Hi! I'm still a pre-op and completely relate. Obviously, all of us have tried and failed to get to this point. We all are optimistic for the future, as we need to be, but I suspect you and I are not alone in having the little naysaying voice. How many times have you started the latest program, sure that its the fix, ready to take on the world and still here you are? I know for me its hundreds of times. I don't think its a weakness or failing to have lingering questions and doubts...I think its human and normal.
I will also be continuing therapy post-op, so it seems we have both already taken steps towards coping with our new reality. I draw inspiration from the others here who have gone down this path...each equally beaten down and discouraged who have come out the other end healthier and more satified with their quality of life. I try not to think in terms of success or failure, but in terms of progress. Will it get better? I believe it will. Someday I may be able to think in terms of a hard goal, but for me its the repetitive frustration of not acheiving the "ultimate' that morphs into self sabotage...
Talk candidly with your doctor and therapist. In who's eyes are you afraid of failing? Yours, or someone elses? Work through whichever answer it is with your support system and believe that tomorrow will be better than today. Give yourself permission to not always be at your "Best", but to keep on the journey. Let us know how it goes tomorrow.....