I am noticing that I have to tell people sorry I can't eat that way any more.

My husband and I went out to eat alot, twice a week at least. We also really enjoyed cooking. Since being banded, I have noticed that I have to continually remind him I can't eat that way. I am having a really hard time setting a boundry with him. I almost feel too guilty to say no. I feel that I really need to talk to him but I don't want to hurt his feelings. I think we need a hobby together something active that doesnt revovle around food.

I would appreciate any input..:rolleyes2:

This happens to me alot :rolleyes2: I was also a frequent "out to eat" person. My spouse now often forgets or can make a remark about "we cant eat there bc you cant eat" it gets frustrating at times.. but he has never battled weight and just doesnt understand sometimes. Hang in there it will get better

You will just have to talk to him. I can still eat a good bit so its not that I am frustrated that I cant eat but that I CAN and I find when I go out to eat I eat more than I should. and I love to eat out and that is something me and my husband always enjoyed. we still go now but not as much and I try to stick with ordering healthy when we do and there has been times that I just go with him, get a drink and just sit and talk while he eats. I still cook with him every night...the one thiing I CANT do like we used to do all the time on weekends is watch the friggin food network!! that channel makes me hungry and want to eat every time I watch it..I really want to watch it but i find i just cant or I will fight the urge to eat. I would reccomend talkign to him and scaling back some or if your not hungry and cant eat much just go and get something very light like a side salad and sit and enjoy the conversation and time with him:)

This happens a lot at my house. However, so does the opposite, where my DH acts like he knows EVERYTHING about the band and about my body. Sometimes at dinner, he says, "Don't over do it." and that pisses me off to no end. I know he is trying to be helpful, but OMG! Then, he wants to go to Five Guys for burgers! It is so confusing! That being said, he has been really supportive. I just have to keep telling myself that he doesn't really understand what I have been through the last ten years, and I am going to have to deal with that as well.

We hardly ever eat out anymore because I never know how my band is going to behave...even with foods that previously had given me no trouble.

When I'm out with others, I just order what I know I can eat and I don't bother with explanations.

I mean, think about it...if a skinny person orders a salad with grilled chicken, hold the croutons and refused the bread, nobody would ask why they didn't get the croutons or bread. Ok, polite people wouldn't ask even if they might wonder in their heads.

Yet if an obese person passes on dessert, croutons, bread, etc., people think they have the right to an explanation. Uh...don't think so. If someone is rude enough to ask, "why aren't you eating bread", I usually respond with, "Why didn't you order an appetizer?" (or something similar). Their response would most likely because they didn't want it. Well, duh.

Sorry for the rant.

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In the same vein as ElfiePoo's response...when an obese person doesn't order dessert or an appetizer, the significant other or friend replies, "Good for you!" UGH! That is also irritating!

We tend to collect a lot of doggie bags in our fridge now. :rolleyes2:

I can sometimes make 2 or 3 meals out of one. Or, my hubby gets a lot of leftovers. Anyway, I just try to accomodate him and order what works for me.

I don't like it when people comment on what I'm eating, in a positive or in a negative way. My father is famous for that. I know he's just trying to be supportive, and he is encouraging in many ways. He is always telling me how good I look. I have a good friend who misses going out to eat with me. I didn't really go out when I was loosing, now that I am maintaining I go out once in a while. We have found other things to do together such as movies and shopping.

I would talk to your husband for sure. Let him know you need to just kind of do what you need to do without comments from him. You are in control of what you put in your mouth. Don't feel guilty about not eating certain foods, be proud of yourself for making healthy choices. I think you are right about developing new hobbies you can do together. Maybe dance lessons? You would be burning calories and spending quality time with your husband. Some kind of art activity like painting or pottery might also be fun. Another idea is just enjoying quiet time at home, maybe playing a game or two. Best wishes and keep up posted on how it goes.

I guess we are truly lucky we don't have to experience this as I was banded in July and my wife was banded in Sept, so she has kinda learned from me and then I help her as she is learning from actual experience.

There is a lady that was banded the same day as my wife who we stay in contact with and her husband is not and she is having a lot of the same issues as stated above.

First of all, HUGS. It is annoying and sometimes when people think they are being helpful or just curious, they become annoying. My husband keeps asking me, "is it okay for you to eat that?" I tell him, "if it isn't that is my problem not yours, so please don't continue to ask."

We still go out to eat but I usually don't order anything. Newly banded I can really only have mushy right now which, I don't want to carb load on potatoes or anything.

I think the most important thing is to sit down and talk. Explain things in the best way you can but one can not control anothers actions or behaviors. Be prepared for him to be the way he is and work around it.

My husband is considering seeing if he qualifies for banding. If he does, this could save him and I a lot of heartache in the long run. I think it is important if you have support meetings in your area, to bring your husband with you!

This is my situation now too. I still go out and still enjoy foods that I like and can tolerate just in much smaller quantities. I look at it as being economical.

We tend to collect a lot of doggie bags in our fridge now.

My husband and I still try to cook together-- I just don't eat everything we cook Last night, I made chicken parmigiana with spaghetti. I had a chicken breast with some marinara on top, and he got the full she-bang. When I make him chicken quesadilla, I just eat the chicken with salsa/etc. and leave the tortilla and most of the cheese out of the equation. You might be able to find food you can cook together still-- you just don't have to eat everything you cook.

What I can't stand is when my husband wants to go out and I ask him where he wants to go, he says "I don't know, where can you find something you can have?" On the one hand that's sweet, but I can't tell you how many times I've told him EVERYWHERE we like to eat has something I can have. I mean heck, even Pasta places always have a fish dish. He has been so supportive that I don't want him to feel like he always has to restrict his own desires for me-- I'm a big girl (less big now- hahaha) and I can always figure out something that works for me.

You want to hear something funny? I CATER for a living! LOL

My whole life is talking about food, planning food, shopping for food, making food - but, it doesn't control ME and what I eat.

Your husband will come around - it takes time for US to adjust and for our families to adjust. WE can feel what's happening to our bodies but they can't. Don't feel like you no longer can do those things (go out to eat). We do 2X a week - I just order less or share a meal now!

We tend to collect a lot of doggie bags in our fridge now.

I can sometimes make 2 or 3 meals out of one. Or, my hubby gets a lot of leftovers. Anyway, I just try to accomodate him and order what works for me.

Yes! I'm eating lunch right now - Chipotle bowl...and it will last me 4 meals!

I am really thankful to everyone who replied to this post. It really helps me to see I am not alone..

Absolutely, you are not alone! We all in one way or the other have our challenges. I have learned as some others have too that when we go out, i pick what I can eat from the menu. I use the bread plate for my dinner plate and take the rest home. One of two things will happen to the food either I have a week's worth of meals or the dog is a happy camper. We have now incorporated into our nights out a walk before we eat and after we eat this way we can enjoy each other without food. I think it is apart of the learning experience of being banded and learning how to live with certain constraints while re-blending our new life together as a family. Mind you this process has not been easy for any of us to adapt to, but we continue to try.