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I agree with the other posters. And regarding hair loss, everyone seems to worry incessantly about that - I did, too, but in the grand scheme of things, it's such a small blip on the screen that I shouldn't have bothered wasting one brain cell on it. Some people don't lose any hair at all, and many don't lose enough for others to notice. Some do lose more significant amounts, but the hair loss is like shedding - not big clumps like you see in chemo patients. I wouldn't worry about it. It's a small price to pay for the benefit you get from the surgery, and again, you may only lose a little or none at all.

Oh at 6 days out I was still on liquids OP! Didn't get to puree until 2 weeks after my sleeve. Honestly - get as close as you can to your protein goal and don't worry too much about that. At this stage what matters most is not getting dehydrated, so focus on your fluids! Hair loss will happen because that's what our bodies do when we cut calories. Not sure what, if anything, stops that. It's not nice but it does stop eventually.

I echo it is your decision & your reasons are your own too. But if you go into it, still questioning your decision & aren’t completely ready to make the changes you have to make, it is highly likely the surgery won’t be successful for you in the long term. I hazard to say that 80% of our weight loss & then 99% of our maintenance is all down to our commitment & willingness to do the head work & make the permanent changes to our eating & relationship with food. The truth,& it’s a hard truth, is some people do regain a significant amount of weight again if you’re not 100% in, you’ll more likely experience this. I didn’t have any comorbidities but I knew they were in my future. I was almost 54 & menopause had done a number on me & my weight. I didn’t like it. I didn’t want to be the size I was emotionally, psychologically, physically & yes aesthetically too. I woke up day & said enough. Made an appointment with my doctor that day & about 5 weeks later I was being wheeled into surgery. Best decision. Haven’t looked back. Happily maintaining at 4.6yrs. But you have time to make your decision & you can only do what’s best for you at this time. Maybe ask your surgeon for a referral to a therapist & talk through your thoughts & feelings with them. And if you decide no now, it doesn’t mean you can’t do it in the future, All the best what ever you decide to do. PS - The hair loss is nothing in the big picture. Yes, it can be frustrating & depressing but it only lasts for about 3 months +/- . The hair your’re shedding is hair you would have lost anyway. It’s just your natural hair loss cycle is accelerated for a while. Your new hair is still growing as usual at its normal rate. It’s the stress of the surgery, dietary changes, hormonal flushes, anaesthetic. So don’t stress yourself more by overly worrying about the loss - you may make it worse. Many experience hair loss after pregnancy and other surgeries too. I lost a lot with a stressful time at work. So it could happen with many things. The only person who noticed my hair was a little thinner was me & my hairdresser. A year later it was pretty much back to how it was.

1). there are a lot more people who don't reach goal than there are who lose too much weight. Plus if you feel like you're losing too much weight, you can always increase your calories to put the brakes on it - or to start gaining. So I wouldn't worry about this one AT ALL. 2). fewer than 5% of people are able to lose weight and keep it off. You may be one of the lucky ones who can do that - and if so, and you're afraid of the surgery, it's not too late to pull out and try it on your own. I wasn't one of the lucky ones. I spent my first 55 years as overweight or obese. I gained and lost weight a million times and could never keep it off until I had weight loss surgery. 3). hair loss, if you experience it (and not everyone does), is temporary. I lost hair during months 5-8 post-surgery (so...for three months). It wasn't much, though. I could tell because there were more hairs in my combs and brushes, but I really didn't notice it at all when looking in the mirror, so I'm sure no one else noticed it. Plus hair loss after surgery is more like shedding - not huge clumps of loss like one might have after chemo. For a lot of people, they're the only ones who notice it. It's usually more loss of volume than noticeable "bald spots" - and it does grow back. to me, the risk of losing some hair temporarily vs. being morbidly obese for the rest of my life was a no-brainer. But you may think and decide differently for yourself - and there's nothing wrong with that. If you're not mentally ready for this yet, or want to try on your own to lose weight, then there's nothing wrong with canceling or postponing your surgery. You wouldn't be the first..or last.

I agree with @ChunkCat. And also add, yes it is difficult to hit those protein goals as you move through the first stages & you’re eating so little. On purées (cause I couldn’t stand to continue on the shakes) I ate a high protein yoghurt to boost my daily protein intake. (You can make it into a drink by blending with milk which also gives you additional protein). Don’t worry too much if you’re not hitting your protein goal every day in this time. As long as you’re close to it & getting closer you’ll be okay. It’s one of those things that gets easier as you progress. It’s likely you’ll lose some hair from around three months regardless of whether you reach your protein goals from the beginning or not. It’s your body reacting to the stress of the surgery, anaesthetic, hormonal fluctuations, etc. And it’s just an acceleration of your usual hair loss cycle. It lasts about three months. And your new hair is still growing at the same time you’re shedding just at its usual rate. It’s quite common after many major surgeries, periods of stress, child birth, menopause, etc.

