I Just Want To Cry...

[mumof2boys 71]

This should be one of the happiest times of my life right now and I just want to cry and cry some more. I got the lapband in 2007...I was 275 pounds...I went down to 141 pounds, from a size 22/24 to a size 6/8...I was diagnosed with breast cancer in December 2010 and I kicked it's ass...I got pregnant in September 2011 and in May 2012 I delivered my 3rd son. He is a happy, healthy, perfect little fella...but I'm 220 pounds and hating life. I NEVER thought that I would be this weight again and I absolutely HATE myself. I want to cry every single minute of every single day. My surgeon wanted to remove my band because of a small hiatal hernia which made my band move. I went for a second opinion and my new doctor didn't agree and he actually gave me a very small fill. I have no motivation to work out and I often want to hide from the public because I hate the way that I look now. Not only am I fat again but now I suffer from back pain which they are telling me is arthritis and this extra weight isn't making things easy at all. I hate feeling like this :-(

[Kime-lou 648]

Can you find a surgeon will will fix the hernia and then you can start getting fills again and start losing the weight?

Many doctors, do hiatal hernia surgery at the same time they do lapband- I had mine repaired at the same time.

[CarrieBrownsville 55]

Please don't give up! You deserve so much more and I know first-hand that you'll be missing a lot of blessings because of your health if you don't do this now, while you are still young.

[Angela1234 29]

I realize this post was probably therapeutic for you more than anything else, but.... You have so much to be thankful for! Give yourself some credit! You've lost the weight before and you will lose it again. You have a new baby - congrats! You kicked cancer - congrats! Yes, the weight gain is a pain in the ass and I totally understand the defeated feelings... don't give up. You got this!

[mumof2boys 71]

Thank you. Kime-lou...I recently got a fill. The surgeon that I went to for a second opinion didn't think that I had to have the hernia repaired because it was so small. I got a very small fill and will go back in a few weeks for some more. In the meantime I am just disgusted in myself and feel like I have failed myself. I don't want to be the "fat" mom to my children and I also know that I need to lose weight and eat healthy to fight against the cancer coming back. Not only did I get cancer at a young age but I am also a carrier of the BRCA II gene mutation so my risk of it coming back are very high. I NEED to lose this weight and exercise and eat right...I think that because I ate like a cow while I was pregnant I can't seem to get away from doing that. I feel like I'm climbing an uphill battle and I feel like I'm going to lose this fight.

[LjoL3566 15]

You have been through alot, have a baby now to love and love you unconditionally! One day at a time!! Start small and move forward!!!! You can do it!

[Angela1234 29]

Btw - go ahead and cry if you want to. Let it all out - sound off here, shed the tears... and then when you find that spark again we are here to support you again. You have to find that spark... that motivation to change. Baby steps.

Ever consider doing the dreadful liquid diet for a bit? When I feel like I'm not losing or just need to get a jumpstart I do like two or three days liquids and I get back on track. Any little bit will help you - and seeing the almost instant progress from that is helpful. Just a thought.

[A New New Dawn 1,695]

Try to get the junk or unhealthy foods out of your house as well so they don't tempt you and replace them with healthier alternatives.

You cannot change the past but you can certainly change tomorrow. Hopefully as you start to get fills again that will at least help with your portion sizes.

I might suggest some counseling though as it sounds like you may be struggling with some depression. Maybe if you can work on that the rest will fall into place.

You deserve this. Try not to beat yourself up as it is only self-defeating.

[sapphire12305 9]

I had my band May 2009 and was 258 and got to 130 and stayed there til march 2012 when they discovered i had a hernia.. i had surgery a monthor so later to repair the hernia and repostion my band, since it got tilited. im all good now so far. so just get tyhe hernia repaired and repositioned the band and you'll be all set.

[BayougirlMrsS 3,933]

This should be one of the happiest times of my life right now and I just want to cry and cry some more. I got the lapband in 2007...I was 275 pounds...I went down to 141 pounds, from a size 22/24 to a size 6/8...I was diagnosed with breast cancer in December 2010 and I kicked it's ass...I got pregnant in September 2011 and in May 2012 I delivered my 3rd son. He is a happy, healthy, perfect little fella...but I'm 220 pounds and hating life. I NEVER thought that I would be this weight again and I absolutely HATE myself. I want to cry every single minute of every single day. My surgeon wanted to remove my band because of a small hiatal hernia which made my band move. I went for a second opinion and my new doctor didn't agree and he actually gave me a very small fill. I have no motivation to work out and I often want to hide from the public because I hate the way that I look now. Not only am I fat again but now I suffer from back pain which they are telling me is arthritis and this extra weight isn't making things easy at all. I hate feeling like this :-(

you have been and still are one of my inspirations .. I have followed your story from the beginning and could not imagine going thru everything you have. You are one VERY STRONG WOMAN.....You can do it again and will do it again... you just haven't reached that place again yet..... Other than the weight gain... are you happy in life with your new baby and new husband?

since my TT i can't seem to get motivated to get back to the gym....

[kerrbear72 55]

Ok mumof2boys don't take this wrong just listen. Put on your big girl pants shake it off and look at the big pic. You got to get your head back into the game here it's 4th and 10 to goal with 10 seconds left. When your boys get home from school or set them down infront of u and look at there face. They need u just as much as u need them you know what to do uve done it before. U do what ever it takes to get that old new u back start out slow and ul finish big. I have faith in u to do it don't cry about what's happened start smiling about what your getting ready to do u can do it

[kerrbear72 55]

U R A STRONG WOMAN U BEAT CANCER AND YOUR RAISING 3 BOYS COME ON. ???ƒ