marjon9

I don't have much to add to the posts above but I just wanted to say howdy since I'm having my surgery on 1/16 also. That probably makes us bonded for eternity in the cosmos, or something like that. I feel like I will have a good experience with the band if I can get through the first six weeks and then on to the place where restriction is relatively accurate for my needs. But I am quite anxious about the process leading up to that. I work long hours and I don't want to be starving or sliming or whatever people do who have these things. I hope I am able to get to the right fill level fairly quickly. Overall though, once I get through the "setup and installation" phase, I am really optimistic that this is going to be very helpful to me. The best thing is, you can eat as much as you want of anything all the time and still lose weight!!! (just kidding).

Good luck on the smoking, chubbola. Quitting is so hard. I was FINALLY able to do it about ten years ago after trying many times. The only help I can offer is to give an endorsement to the Nicoret gum. That did help me at the time, I recall. I assume that is OK on a pre-op diet, but I'm not sure. Unfortunately there is no "band" for smoking. It would be great if you could put a "neck band" around your throat to stop smoking. I can imagine going for a "fill" for your "neck band." An "overfill" might be a serious problem, if you see what I mean. No, there is no real help on this. It's just something that has to be done one day at a time and it is not easy. Yes, of course it's worth it, but you know that. Good luck. Mark

Currently I measure my food with a backhoe. Oh, wait a minute, you meant after the lap band is put in. Sorry, I'll have to get back to you on that after 1/16 :welldone2:

Wow, in just six months! That's inspiring and encouraging. Maybe 2007 can be my big year. Or should I say "small" year.

This is exactly how I see it. The journey from "morbidly obese" to "healthy" involves far more than weight loss. It's an unpredictable process that will require us to face demons and reinvent ourselves and it will lead to a totally new person in ways we cannot imagine at the beginning of the journey. That's why I think that a month after insertion of a lap band is not the ideal time to start looking for a serious relationship. I also think it is unrealistic to say that a person is expected to be attracted to my "inner beauty," and if they would have any problem at all with my morbid obesity I should scratch them off the list forever and label them a shallow loser. Physical attraction is part of the package in romantic relationships. At the beginning it is a very large part of the package. I think it's a little bit self-delusional to believe otherwise. And besides, when huge volumes of fat hang on the outside of a person this represents something more than just a totally external thing that is completely separate and unconnected to a person's "inner beauty." These huge volumes of fat show a lot about the inside of a person. All of us who have allowed ourselves to become morbidly obese have not been treating ourselves with great love and respect (I definitely include myself here, of course). And I am not comfortable blaming and external cause for my obesity. I feel like I need to take responsibility for what I've done to myself even though I might be a "big boned" guy with a naturally "low metabolism." I did this to myself, plain and simple. I'm not attracted to fat women in part because I don't really want to date someone seriously who does not love and respect herself. If later she changes and starts to love and respect herself enough to become healthy, then she may become a person I'd like to consider for a romantic relationship. I just don't think that's a "shallow" way to be. And if it is shallow, then human beings acting naturally are inherently shallow.

Thanks for the responses. By the way, I don't mean to get on a soap box but sleep apnea is a very serious thing. I had it for years without knowing it. I was feeling more and more tired all the time and started experiencing irregular heartbeats. One day my wife said to me "um, dear, do you realize you often stop breathing for, like, 30 seconds at a time when you sleep? And, dear, do you realize that when you snore you sound like the cars as they are being crushed at the Monster Truck Extravaganza?" So, I went to the doc, and the rest is history. I really think I might be dead right now without my CPAP. I certainly intend to lose the CPAP when I lose the weight, but until then, Gotta Have It!

I tried posting a reply on this thread a while back and it seems that it did not go through. I'll try again, sorry if this turns out to be a duplicate. I'm just wondering, following up on the question of the original poster, has anyone had a doctor express concern about a person's apnea in relation to the actual surgery and the immediate recovery time thereafter? As everyone knows, when you have apnea you can stop breathing. I would imagine this could be especially troubling when you are on general anesthesia. Isn't it possible that this could be an issue during and immediately after surgery?

pennywise, you mention that you don't want to go to Mexico. That seems to imply that you could afford the $8500 fee the Mexican docs seem to be charging, but just don't want to go to Mexico. Well, Dr. Kirshenbaum in Denver is doing them for $9950, complete, including 3 monts of aftercare and then $15 fills thereafter. http://www.lapbandrockies.com/ Just a thought.

Pennywise, I have not done the math but I would bet for myself I will save enough on my food bill alone to cover the cost of a monthly payment for the surgery, and that does not count savings on medical bills. I think this is too important to let money be the reason not to do it. financing options are available. If you need to do this and you are ready to do this, I think that money is not a big enough obstacle to defeat your plans. I know it is easy for me to say that when I don't know your situation, but I know I'm going to save at least $300 per month just on food. I believe there must be a way for you too. Mark

Can't wait to hear about it. Good luck!

Thanks, sorry I misunderstood. No need to apologize at all. It's so hard to convey clear meaning with these quickly written posts. I want to add one other thing reading over this thread. And that is there have been several comments about how "shallow" us "loser" guys are because we are not attracted to fat women. I think that is not fair. We are all products of this society. Fat is not in right now ( or for the last 100 years or so). You can blame guys for being shallow if you want, but it's not going to get you where you want to go. Most men don't like fat women. That's just how it is. And believe me, it's the same the other way. When I was younger I was quite a good looking fellow and had women interested in me quite often. As I gained weight the interest just melted away. Now, if a woman looks at me at all, it's usually with a bit of a curled lip of contempt like "as if, you loser." So where is it going to get any of us to blame the opposite sex for how "shallow" we are. It's just not a useful approach. For me, where the whole thing comes down to at this point in my life is this: Fat is unhealty. I want to honor myself and my life by being healthy. Naturally, if I do that I will be more attractive to my wife. But that is not my motivation. My motivation is to honor my life. Before it's too late. I don't want to die fat. I'd have too much 'splainin' to do.

