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Grieving for food loss?



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Guest llilly

Sultana,

I am two weeks post-op and haven't had anything solid like eggs or cottage cheese. The dietician won't even let me have pureed foods until the fourth week post-op when baby food comes in handy.

I have six "meals" a day and that makes it seem like I am eating constantly. All have some sort of Protein supplement added. None of the meals are over 4 oz.

It took me more than a week to get rid of the Water weight from surgery. I actually weighed more at my one week check up because of the Water weight.

It helps me to track calories and Protein at fitday.com. I have between 40 and 60 grams of protein daily and average around 970 calories at this point which is within my dietician's recommendations.

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Hi LLily,

Geez, your plan sure is much stricter than mine. I am following what my doctor's nutritionist gave me, and I am allowed scrambled or soft-boiled eggs and cottage cheese. As a matter of fact, it says I can eat anything as long as I puree it-even pureed meat loaf!. Last night I had pureed Won Ton Soup. Who is your doctor? Did you get a regular lap band? Were there any special circumstances involved in your surgery? At four weeks I will be going off pureed foods onto solid foods! I guess all doctors are different, eh?

I had Water weight too, but I have gotten rid of much of it. I am still getting migraine-like headaches, and I know that is from Water weight. I hope you are doing well, and thanks for sharing!

Sultana

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Guest llilly

My doctor is J. Kane, Jr. in IL. This is their usual lap-band post-op diet. My band is the adjustable gastric band by Inamed, so there aren't any unusual things there.

I think the purpose is to keep solid particles from hitting my bruised stomach and creating ulcers, to have the stomach take it easy so scar tissue forms over the band anchoring it in place, and to not stretch the little stomach over 4 oz.

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Sultana,

Every single doctor has a different idea of what the newly banded should eat. My doctor recommended liquids the first couple weeks and then smooth and mushy foods until about week six. That was why I was living on hot and sour Soup. I needed something to chew before I went nuts! ;-)

Do you have any blood sugar issues? Those headaches could be from low blood sugar - you are not getting as many calories and sugars as you are used to. You might want to use fitday.com to check and make sure you are meeting your daily requirements - you would be surprised how easy it is to *undereat* during this phase of your diet. Are you taking any Vitamin suppliments?

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Hi Kiera,

I checked out the syrups and I am going to order--my husband is diabetic (and thin!!) so he will use them too. I am 50 (barely), but very young at heart, and from the hippie generation.

I am hardly constipated. I have had very loose bowel movements from day one! Of course prior to the surgery I never had a Constipation problem either. I have been eating pureed vegetables, so maybe that helps. I hope it doesn't become a problem. oatmeal? That is listed as something I can eat now, but I haven't; it seems so....sticky!! I guess I could thin it like you suggest. Thanks for the web sites--we should start a section just for product web sites, huh? How do you like my new sign off??!!

Sultana

12/29/03 Dr. Kurian NYC

318/314/175

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Sultana,

I am glad I could turn you on to something you and your DH can both use! I really like these syrups. My husband is particularly touchy with artificial sweetners (picture major puckerface and you have what he does anytime he tastes anything diet ;) ) - surprisingly anything with splenda (and these syrups in particular) have passed his fake sweetner sensor with flying colors! :D

You might want to check if they are for sale anywhere in your area. The shipping can be quite costly. I have also hear from a couple people I converse with online that the bottles are cheaper at some of these outlets - like $6 per bottle instead of $7.50. Chances are though that the stores wont have all the flavors - that's always the way. Below is the list of places that sell these SF syrups (from the davinci FAQ page ;-) I only order mailorder because I am in Belgium and have not seen any similar products here yet...

