I am discouraged - please read

fiveholts714 · March 18, 2006

Let me start off by saying that I was banded on 2/22/06. My first fill will be next month. As of last week I had lost 20 pounds. I have been eating about 1000-1200 calories per day and exercising my rear off. I go to the gym 3 times a week. I do circuit training for about 25 minutes, walk a half mile and then swim laps. I have little restriction, but have been careful about what I eat. I get at least 60 grams of Protein a day. I have slipped a couple of times, but I usually suffer enough that I don't do it again! Plus I am more active in my daily life.

I decided that my goal is to either maintain my weight or loose a couple of pounds a week until I get my fill. I was sure I had lost weight this week. But I get on the scale and I am up almost 2 pounds. TWO POUNDS! Even my husband is surprised. I don't eat near what I used to and I am exercising. No, I don't think I am gaining muscle. Or if I am, it is in an area that I can't see.

Anyway, I am discouraged. This is hard work, especially before a fill. It makes it doubly hard that people know I have had this surgery and for some reason they feel that I am obligated to report my weight loss to them each week. Well, they are in for a surprise on Monday when I announce that I will not be reporting my weight loss/gain or otherwise anymore because that is my personal business.

I have had this secret fear that this surgery won't work. Probably because I have been heavy all my life and am now 40 years old. I ended up having to pay cash for this surgery and have some guilt that I took this money away from my kids and it is wasted. I know I'm not filled yet and things will be different, but if I was eating and exercising like this without a band I would still expect to lose weight. I feel like this is my once in a lifetime chance to not be morbidly obese. I don't even want to be thin - just not such a huge size that I can't fit in any clothes or an airplane seat.

Please say nice things to me.:faint:

pycca · March 18, 2006

Hi Five!, ahhh good one!! I rhymed, and to you that is great on the 20 llbs!!

If you are doing all the exercise yes it is probably muscle. another thing is when you exercise that much you actually need to increase your calories. I think you are doing fantastic!! don't get discouraged, I have seen people on here that have been 1 year out and only lost 40 or less total! Yor body is still adjusting to this new way to live... good luck!!!

leatha_g · March 18, 2006

20 lbs since February?? Um.. is this not great??? How much were you losing BEFORE being banded?? The AVERAGE is 5-10lbs PER MONTH - after having restriction. I'd say you have done better than average and you can tell those inquiring minds that the band is slow weight loss, not unhealthy super fast weight-loss and that you'll report to them on a monthly basis or quarterly, but minute by minute is just unreasonable.. lol. You probably ARE compacting and gaining muscle OR your itty bitty 2lbs is Water weight gain. I fluctuate this much IN A DAY... Give yourself a break, girl, this is not a race and you're right on track! Keep up the good work and try to relax, this is for life. Even your doctors goal is ONLY 50-100 lbs PER YEAR. It all works out over time...

Dutchgrl59 · March 18, 2006

:hail: Oh Hail great one.

You are gaining muscle..... and you rock! Any trainer worth their salt will tell you that You need to up your calories to keep that "Lean mean fighting machine" running at top speed. It's called metabolism! I am just amazed that you are circuit training already. I was told not to do crunches for 6 weeks post surgery. You are doing one heck of a job and you need to release your guilt. It doesn't help you or your family on this journey. We love ya here and want to encourage as much as possible. I don't have a surgery date yet, but want to do as well as you have. Hugs,

Kat1215 · March 18, 2006

You sound like you're doing fantastic to me! You probably are gaining muscle even if you don't feel like it. You are really exercising a lot though and not taking in many calories. My daughter needed to take off 30 lbs. last year and her trainer had her eating 1800 calories a day with 80+grams of Protein. If your body thinks that it is starving it will hold on to every ounce. Does your gym have someone you can talk to about calories vs. amount of exercise? By the way 40 is not that old. I'm 48 and I totally understand your worries. I didn't tell anyone that I was having this surgery done except my husband (of course) and my 2 daughters who are both at their ideal weights and very supportive to me. As far as I'm concerned, my weight is my own business and I think keeping your weight to yourself might help take some of the pressure off of you. Maybe instead of focusing on short-term goals you can look at your progress over a month? Good luck - I'm thinking good thoughts for you.

Barky · March 18, 2006

I was banded 3 days ago. What you are going through is the same thoughts I had before surgery. I have struggled BIG TIME before surgery working out 90min hard cardio 4 times a week or more, and just maintaining or gaining depending on my eating. I think you are doing great, I just think people like you and me need to have lots of patience and I think it is harder for us.

I also paid for surgery myself and wonder how it is going to be to answer to all the people asking how much you've lost.

Good Luck to you and keep up the good work!:clap2:

sunshineinsc · March 18, 2006

Gerat job Five, About taking money from your kids dont even think that way, because you are giving them a Mom that will be around a lot longer the less you weigh the less strocks,heart attacts, shoot you can even run faster to keep them running in the road so you are spending the money on them.

Good for you

DOC · March 18, 2006

Ditto to what everyone here said..... Get your head out your old thoughts and starting thinking positively!! You are doing great!!!

As far as the kids. I was a single mom many years ago when my now twenty something boys were little. When they got older they asked me where all their communion and confirmation money was. I told them ... the oil bill, the elelctric bill, the food bill.....LOL I do NOT feel guilty about using their money to help us live.