I did read your post totally before responding. In your initial post you did seem to imply that you had not mentioned your weight to this guy. I'm glad to see that is not correct. What I did not read before sending my message is what was said after your initial post by you and others. I did not read those posts because it took me quite a while to write that note to you, and by that time there were several other responses. I can see you are a little angry about what I wrote to you. But I honestly don't see why. If you are going to meet someone who knows exactly what you look like and is interested in meeting you, then that sounds great. There is nothing in my note that is inconsistent with that. Best wishes to you.

I am a "guy," as you ladies like to call us. I feel like I want to answer your post even though I may not have the type of response that you are looking for. But I feel like the best way I can offer you "support" is to give an honest response from a "guy's" point of view. It is courageous to get back into the dating world, and I congratulate you for that. But if I were your brother and I wanted to help you succeed, I would tell you that you need to consider some things about your approach to the dating process. Please take these thoughts in the spirit they are intended, which is to offer a guy's point of view on finding a great relationship. First, I get the impression from your post that you have not discussed weight or physical appearance with this guy, or traded photos. If that is correct, then in my opinion you are setting yourself up to be rejected. You are correct that "people should care for you based on who you are and not based on what the scale says," but if you show up for this date without telling this guy you are heavy then you are asking this complete stranger to "care for you" even though you are both heavy and dishonest. I think that people who are overweight can be lovable, but I am not too keen on people who are dishonest. In this world we live in, being fat matters. I'm fat, so I have a right to talk. Dating, especially blind dates with a total stranger, is very much about physical attraction. You know that. By failing to mention something significant about your physical appearance you are lying by omission. That is not respectful to the person you are meeting. It is true that people deserve love even if they are fat. But you can't expect a guy on a blind date to "love" you based on the "inner truth" about "who you are." He's just there to see if he is attracted to you, and if he is (and if he is a decent fellow), to begin the process of getting to know you. The "loving you for who you are" part, "regardless of what the scale says," is not for first meetings and blind dates. I think if you are going to try to get back into the dating world right now, you need to be totally up front about your physical appearance, including photos, before you meet the person. But I can also tell you this. If you are honest about being significantly overweight, and you try to meet people through online dating, you will almost certainly not meet the type of man you'd really like to get to know. That's just the way it is in this superficial world. I'm not saying you don't deserve a relationship right now, but I think that in order to find a good relationship while you are fat it is going to have to be based on getting to know people over time, in person, face to face, and not based on online dating where people make immediate decisions based on three lines in an ad and a small photograph. If you are sold on online dating, which I have done plenty of myself at various times, I'd say wait 6 months or more until you have lost significant weight from your lap band. This is the time for recreating yourself, facing demons, and getting to know yourself again. Who knows who you will be 6 months or a year from now? Once that process is well under way, then that might be a better time for beginning the process of hooking up with someone to share it with. I know this is undoubtedly not the type of "support" you were looking for. I hope you will find this "guy's" point of view to be worth considering. At your age you have all the time in the world. I know you will find the perfect mate at the right time. Best wishes to you in your journey.

I can sort of understand that. My own self image is still much thinner than reality. I'm at about 340 now and that's pretty big. But in my mind's eye I'm about 250. The thing that shocked me is I was dancing at a party with my wife and I saw the video tape. I really could not believe my eyes. I looked like a character from Fantasia, the Hippo in a tutu (except the Hippo was a better dancer). So, it's the lap band for me. Surgery is 1/16.

Kirsten, I'm traveling from Maryland. Still looking to see if I can find fill docs in this area.

Like, totally (as the saying goes).

When I first decided to get banded (surgery set now for 1/16) I figured I'd be open and tell everyone. But then, much to my surprise, I started to get the same reaction you describe, where people are not supportive and they tell me I should not do it and I should just eat less and exercise more. I really thought people would be more supportive. I'm thinking of not talking about it much for a while. People who don't have a food/weight problem just really don't seem to understand. As for your other concerns, ultimately these are decisions only you can make. But as I understand it, the risk of life-threatening complications from band surgery is extremely small. It's not zero, but it's very small. Obviously in the long run, the weight is much more likely to be a serious health issue than the band surgery. As for your other concern, I would really try to get at least a few days off after surgery if at all possible. Call in sick, if nothing else. I think that planning on going back to a very demanding, on your feet work schedule the very next day is a bad idea. I would think about trying to avoid that. It sounds like this nursing thing is very important to you and you are totally committed, and that is wonderful. But I feel sure there is still a way for you to get a few days off for something as important as this. You may be inviting bigger problems if you don't do that for yourself. Best to you in sorting it all out.

I had a phone consult with Dr. Kirshenbaum a few days ago and I'm scheduled for surgery 1/16. He is very personable and helpful on the phone. He said he has done 60 Lap Bands now over the last couple years. That is not a very large number but he is also a very experienced laparoscopic surgeon in general so I feel OK about it. I was also concerned about his low price, but as a self pay I have to go that direction. He says he wants to give people an alternative to Mexico, and I don't have any reason to doubt his motives. Personally I think that there are many excellent Mexican doctors, many people have had great experiences with them. But I still wanted to get the surgery done in the U.S. because I hear it is a little easier to get aftercare that way. At this price, $9950, it's pretty much the same as Mexico. He says that his patients so far have had no complications. I also had a phone consult with the nutritionist. She seemed quite knowledgable, too. So, I'm heading to Colorado in January! I'll let y'all know how it goes. Mark