Negative Attitudes regarding Plastic Surgery?

[Lori_K 0]

I just got home after my Abdominoplasty (tummy tuck) and panniculectomy (removal of excessive skin of the abdomen). Brutal surgery, I'm exhausted and in a lot of pain. I knew this before surgery, so I'm trying to get a lot of rest and take my pain pills around the clock.

First, I know I did this for myself, not for anyone else. Only I knew how I felt carrying around that extra flab of skin hanging off my stomach. I did this for my comfort, and not for "vanity". Even if I did do it for vanity, what business is it of anyone else? Don't we dye our hair when grays come in, wear make-up, nice clothes, pluck eye brows and have hair removal waxes? I don't feel my age, after losing 100 pounds I feel 10 years younger. That flab of skin was slowing me down, and making my back ache. Why should I "just accept the body I'm in"?

Anyway, I'm getting a "cold shoulder" from some family and friends, who otherwise were very supportive about my lap-band surgery. "You look fine, you don't need this surgery", (for example), and friends who don't call (or won't reply to my calls/text messages), like they did for other surgeries I've had (and I did the same for them).

It could be just this time of the year, Memorial Day and such, but it just seems strange. Luckily, my husband is supportive, and as I mentioned I did this for my own comfort. I do miss the comfort of friends and family - even if its just a "how are you doing". Nothing more.

Anyone else experience this, or have similar troubles? It seems plastic surgery gets a bad rap, I really don't understand it.

[elcee 3,340]

I haven't had plastic surgery but I do feel sorry for you. Most of then are probably jealous and jealousy makes you nasty.

Quite strange that you say plastic surgery gets a bad rap as I had thought it was more widely accepted than WLS.

[mauraclegg 29]

I haven't had my TT yet- it's scheduled for next month, but I do know what u mean. I also did my surgery for me, just as my TT is for me. I am not comfortable with my hanging tummy it makes me self-conscious- no matter how much weight I have lost. I had a good friend who started drifting away once I started losing. She is still heavy and does nothing about it. And it's not like I don't see her - we are neighbors, our kids play together, and my husband and her boyfriend are friends.

My point is that when people drift after WLS it is their personal issue. Don't stress. Be proud of yourself and all you have done

[Lori_K 0]

Thanks for your responses and help Elcee and Mauraclegg! I agree it could be jealousy elcee, but the people mainly ignoring me shouldn't be jealous - they are thin. I do know why my husband's family has turned away . . . they feel I'm "making their brother work too hard', because he's been very supportive and helping me with everything. There's a party on his side of the family today, and HE opted not to go, because he felt I wasn't strong enough to be on my own yet. He's not complaining at all, so I don't know why his family is acting this way. We've had good relations, now it seems all turned around . . . it just hurts I guess. Mauraclegg, I have a girlfriend of 30 years, she is heavy, and says she is "not ready to do something about it yet". I do know she feels more uncomfortable around me now. I want to see her and do lunch like we used to, but it seems now she has other friends and things to do when I ask to get together. I could be misinterpreting things, but as I stay home and recover it's hard not to get a reply from an email I sent or a phone call.

I guess I'll just keep on keepin' on, nothing much more I can do. Mauraclegg, good luck with your surgery! I'm still swollen and sore, but it's still the first week for me. I can see those flabs of skin gone - I'm gonna LOVE it when all this heals.

[mauraclegg 29]

Lori,

I know when I was recovering from my band (I had a longer than normal recovery because of a slip & rebanding) I spent a lot of time on Facebook having fun with my games and my facebook friends. Feel free to add me if you are on there too, or shoot me an email if you are bored or lonley - we are part of the same banding club

[sndycnrd 1]

Lori, I am sorry you are experiencing this. I have not had any negative to my TT, which I just had 10 days ago. Everyone has been positive and reassuring. Try to make it to the next family party and be friendly and outgoing. I bet all will be forgotten by then. Consider yourself lucky to have such a wonderful husband. Unfortunately, while you can pick your husband you can't pick his family. I wouldn't waste too much time or energy on it. Enjoy the new you, be happy and your happiness will be infectious.