Hi Wendy- I found it important to confide in friends who I knew would see the surgery as an effort to reset my system and not as a vanity project. So, I opened up to three close friends and no family other than my husband and teenage son (whom I sat down and really went through the toughest reasons why with). My parents are gone and I don’t see my siblings very often - easier in that respect. And I also sought out references from friends of closest friends who knew someone who’d had the surgery and talked extensively about the aftermath and any complications. They were exceptionally compassionate and enthusiastic supporters. I really felt ready. The comments from a good friend group came in waves: “you look great”! Then, a bit of concern - “all okay?” Then, “wow, you look like a different person: are you on ozempic?” with a direct desire to know what was up. I told that group together but only after 3 month mark, asking they not share it with others. No one has been negative about it. I had a dear friend say, “look, if there was a surgery that would reset my brain to comprehend things more quickly, I’d do it in a second”. I had to explain it’s not a quick fix but I knew what she meant- getting one’s beast of burden off the mind. Re: Hair loss- timeline was strange - I’ve always had a thick head of hair and thought maybe I’d bypass the intensity of it. Alas, no- it started to really come out heavily in Aug/Sept. I was worried bc it didn’t slow down and had thinned dramatically but now the growth is back - slowed in Dec/Jan and I kept it short all fall. No one especially noticed enough to mention it. Again, all good thoughts to you as you begin this remarkable feat! You’ll feel amazing soon enough but I hope you’re proud of getting to this point!

I was also post-menopausal, but my hormones were still affected as i would just cry in the store trying to figure out what to buy as this was a new way of shopping after the procedure. We have to re learn how to shop, and cook and that felt overwhelming to me! I also am still in the process of losing my hair. It started at about 4-5 months. It falls out like crazy when i wash it. I like many others cut my long hair and opted for just above the shoulder length. I am 6.5 months post op so hopefully it will stop falling out soon!! As far as slowing weight loss, it will slow on its own. I dont think many of us on here have to worry about losing too much weight. There are a few, but a majority of us I believe are able to maintain without any more weight loss once we hit our set point. At least that is what I have read from other posts.

I’ve had my hair coloured every 4 weeks for years before & after my surgery (gotta hide that grey) & continued my usual drying/styling routine. Don’t believe it affected how much hair I lost. The hair you lose during the usual 3+/- months is have that you were already going to shed. You’re just shedding it more quickly. The only thing I would worry about is bleach as it is more harsh on your hair. I remember having streaks many years ago & I shed more hair than usual. So I wouldn’t want to increase the hair loss by doing that again. Plus the anaesthetic can make the texture of your hair change & make it feel drier.

Hi y'all! I have my surgery (AHHHHH!) scheduled for this upcoming TUESDAY! Today is Friday. I have NOT yet purchased my vitamins. I have the paper sitting in front of me. I've attached a picture since I'm confused about the second column (regimen). I need to take a bariatric supplement that has calcium & B-12. Some of them have iron in them already. Can someone help explain what the second column means? I'm SUPER worried about the hair loss aspect...I was told that the BEST vitamins on the market are the Bariatric Advantage Advanced EA Multivitamin. What vitamins do you recommend as a first time surgery patient? I know the above ones I mentioned are the most expensive, but I was told they're the best of the best...is that true?

Hi Everyone ☺️ I got my call!!! Surgery date is August 14th!!! Nervous and excited all at the same time. I'm excited to have a vital tool to help me along my journey. My husband is excited for me and very supportive. I worry about things like I'm sure most individuals are, like blood clots, hair loss and general pain. But I figure I've come this far, and I'm in it to succeed!

