EEE3

I can't believe I haven't "officially" been back on this site sooner. Life has been busy. Shortly, after my surgery my mom took a turn for the worse and until May 12, 2011. My days were work, family and mom. Taking care of her was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Watching a loved one suffer is heart wrenching. My life was consumed and now since she is dancing with the angels I am slowly trying to put my world back together. The empty space in time and in my heart haven't been so easy on the new lapband life and I admit that I could have done better but I'm back. I've lost 80 pounds as of today and would like to lose another 40. One foot in front of the other - one day at a time. I can't figure out the new site so for all of those July 2010 bandsters and my friends. I send you love and good wishes. The reality of all of this process is about love - self love and then our love for one another. Say it often. Blessings! Elizabeth

Thank you goddesses! The good thing for me is they built a new court house and it is .6 miles each way so with all my running back and forth - I'm averaging about 18,000 steps a day - if I was more patient I would figure out how many miles that is! One day! Blessings! PS You are a saint if you were at a school - I have always told my childrens' teachers I will take criminals any day. See that is patience!

Another broken promise! I suck! I promised myself I would write more often and be more present HERE . . . hmm, that isn’t going so well. I popped on this evening because I actually made it home before 8 p.m. and thought about all you beautiful women when I did it. I had a few how you doing messages and thought, I better at least post a blog and say hola!! Work is crazy. Crime doesn’t stop. For those of you who don’t know, I’m a victim advocate with the DA’s office. Lately, nothing but homicides and sexual assaults; to say it has been INSANE at work is an understatement. Nonstop trials and nonstop crime. I often joke that even if crime in Denver stopped for a month we would still be busy. Sadly, it is true. Anyway, I haven’t magically lost another 50 pounds in the 4 weeks I have been a way. D*mn! I wish! I’m at 38 or 39 pounds. It would have been more but two weeks ago I did a four day and four pound gain trip to New Orleans. Didn’t eat it on – how sad is that? Actually, couldn’t eat much there. Not a vegetarian town but oh my goodness did I get my drink on! It was a girl trip – celebrating the upcoming wedding of my best friend – lush event. I’m not a drinker but those drinks there are yummy and who cannot dance and drink at the same time! I know! I know! Excuses! Excuses. I lost all of it and two more pounds in a week but I had to work it! I felt bad though! Thank goodness I only visit there once a year! I had my first fill on the 26th of August and it was piece of cake. I was worried for nothing. Doctor showed me exactly where my port was and felt it for the first time. Strange! I have my second fill next week on the 30th. I definitely feel restriction but am ready for the next one. Oh and my significant other and I joined 24 hour fitness. I’m working through my own head and self-esteem issues about being a fat girl at the gym. I’m doing it though! That’s my update. You all have to leave a note and let me know how you are doing. I love to hear about you all – even if I am horrid at updating. I’ll try to post some pictures after my BFF gets married. She is Indian and we are all wearing sarees. I’m her Goddess of Honor! LOVE it! And of course, I’m sending lots of love and good energy to you all too! Hugs, Elizabeth

You are AMAZING! You go beautiful! LOVE it!

You know I'm new to this weight loss thing but in my spiritual practices when I feel blah or like I'm not making progress I have learned that sometimes I have embrace the quiet and the moment because what comes next is big! I imagine it is similar here. And my friend, 8 pounds since 7/6 is alot. You are doing awesome and if none of that feels better then think of yourself a year ago and now look at yourself now. More and more each day you are evolving into an even more beautiful goddess! You are doing awesome!!! Hugs~Elizabeth

