Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

I Am Crying As I Write This...



Recommended Posts

For the past 23 years I've been an emotional eater, and now that I am a month post op I can't eat my emotions and I am sad ALL THE TIME! I went for my first fill today and lost weight, I should be happy. But I can't stop crying!

I mean I am a 23 year old junior college sophomore, who hasnt had a date since my ex fiance married someone else (a month after we broke up) I have a part time job and I live at home.

I dont have alot to be happy right now, and I just.. I dont know!

I guess I'm just reaching out for some support, lol I could use a hug!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Huuuuugggggsssss! I think all women feel that way sometimes. Now take 5 mins. and cry. Then go wash your face and try it again. Think of how we are going to look and feel when we stay on the path of this journey. You are not alone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Aaww Rae, I'm sorry you are going through such a rough times. I'm sending virtual hugs your way. It sounds like you really need them. I haven't had surgery yet, but I did lose 75 pounds years ago only to regain double it so I know the emotional struggle you are going through with food. Also, I quit smoking too over 6 years ago and remember being so depressed that I had "lost my best friend". How sick is that? It's really is all part of the process of the journey. I had the same kind of emotions about food and about cigarettes and will go through it with food again at some point. What you are experiencing is normal and it will pass. Hang in there. Learning how to have a normal relationship with food isn't easy. Congrats on the weight you lost! Take Care!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Poor thing....this emotional time is very normal as you are on the edge of something so diiferent and both hopeful and scary. I am guessing exfiance didnt treat you like the goddess you are...yur band and weight loss will cahnge that...not because you become skinny and gorgeous but because you will learn to love yourself and not associate with people who dont value you!

The other thing is, as I think you know, food is anesthesia...when you can no longer use it to hide your feelings from yourself you will have to deal with them...hang in there...scream and cry -there is nothing wrong with either...it really does get better as you move toward your goals, and learn to love yourself!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sorry you are feeling down. I've been dealing with depression for over a year now and it's no fun. In November I finally sought counseling and in December I started taking anti-depressants. It might be something worth looking into for you. Maybe ask your doc for a referral or contact a counseling center that accepts your insurance. It sounds like you could use someone to talk to. Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I also disagree that this is normal. It sounds to me that you're very depressed and need professional help. If your doctor has a psychologist on staff, call for an appointment. If not, call the office for a referral to a psychologist who understands baratric surgery patients. Do it now, before you feel worse.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh, this breaks my heart!! Probably because I have been there. I think we all have at one time or another. It is a crazy adjustment to not have food there as your crutch. It forces you to look deeper into things/feelings and that is very scary. I am right there with you. I agree with the other poster who mentioned counseling. I think you would be amazed the things they can make you think about as these thoughts pass through your mind. It is always good to just to get someone else's perspective. I too am a fan of meds. I take them for anxiety/depression. It just helps to take the edge off. It isn't going to cure you or make you instantly happy, it just helps you to face whatever you are delaing with and get the help you need.

My other suggestion....go do something that makes you feel GOOD....manicure, pedicure, massage, but a new skinny outfit, purse, shoes, etc.

You can do this!! Show that ex boyfriend of yours what he missed out on!! Don't let him take space up in your heart and mind. He's not worth it! YOU ARE!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sorry to hear your having a bad time. As to the Ex if he married someone else a month after your breakup consider this a lucky break! Just imagine finding out he was cheating on you AFTER you were married. Once a cheater always a cheater he will cheat on HER sooner or later. Good Ridance.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Does your school offer any type of counselling? You need to find other ways of coping with your emotions. There are other skills you can learn. If you have insurance, it might cover it, also.

You don't have to suffer. See if you can get help!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My 1st advise to you is get up and start moving. I have been to shrink so much of my life - depression tries to "get" me every year. My doc always listened as I spoke of the "stuff" that made me sad, then he reminded me that physical activity really helps. You don't have to do anything strenuous, just get up and move. walk with your Ipod and some fun uplifting tunes! Give it a try, see if it helps.

You are just beginning a very new way of living, let this great change happen to you!

keep in touch, we are all happy to listen.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You have a lot to be happy about! You have started a new chapter in your life, one that some others only wish they could have. You are in college getting an education and you are beautiful!

I agree that counseling might help. Even if they don't prescribe anything for you or you don't want to take meds, having somebody to talk to one-on-one is always helpful.

I hope you feel better knowing that there are others out here that feel your pain and understand completely!

Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You have a lot to be happy about! You have started a new chapter in your life, one that some others only wish they could have. You are in college getting an education and you are beautiful!

I agree that counseling might help. Even if they don't prescribe anything for you or you don't want to take meds, having somebody to talk to one-on-one is always helpful.

I hope you feel better knowing that there are others out here that feel your pain and understand completely!

Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For the past 23 years I've been an emotional eater' date=' and now that I am a month post op I can't eat my emotions and I am sad ALL THE TIME! I went for my first fill today and lost weight, I should be happy. But I can't stop crying!

I mean I am a 23 year old junior college sophomore, who hasnt had a date since my ex fiance married someone else (a month after we broke up) I have a part time job and I live at home.

I dont have alot to be happy right now, and I just.. I dont know!

I guess I'm just reaching out for some support, lol I could use a hug![/quote']

So sorry you are sad! I think whenever a person makes a big change, it is disconcerting. You are taking care if YOU! Good job, girl! As you get healthier you will make new friends. Just enjoy them!

Also, I went and found a counselor that has hoed tremendously with this transition. If you are at college, please check in to your student services or healthcare, whatever they call it. You need someone to talk to right now. You deserve to feel good about yourself and your choices. Write back again, ok?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

P.S. here's a hug???…

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

ah, big hugs coming at you! Hang in there, it will get better! Weight shouldn't be something that brings us down, it's not what defines us as a person really. But for some stupid reason it does for many people. I honestly didn't think it really affected me before my weightloss surgery but now that I have lost a few lbs I do feel so much better about myself. It has changed my realtionship with my hubby for the better, I enjoy doing things that I avoided before. I still scream and yell at my kids about school work, etc....I wish that part would change! Maybe after today's one hour meeting with my boy's counselor and that will change too! Best wishes to you. Keep the faith and know that everyone is here for your support.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×