Hello All- i posted for the first time just about three years ago with some anxieties as a spouse with my wife prepping to undergo the gastric sleeve. I originally noted being concerned about our lifestyle changes, relationship impacts (I had heard all the horror stories) and most of all health concerns into the future. The community was incredibly supportive and I had learned tips and useful knowledge that helped me coach and support my wife through it. I am happy to say we are better than we ever have been and her self confidence is through the roof. However the MAIN reason the surgery ever was even considered was to get her diabetes that started while she was pregnant with our first child and got very concerning bad with our fourth has still stuck around and caused issues….. First- this is Life changing not just for the partner getting the surgery, but the spouse too. We used to be foodies and that all had to go out the door. Same with alcohol. Two bites and you are full, a pint and you are drunk. So activities, dates, etc. and new hobbies should all be prepared for well in advance. Luckily we are both athletes and coaches and this allowed to have an outlet that wasn’t our prior foodies and beer/ brewery culture pastime. Two- Relationship, anyone who tells you that this leads to automatic divorce/ break up is paranoid or lying. Out of her support group offered by our health network, I think only 1 or 2 of about fifteen women ended up separating and that was from the other spouse cheating. I have to say that in many ways, after four kids and all our activities, youth sports and coaching- it created a second honeymoon period for us and really strengthened our romance and relationship because we both focused on our health again jointly and the magnetism increased dramatically. Third- It might not fix the problem…. We did not jointly go into the surgery for cosmetic or weight loss reasons. It was the diabetes and the doctors said it was a solid shot to cure or mitigate the disease. It was for a while, but it keeps back up. despite healthy eating, despite exercise and coaching, despite the surgery- medications came back into the picture and so did the celebrity weight loss drug (which is really supposed to be for diabetes…) This has been keeping everything under control but is a case of the cure being as bad as the sickness. The side effects are brutal and definitely have a quality of life impact, but we both want to live to see grandkids someday….. Fourth- dysmorphia is VERY really. We are both naturally larger people. I was a lineman in high school and college and she was a softball catcher in high school and college and ended up also playing women’s rugby there as well. Even with the surgery she went from an XL to L but she got her college/ high school figure back and as such her confidence went through the roof and started dressing like she hadn’t in years. With the medication though??? Her figure, face shape, everything changed. Down to a Small or Medium. For almost a year and a half she hasn’t recognized herself in the mirror. It’s a double wham with the surgery and the medication. Between her best friends and myself (we have all been in the same friend/ team group since college) the support was to have fun with it and go with the flow. Instead of worrying about it (the dysmorphia) it was embrace the change. All new clothes she could never wear before, she’s been a redhead now and then blonde and still is. Cut her hair shorter, started wearing makeup (never really did)- all just to try and put a positive spin on it. I’ve been the spoiled recipient of having a brand new girl (don’t think I haven’t romanced and spoiled the you-know-what out of her), but at the end of the day it’s been mitigation of all the life changes. The last part has been the most detailed because it’s the most recent and to me has been the most impactful- NOT having the surgery do its intended purpose and the dysmorphia we’re both very difficult given the efforts and life changes made. We’ve done everything we can to make lemonade out of those lemons though. We had an anniversary vacation better than our honeymoon this past summer (she has always been way out of my league and these days it’s very much over the top- I feel incredibly spoiled) and we have made time to ride our bikes together with our oldest babysitting the kids and we come to each others games when we coach. I would tell any spouse; husband or wife of someone who is going to have the surgery and then or also do all the meds: 1. Support. It’s a huge deal and you need to show up. 2. Don’t get insecure about your relationship because of the surgery. If you are worried it means you might not have a great relationship to start with…. 3. You will need to change your life too. Because of my size and my weight lifting, I need a lot of protein and calories. I will never look like a Hollywood star (like she now does) and always an NFL lineman- BUT- if I bring a cannoli, pie or a full growler into the house in addition to steak/ salmon, etc it’s teasing and not fair. You will need to learn self control to support your spouse… 4. Inspire and come up with ideas for positive re-enforcement. If the dysmorphia or depression sets in, you need to find fun things to do, supportive steps to take and positive angles to keep things going. 5. If you are doing all this as a spouse, what about YOU??? Are you going to die a martyr? Take care of YOURSELF too. I go lifting 3 times a week, go fishing in season. And for my 40th birthday when she asked what I wanted?? I got us a long weekend on the Cape, bought her some dresses I wanted to see her in and sent her to get her hair, nails, toes, eyelashes, etc.. done. Said I wanted a long weekend with my movie star wife. It was a great time, kid free and continued to strengthen our marriage. Anyways- why am I writing this? Posterity? Self reflection? Not really…. I just want to give Spouses a roadmap. It’s a huge change and you need to navigate the waters well. If you do you will benefit as much as your loved one. Good luck.

