Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

why is YOUR nose bent out of shape?



Recommended Posts

:focus:

I have NEVER heard anyone suggest that newbies or non-banded (whether pre-band or unbanded) people shouldn't give advice. Or that someone must be banded xx amount of time, or have xx amount of fills. That's simply ridiculous.

What I get up in arms about is when the tone of the board starts to shift to blaming the obese for their disease. You want a board where everyone is belittled because of "lack of willpower" you can find plenty of other boards that fit in just nicely with that attitude. I have no tolerance for it here.

I have been through a LOT of emotional counseling on this subject, and I have read a LOT about obesity, and what exactly causes it.

The truth is, there is no one simple answer. And just because I happen to believe that for ME there is a biological explanation in addition to an emotional component does NOT mean that I am unwilling to take responsibility for my actions. BUT - just because I am the one putting the donut in my mouth doesn't mean that it's just a simple matter of NOT putting it in my mouth.

For those people who have to lock their door and then check it ten times before they actually leave the house - yes, THEY are choosing to do that, and yet there is something very deep and primal driving their actions, and it is almost like they have no control. No therapist would tell them "Just stop. Use your willpower."

I think eating some things for some of us is like that.

And I think some of us are more hungry than others.

And I think most obese people have a strength of will that far exceeds many others who do not have to fight this disease.

Willpower is not indefatigable. It is not limitless. It is not designed for the long haul. There has to be a plan put into place - that's the willpower part of it. Then the plan has to be followed - that's the building habit part of it.

Obesity is NOT unbeatable, but it's a complicated thing, and I resent someone trying to reduce it to a simple equation of calories in=calories out. It is so much more than that, and most people need a whole arsenol of weapons to fight and win the battle. And telling the people who are fighting the battle that they are not committed to the journey flies in the face of everything I know and feel as an obese person.

IMHO

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

People throwing their cigarette butts out of their car window bends my nose a little out of shape. I think that anyone caught doing that should have to go find the butt and eat it off the ground, banded or not.

And the root of that isn't emotional at all, it stems from getting a flaming orange cherry in my eye while going down the interstate. :mad:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

P'nut, honey, not sure why this has you frazled. I think you give great advice, and generally have a lot to offer here. Here, come sit by me, and I'll stroke your hair, and get you some nutcracker spice tea with some milk and splenda. (that always makes me feel better...) Trust me, if you were dispencing snake oil, I'd call you on it.

But it's like Betty clarified for me. It is NOT okay to eat solids a few days out of surgery, and it isn't okay to tell other people that it is. It isn't okay to tell people things that could hurt them. I also think it isn't okay to get upset when someone points out the error of the way. But part of it too is a black and white thinking, black and white attitide. That there is only one way to do work the band, and if you don't do it my way, you are WRONG. But that doesn't permit any shading, doesn't permit any texture.

One of the biggest things is that LBT was a very civil board. No name calling, no flame wars, no "you're a big poopy head" sorts of things. I know that other poeple get used to dealing with people on boards a certian way. They expect to be attacked, so they start on the defensive. So something that really is harmless get's taken out of context.

Many of us come from a hurting place. Frequenly when we get large influxes of new people they don't understand our culture. And one of the things we have always prided ourselves here on has been our gentle and kind nature. Not "tough love" since that is a hard place. It's hard is what many of us have had too much of. Usually when we do have someone who needs some tough love, albout the harshest thing is a pix of Zoe's boot.

LBT has been a refuge from the harshness of what we have to endure "outside." We want to keep it that warm and inviting place, but we have to figure out how to keep it warm and inviting. I think this is the root of the issue.

Tommy, I think it sounds like reflux too. You might have to give it up for a while, or perhaps eat it earlier, or have a cuppa tea before you go to bed. It could be that it just doesn't want to leave your pouch and when you lie down it has to go one way... up.

