eat because I'm hungry. Hunger means nothing.

So far I ate two normal portion meals today and two sugary drinks (1 coffee, 1 Pepsi.) I'm not going to hate myself for enjoying a couple sweets, but I have to limit myself to only 2 a day. One meal at a time today, so all I gotta do is get through ONE normal dinner. then have my fruit or popcorn snack. What's so friggen hard about that?

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I ordered the Zetacaps as well. Let's hope they work. I graze all day long. So I have to keep healthy stuff to eat or drink lots of Water. If there is a cookie in the house and I go to get something to eat then that cookie finds it's way into my mouth. That is just a fact. I don't even have to be hungry. I just need to graze. Either it is out of habit or what I don't know. I am trying to find other things to keep me occupied. Being sick doesn't help me right now. I am nauseated one minute then ravenous the next. SIGH!!!

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Appetite has never been (nor will it ever be) a problem. I don't eat because I'm hungry. Hunger means nothing

Wow, thats good. What a statement of truth!

Get this... Ive even taken the coffee Creamer and POURED coffee cream into my mouth (didnt have anything else carb filled to consume), just for the "fix". Now thats sick.

I know this is your forum, but I just wanted you to know that banded or not, somethings are not fixable with this plastic thing.

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DeLarla:

I know for a fact :omg: there was an evil and demented sorcerer dwarf in the 7th century who was pissed because he was supposed to be tall and handsome....

In a fit of jelouse rage he cast a spell:eek: on my trim and beautiful ancestors, that has remained :help: even unto my own generation...that just now is barely begining to clear out a bit in my own grandchildren....

It sounds like your ancestors were hit by the same evil :bandit spell...and you have inherited that treacherous and malignant :angry energy...

Have you considered having a Voodoo Lady put a whammy on the spell that drives you to this kind of behavior??

Jack...you are AWESOME!

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Please don't feel bad, I'll bet everyone of us has been there and will return again for a brief visit, you are in a rough patch, that's all. I'll tell you DeLarla, sometimes we all need a friend and sometimes cake frosting or chocolate is the best friend around. Let's face it, who else would invite themselves to stay right on our butts and thighs without an invitation? Only a true friend, that's who. So cheer up and the next time that loyal freeloader shows up, don't open the #&*^ing door. Hope that made you smile, see ya! LOL

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Lisa, I have been feeling the same way the last couple of days. If there is food in my house and it is not still frozen it has been on my lips. Two days ago I cooked a pack of bacon to make blt's with and ended up eating the entire pack minus four slices...which i devoured when i got home from work that night. in addition to wheat thins dipped in a thick ranch dressing and a glass of milk. This happenes to me every time I get closer to getting under 250. I am sabatoging my self!!! Why? Am I afraid of being thinner? Am I afraid of revealing the ture me that has been hiding under layer upon layer of fat for years on end? I think the answer is YES!!! But, Why? WHY? Why am I afraid of myself? that is the question and I have to search myself and my past to find it. I started hand writing in a journal and I have found it to be theraputic. I hide it so that no one could ever find it...i would DIE if anyone were to read it. I am not sure if this is an avenue that you would want to explore, but it does seem to help me a bit. I no longer want to live in denial. I need to find the facts and then face them. and I thin k the best wqay for me is to do it HEAD ON!

You have my number...use it...call me:cell: .... you never know; your call may just save me from attacking the nutter butters sitting on the counter.

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Hey Lisa!

First of all, hugs!!! Second, you are looking hot, hot, hot, hot in your avatar!!!

Girl, don't be so hard on yourself - for whatever reason, you were not meant to have the band in your body. Maybe Jack is right, you should have visited the bayou while you were in N'Awlins for a voodoo fix!! More likely, though, is that your body wants control of itself! Your brain has to get the upper hand (like I should talk!?!?!), which will most likely happen when your tanned, spanish-visting, addiction guru returns from afar! Til then, have Chris tie you up, feed you, bathe you, and only let you up for exercise (well, maybe not) and potty visits! Surely you can take the time off, and it would be great research for your slumber party business - LOL!!!!

Anyway, here in the real world, I am cheering you on daily, and I know I'm not the only one!!! You are the inspiration for so many on this forum - don't give up!!!!

Much love!!

~cheri

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Hey, Lisa! How'd you do yesterday? and how are you feeling today? I've been thinking about you...

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Appetite has never been (nor will it ever be) a problem. I don't eat because I'm hungry. Hunger means nothing.

Exactly!! I've learned that no diet pill, no hypnosis, no weight watchers will ever help me with my addiction, its much deeper than all of that.

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Jack, I LIVE for your comments! I can always count on them to put a BIG smile on my face.

I ordered the Zetacaps a year ago. I took them as directed for about a month. Their customers "claim" that they are SOOOO glad to have found them (the pills) before having something drastic done (like the lapband or gastric surgery)!

I did not lose an ounce, nor did I ever feel full faster after taking them. Now it could just have been MY experience, but they were like sugar pills for me. Did NOTHING, NADA, ZILCH.....I hope y'all have better luck than I did with them.

To Lisa, Tina and all others struggling:

First...here's a big ((((((hug))))), 'cuz I've felt the same way. Secondly, be firm but kind with yourself. I know you've got the strength inside to conquer that curse given to you and your descendants so many centuries ago. When you fall short, don't dwell on the past but say "tomorrow is another day" (I'm a Gone with the Wind fan). We all wake up with new mercies everyday.

Y'all have a great weekend.... talk to you on Monday. Love you all.

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Wow, all amazing posts. Starting with Paula, powdered coffee creamer was a staple for me as a kid. My friends used to look in our cupboards and wonder why we were so weird for not having food, and one day a friend was so hungry she dumped Creamora down her mouth. That's when I learned you can make a meal out of it. I can't believe you eat it, too!

Jack, similar to the dwarf that screwed you, I have a different twist. My family is 100% Polish; when they landed in America and got off the boat, they headed straight towards the cheese and potato lines. By the time they had the grub, all the Willpower booths were gone. Damn ancestors!

Shanna, Metamucil would just fill me up more. It's a head hunger thang. I'll be stuffed but my head spins out of control wondering what else I can shove down the pipes. I WISH I was like Penni or the other grazers. I don't graze, ever. I SCARF. Grazing might keep you heavy, but scarfing causes hiatal hernias, esophgeal erosions plus all the crap from being obeast, as hubby calls it.

Lady in Red, ain't it the truth that our true friends stick to my flabby belly for life?! food is always there - always. Warm, cool, saucy, spicy, hot - anything I want it to be.

Tina, we need to set up phone dates. My life spun out of control when I got sick for convention, and I need to get back on track. Everything's so busy trying to work full time and run a company.

Cherri (and everyone) thanks for the cry and the laughs! And I'm glad ya like my funky avatar! Yesterday I begged Chris to tie me up when I got home, but when I got home he was sleeping. And I've already had Voodoo treatments. Hypnosos, psychic healings, rake (sp?) and other stuff. The only thing I haven't tried yet is an exorcism, but only because I can't find a good exorcist. Anyone know one?

Thanks for staying my friend!

-

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