I had the sleeve surgery 9/26/16 and did well with it till I had my gallbladder removed in 2018 then I developed severe gastric reflux. My surgeon found that my bile duct got stuck open after they removed my gallbladder. With the bile constantly running in my sleeve it eroded it causing some precancerous changes. Once my insurance approved for a second surgery we went with changing over to a bypass in June of 2020 to fix the problem. I was very happy that we ended up doing the revision because I no longer had to sleep sitting up and my stalled weight loss finally started back up again and I was able to continue my weight loss journey. Fast forward to the present of this year I have been holding a good weight of between 137 to 145 lbs and no health issues really I just still struggled with dumping a lot cause my new pouch didn't always like food but I maintain weight with the help of shakes. Then in August of this year for some reason I just started getting where I didn't feel well and I dropped like 17 lb like it was nothing. I contacted my surgeon because I was concerned because of how weak and tired I had felt and I've noticed like vision changes my muscles or shrinking rapidly I was becoming dehydrated and all kinds of new things that I wasn't prepared for. My surgeon ordered a upper scope and a lower which come back very good. My lab showed that I did have a couple vitamin deficiencies so I increased my vitamins I actually have to go redo my labs here because I also ended up getting sick and went in the ER in my liver counts were high and they never been high before so we're checking those this week. But now I'm having a harder time eating and getting my body to absorb my nutrition even the protein shakes aren't helping maintain my body weight I am dropping weight still pretty rapidly I'm down to 124 lb now and my immune system seems to have been weakened because I get sick super easy and I try to stay away from other people otherwise that makes it harder on me and I guess get wiped out. I am currently waiting for my surgeon to call me back because I'm getting more concerned about how we come getting it's getting harder to do every daily things such as washing my hair folding my clothes and putting them away my muscles hurt and they're tired and weak and they get all cramped up. I'm blessed to have this surgery but I was never expecting that I would get this new very weird complication of just not being able to eat very well and to maintain weight. I trust my surgery team he's wonderful I'm hoping they can figure this out I'd really do not want a feeding tube or a PICC line I work with the public and that's even getting hard to do and I've almost thought about applying for disability until I get this figured out so I can quit losing weight by exertion. I'm just wondering is anybody else going through something like this or they just out of nowhere started losing weight again and they just can't seem to get it to stop. I'm worried not only for myself but for my family because my kids are still pretty young and I'm not ready to leave this world yet I still have a lot to live for. Hw: 268 SW 221lbs LW 124lns Height 5'2

I am another person that started wearing brighter clothing once the weight started coming off. I always did like dark clothing, but with such extreme weight gain over the years, I pretty much HID behind it all as a way to hopefully not be noticed as much. It is funny though in that through the years, I didn't really consider that aspect of it until the weight loss started. I HATED pink in my old life, I had a cousin joke that she would be having me wearing pink in no time and I told her NO NO WAY. Guess who now wears pink in addition to every other color out there now? lol... Times sure do change. I care about my makeup now as well, didn't really care to even bother with it much in the past. Now I make sure I at least throw on some base makeup and powder if I am going out of the house, more makeup if I am headed out to eat or to visit someone or to Doctors, etc. And I always make sure to keep up with keeping my hair dyed now too, I hate when my greys start coming in and never really worried about it much before. I also have been picking up some newer, prettier jewelry, plus I inherited a whole armoire completely full of pretty pieces from an Aunt that sadly passed last year and I have been wearing her things as well. Not that I am particularly vain now, at least I hope I haven't become overly vain. But I do care about looking like a vibrant woman again, and that feels wonderful. Add to this the fact that I feel more assertive than I have in YEARS, I gained a backbone.

