curlicue22

Well today is the day. I can't believe its here. I am so excited, nerves, and scared all in one.

Ok. I don’t know if I am starting to freak out since surgery is scheduled for February 5 and it just a couple days away or if its because I have been reading more and more on this site. Some people make it very clear that they use the lap-band as a tool and something that helps with portion control. These people sound like they still eat most of the foods they did before just in a lot smaller amounts. Others make it sound like I will be eating cottage cheese and protein shakes for the rest of my life. Guess I am wondering do people still get to have food like pizza, wings, pasta? I am not talking about every night or once a week I am just talking about once in awhile and just a small slice not the whole pizza pie? Also how scary and bad is it when something gets stuck? Are there any hints that you can give me for getting over a stuck episode faster? I am really scared of this happening!!!!!! Thanks for everyone’s support and help that you have all been giving me!!!

Well I just got a call from my surgeon’s office they have to cancel my surgery. I am so crushed. She said she would call me back as soon as she had an idea of when I would be rescheduled. So now was do I stay on my pre-op diet? Man if the surgery was 2 weeks away still I think it would feel different but it was supposed to be Monday morning. I just have to remind myself it’s just a bump it the road.

I am in desperate need to find some support. My husband is not very supportive about me have “selective surgery”. I am not comfortable talking to him at all about it. I guess part of me feels embarrass and worried to fail again in front of him with many of my attempts to lose weight. Part of me also feels like he does not want me to succeed, not concisely but sub concisely. (examples: in the past when I had started to lose a lot of weight and being really good with that I eat the next thing that you know he is bring junk food, that I like, in the house and wanting me to sit with him and relax and we can just pick. Or getting a box of good chocolate and I have to do my best to avoid them.) He has also made joking comments of I will have to find another way to keep you fat. I know it sounds bad but he was joking. For some reason I really feel he thinks I will leave him if I lose weight and get more attention from other guys. I am less than 2 weeks away from surgery and I have not talked to him that much about it at all. I had an appointment last night about everything that I need to eat for the next 6 weeks after so when I came home I tried to talk to him and maybe get him a little interested but in the middle of the conversation he started talking to the dog and then went into the bathroom. At that point I just went to bed and I don’t even think he cared or realized. I don’t have any really close friends that I feel comfortable enough to talk to about have the lap band and I have not told my parents or sister since they have never really been supportive of me in my weight loss in the past. They just love to comment on how big I have gotten and what kind of health problems that it causing. I was raise to believe the skinner you are the prettier you are. I hear from my mom and sister “man you could be a pretty girl if you just loss weight.” And at that point I weighed between 150-160. So man they just have a field day now that I am at 200. I would love to find a GOOD therapist to go to. I know I need to work on more than just my weight. That my head needs some work also. Now that I am committed to loss this weight I also need to committee to finding therapy. I have two young kids and one is a little girl and I really want to get to a place where I am happy and comfortable with myself. I know this is a long rambling post but I have been so sad and had so much going on in my head I really just need to get this out. Thanks for listening!!!!

#1. Surgery date? 2/1/10 #2. State you live in? Syracuse, New York #3. Doctor/Surgery Center? Dr. Copper #4. Insurance or self pay? Insurance BCBS #5. Age and height- 32, 5'1" #6. Current weight and goal weight? 204 and Goal 130 #7. What was your deciding factor for having this surgery? Health, self esteem, and 2 young kids. I want to be able to teach my kids to love them self and I can’t do that when right now I don’t. #8. Do you have the support of family and friends? Just my husband. He is not thrilled with selective surgery. #9. Concerns and questions? Something going wrong during surgery and my 2 kids not have a mom any more. And the unknown once I am banded.

Well I got some great news yesterday. I have been approved and now I am scheduled for February 1st. I am so excited and nerves. I am mostly nerves since right now I am in the middle of interviewing for a new job and I am worried about the chance of starting a new job in February and learning to live with a band. I 100% understand the lifestyle change and watching what and how I eat once I have the surgery. But I am wondering how hard of an adjustment it was for everyone that has already been banded. How much emotional or physical stuff did you go through the first few months after? Is it possible to adjust to the band and a new job?

Trust me I understand I work full time also and have 2 young kids. Cooper's office 3 times all morning at the hospital (for most of the test to get done) and a week after that I went to the hospital for a couple of hours for the nutritionist, and the physiologist. and for me that was it. so for a couple of weeks it was busy trying to get all the appointments done but I tried to get a many done in one day as I could.