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I can't tell you how helpful it is to read this today. I am feeling the EXACT same way. My surgery is a month out, and I'm starting to panic. My rational brain tells me that some day I can enjoy food again (albeit is much smaller amounts), and I won't have to abstain from alcohol forever if I don't want to, but my neurotic brain is worrying about doing something irreversible to my body, and that I could end up going through this for nothing if I gain all the weight back. Glad to know I'm not alone, that this is normal, and that most people don't regret it in the long run.

I don't drink (never liked the taste) but I've definitely been enjoying food a lot since surgery. I eat a lot less (I am less than 2 months out, so I eat about 2 oz of meat/protein at a time), so that is definitely hard, but I still enjoy the food. Is this process easy. NO WAY! You have to change your relationship with food or it won't work. You can still enjoy food, but if you eat the same crap food you ate that made you obese, you will lose weight then gain it right back, or you will not lose much to begin with. This has been the hardest part for me. I am resisting changing WHAT I eat, because I enjoy rich, sweet, restaurant foods. I don't want to eat simply seasoned, fresh, healthy foods. But I want this process to work, so I'm doing my best. I travel every week for work so some days I buy food from the grocery store and eat roast beef, hummus, prechopped veggies, ff greek yogurt, protein shakes, etc in my hotel room, and yes, it's a bit sad. Sometimes I do go out to restaurants and order something, enjoy my few oz of protein and a tiny bit of veggies, but I feel like it's not healthy enough... If you think you can live your old life eating five course restaurant meals after surgery, sure, you can do that after a few years, but you will gain your weight back. Just like any other weight loss scheme, you have to eat less. Right now, I physically can't eat much at one time, but if I were to graze or eat junk food, my weight loss would slow. And I was counting on not being hungry and I'm starving all the time. And I was counting on my tastes to change so I wouldn't like unhealthy food. Nope! This is hard. Think carefully. I don't regret doing it, but it's the hardest thing I've ever done, and I lost 100 lbs through diet and exercise. This is way harder in many ways.

Hi! I just had a revision and hernia repair on the 2nd. The scale is showing I gained 6 pounds from the morning of surgery. How long does it take for all the fluid to get out of you?

Hi - I've started the process of VSG, got my consult, letter of medical necessity, insurance etc... but I have one burning question.... How do people cope? I assume most of us (overweight) got here by over eating for fun / comfort etc. I am a big family eater/drinker - i.e. love hanging with family and shooting the ... for hours while grazing and enjoying wine - the fear of that disappearing scares me to death. I know I can't be the only one - so I'm curious about other peoples experience and regrets if there were any. I'm currently 290, highest weight was 330, lowest was 178.6 about 8 years ago after losing weight on slimming world on my own. I feel like it's pathetic that I can't just do that again - I also never felt 'hard done by' when I lost the weight before, but I was still able to (over)indulge at holidays etc. Clearly the before approach didn't work and I've been morbidly obese my entire life, but I'd love some feedback from the veterans here about coping with that loss, having the sense to see past current eating joy and realize that joy that comes with the ability to be active, not self conscious about weight etc... Any help / advice is greatly appreciated! Brian.

Hi All I am a chef by profession and feel that though I am going through the same as most (currently in puree stage) I refuse to give up my desire to eat well and be creative. My weight loss is going great and I have been keeping the diet prescribed to me by my physician. I have, however, stretched my creative muscles to incorporate flavors I like into my day. This is one of my more successful ones. I am also trying to eat more vegetarian and vegan and this was a good place for that as I use Just egg and vegetarian sausage. If I had cashew yogurt I would have used that instead. 208 calories / 15 carbs / 12g protein (vegetarian) should yield 1/4 cup. If more only eat what you are prescribed. 1 Morning Star Farm vegetarian Sausage Link 1/2 cup Oat Milk 1 ts Low-fat Greek Yogurt (plain) 1/4 ts rubbed sage 1/4 ts garlic powder 1/4 ts dried chives (optional) Ground black pepper 1 ts corn starch disolved in 1 ts of water 1 egg or 3Tbl. Just Egg Over medium heat. Cut up one sausage link and, in a small pan sprayed with cooking spray, sauté until lightly browned. Add Oat Milk, yogurt, sage, garlic powder and chives if you are using and stir until the yogurt dissolves and the gravy starts to simmer. Let it start to cook down a bit. Stir the cornstarch and water slurry well to make sure it is fully dissolved and add it to the gravy. Bring up the heat and stir till thickened to the consistency you wish. If too thick, add some water. Remove from the pan and put the gravy into a small food processor. Blitz until smooth and the sausage is well incorporated. Make your egg or egg substitute scrambled fine so it meets puree standards and serve with the gravy on top. Though you are using about 1/2 cup of milk and such, out leaving you with approximately 1/4 cup of sausage gravy. This is decadent, has the flavors you want, has a good amount of protein and meets the requirements. Cheers J

I wish I could find the medical journal article I read that said something less than 5% of people who are obese can lose their weight and keep it off with diet and exercise alone. Maybe if you scheduled a pre op appointment and asked your wife to go with you so the doctor could tell her those statistics it would help her get on board.