I just read this great article written by Bruce Underwood(WLS brother) in his website. I will post the link below the article so you can explore. Obesity and its Affects on Relationships and Acceptance Obese individuals have multiple and varying insecurities related to their obesity. These may differ depending on the when obesity became an issue, affected their life most, and length of time. Age, rewarding experiences, negative experiences, and humiliations also play major roles on how each person sees themselves and their self confidence. Parental, sibling, friendship, spousal relationships, and other relationships affect an individual prior to and following weight loss surgery. I have not always been obese and have had lived periods of my life with several different areas of acceptance with varying degrees of confidence. These areas include intellectual acceptance, physical acceptance, sexual acceptance, peer acceptance, acceptance of friends, spousal or mate acceptance, and audience acceptance. Each of these areas is affected by an individual’s self confidence and ability to present himself in a positive way. However, acceptance and experience also affect an individual’s confidence level in each of these areas. The more success and acceptance in a particular area, the more confidence an individual has. However, more rejection reduces self confidence, which further reduces acceptance. This circular syndrome becomes exponential in its effect on an individual. Obesity plays a major role in producing this syndrome as prejudice and stereotyping are projected on obese individuals. Individuals that have been obese all of their lives may have few or no successes in a number of areas of acceptance and may tend to naturally gravitate to other areas where they achieve success and acceptance. The fewer the areas of acceptance the lower the self esteem that a person may have. However, the person who has been obese all of their life, probably does not suffer grief from the loss of acceptance areas as some areas have never been explored. For individuals that become obese later in life, grief from the loss in specific area of acceptance is normal. Having experienced varying levels of success in an area of acceptance, the obese individual may long for those areas and may actually suffer greater depression because of the rejection that they now face in those areas. An example of this may be that of a person who once experienced acceptance in physical beauty and was rewarded highly for their beauty. Now obese, she finds herself longing for the physical and emotional acceptance, but receives rejection. This rejection leads to anger, depression and in cases self loathing. Initially there is denial and then anger. Often diet and exercise only exacerbates the problem as dieting attempts fail. Moments of success followed by diet failures drive down the self esteem and cause greater depression. Friends, peers, relatives, and those who once were flirtatious now look around, through or away and she feels much less the person than she once was. The people around her now become part of the problem as they now become the reminder of what she once was. Additionally, family, friends, and others may add to the problem by acting as the food or diet police with the individual. Often judgmental remarks and comments thought to be helpful actually make the person feel less acceptance and further rejected as an equal or peer. The family member, friend or person making the comment is perceived as being on a different level physically and perhaps intellectually. This perception may be with both parties involved or just by one of the parties; obese or other. The person may react over time in several ways: Things related to beauty may not even be attempted as they are reminders of the pain. Photographs and pictures are avoided as it is easier to live with self image from the past. New photographs are only reminders of the failure and are foreign missals that destroy the image within the mind. In addition, the more positive self image from the past actually helps to promote self confidence in other areas of acceptance such as audience and individual acceptance. The person tends to gravitate to areas that make people like them. These may take the form of humor, knowledge, and expertise. Physical activity becomes more difficult as obesity becomes more profound. Areas that require physical activity and physical fit begin to be avoided. Games, amusement parks, dance, taking car or airplane trips, hiking, theaters, etc. are avoided. The individual may begin to live vicariously through their children, family, friends, and peers. This too may become difficult as these people may resent the now “hanger on”. Surgery and Diet makes a difference – WLS and Diet - Stages of Difference, Awareness and Acceptance: 1) Self Notice – You notice a difference in yourself. As you begin to lose weight, you begin to notice the change. You feel physically different and you notice changes in your face and shoulders. You wonder if and when other people are going to say something. 2) Something’s Different – Others begin to notice a difference, but they are not sure what it is. I like your new hair style. Did you color your hair?. Did you use to have a beard? I thought you wore glasses? A few truly observant folks may say... You’ve lost weight... haven’t you? Usually still as a question. 3) Physical Change - Your clothes are baggy and you need a wardrobe change. You feel better and look better. A lot of people realize you are losing weight and say you look great. You and your friends are proud of the results. 4) Significant Difference - There is a significant difference in you appearance and everybody can see it even if it is not spoken. You know it and they know it. You feel better about yourself and have much greater energy and anticipation. You may or may not notice that people are beginning to treat you differently. You like the compliments and the positive feedback. You look great! Wow! What a difference! You are going to just blow away! You begin to think, wow I am looking better. You may find yourself getting out more and taking more chances. Spreading your wings and taking little flights of freedom to see how things work now. Self Confidence increases and you begin looking at the world a little differently. Excitement seems to be ever present. You may find that fear of failure is also increased at this point as you may not fully trust the results of success. Plateaus and periods of static weight loss may cause greater concern. Moods may seem to swing. 5) Identity Crisis – At this point you are very different physically. Your friends, family, and folks you don’t know react differently to you. You may find that the opposite sex respond flirtatiously and jokingly to you. Family, friends, peers, and co-worker relationships seem to change. Some relationships are better, but some are strained. You want more and expect more from others and yourself. You are excited about your new body and look, but may be angered and frustrated by differences in existing relationships. Leveling occurs as people feel threatened by your new look. People may put you down in areas and /or build themselves up as they want to “level” the playing field with you. You probably don’t know exactly where you fit in physically in the world anymore. You may have an exaggerated opinion or an under-exaggerated opinion of where people see your physical attractiveness. “I must look fantastic, because I am getting all this attention and everybody is telling me how good I look”. Or, “I am still fat and people are just saying that I look good to be nice” “He can’t be attracted to me”. This is also a time that poses serious threats to marital relationships. The spouse may feel threatened by the vast changes in your appearance and attractiveness. In addition, the self confidence, energy level, and desire to explore may also pose threats to status quo that once existed in your relationship. Often an obese person has not been happy in a relationship, but has lacked the self confidence and desire to make a change. New energy, attractiveness, self confidence, a desire for improvement, and the inability to discern at what level one fits in socially, may promote a relationship change or a desire to “Upgrade”. This is a time for introspection. Explore your feelings and desires. If you feel angry and frustrated, where are those feeling coming from? Who are those feelings directed towards and why? Seek out people who are honest with you and ask their opinion, but be prepared for their honest criticisms. Validate their criticisms with others that you trust. Be careful to not make rash judgments and changes, but proceed cautiously. It is a time of change, exploration, and hope as you desire to get your life back. There are those people that want to keep you confined. There are those who want to help. There are those who just want to use your energy. There are those that love you regardless of the changes. 