Albertson’s_________

Bi-Lo (SC)

Bruno’s (AL)

Dillons

Gordman’s

Kroger

King Sooper

Larry’s Market

Marshalls

Pick N Save (WI)

Price Chopper (NJ)

Ross

Ralph’s (CA)

Safeway

Super Wal-Mart

TJMaxx

Woodman’s

QFC

I use the instant three minute oatmeal. It does not seem quite a sticky as the conventional stuff. It might help with the looseness you are experiencing too - by simply adding some bulk in there. Try just a little bit at first and see how you tolerate it. Dont eat more than a half a cup in the first sitting - 1/4 is you are worried. If that works then you are set to go. ;-)

I like the new siggy. Here is to watching that middle number slide on down toward the end one! ;D

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Hi Kiera and Sultana,

I just had to jump in on this post to say thank you. You have both given me a lot to think about as I move through this process... I am trying to stay positive and take to heart all feedback and advice.

I am still pre-band, just got my insurance approval and surgery date (2/3/04)... and although I did a lot of research and know that this is the right decision, I didn't feel the excitement I thought I would when I got my approval. My mom was more excited than I was! I tried to explore my feelings and finally realized that I was so positive that insurance was going to deny me because I REALLY don't NEED WLS to help me lose weight. I guess in the back of my mind I was have always viewed WLS as a last result... something that I would never need because one day I was going to be successful at losing weight through diet and exercise. Well, yes... I can be successful with diet and exercise... but I ALWAYS gain the weight back. Getting the referral from my PCP, seeing and surgeon, getting insurance approval and my surgery date all happened in about a 2 month period and the whole time I was preparing myself for a fight. I thought I was going to have to prove to all of them that I NEED this because they were ALL going to tell me that if I just tried a little harder I could do it by myself. Initially, the approval made me feel like a failure... like the world was saying I couldn't do this by myself and I did NEED help.

I thought about this more and began to realize that I am in denial. When I look back at all my past weight loss attempts, I have been trying to lose weight and keep it off for 28 years. I stopped major binging some years back and I know all about nutrition and eating healthy for life... I exercise 3-5 times per week for 1 to 1.5 hours... but unless I restrict my calories to less than 1,500 per day I do not lose weight and I haven't been successful at maintaining this lifestyle for any length of time. I end up feeling deprived and go back to larger portions.

I appreciate this forum for letting my share my thoughts and feelings. I know that this is the right decision for me and I am already starting to feel more excited about my future thanks to the great posts by people like you and the others on this site.

Thanks for listening.

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Anne,

It is good that you see that now. Don't be afraid of those feelings - this is a good time to bring them out and hold them up to the strong light of day and get in touch with them.

I did not do that before surgery because the process moved so quickly for me. It hit me a few days after I got home from the hospital and I had a very serious depression that was hard to shake off. I found myself feeling like a complete screw up. I too had been in denial and once it was over I could no longer hide it from myself. The time to be thinking about all this stuff is NOT when you are already miserable and have low blood sugar! ;)

Just be careful not to pile it on too deep for yourself. It is not weakness to ask for help and that is what the band is - help. It's sort of a built in coach - or a traffic cop on your eating. but without the annoying nagging and guilt trips. ;-)

My mom and grandma were MORE excited than I was too. So excited that it was a bit annoying really!!! I was like, "ok - I get it - I AM FAT. LOL, leave me alone!" I was a little insulted but I knew they meant well. hehehe, it is a bit funny now when I think about it.

You at least have the exercise going. For me that is more of the problem than the food. I just HATE to exercise and to sweat and huff and puff. It is a battle just to get myself to go outside if I think there is exercise out there waiting for me. I have managed to lose all of my weight so far without it but it is really slowing down and I must get my butt moving or I am going to stall, and I know it. If exercise is something you like then the band is probably going to be a good success for you.

One of the things I suggest you do now is to start a journal - write about what you eat and the reasons you eat it. Examine what triggers you to eat - are your issues with food about Portion Control or binges or what (you don't have to post that - just get a handle on it for your own peace of mind). If it is mostly a matter of portion control (which was always my problem) then the band is an excellent choice. If you have issues with eating tons of sweets then the band will be more of a challenge to you (but that does NOT mean it won't help). That is why I suggest examining when, why and how you eat. That way you will be able to come up with strategies to help you overcome your issues and reallly make this band a success.

