Extra Skin And Depression

[Lissiepoo 3]

Anyone else feeling depressed about extra skin?? I am really trying to keep positive and know that I can start talking to a plastic surgeon soon. But lately its been really hard!! Looking in the mirror and all you see is extra skin!!! Its gross to me. Even though my boyfriend constantly tells me how beautiful I am its like I dont believe him.

How do I even deal with this? its been 2 weeks of me feeling disgusted with myself. Ive tried looking back at pre surgery pictures and those are also disgusting but its not helping!!

Is this a normal phase??

[stateofzen 46]

I think the way we view our bodies is a choice, and only you (not your boyfriend, best friend or me) can truly choose how you're going to live in your own body. If you choose to focus on the loose skin and the imperfections, and allow yourself to stare in the mirror and beat yourself up mentally, then you're going to feel bad. Instead, when you have those negative thoughts, you can make a conscious effort to "talk some sense" into yourself. That loose skin is a battle scar of a battle WON. If you can work on accepting that your body is not perfect, but it's YOURS and it's amazing, then you'll feel better.

I look pretty dang good in clothes, but not so good naked. My breasts bother me the most (if I let them), because they are 90-year-old breasts on a mid-thirties woman. I do plan to fix them when I can afford it, but until then, I work on accepting them. I treat myself to really really good bras that make them look awesome, and I've moved to the point where 95% of the time, I accept them and can even make jokes (that even I find funny- not defensive jokes) about them to my husband and close friends. The other thing I do is catch my own negative talk (i.e. ewww, my boobs are so disgusting!) and choose to be more balanced (i.e. ok, so they don't look great BUT wow, I don't have back pain anymore, I can see my ribcage under them, I wear a much smaller bra and they DO look good in a bra/clothes, plus, I can be active without being bothered by my enormous fat breasts so it's not as bad as it seems). This helps me a lot.

It is up to you to work on accepting yourself, and you have to do that consciously by monitoring your thoughts about your body and not allowing yourself to be your own worst enemy.

[Lissiepoo 3]

I look damn good in clothes too.... its the naked part!! and I really try to not let it go but its just all there!! I know I need to try and be positive since I only have 30 pounds left before I start talking to a plastic surgeon!!

[readytogoforit 172]

stateofzen I love your attitude!! you are so right, if we let the little things get us down we are still losers. (hard to say that!!)

Gratitude for all of the work I do each day and for the last 5 1/2 mths. Each day is a wonderful miracle. I thank God for directing me down this path. Nothing happens by accident, nothing.

[54Shirley 105]

I agree with stateofzen about 95% of the way.. Buy the way if that is you on the pic. You look GREAT !

I go by first impressions Possitive or Negative. The Mirror does not lie, and people, well when you walk into a room, and they are saying Wow ! Don't you look nice. That means something ! The brain hasn't had the time to process a thought about it yet, so the impression comes out instead. That's what counts. Once the the thought process kicks in, it can all be B.S. then anyway.

So I don't worry about it then.

If I walk pass a Mirror, and I take a glance, and like what I see, Hey ! I'm Happy !, But ? If I don't like it, and I change cloths 3-4 times, just to try to make myself Happy, and it don't work ! Then it's over for me. Thought has kicked in, and I won't be happy at all. So then I will look closely in the Mirror. 9 out of 10 times it will be tied it to Water RETENTION, Face it, when your blown up from Water, you don't look good at all. At least I don't..

Undressed ! I'm a mess ! Could end up needing a total body lift someday, but I don't see that happening.

So clothing helps hide everything for me.

I know what you mean about 90 yr. old Boobs ! Mine is a 80-90 yr. old everything.

The rest of it I agree with.