6) Self Acknowledgement - This is a time where you begin to see where you fit in to the world as friends, family, peers, and co-workers begin to accept your appearance and changes. You may feel hurt and disappointed at times as the complements and ego boosting flattery begin to dissipate. You may once again feel threatened by the lack of weight loss and the fear of failure as some weight gain may occur. The highs and are not so high, but the lows may tend to make you depressed at times. You still feel good, but may feel less attractive as you receive fewer compliments. Some people that fed off your energy, desire, and newness no longer are as flirtatious and even strangers appear not to pay you as much attention. Life begins to level out and you begin appear “Normal”. 7) Self Acceptance and Self Awareness – At this stage, obesity is of little or no concern to you. You are aware of your size and acceptance of others. You know where you fit in. Some of your insecurities are still there, some have fallen by the wayside, but may have changed. Life has settled down and the normal problems and happiness of life make you aware of your existence. Hopefully, you have grown more beautiful, more emotionally sound, more mentally aware, more spiritually connected, and more wise. Hopefully, the journey has made you more of a person and less of a ghost. The pains that obesity brought you have made you a more empathetic and sympathetic and less judgmental. Understanding and the weathering of your own insecurities have made you strong and compassionate and you now see with clarity the reasons behind your lack of self confidence and you strive to help others to see the beauty that is within each of us. Misconceptions and Naiveté of Sexual Attractiveness - Sex Exploration Obese people often have issues with being accepted by other people, especially physical acceptance. They have often been or become the ugly duckling of society and have gotten use to rejection in the area of physical attractiveness. Often, feeling the rejection of physical attractiveness causes deep seated dependencies and feelings of need. Bottom line, they want to be loved, we want to be pretty and we want to be accepted by other people. Being fat has been a road block that prevented the acceptance from occurring. Physical rejection and lack acceptance is often displayed in parents and siblings. Often, parents and siblings tell a fat child, youth, or adult what they think of their obesity. This can be done out of cruelty, but usually it is done out of concern for the person. However, regardless of the intent, the result is profound in the life of the obese person and can be damaging for a life. In other words, a parent may tell an obese person, “You have gained so much weight... I am so worried about you”. Or they may say, “You have gotten so fat, nobody is going to want to ever be with you”. These types of comments, though they may temporarily encourage a person to lose weight, they also label the over weight person as undesirable and let them know that they are a physical reject to them and to society. Sexual rejection often goes hand in hand with physical rejections and acceptance. Being accepted sexually is often associated with physical acceptance. If a person is accepted sexually, they may feel more pretty, desired, wanted, and loved. Significant weight loss through diet or surgery has a profound affect on a person’s identity. Note that two crucial stages in Weight Loss Differences are the Significant Difference Stage, and the Identity Crisis Stage. In these two critical stages, WLS and Weight Loss people lose their sense of identity. They no longer know how people perceive their physical beauty. This is where Weight Loss people are naive about their sexual attractiveness and may develop Misconceptions of their Sexual Attractiveness. They may have a strong desire to find who is accepting of them now. It is like the person has been a true sexual prisoner of their obesity and has now been released to explore a world full of sexual partners that are accepting of them. As a result, naiveté of sexual attractiveness and their misconceptions of their sexual attractiveness may make Weight Loss Patients vulnerable to marital infidelities, which could endanger monogamous relationships. New energy levels, confidence, self esteem, and the new avenues of accepting sexual partners may create a strong desire for sexual exploration. The Weight Loss person’s sexual prowess is increased and they may find it nearly impossible turn down opportunities of sexual exploration as other people provide the attention that they desire, but lacked for so long. This may come in the form of opposite sex exploration and same sex exploration. The attention that they now receive is addictive. For a loving spouse or significant other, this can be a very frustrating and dangerous time in a relationship. The significant other, out of frustration, may try to control or constrain the Weight Loss patient. However, the attempt to control may actually work to push the Weight Loss person further away. It is a time when great support and communication is needed in the relationship. The significant other may need to provide new opportunities for exploration and provide greater amounts of attention to the weight loss patient. Communication is crucial concerning what is acceptable and what is not acceptable sexual behavior. The weight loss person needs to know they are loved, desired, and wanted. Marital or relationship counseling is strongly suggested during this time. Deeper problems within a relationship may surface as existing problems are magnified with much greater intensity during this time. Weight loss patients during these critical stages are less like accommodating poor or offensive behavior towards them, “I don’t have to put up with this crap and I am not”. Issues that have existed in relationships for long periods of time may come to the forefront. These issues must be addressed. Unfortunately, the spouse or significant other may not understand that the behavior exists or why it has become an issue now. Obesity may have caused the person to “Settle” for acceptance from person that they may think is actually less than desirable or beneath them. The person or people they accepted may have not been the best looking, most kind, most intelligent, most understanding, or may even be abusive. Because of the weight, confidence level, self esteem, and lack of acceptance from more desirable people, They accept the “love” and “settle” for who is available. At the time that they accept this person into our lives, they think they are on the same level or feel that they can’t really do any better because of the “fault” of obesity. Having said all this, I do not mean to imply that everyone goes through these issues or at the intensity mentioned above. However, the weight loss patient and people within the life of the patient need to realize that there are strong emotional and mental issues that a person may go through. Support is crucial and counseling may need to be seriously considered. With such intensely physical changes that take place in the WLS life, mental and emotional issues can be expected as the new person emerges. Try not to make rash judgments and be patient. Areas of Concern: These are areas for which I have thoughts and concerns. I hope to address these soon. If you have other topics in the area of psychology that you would like to see addressed, please let me know. If you want me to place one of the topics listed below at the top of my list, let me know. Thanks You. Energy and Willingness to be in Front of Others Leveling Change in friends Loss of Self Image and Social Position Increase Desire to explore removed barriers Expectations and Unrealistic expectations Self image – I don’t know how to smile for a camera Weight loss and Disappointment Spousal Attractiveness Link to Bruce's website and source of this article: http://www.thinnerse...ationships.html Explore his site I found lots of "goodies" to bookmark.