I hope that makes sense. I don't say any of that to scare you off - but to help you to flesh out your monsters so you can fight them when the time comes. You will do fine. Focus on what you do right too - don't forget that part. The exercise, the seeking help when you know that you need it. Those are strengths and don't you forget it it! Ok? ;-)

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Guest llilly

I am still on full liquids (16 days post op) and take in 4 oz at three meals and three Snacks then liquids like herb tea the rest of the time. For a full liquid meal I take some Protein Shake or Soup with Protein Powder added or broth with baby food meat so that it is soupy. I can honestly say I am not hungry but that I do crave my old favorites occasionally.

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Hi Kiera,

Thank you for the very sound advice... I have been telling myself for about 3 days now to start a journal. All these thoughts have been running through my head. I find that when I am exercising I have nothing to do but "think, think, think"... unfortunately since I am not writing these things down and exploring the feelings to the fullest I tend to forget... or maybe I choose to forget ;)

I am not a big sweet eater... only hits me every once in a while when I am having a major PMS episode. I have also been successful at overcoming the urge to binge, but my battle has always been Portion Control and this is why I agree that the Lap-Band will be the tool I need.

You really hit it on the nail when you mentioned that it is not a weakness to ask for help! This is exactly how I feel, not just about my weight... but about everything in my life. I have the most difficult time asking for assistance. I think I am afraid of "others letting me down", I guess it stems from major trust issues. I have to do everything by myself so that no one hurts me. I have to admit that I am getting a little better now that I recognize this as an issue... but getting approved for my Lap-Band so quickly and without much effort brought back those feelings of being weak because I can't do it by myself.

Thanks so much for your comments and suggestions. I am going to start using FitDay (www.fitday.com) again and their online journal to track my eating and feelings... I won't let the feelings overwhelm me... but I will embrace this journey and go with the flow.

Hope you have a great day!

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Hi Anne,

I think that the fact that you can be so introspective is a real plus. Many people never, or rarely, stop to question themselves about why they think or do things. I too do not like to ask for help, but for a different reason; it makes me feel inadequate. I am a control freak, and a very strong person, so that asking for help makes me feel....weak. It's really a kind of male thing, I guess, without getting sexist.

I look at the lap band like this. I have a disease, and this is what I need to help me--my "medication" if you will. My body just does not process food the way someone who has a normal metabolism does. I think you sound like an excellent candidate for the band because Portion Control is your problem, and that is the band's strength (if you use it right!!). I exercise too, and I always have. I am only 1 week post op and can't exercise for at least another week (I hope I'll get the okay at my 2 week check-up). I think it put off some weight- related issues that may have occured sooner! We will have to convince Kiera, huh??

I agree that journaling can be valuable. Ironically, I TEACH writing, and I do not journal myself even though I urge my students to. I think I am in writing overload.

You know, I think maybe we have switched to what started in the "food" section to what should be "support", but I don't know how to move it there! At any rate, forgive my rambling, and stay positive. Keep in contact with Kiera; she is a wealth of information and very willing to share!

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Hey Sultane! Don't be so hard on yourself!

If you are like me and VERY sensitive to drugs, you are probably coming out of a morphine hight, which left me with a throbing headache for three days!

Also I did not eat anything but liguids for 10 days.

And yes, I mourn at least once a week for old habbits die hard!

And YES we are ALL NUTS! Who wouldn't be. We have had more heartaches because of our weight than anyone, yet we crave the thing that made us so unhappy! And a DR. of PHYS. says we are normal! LOL

Well Best of Health to you all! MB

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Thank you Mary Beth for your support. I appreciate it! I wonder if the food grieving will lessen over time? I suspect so--HOPE so.

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Hi Sultana,

Thank you for your supportive comments. I think you are right about this being a disease and the Lap-Band the medicine. I can also relate to your comments about being a control freak... I guess I don't want to really admit it, but I think that fits me as well. Oh boy... just one more thing I need to explore... This can be tiring!:)

I have recently joined Kiera's LapBandits Forum and I left her a message telling her that I agree with you. She is very knowledgeable and a great support. And so are YOU! So with that, I will close.

Have a great day!

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