Happy November! It's been a while since I checked in since I missed our 6 month check in. Rolling into fall was hectic at work for me and I was exhausted at home afterwards. But, I won't miss Month 7. Happy Surgerversary to my fellow Sleevers and my April 6 surgery twins. I think there are 4 of us on here. I'm doing good overall. I never had a true goal weight, but I am 20 pounds lower that what the dietitian thought I might be able to lose, but that was a very brief comment made during pre-OP appts. My focus was health not a specific number on the scale. But, I will share that I do weigh daily on my scale every morning just to see what's happening. Emotionally this is not taxing for me. I do not recommend that for people who had a specific goal weight number and are distressed by the scale. I have even more uplifting milestones than what a scale can offer me. Like I need to get my ring resized before it falls off in public somewhere. Never had to do that so I've been procrastinating on figuring out what I need to do for that. But, I get its super easy. Lol. Last weekend I had to gut my closet of my entire fall and winter attire. The prior week was cold and I didn't have any pants at all that fit. The closet is still a mess as I toss sweaters, baggy Jean's, etc. Shopping during the summer was fun and I loved it. But, I dont like cold or winter, so I procrastinated. Shoes are lose as well so I need some winter shoes. I kind of view winter clothes as more expensive than summer, another reason I procrastinated. I'm grateful for sure, just not thrilled about the expense for a season I don't enjoy. So, those are non-scale victories. I'm doing ok food wise, BUT I noticed in October that my restriction is less. Oh, that scares me. I don't want that at just 6-7 months. I also had grazing episodes in October. That scared me even more. I don't eat off plan. My grazing was with fruits, veggies, cheese sticks, and almonds. But, still, it scares me. I haven't cheated in terms of sugar, carbs, soda, etc. I'm proud of myself for that, but dont want less restriction or grazing urges. Also, water intake declined at work last month due to mainly distractions being busy and honestly not having any thirst that even triggered a thought to drink anything. I still only drink water. No juices or soda, plus I'm not a coffee or tea drinker so I'm just water. I try to make up when I get home, but I know that's not good. I'm at a point that I just want to maintain my current weight orsize. I literally just stepped on the scale before typing this sentence. I'm only .6 ounces from an even weight that I can live with. If I dip maybe 2 pounds down, I'm good. I don't want to be tiny. I'm purposely not sharing a number because I dont want to trigger anyone. Monday night I opened a plastic totem of clothes that has clothes from like 10 years ago when I was smaller. Everything except two items fit. It was an awesome Monday night. The two things that did not fit were too big. I'm good here. I'm happy to go down maybe two more because I expect maybe a 3-5 pound fluctuation during maintenance so I want some wiggle room. What I'm not doing good at all? I'm not weight training or strength training. Ugh! Walking, i love. But, i just haven't done what I'm supposed to do with this area. I know i need to but i just get no pleasure from the thought of that weight stuff. Help! Man, long message. I wish all the best to everyone. Would love to hear from folks. Please dont compare your journey to anyone else. If you are a newbie here to the WLS journey, please know that it gets easier around Month 2 post surgery. The first few days will certainly be a challenge. You just had surgery. The first month will be a different experience for you than life before surgery. But as you get into your flow past Month 2, it's not that bad. For me, it's not bad at all. I don't miss the bad stuff I ate. I don't feel like I'm suffering in life. I'm not food deprived. I love having restriction. I don't have any longterm medical issues from the sleeve. You will read a range of horror stories and pleasant stories. Experiences fall on a huge continuum. My experience is just mine. Your experience will be your experience. Be clear about why you are doing this. It is not an easy fix at all. It takes commitment and clarity. All the best to everyone.

I lost a total of 2 lbs on my pre-op diet. I have had good weight loss since surgery. It looks like you already lost weight prior to your pre-op diet, which means you didn't have the "water weight" that a lot of people lose during the pre-op diet. Don't Panic!

# 1 rule - don't compare yourself to others. People lose weight at all different rates due a bunch of different factors, many of which you have little to no control over - starting BMI, age, gender, genetics, metabolic rate, body composition (how much muscle vs fat vs bone you have), how much weight you lost prior to surgery, etc. The only two things you DO have a lot of control over is how closely you stick to your clinic's eating plan and your activity level. If you do well with both of those things, then you WILL lose the weight, whether fast or slow. I was a slow loser from the get-go. I was behind my "co-hort" pretty much the whole time (I know this because of an insensitive comment by a medical resident who did a couple of my follow-up appts). But I kept plugging away and ended up losing ALL of my excess weight, over 200 lbs. if you follow your program, stay active, and your general weight trend is down, you're golden.

