I'm really scared

[Sunta 4]

Hi,

I am still pretty new here, have only posted twice. Anyway... I am not banded yet, but I have met with the surgeon and have set up both the cardiologist and the pulmonologist appointments. Well, today the surgeon called me and asked me at which of his facilities I want to have my surgery done, and I got this weird horrible feeling like "OMG! It might really happen! What am I thinking??? I can't do this!"

I'm mostly afraid, terrified actually, of having issues like horrible acid reflux, difficulty swallowing, PB'ing, not being able to stick the four week post-op liquid diet and thus messing somehing up, scared about my esophagus, not being able to eat foods like rice (I love sushi) and bread. Just alot of anxiety I guess. I am very suggestible and if I even start thinking about throat problems, then I immediately feel a lump in my throat. If I think about acid reflux, I feel a burning in my chest. I know, I should probably be on Zoloft for obsessibe worry, but then again, I gained 45 pounds when I was in it and that's why I had to quit! LOL.

Anyway, it would help alot if I could hear from some of you that yes, you have the band, and it does what it's supposed to do and you're not in constant discomfort all the time and if you didn't know you had it, and you weren't eating food, you wouldn't even know you had it, get my drift? I need reassurance that I will still feel like healthy, happy me, with no constant reminder that the band is there like acid reflux or difficulty swallowing. That if you're not eating, you can't feel it and don't think about it, you know?

I know there's no promise I won't have side effects, but if I could hear that it's possible, I would feel better. I want to be able to lie down in bed at night and just relax and be happy and not think about the band at all because I feel no physical symptoms from it. Does that make sense?

I know I'm neurotic but hearing from some of you who don't have any problems would help me out a lot.

Thanks!

[HeatherGurl 0]

I am having some of the same thoughts as you. I will be banded Nov 9. I think I have just realized that I am a lot more aftraid of what is going to happen to me if I don't have it done.

You should really tell your Dr. and his/her staff all of your concerns. I am sure they will be able to help you.

Also, if you are so worried, why not wait a little longer...

Sorry, I am not too much help, but you will get through this.

[banded_for_life 2]

Hi Sunta, I was banded on 9/23 and I have had no problems with my band at all. That is not to say that I won't in the future. I eat anything that I want right now because I have a VG band and have had only one fill so far. Again, I am sure that will all change once I have some restriction in my band. Just have to relax and take it one day at a time. :-)

[Road Queen 0]

Sunta, everyone has times where they worry. If you read around the threads today you will find a great posting on losing your best friend - food.

Do I think about my band all the time - no. Did I used to think about food all the time - yes. Did it change my lifestyle - eating out 2-3 times a week, socializing over a drink, etc - no. Do I spend more time focusing on my friends and conversation when we are together - yes (and less about what I'm going to eat next).

I was more worried about what was going to happen to me if I didn't get the band and use the tool to lose and maintain weight loss. I went through heart problems, anyerism, diabetes, dialysis, etc with my dad and many of my relatives have similar issues. I hope to have a healthy body as I age and weight loss will help me.

When something is irritating - overfill, pb, excessive tightness, etc, - I just have resolves to concentrate on how much life has improved. Plenty of people (my family) focus on illness, discomfort, hypochondriac, etc. I have made an effort to continue to focus on the positive. You can get through any negatives but nothing will make you appreciate it if you don't have a positive attitude.

Didn't mean to lecture but I hope this answers your questions. Oops, response to last question - unless I have issues or are extremely bored, I don't think about my rubber band buddy.:mad:

[leatha_g 4]

I love my band, so much more than my existence BEFORE the band that I can't even articulate it in words. Have I had issues with my band? Yes. I've been banded twice due to slippage. I have had A episode of nighttime reflux. I have had two instances of being too tight - so I had it fixed. These are mere DAYS out of 2 great years that I might not have had if I had continued with the health I had before banding. If I had it to do all over again, I'd sure do it, only sooner and with more enthusiasm, but of course, every journey is a personal one. I wish you peace with the one you choose.. :mad:

[thinkthin 0]

I remember, I remember very well all these thoughts and fears swirling around in my head . . . sometimes getting myself whipped up into a froth (like a cappuccino) that I could hardly think straight! But you know, I don't have these thoughts anymore, because the band has really and truly been, for me, easy, helpful, and my friend.

I never thought I'd get through the pre-op and post-op diet . . . but I did, and the initial weight loss was so rewarding! You will too!

I thought it would be horrible to have pain or PB or feel restriction . . . its not that bad, I've learned from it, and it doesn't happen all the time, it is not like vomitting when you're sick, and any pain I've had hasn't lasted long at all. I've been fortunate.

I have no problems, not one, with acid reflux (maybe because I'm eating healthier). I cannot "feel" the band inside me and I don't notice it most of the time.

I do eat rice sometimes (I know I'm really not supposed to, but its all about what you can tolerate). I love sushi too, but haven't tried it, but I bet it would be OK without the seaweed. I do eat a little bread, and its OK.

I have read the postings here, and there are horror stories. I was afraid (still am at times) that this wouldn't work, that it would damage myself, regret it, etc. etc. But I'm sure that I am not the only one that is happy with the band and that it has gone well for. Each day, I can tell that without this tool, I'd still be 312 lbs or more, and I would feel defeated, depressed, and out of control. Just as the Road Queen said - it has changed my focus on food so much so that now I'm getting free (its a process) of all that weight/food stuff swirling around in my head.