[Cazzy 725]

I think we need a special club for all of us who carry this 'battle scar' around with us, as u can imagine with the amount of weight i have lost i am carrying another persons skin with me, i dislike it intensly but i would rather loose skin than it be filled again. The things that annoy is my legs, i hate my legs, my tummy i can hide but omg legs look awful, so i wont go swimming and i wont wear shorts thank god for spandex lol

but i accept that it was a side effect. What gets me most tho is my face, when i was heavy the round face made me look younger, now i see a thin face, with lines showing and i feel old i know i am getting old, but facially i never felt it before, sigh but as the scales reduce my happiness comes from within, i know the skin is surface deep but its not as important as what i feel inside so i will sort it out gradually as and when i can afford it but till i can i do what i can to live with it

[dream716 1]

I felt the same way, but think Positive!!!!! Your coming a longway with wonderfull results. You Feel Good and You Look good. The extra skin is the last part of this jounary and a minor part for the great appearance you presently have. Just think where you started and to think would you have ever gotten this far, specially you your boyfriends support. The next stag will just be another prize for you... YOuR Nunber ONE!!!

Anyone else feeling depressed about extra skin?? I am really trying to keep positive and know that I can start talking to a plastic surgeon soon. But lately its been really hard!! Looking in the mirror and all you see is extra skin!!! Its gross to me. Even though my boyfriend constantly tells me how beautiful I am its like I dont believe him.

How do I even deal with this? its been 2 weeks of me feeling disgusted with myself. Ive tried looking back at pre surgery pictures and those are also disgusting but its not helping!!

Is this a normal phase??

[54Shirley 105]

Yes we do need a special CLUB ! Call it The Skinn- EEE ! Club.

I know how you feel, I carry my Cross with me 24 /7...

I am still Delighted that I had this surgery, and that the weight is coming off.

[Cazzy 725]

lol shirley great name for a club !!

[PattyGirl66 1,243]

Stateofzen really puts this conversation about 'sagging' skin into perspective. I sag now from my weight and probably will sag even more. I look great in clothes that hide my imperfections, my husband loves me unconditionally (even at this weight). What more could I ask for, except to lose weight, be successful and doing that and keeping it off. I want to be healthy, nothing more nothing less. I could give a rats azz what people think about me when they look at me (well they won't be looking at me nakid), lol. Beauty is confidence, and you would be surprised how many men love confident woman. When I was single I was over 300 pounds and had many dates and yes they saw me naked, they didn't run.

Remember sexy is not how you look, its about attitude. For now, we have to learn to 'accept' and love ourselves no matter what....

PS: You look great and you should be proud of how far you have come!

[54Shirley 105]

Thanks ! Glad you like it Cazzy.

All we need now are members.

LOL

[54Shirley 105]

When I worked in Foster Care in Detroit. I new the staff in the Burn Unit at Childrens Hospital in Detroit. I also new the Chief Surgeon.

We talked about weight loss, and he told me that skin is a Organ, and if I would donate all that he could take, he would perform the surgery for FREE !

I asked if he was serious, and he said when your ready, just give me a call Shirley.

I asked about the Hospital stay, and he said nothing to worry about, it would be taken care of.

I hope he's still there when i loose more of this weight.

Because I think I will give him a call. I just have to hope that he is still there, and that he remembers me.

Throwing that thought your way if you want to enquire at a Burn Unit as a Donor... God knows that they need it.

[elcee 3,340]

I also look great in clothes but don't look so good naked. I don't have lots of extra skin but I would love a TT , boob lift etc. Problem is I can't afford them.

Now the only person who sees me naked (except on rare occasions) is my husband. He is more than happy with what he sees. If I look at him naked he's not perfect either. So I figure that maybe it's not so bad.

If you have the funds to afford plastic surgery in the future great, if you don't then stop stressing, appreciate how far you have come and how beautiful you really are and relish in the fact that you have a partner that loves you imperfections and all.

[journey4me 23]

@ 54shirley that's a great idea to donate skin to the burn unit. Would be nice if that was possible. Can you imagine how much skin we could donate! I just might look into that.

[m1aman 944]

I hope to have a lot of loose skin. It will show me how healthy I have become!