I’m nearly 4 weeks on Monday out since the gastric sleeve, I spoke with my Bariatric nurse yesterday she said it’s very common around this time to stall and she explained when you were on a normal diet that you get stalls and don’t lose every week. but it will start coming off again. I haven’t lost anything in over a week but I also have my period and I normally put water weight on while I’m on it and so next week I’m probably going to start losing, fingers crossed, so don’t worry about the stalls, they happen and it’s just your body trying to catch up with the little amounts of food and getting over the stress of the op.

Secret: Not being the biggest person in the group anymore. And a big one -I've ALWAYS been able to lift my partner. I long for the day he can not only pick me up, but I don't panic and beg him to put me down before he hurts himself! Not secret: No longer checking the weight restrictions on things. Climbing a ladder without fear! Sitting on any chair without worrying if I'm going to break it. Really and truly being the little spoon.

I am scheduled for surgery next Tuesday the 9th and am starting to worry that my lack of significant weight loss on the pre-op diet is a sign that I won't lose as much weight post-op as I would like. I've followed the instructions pretty closely--1000 calories a day, 60-80 grams of protein. I lost about 6 pounds the first week but have only lost about .2 in the last 3 days. Other people I have spoken with who have had the surgery lost 10 pounds or more during the pre-op diet, so my mid-diet plateau does have me a little concerned. My surgeon doesn't require a strictly liquid diet, so I don't know if that has something to do with it. Is my pre-op weight loss normal/how much did you lose during the pre-op?

This is one of those times when being a guy is a blessing—we tend to drop weight FAST after surgery. (There are exceptions!) You'll be shocked how quickly your health problems resolve. I was off ALL of my blood pressure meds (amlodipine 10 mg - a calcium channel blocker; losartan 100 mg - an angiotensin II receptor antagonist; and hydrochlorothiazide - a diuretic) within a month after surgery. I'm curious to have my cholesterol checked. I've never had bad cholesterol, usually it's firmly in the 140 range though it's been as low as 110 which apparently is bad for your testosterone if you're a guy. Like you, I am pretty active, both athletically and in a side thing which is fairly physical and outdoors.

Don't be discouraged. And don't beat yourself up! Be nice to our friend greenwitch17, she's pretty awesome. The delays are unfortunate. Did the former office at least get you started on whatever program is needed for your insurance to cover? Some insurances like to see 3 or 6 months of "medically supervised weight loss" 🙄before you can move forward with surgery. Or there are all sorts of other hurdles, like getting sign-off from your psychiatrist, etc. As for the depression—many of us have been there. I am discovering that my weight was a HUGE part of my depression, both emotionally ("why can't I lose this weight, what is wrong with me") and physically (obesity causes depression which causes obesity, etc., etc., etc.). I am on a quarter dose of my antidepressant which feels liberating because I don't have many bouts of depression anymore even on such a low dose. They're going to try to take me off in a couple of months, and I'm curious whether that will actually happen. (My depression manifests as lethargy and The Impossible Task™.) You will get there. And we're here for you both now and later. And a year from now you're going to be living your best life, #hotgirlsummer or whatever hashtag we're using next year.

All parts of your brain are spot on. The idea of feeling better in your own skin and being healthier is appealing. It *IS* possible to do it without surgery. Up to a massive 3% of morbidly obese people actually accomplish lasting weight loss without surgery. I wasn't one of the 3%. For years I got bigger and bigger with the belief I could do it through diet and exercise. I finally admitted I couldn't. Fearing the unknown is a waste of time and energy. Commit to dealing with whatever comes, period. So many people speak of regretting surgery because of pain in the first few weeks post-op. Consider problems as the cost of getting from here to there. Every fear you have has an answer. Do research on your fears. Knowledge is power. Every problem you encounter in the first weeks or months post-op are simply the price of admission. Problems will teach you to listen to your surgery teaching you to live again. Good luck, Tek

you really do need to take your vitamins. Gastric bypass involves malabsorption of nutrients, so you could develop deficiencies over time. Some deficiencies you can recover from, and others not. Taking vitamins for life is part of the deal. on your other topic, if you stick to your plan, you'll eventually get to your goal. The closer you get to it, the slower the weight loss will be. The last few months I lost like 2 lbs (about a kilo) a month, but I kept at it and the weight loss didn't stop until I was 20 months out.

I'm 3 weeks out from gastric bypass surgery. Weight loss has stalled.

I think people notice, but are quicker to comment on the negatives then the positives unfortunately! If they don’t notice my weight loss yet at 60lbs I like to think they notice my confidence gain lol.

