Easy Way OUT??

Jerseytammy · April 6, 2006

Ok I have a family member that is considering getting banded. When she told her mom she was thinking about this her responce was ...."Just like you wanting to take the easy way out".

Now I have spoken to her mother about me being banning and got nothing but support so this took me by surprise. She herself is over weight and knows the struggle of trying to lose.

I have not had someone so bold as to stand in my face and say this.

So my question to you all is this........What do you tell someone who says we took the easy way out?

HeatherGurl · April 6, 2006

Boy, that is a common misconception with WLS!!! No one will fully understand it unless they have it done!

Tell her What is EASY about being Morbidly Obese? What is easy about never getting to eat as much as your heart desires?

There is no easy about it.

It makes things easier for me.... but it isn't easier! I know that sound contradicting, but that is what I think.

Good luck with that!

barbara465 · April 6, 2006

It still amazes me when people say things like that. My DH and I were having a conversation the other night. He has been nothing but supportive of this decision and others that I have made. However, he says to me, "since you've decided to do this why don't you just start on a modified diet now and maybe you won't need the surgery. You may be able to lose it by dieting." I lost it. I told him that was the most ludicrous thing I have heard him say. It was if I had smacked him. He was hurt. So, that's not the way to go. I had to educate him on morbid obseity and what dieting for 40 years does to ones body. If you have the time, try to educate her. If not, just let it go. People will hold onto their stereotypes for ever.

JanetC · April 6, 2006

I'm not feeling like it's so easy! It's FORCED compliance! I've tried the "hard" way... diet & exercise. We still have to do that, we just don't have the option of cheating!!! So when I'm tired of eating small, the band doesn't let me go off and binge.

Easy it is not... a tough drill sergeant it is!

To tell you the truth, a person who says this isn't really open minded, so nothing you say is going to change their mind. So maybe just say something like, "It's a tough journey no matter what & I believe in using any tools I can get my hands on."

prinnie · April 6, 2006

Is she jealous?? Kinda sounds that way to me. Dunno

Tess L · April 6, 2006

my responds to that question was I wish

Angie C · April 6, 2006

Why worry what others think? It's for your health and well-being. And when they see you nice and skinny, they may think different, especially if they are overweight themselves. I have people in my small town asking me how I lost my weight and I am very proud to tell them about the band and that I will never be fat again while they are still struggling with diet and exercise. (sweet revenge)

Britt · April 6, 2006

Hi I am new here and frankly new to the idea that this MIGHT be an option for me. I had not really had a weight problem growing up, but since having children my weight has skyrocketed! I am now 220 and cant see it going down. I am sick of the unhealthy feeling I have but I cannot control my eating. Is this an option.....or is it ......for ME..........an easy way out? I admire all of you who take control and do something about your weight. Surgery is not an easy decision.

Sorry if I sound like a whiner or worry wart, but I am so confused about my options. According to the BMI scale, I am not a candidate for the lap band, but I don't see any other way. Any suggestions? Any Dr's that specialize in weight loss in the Langhorne, PA area? What works??? I have tried every diet out there.......I just cant stick to them.. I need some help and advice:help: .

BTW I am 5'73/4 and hit 220 recently:cry .

Britt

kabasm · April 6, 2006

There will always be people like her. Just because she told you something different does not mean that she agreed with your decision. Her true colors came out when her daughter said she was thinking of the same WLS. We are all going through something life-changing and we can do without the comments from the peanut gallery. For this very same reason, I kept my surgery a secret (except from my husband). I also feel that some people do not want you to "change" either because they feel threatened or whatever... Just be careful - its been my experience when I was doing the dieting stuff that people with her attitude will always try to sabotage your efforts.

:angry

JanetC · April 6, 2006

Hi Britt! It is hard to decide what to do when the scale keeps going up & diets don't seem to work.

The lap-band is a good choice if you are an over-eater, not necessarily if you're a sweets eater:

If you go off your diet by eating 3 sandwiches, lap-band might be for you.

If you go off your diet by having a milkshake or 2, it might not be for you. (The lap-band won't restrict liquid or sweet calories well.)

As to qualifying, if you self-pay, you most likely won't have to qualify. If you're wanting insurance to cover it, most require a BMI of 35 with a co-morbidity or 2... or a BMI of 40+.

Right now your BMI is 34.5 per my calculator, using 5'7". Using 5'8" it's 33.4. Do you have co-morbidities? High BP? High cholesterol? sleep apnea? Documented back or joint pain? Arthritis? (Just naming stuff off the top of my head.)

If you have co-morbidities, you could conceivably get your BMI up a touch by either gaining a little weight, or by hunching when they take your height. There was a girl who needed to have a higher BMI... she hunched for her height & took off 2 inches. She also ate Chinese the night before -- to add Water weight. I think she drank a ton of Water as she was going in -- more extra weight. I believe she also carried weights in her pocket, but I'm not sure about that.

I don't advocate insurance fraud, but gaining weight just so you qualify does seem a touch backwards.

Good luck with your decision! Feel free to ask questions, we're a pretty friendly bunch!

anillacookie · April 6, 2006

Hello....It's not easy.

But it helps.

Amy

meganwf · April 6, 2006

I am also wondering- maybe the mother just instinctively was afraid about her daughter having surgery, and so said the first thing that came to mind to push her not to get the surgery? Mothers do get a little weird sometimes when they are concerned for their kids.

As to the notion in general, I tend to pull out the numbers. I say, look- people can lose about 10% of their bodyweight on a diet, and maybe what? less than 1/4 will still have that weight off in a year. Now let's say you are talking about having to lose maybe 1/2 your body weight- the rates for success at doing that are pretty close to 0%. So why would anyone try something known to have a 0% chance of success, as opposed to something like the band with at least an 80% success rate- where success is losing at least 50% excess weight and keeping it off at least 5 years later?

vinesqueen · April 6, 2006

I'm one who sees the bandsters around her apperently melting away.

Many of the folks that were banded at the same time I was have lost in the range of 70 pounds, and yes, from my view point, that sure appear easy, especially when I've been walking the walk, talking the talk, and yet since last April I've lost 15 pounds.

Sure seems like its easy to me. For others anyway.

But I do not think there is any harm in viewing this as "the easy way" because I don't see any virture in suffering. Magazines and tv shows are constantly touting "so and so lost 8 million pounds without surgery!" like that is better than folks who've chosen WLS, like they are more worthy of losing weight, like WLS is cheating.

If you are faced with that question, smile your sweetest smile and say "at least it is a way out."

FunnyDuddies · April 6, 2006

You know what...even if it does make weight loss easy. who cares?!?! Yeah, ok, sign me up for the easy weight loss! Why should I punish myself and make things harder?? Is there something wrong with making life easier on myself? I know that WLS is not easy, and that there are some very tough times ahead of me, but there are very tough times behind me as well, and I think I am overdue for a little ease.

Yes, it is the easy way out for me. It is a leg up, a crutch, a head start, a no brainer. It is also going to help me live longer, look better, feel better and play better with my kids. Thank god for the easy way out!!!