I was very scared of doing this . . . but I was also so fed up and knew that I had to do something drastic. I'm so grateful to have this option available to me, I believe that it has, and will forever, change my life! Because I was so fed up, I was determined to work with this, not against it, and give this everything I've got. I've never been able to stick to a diet or exercise, but this time, I have hope. For the first time, maybe, I really have hope. There is hope for you too . . .

[heatherfeather 0]

I am struggling with the exact same thing as you...well similar anyway. I don't have the band yet, no appt either...the reason being fear. I need to lose about 70 pounds and I don't know if it is worth the risk. But I am so tired of fighting this battle. If I don't do something different, I know I will just keep gaining. I too am afraid that I might get this band and always be sick because of it or in constant pain...don't know why I think that. I just wish I knew that I would be okay. And then you hear of people who have to get their bands removed and that makes it worse. Still, I want to do this and I guess that is why I am still hanging around trying to make my resolve. I know that doesn't help you much, except to say that you are not alone.

[kat72 0]

Sunta, I understand your fears and concerns. I too have had the same exact ones (and then some). For me, it took a lot of soul searching and honest answers to the questions in my head for me to finally make my decision of getting the band. I had been contemplating weightloss surgery for about a month before I came across the info. on the lap band. I had been so down about my weight issues that I was on anti-deprressants for depression and I was even contemplating a gastric bypass, even though I had read up on some very scary things that had happened to some patients. When I read up on the band, I felt as if I had found something that I might be able to mentally and emotionally handle. I felt, from my first time reading about it, that I had finally found something to aid me in my weight loss struggle. It just all seemed right. I felt that maybe this would be the route for ME to take. I am in no way criticizing the gastric bypass. I have a few friends that have had it done, and each one feels that they made the right choice and says that they would do it again in a heartbeat. However, I was not emotionally ready to deal with that particular surgery. Even though I have decided to go through with my surgery this Mon., I am still not 100% sure that I am making the right decision or that I will suffer no ill side effects from the band. I am still horrified at the thought of getting the band, mostly because of all that can and does go wrong with it as well as the horror stories that I have read here on the site. I mean, I will be walking around with a foreign object in my body for who knows how long?! That scares the sh!+ out of me. However, I am so fed up with being unsuccessful at long-term weight loss as well as being depressed about my weight all of the time that I am willing to take a chance with the band. All I can do is hope that all goes well with my journey and that I will be successful with the tool that I receive. I hope that this has helped you in some way. Take your time with your decision, do lots and lots of research. Attend some weight loss surgery support group meetings if you have the opportunity to do so; they helped me a bunch! If it all seems to make sense, it's probably because it does. Yet, if it does NOT seem to all make sense, you probably are not ready to make this life changing decision. Take care. :mad:

[mercedes 0]

I used to have those thoughts too. I did it anyway and one thing I can say is that I feel almost exactly the same as before banding because I still have no fill. I eat everything I used to, just a little less. Once in a while I will feel restriction and have to slow dwn or stop. You will have no trouble sticking to the 4 week plan. I can't stay on diets, but this was different. The first week, you don't really mind the liquids because you just had surgery. You'll be hungry, but you'll drink a little and feel fine. The first week I could NOT get in more than 350 calories per day. By the second week your stomach has shrunk and you will barely be able to get the thick drinks in to equal 5-700 calories. It's just little steps and it's not like a diet.

You will be able to eat sushi (I do) after 5 or 6 weeks, but you'll eat it a tiny bite at a time. You may not be able to eat it after your first fill. You'll be amazed at how normal you still will be afterwards.

I am finally getting my first fill this Friday. I'm a little scared about slowing my eating again and chewing little bites thoroghly. I know I can do it. It's been 3 whole months and I'm still a BP virgin! This may change next week if I'm not really careful.

[makena2 0]

Heatherfeather - I too have about 70 or so to lose. I was banded one week ago today (11/3). Because of my little (#!$#@) weight to lose, I was a self-pay. It is and will be SO worth it. After years and years of yo-yo diets, slow metabolism, age, babies, etc., I was mentally ready to try something more dramatic. It takes the mental readiness as much if not more than the physical readiness. I didn't want to wait until I had high blood pressure, diabetes, blah, blah to get this done. It's an investment in ME. Good luck on your decision. This forum is a great place to get support.

[MerryHearted 20]

Hang in there Sunta. I'd recommend also talking to the therapist about this in your pre-op psych consult.

I've been banded since the end of August. I've had 2 fills and probably need another small one but I'm holding off til December due to an upcoming out of town vacation. The band so far does not restrict me from eating bread, rice, potatoes, Pasta or anything else like that, although I'm currently choosing to only eat those things in small quantities and not very often.

No acid reflex or esophageal problems (yet). No pbing or sliming (yet).

It's normal to be scared and almost everyone is at some point before their surgery. After all, this is a life changing thing.

There IS a possibility of some of those things happening to you. So you should approach this and any other surgery with caution. But I'm happy I made the decision to do this. (so far!)

[sleepyjean 0]

I'm so glad you started this thread! I've been having "cold feet" too. Most of the time, I feel that getting banded is absolutely the right thing to do. But every now and then, that little voice in my head goes "OHMIGAWD this is MAJOR SURGERY! What if something goes wrong???" I hate when that happens because then I start to doubt myself and believe all the crapola the never-been-fatties preach on: "You haven't lost weight because you haven't tried properly. If you really try, the weight will come off."

Shyeah.

But this forum helps a lot. It really does. I know in my case, it's given me courage and the strength to continue to pursue this even though it is a difficult and frustrating process. So even though I'm a newbie too, my advice is to come here and to keep coming here as much as you need to - both before and after you are banded. It's the one place you can count on EVERYONE understanding what you're going through.