Why I'm Not Telling My Mother In Law

[kittyforet 50]

I haven't told my inlaws and hopefully never will. My mother in law, brother in law and sister in law are huge...my hubby is getting bigger these days too. My inlaws and husband have all been large, except my father in law... Hubby was always the smallest after his dad, but not so much anymore.

5 years ago my MIL was absent at my daughters birth because she was in Louisiana with my sister in law, who was getting gastric bypass at the time. I totally understand her being there for that. It's not like I was going to allow her in the OR with me anyway. My SIL has always been huge. Not sure of her exact weight but I know she wore 5x. She never made good food choices and exercise was a foreign word to her. Pretty much sums up my whole inlaw side of the family.

Anyway back to her surgery. She was receiving state medical insurance so her surgery was free. Within 1 year she lost a lot of weight and looked great. Then something happened after year 2...She went back to her old eating habits and gained all of the weight back, and then some. She was given a huge gift in the form of free surgery that could make her healthy and enjoy life more and she trashed it.

The main reason I don't tell my MIL...she is the biggest blabber mouth and if I fail at this everyone will know thanks to her. Then I'll be compared to her daughter and I can't take that. It might seem petty but I don't care. I worked hard to be able to pay cash for my surgery, my insurance excludes weight loss.

If I want the world to know something, I'll tell the queen of gossip and you can bet in two minutes everyone in the USA will know. Not lying. I will be a success in spite of my inlaws.

Sorry for the long post...guess I needed to get that off my chest.

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[DesertRose80 137]

I don't blame you one bit! I'm keeping my upcoming surgery top secret to everyone aside from my husband...(duh)! Not even my kids will know....they're too young to understand anyhow.

My brother was banded 3 years ago, and has been very successful. But I don't need any drama from others opinions. I just want to keep this to myself!

[missdietcoke 18]

I am so shocked reading about disapproving mothers. In my world a mother is the one who wants the best for her child. She is there to comfort her. I honestly can not imagine how hard it must be to have a mother like that...

I'm having weight issues since I know my mind. I was always a chubby kid. Cute, round little thing. But the I grew up and stayed chubby, and then became fat. My BMI is 42 and I am miserable! I am constantly fighting kilos, and losing gaining losing gaining. My struggle is obvious to my family, and actually my mother was the one who opened my eyes to weightloss surgery. She told me she thinks I should get banded. I refused the idea, I told her I will lose it alone...It's been almost a year ago, I am 3 kilos up. So I have decided to get banded. I am selfpay, so it will happen in January and I am more than ready. I have my whole family behind me along with my fiance and I am super happy to have such a strong support "system"

I know you guys need to be extra strong without your mom's support. It must be hard to always feel like you are not good enough and you will be criticized whatever you do. I'll pray for all of us to have the strength in our journey!

[Cooper123 93]

I'm sorry you have to deal with people like that in your life. Fortunately, this forum is a great place to vent and get the support you need.

Keeping your surgery a secret is completely understandable and is totally a personal choice, in my case I don't really care whether people know or not, I guess fear of failure it's always lurking on the back of our heads, but if you put it in perspective, you will realize that you just got a great tool that grants you a big advantage in this battle.

I wish you the best

[chicasmom 10]

My mom is the last person I would willingly tell. She is of the opinion that most doctors are quacks and just out for money. When I was going through some scary procedures last year to be tested for leukemia (after band & not related) she told me I was thinking myself sick and trying to give myself leukemia by convincing myself I had it... for attention... Whacko. That totally made me feel like I did the right thing with not telling her about my band. I can only imagine what her response to that would be... On the flip side I did tell my stepmom who supported my decision totally. To tell or not to tell is a case by case person by person basis for me. Close minded judgmental people have no business knowing my business.

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