Doll, go put on your boots and jump in the mud puddle. Why would you think you can't do that? oh sure, you just have to make sure you have the right shoes on, or not care about your shoes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks all, I will stop eating the PB at night it won't be easy as this song is aways in my head

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens and Peanut Butter

Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens and Peanut Butter

Brown paper packages tied up with strings and Peanut Butter

These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels and Peanut Butter

Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles and Peanut Butter

Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings and Peanut Butter

These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes and Peanut Butter

Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes and Peanut Butter

Silver white winters that melt into springs and Peanut Butter

These are a few of my favorite things

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am laughing tears here, my sense of humor is whacked tonite. A PB is a productive burp, but the discussion is also over PeanutButter......what "PB" do you mean?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There are some people who PB'd the first week they had their band. Are they more qualified to answer questions about PB's than someone who actually listened to the adivce of their dotcor and has never PB'd?

Hi, P'nut!! :wave:

Some people DO PB because they do not listen to the advice of their doctors. BUT... It's a rare bandster that has NEVER done it, ever.

For most bandsters, it's just a matter of time. In the 18 months I was banded, it happened to me only a handful of times. The first time was a big surprise - it was on over easy eggs all mushed up. Now, who would have thought... :mad:

Just FYI.

:love:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Liana,Imagine how confused I was when I first eneterred this forum, All this talk about a first PB or a bad PB. Man how could these people be so hard on Peanut Butter.

Donali, beleive me it's not easy being a Six foot Six ex football player who loves musicals. I know most of the words to most of the songs and I love to sing

Oh well off I go,, ohohohohohohoOAklahoma were the.......

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

One of the biggest things is that LBT was a very civil board. No name calling, no flame wars, no "you're a big poopy head" sorts of things. I know that other poeple get used to dealing with people on boards a certian way. They expect to be attacked, so they start on the defensive. So something that really is harmless get's taken out of context.

Many of us come from a hurting place. Frequenly when we get large influxes of new people they don't understand our culture. And one of the things we have always prided ourselves here on has been our gentle and kind nature. Not "tough love" since that is a hard place.

I honestly think a big reason the board has been a bit harsher lately is because of the combination of a lot of new members along with the fact that some of our wisest, most gentle and sincere members have not been posting as often as they used to. It takes a lot of time and there really are more posts to wade thru than there used to be, but the lack of VINESQUEEN & LA MADAME especially shows.

I know there have often been times in the past where I was reading a thread had a smart-ass comment pop into my head only to then read a loving, sweet response from one of those two that just made me ashamed to have such bratty thoughts.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

WHy's my nose bent out of shape? Because some jerk right behind me on an intersection thinks it's ok to honk at me the second the green light comes on. That really pisses me off.

Or because my son will come up with every freaking excuse possible not to do his homework, and calls me a bad mom when I tell him to sit down and do it or he will be in big time trouble,

Or because I get headaches almost every freaking day and all my doctor has ever offered was perscription advil. When I want to figure out WHY it hurts, she think's I'm too paranoid.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I get my nose bent over rude teenagers who don't look at you when you speak to them, mumble and mutter and act like you are invading their space by simply being. Smark-alecks. Dang...my kids are little but if I EVER!!!!!! see or hear of them talking to adults the way I have seen teens talk, OMGosh. Not my kids...they won't leave the house for a week if they even attempt such attitudes! gggrrrr

there, that's better. This has turned into a very therapeutic thread. I'm sure I'll think of more and it will be a blessing to post it! :mad:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some people DO PB because they do not listen to the advice of their doctors. BUT... It's a rare bandster that has NEVER done it, ever.

Hiyas Donali :wave:

*big dorkie smile* You know, I do know this. My wording just sucked.

I have talked to folks who have been banded six months or even more who've never had a PB. That's what I was referring to. Didn't mean to imply that everyone who has PB'd wasn't following doc's orders.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Now, what is currently bending my nose out of shape: People that only loot the good stuff out of chests, and don't help when you are being ganked by a bunch of mobs.

.... omg you play World of Warcraft !!!!! :mad: (or some other MMORPG but this sounds like Warcraft to me *nod*nod*)

me too me too me too.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×