Okay . . . why why why did my doctor have to tell me I wasn't restricted. It's true and it is a LIE!!! So, my dumb, fluffy arse had a long day at work - 12 hours plus! I got a new case that ranks in my top ten of most awful crimes ever. Just when I think I have seen it all or think maybe I have become jaded to what we can do to one another as human beings I get shocked! And even after 22 years in the business, I am stunned by this one! And to top it off, our jury came back not guilty on an assault on an at risk person so, I'm sure you are getting the picture - not a good day! I decide I'm going to cook this yummy vegetarian dish. Moroccan Spiced Sweet Potato Medley. It's healthy. It's spicy. It's yummy. Only, I didn't have any cilantro or raisins. I stop at the store. Fresh hot bread. The smell was enough to make me think about committing a crime of my own. Bread is my weakness! Hot bread - well I could kill for it!! I know you all see the writing on the fat girl wall. Yes, I bought it. It was for the boys not me! The lies we tell ourselves! I get home cut a piece after all the doctor said I wasn't restricted. What could one piece hurt? And my dumb arse ate it. Then I ate a second one. I felt fine for a minute and then it came . . . chest crushing pain and a feeling of something being stuck in the center of my chest. Or maybe it was the feeling of an elephant sitting dead smack in the middle of my chest. Whatever it was - it wasn't good! You can only guess I experienced my first episode of PBing! DISGUSTING. Now, I know what other bandsters are talking about! OH SO GROSS! And as I told my daughter and now my grand-daughter - pretty women don't do that! Laughing out loud - nothing pretty about a fat girl moment! So, no Moroccan Spiced Sweet Potato Medley for me. Not even one damn bite - I'm too afraid! First fill - hurry up! I've lost 27 pounds (in 3.5 weeks) and been stuck there for 5 days - I am sure my punishment for fat girl moment will be two fold. PBing and a movement in the wrong direction on the scale tomorrow morning. GRRRR!!! Lessons I'm learning . . . 1. Old habits are hard to break. 2. Stay away from grocery stores after work when the hot bread now is like a smellorama from hell! 3. Pay attention to emotions and why I eat! Better luck next time!

It's a conspiracy against the fat people who worship bread! LOL - HUGS!!

I love you ladies! Guess what I got on the scale this morning and lost a pound! Go figure! That being said it will be a LOOOOONG time before I have a bread moment again. No promises on the fat girl moments - I can only try! Here is the recipe. I like it HOT so I use canned Rotel tomatoes and lots more red pepper. If your local grocery store doesn’t have bulgur then try Whole Foods (aka Whole Paycheck or any organic market – it’s not expensive and good in recipe!) You can use yams or sweet potatoes. There is NO way you can eat a full serving even if you are having a fat girl moment so the calories listed below would have to be determined by how much of a serving you had! It says plain yogurt is optional but if you put a dollop of plain Greek yogurt on top it is delicious and you get extra protein! Enjoy!!! Ingredients: 2 teaspoons olive oil 1 medium onion, sliced 2 garlic cloves, crushed with garlic press 1-1/2 teaspoons ground coriander 1-1/2 teaspoons ground cumin 1 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon ground red pepper (cayenne) 1-1/2 pounds sweet potatoes (about 2 medium), peeled and cut into 3/4-inch pieces 1 can (14-1/2 ounces) stewed tomatoes 1 cup bulgur (cracked wheat) 1 can (15 to 19 ounces) garbanzo beans, drained and rinsed 1/2 cup dark seedless raisins 1 cup loosely packed fresh cilantro leaves, chopped Plain low-fat yogurt (optional) Directions: In nonstick 12-inch skillet, heat oil over medium heat until hot. Add onion and cook, covered, about 8 minutes or until tender and golden, stirring occasionally. Add garlic, coriander, cumin, salt, and ground red pepper, and cook 1 minute, stirring. Add potatoes, tomatoes, bulgur, and 2 1/4 cups water; heat to boiling over medium-high heat. Reduce heat to medium-low; cover and simmer about 20 minutes or until potatoes are fork-tender. Stir in beans, raisins, and cilantro; heat through. Serve with yogurt if you like. 4 main-dish servings Per serving: Calories: 525, Total Fat: 5g, Saturated Fat: 1g, Cholesterol: 0mg, Sodium: 1080mg, Carbohydrates: 109g, Protein: 16g

I think your progress is amazing. You CAN make 170! Congratulations on all your hard work!