I think those thoughts are pretty normal. I had them myself. BUT....I know what would happen because it happened a million times before. I tried to lose weight for DECADES (I'm in my 60s). On my more successful attempts, I'd lose 50 or 60 lbs. I'd sit there for a couple of months, and then the weight would start piling back on. On my less successful attempts, I'd lose maybe 20 lbs. Same thing. Every time. Over and over. For decades. I was over 200 lbs overweight. I finally had to get real with myself. If I couldn't even keep 50 lbs off, how in the heck was I going to lose and keep off 200 lbs? I came to the conclusion that weight loss surgery was the only way I was ever going to get the weight off and keep it off. I'd do it again in a heartbeat and my only regret is that I didn't do it years ago.

Hi Its been a year since my WLS and I am roughly a stone / 14lbs away from my goal. I have been a slow loser, there are times I have slipped up which lasted for weeks, due to changes in my life. However when I am consistent about my eating, weight loss widely varies. All I do is make sure I eat around 700 calories a day. The content of the food is mostly carbs / processed food, but it keeps me happy. I dont monitor my water intake but I do drink alot of tea / coffee. I also dont take vitamins or supplements as I hate swallowing pills, but I suspect that has an effect on my energy levels. Dinner is my main meal , so doing physical activity before that is difficult. Also....I know u cant eat and drink at the same time. But for half of the year, I ve not been leaving a 20 min gap between food and drink. Mostly because of time constraints (work) and yeah laziness. This is definetly gonna stretch my stomach inthe long run right? So any tips to improve weight loss is appreciated, thanks.

I sure do hope it goes back to normal eventually. I don't like not knowing when it's coming nor this extreme bloatedness I'm experiencing. I swear I'm retaining like 8lbs of water weight right now. It's nuts. And of course I'm no longer on my prescribed water pill (that went with my BP pill) so no help there either. Ugh!

Thank you for your thoughtful post. Right now I'm scouring through the "NSV" thread that was quoted above, and my heart is letting some joy come in thinking of these things. Having lost some weight before, I can recall how GOOD some of them felt. So freaking GOOD! Congratulations on your being thisclose to the twos as well. I never thought I'd see 300 again, and I did just before my pre-op diet. That, also, was a reminder to me of where I've been, how far I've come, and where I want to be a couple years from now. ♥️

I had exactly the same thoughts... if I can drop this weight like this during the pre-op diet, why can't I just... continue? But I couldn't have, and I talked to my surgeon's staff about it. The pre-op diet (not that I had one necessarily, I put myself on it so I didn't go from nought to sixty in one day) is meant to be a crash diet. It is meant to shrink things and get a little visceral fat off you so that it's safer to do laparoscopic surgery. It is not sustainable long-term without surgery, and it is not meant to be. The other thing is—all or nearly all of us have binge-eaten in our past. Whether we have a healthy or unhealthy relationship with food, we've all overindulged. Well, after surgery, you literally CAN'T binge... and, bizarrely enough, most people don't WANT to. The first time you take ONE BITE too much, you will really feel that restriction and the resulting sensations (for me, it's massive chest pressure, and terrible gas that causes me to spit up) will make sure you learn what "full" feels like. I was a pizza eater. I could demolish an entire pizza myself in one sitting, because once I started I couldn't stop. Yesterday (just over 7 weeks post-op) I delivered pizza to my daughter's dress rehearsal, opened up the box, took a slice, had one bite, shrugged, and threw the rest of the slice away. It's like my body's been given this tool and it is forcing my brain to reckon with how I eat/ate. I wish I had found this site and gone for this surgery ten or more years ago. When I was nervous about the surgery—I had exactly the same thoughts as you—my family reminded me that I had tried REALLY hard, and never gotten below 330, then gained it all back until I was two cheeseburgers shy of 400 lbs. I went below that 330 mark 13 days after surgery. I'm now closing in on TWOsday, and I honestly feel like a different (and happier) person. Ultimately, only you can make the decision, but I think you'll find the ratio of yeasayers to naysayers here at BariatricPal to be massively tilted in the "yes do it" direction.

That is astonishing. Well done! And inspirational. I am closing in on double digits down from my start weight (in old money!) and can't wait for that to happen.

I did not have a lot for some reason but it is not at all uncommon to have doubts pre surgery. It is a major surgery which is a major decision. You are the only one who knows what’s truly best for you but my guess is that you are doing this because you have already tried everything else. Try to focus on WHY you want the surgery? And your non scale goals. You started down this path for a reason. What is your why and what do you hope to gain. There is a thread on here called “weirdest non scale victories” that I think everyone considering WLS should read. It will help you if you don’t already have a list on non scale goals for after surgery.