There are many different anecdotes to curtail hair loss, including Protein intake. I personally had more than my required protein intake daily since day 1 so the protein theory was not my issue; don't know what was. I had the exact same problem, but it has just recently began to stop (8+ months out for me). My doctor told me that hair loss at 4-6 months out from surgery (most surgeries) is normal because of the shock to the body. The good news is that he also told me that when the thinning/fall out stops, your hair will grow back thicker and quicker than pre-surgery. My hair is very long and thick, so I'm not looking forward to the "thicker" part, but every doctor and person for that matter, has an opinion on this and it's different for everyone I'm sure. Don't worry, you will be fine. My hair loss lasted about 8 weeks or so, which is what my Dr indicated. Hang in there, no wigs, just new clothes!:frown:

So this week I went to my surgeon for my 3 month post op visit. 3 months!!! ALREADY! Wow, I cannot believe how fast the time goes when you are so focused on a goal! So, I went there and first off got weighed by the nurse. She says to me, "Wow, you are down another 26.3 pounds since the last time we saw you just over a month ago!" So I tell her about the hair loss and the little bit of worry that I have about the loose skin, and she gives me some fliers about what other Vitamins I can be taking for the hair loss (BY THE WAY, ANY ADVICE IN THIS AREA WOULD BE GREAT!!!). She then tells me to ask the Dr. about the skin and what he thinks. So the Dr. comes in a few minutes later. Says to me, "Hello, Kim. I'll tell you, you used to look like someone I would perform surgery on, but not anymore!" So I smile and turn beat red (i'm sure) and then he looks at the chart again and says, "Kim! Do you realize you have lost 90 pounds in 4 months!?! NO ONE has ever lost that much that fast in our program!" Thats when it hit me. I have officially "lost" my 12 year old niece. WOW! Now for the bad news... My hair is 1/2 gone. Thank goodness I had a really thick head of hair to start or I would be bald by now. It's horrible! Every time I touch my head I loose a whole hand full of hair. I am really starting to worry about it but don't know what kind of vitamins to invest in so that it at LEAST slows down. HELP!!!! More bad news: I'm on another stall. I wanted to start the new year off in Onederland. I haven't lost in over 2 weeks. I am 10 pounds from Onderland and am stuck. Go figure. I just hope I can be within 5 pounds of Onderland at least by the New Year. Over all, I am happy as a lark and LOVING my new life! Thanks to the surgeon, their wonderful staff, and the sleeve I am happier than I have been in a very very long time. I finally feel good about myself and therefore am able to tackle the everyday things that used to tax me to even think about. I don't have a lot of full body pictures to post but I do have just a few to share. The first two pics is from a wedding I was in this last June (5 months ago). The last three were taken just this week. I will do my best to find some full body pictures this week and get them posted. ONDERLAND HERE I COME!!!!!!

I had the band placed in Sept. and have been really worried about how much hair I have been losing. to the point where I would go 3 days without shampooing because I couldn't deal with the clogged drain and the hair that I pulled from my brush. And if I ran my hands through my hair I would get 10-20 strands each time, all day long. and my pillowcase would be covered when I woke up. I do have to say that it is slowing down. Yesterday when I washed it I only had 3 strands come out and about 20 in the brush. When I run my hands through now I get maybe 2, sometimes none, and no hair on my pillowcase for the past few nights. I have always gotten enough protein and the Dr said it might have been my gallbladder which could have caused some of the loss but since my surgery last week I see a great improvement. I always had thin hair, but alot of it, now I have 1/2 of what I had before and it is thinner. I don't see the new short growth yet but it's early. I do have to say, that no matter how many people on these boards reassured me that it would grow back, I was still not a believer and it really was worrisome.