I went to the movies yesterday, on the last official day of my non vacation. I call it a non-vacation because I thought before I had this surgery that I would be strong enough to get my proverbial house in order. You know extra energy to clean out all of the closets and clean out my garage which has somehow become the holding cell of 15 years worth of life. That’s a lot of stuff especially when you consider that in the garage there are belongings of my dead paternal family (grandfather, father and grandmother all dead in a 9 month period of time – now that was a tough year) and a maternal grandmother who left this plane a while ago and a maternal grandfather who at age 90 packed his house up and gave it all away in order to live in a retirement community. Now, he basically vacillates between waiting to die and wanting not to. He hasn’t decided which realm he wants to live in. I say all that to say it’s a lot of stuff. An attic full and built in cabinets full not to mention the boxes. I’ve been divorced a long time and the tool area of my garage is well, limited at best. I think you get the picture – a lot of stuff! Anyway, I went to the movies with a woman who inspires me. She has single handled saved more refugees than anyone know. When I say refugees – think about Darfur, Somali, Sudan, Rwanda, Burma and countless other countries where people are murdered and tortured and raped in the most horrific of ways and most of us aren’t brave enough to even look let alone help. And there isn’t judgment in that statement – it just is the way we are. I know those stories – I’ve listened to them but, for a fraction of the time she has. We saw The Kids Are All Right, which I enjoyed. It was a nice break from the routine my life has become since surgery. My back is acting up since the surgery and despite an emergency epidural steroid injection there hasn’t been much relief. Sitting is hell but, I did it because I like her and because she sent me an email a few weeks before my surgery that screamed sorrow. I don’t think anyone should sit in that place too long or alone. Call me Pollyanna but I do still believe in the power of love. After the film, she sat with me on a leather chair in the middle of the mall and she cried for two hours. Big tears that left trails in even the most perfect of skin. My heart broke with her. I listened because I have learned that listening is a gift we so rarely offer one another and since leaving her I can’t stop thinking about sorrow. I’ve spent a lifetime in one form of suffering or another – maybe we all have. I think I have a good handle on suffering and I really do believe that in every one of our tears there is a gift. A lesson offered, a way to embrace wisdom or a path to our own soul’s evolution. When we get better so does the world. I need it to have meaning and to matter. I go back to work Monday and I jump straight into trial. I told Udai, that it’s good I have a month before September. I’m scared of September. I’m scared of the case that I know if the jury finds the defendant not guilty I will break. I know I’ve over stepped my boundaries but, some things in life are so horrific that they hardly seem human or better said the perpetrators hardly seem human. Some crimes are so monstrous they can’t even be spoken out loud because the ears and the hearts of the person listening would die. I carry those stories and sometimes, people’s sorrow haunts me. She is a victim I will carry to the fire. Today, my house is quiet. My son out at a birthday party with his girlfriend. Udai at work – scrambling to make it through audits. I am pissed that my back hurts and then I step back and I think, how dare you feel self-sympathy when there is so much suffering the world and in that suffering the most intense beauty. The rawness of humanity humbles me and leaves my head bowed in deep gratitude to life and to all that is Divine.

I asked my doc about the sharp pain in port that is random. He said the port is sewn into muscle and so the top layer of our flesh will move and the muscle is healing and so it will pull until it completely heals (6 weeks). I think if it is random and not too severe not to worry. Good luck ladies!

Yeah! Congratulations 20 pounds is a big deal. Yesterday I tried on jeans I haven't worn since I went to Italy 3 years ago! OMG they fit! I was one happy girl! Now if only the other 80 would go! Like you I know it will happen. I didn't realize we were so close in surgery dates. How fun we get to do this journey together. God bless and keep up the amazing work. I hope you are proud of you because I am proud of you! Elizabeth

I love the wisdom of this site. I haven't had a fill yet but am definitely going to remember this and do it when the time comes! Blessings beautiful!

Way to go girlfriend! Love this blog! And not only do you get skinny but oh so many shopping excuses! Love it! Have a great weekend! Elizabeth

IndigoGirl! Wow! I love this post and like the others you should toot your own horn. You are amazing and definitely an inspiration! Thank you so very much for sharing your story, your wisdom and your hard earned success with us! You are a hero honey! Many blessings, Elizabeth

Hello Fellow Bandsters! I just thought I would post a quick update. I had my two week follow up yesterday. Dr. Brown said I had lost 21 pounds. I was shocked! He was really happy. He said because there is no fill - no restriction most people don't lose much until they get that first fill. He told me not to be upset if I gain a few pounds before my fill (2.5 weeks from now) and I told him that wasn't an option! I'll try any way. I am definitely hungry now a few hours after I eat and can eat anything but am avoiding all the things I know I won't be able to eat in the future - bread, pasta, and rice. I'm a vegetarian and have been eating a lot of Indian (good thing I can cook it) so it is filled with protein and that is good. I am still having issues with loose stools (gross I know) but hopefully that will get better with time. I go back to the life of fighting crime on Monday and actually am excited to go back to work. I miss it! Pathetic I know! I hope everyone else (especially the July folks) are doing well. Peace and blessings, Elizabeth

Thank you everyone! I am happy that I'm finally feeling good and that it is working! You know we all have those little doubts . . . what if it doesn't work for me and I just spent thousands of dollars for nothing. You are all amazing and such a blessing in my life! Thank you again! Dadkins8 - Kaiser (Dr. Brown) has you eat thick liquids for first 2 weeks and then progress to mushy foods for week three. I can send you more info from the booklet they gave us if you would like - just shoot me an email ladyeey@aol.com. Congratulations and best of luck!