If you are a better "you" .... You'll be a better mom!

Keep up the great work... You'll get there!!! Easy does it, but do it..

LETS HERE IT FOR BANDLAND!!!!!

Tricia K. · March 18, 2006

Girlfriend, you're doing a fantastic job!! :clap2: 20 pounds is nothing to scoff at. I think you're doing all of the right things and, before you know it, you'll be losing again. Keep your chin up!!

PhotoNut · March 18, 2006

Good gracious, Five! You haven't even been banded a whole month and you've lost 20 pounds. That's fantastic girl. You are doing everything right except being patient. I know, because I suffer from the same thing. I've lost nearly 50 pounds in the last 3 months and I feel like I'm not doing as well as I could be. How strange is that? I see people who have lost 80 pounds in 7 months and I marvel! I tell my husband, 'Wow! If only I could do THAT!' and he points out that I'm ahead of schedule for THAT. The mind is an odd thing to figure out, isn't it?

I would suggest that you up your Protein and calories just a bit since you are doing so much at the gym. Each time you do circuit training (I assume you mean resistance training of some sort - weights or machines), you are breaking down muscles and need the extra Protein to repair them, while maintaining enough to provide your body with the necessary fuel it needs from being on such a low carb diet. I would suggest upping that to about 100 grams per day - but ask your doctor to be sure ok? I had a blood test to determine my short term and long term protein count. My short term was great, but the long term was low because my body was repairing itself from two surgeries and a serious burn while adjusting to a low carb diet. They advised me to up my protein intake to 100.

My son is a personal trainer and he tells me that serious weightlifters should be getting 1 gram of protein per body pound. So a 200 pound man who is lifting should be consuming 200 grams of protein per day. The protein is used up quickly - no long term storage - and its good to consume this right after you get home from working out so the nutirition for the muscles is there for immediate use in the repair/rebuilding process that starts right away.

Now...

Forget the scale - Remember that fat weighs less but takes up more room. Muscle weighs more but is lean and takes up a much smaller amount of room in your body. Tell us how do you feel physically. How are your clothes fitting? How is your energy level? You have to be noticing the changes in your body.

Girl, you are an inspiration to me. That's it.. I'm going to the gym starting on Monday come hell or highwater! Dang.. Thanks for posting!!

NeenBand · March 18, 2006

You said your exercising pretty regularly, including weights. Before I became sick and fat, I was a runner who lifted weights every other day. My body was very fit and muscular. But I weighed 160 lbs. I looked like I weighed 120, but because muscle weighs more, you look better in the mirror, your clothes fit looser, but the scale either stays the same or actually climbs.

Please please, if your working with weights or exercising a lot, don't fall prey to the scale demons. Look in the mirror and notice how your clothes fit instead. It matters more anyway.

Alexandra · March 18, 2006

20 lbs since February?? Um.. is this not great??? How much were you losing BEFORE being banded?? The AVERAGE is 5-10lbs PER MONTH - after having restriction. I'd say you have done better than average and you can tell those inquiring minds that the band is slow weight loss, not unhealthy super fast weight-loss and that you'll report to them on a monthly basis or quarterly, but minute by minute is just unreasonable.. lol. You probably ARE compacting and gaining muscle OR your itty bitty 2lbs is Water weight gain. I fluctuate this much IN A DAY... Give yourself a break, girl, this is not a race and you're right on track! Keep up the good work and try to relax, this is for life. Even your doctors goal is ONLY 50-100 lbs PER YEAR. It all works out over time...

This.

Fiveholts, you are NUTS to be discouraged!! Get used to this up-and-down, lose-and-stop, bouncy-bouncy method of weight loss, because it's the way it's SUPPOSED to happen. 20 lbs in a month is ahead of schedule, and if you don't lose another pound in the next four weeks you'll still be right on target for banded weight loss.

Chill. You're doing great.

fiveholts714 · March 18, 2006

Thank you everyone. I don't personally know anyone else with a band so it is hard to keep perspective and that is why I am here! My dh doesn't pressure me to lose weight, but I feel like everyone at work is staring at me all the time. I am a nurse and have had many conversations about weight loss surgery with my department. They would have figured it out if I hadn't told them. In fact, a few people I didn't tell have asked others if I had surgery. A lot of our functions at work are around food so of course I'm not chowing down. In fact, one person remarked "You eat like a snail". As long as it is a skinny snail.... They do the body fat composition testing at work. I should get it done. Thanks for making me feel better. I hadn't anticipated feeling this kind of pressure!

DonnaB · March 18, 2006

My dh doesn't pressure me to lose weight, but I feel like everyone at work is staring at me all the time.
I hadn't anticipated feeling this kind of pressure!

And this is EXACTLY why I'm not telling anyone I've had the surgery. They can speculate all they want but until I TELL them, they'll never know.

Five, I'm sorry you're feeling so pressured but you really are doing great. Maybe if you can let yourself off the hook a bit some of that 'under the microscope' feeling you're getting at work will be easier to let go.

Good luck on your weight loss journey.

JanetC · March 18, 2006

Everyone had great advice for you! If you're still feeling lonely, we have a thread for just us "Feb 2006" bandsters. It's amazing how many of us are feeling the same thing! You're welcome to join us as we struggle along on about the same timeline.

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=14346