I definitely dread the thought of losing my hair. Like others have stated about their hai, mine is down to my rear and is very shiny. That has been the one thing that I've gotten compliments on over the years. The thought of parting with it...well, it freaks me out. My hubby said he'd love me even if all my hair fell out. I just hope it wouldn't make me want to hide from the world again. Also, I had my nutritional class for soft foods stage this past Monday. I asked the dietitian if there was anything I could take or eat to keep it from happening and if making sure I get all my Protein in would ensure little to no hair loss. She said there is really nothing you could do. That the anthethesia would actually cause hair loss but that even though it would be noticeable to me, it probably wouldn't be to others. She also stated that if I start losing tons of hair where it is noticeable to others that that would be a sign that in the first few months, I didn't get enough protein. Well, I will enjoy my hair while I have it and try not to worry about it.

Okay I met my surgeon in June and told I should lose about fifteen to 20 pounds. However I been told that around four month out you can experience hair loss. I was thinking about getting a weave since I am worried about using heat and chemicals. I was thinking about getting it prior to surgery. I got keratin treatment done in now but I won't get it back in at least maybe next year since it a chemical. I thinking telling my stylist not make the braids too tight. What do you think or do any suggestion? I won't look right with a afro. I was thinking getting a weave anyway

So I'm somewhat consumed with the possibility of hair loss after banding. I already have some thinning and take Biotin 1000mcg each day along with other supplements. Due to the hair thinning, I have had a variety of lab test that have all been negative. My GP says that it's just hereditary and to keep taking Vitamins. I have had weight problems most of my life. I have been losing the same 25 to 30 lbs for the last 10 years. I have been trying to do some research while waiting on insurance approval for Lap-band® Surgery. I am 42, female with a BMI of 35 and I have high blood pressure. I would appreciate any recommendations. Also, does anyone know the percentage of those that have hair loss after banding? Thanks

Whether to tell or not is personal decision, just like the decision to have WLS. Do what feels best for you. I was a teller, because I'm comfortable with that, wanted to share the word about WLS, and worried my friends and family would think I had a terminal disease when I started dropping weight rapidly and my hair thinned. But that's me! If you decide to not tell, think of contingency plan for how to handle direct questions after weight loss begins and if someone you did tell blabs to others. If you decide to tell, think of responses for those that make comments about your choice, from those you care about most to near strangers. Be prepared, some comments will be nice and come from a caring place and it will vary from that to downright mean for some. Best wishes on your journey, Lynda Lynda

Ok so im worried about this whole hair loss thing. I dont know what Id do if I lost my hair call me vain. Id freak out. My nut says if you get your protein in I should be fine. Anybody have any expierence with this, advice, comments?

@@lachellove @@MoniqueMcCoy - anything is possible but why worry about what you cannot really control at this point? I felt the same way and the other concern was the hair loss. I am a little over three months post and I am down 70lbs from my HW about 6 months ago. Follow your doctors & NUTs instructions and breathe and try to relax. I can also tell you that you may feel buyers remorse for a couple of days post-op. Like WTH did I just do to myself???? I had it on day two, first full day home. I realized there was no going back (stomach was in a bio-hazard container somewhere headed to God knows where...). I really didn't have any post-op issues either - no nausea, gas pains, etc. I just grasped the whole idea that it was DONE. Funny thing is I realized within about a day that I NEEDED this surgery to LIVE the rest of my life without huffing & puffing, sweating & squeezing, getting bigger & bigger... NO REGRETS!!!

Mine started coming out about 3 months after surgery. My hair stylist said that it is common...she sees it a lot with patients who have had weight loss surgery. She also reassured me that it would grow back. I'm trying not to worry abou ti ttoo much. After all, I'm losing weight, and I would go back and do it all again. But, I know it's really hard. My hair has always been what people have commented on. It's definitely been my thing!

I was worried about hair loss before I had my surgery. Not long after my surgery, I talked to my cosmetologist about it. Before surgery, I had very thick hair. I started noticing excessive loss when I was about 3 months out from surgery. To be proactive, I talked to my stylist about the best cut to minimize hair loss (or the appearance of it). I normally get my hair thinned, but I stopped that for a while too. I also quit coloring my hair for about the first 10 months. I didn't want to weaken anything further than surgery already did. I cut back on how often I washed my hair (every other day instead of daily), and I took Biotin and listened to my stylist. My stylist was also able to recommend products that would help. I was glad I talked to her and teamed up with her on the issue. She was also able to reassure me that my loss wasn't drastic.