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ifyourstomachoffendsyou

LAP-BAND Patients
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Everything posted by ifyourstomachoffendsyou

  1. ifyourstomachoffendsyou

    I'm here to help...

    Sounds like your DD's MIL wants to ruin the shower and your DD's relationship with her DH. She wants to be proven right that her DS shouldn't have married your DD. She's willing to risk your daughter's health and her grandchild's health by upsetting her as much as she possibly can while her pregnancy is in a precarious state. Your DD and her DH need to sit down together and decide how to deal with her. My suggestion would be that DH tell his DM that she has a choice: be in her grandchild's life, or not. If she wants to be in her grandchild's life, she has to keep her opinions to herself and stop causing trouble for his wife. If she doesn't want to participate in the shower, that would be sad for her. If he is not able to stand up to his mother for the sake of his wife and unborn child, then your DD and her DH have some serious issues to resolve between them. If he doesn't man up, your DD will have to be the one to write her MIL and tell her she's sorry she won't be attending the shower . Just that and no more. Then DD needs to breathe a sigh of relief that she won't have to deal with that biatch at the shower and can go ahead and have a good time. As far as you MIL is concerned, Lori, I think you should let your DH deal with her if she takes sides on this. Again, the "we want you to be part of your great-grandchild's life but if you choose not to, we will live with that" is the kind of boundary that needs to be set. By the way, I've only read the most recent posts, so don't know what's been going on. Recap anyone? I was with grandchildren all Saturday and Sunday so am way behind. My 4 year old DGD was teaching me how to use my Wii Fit Plus part of that time. LOL. Linda, I do remember your news about Aylah's mom. Hugs, girlfriend. It's always tough to be tough with someone who's the parent of a dear grandchild. You may need to be proactive in filing for temporary custody of Aylah in preparation for the mandatory reporting. Kelly, congrats. Cheri
  2. ifyourstomachoffendsyou

    I'm here to help...

    Apples, I think you did the right thing the way you handled her. You can't argue with someone like that and they need to have their own "Aha" moment. You can't force them. She has her own reasons for not believing you. I remember when I was going through my divorce and my ex would call me and start to yell at me for the things I was asking for in the settlement-things which I was entitled to by law. I would tell him I wasn't going to talk about that and hang up. He would tell the kids about it and they would start to yell at me for asking for those things, particularly my one son, who would tell me I hadn't done anything to earn them. I would tell him it wasn't his business and walk away. One time, my ex was in the driveway when i came home from a walk and he started telling me I was acting like a victim in the divorce and I looked at him and said, "John, I love you, I forgive you, and I am not your victim." And I walked away and went in the house. That was a very liberating moment for me. I really should have added, "Bless your heart." I have to remember that in the future. Taking a lot of Zicam and zinc cough drops has really limited the impact of this cold. Nyquil gave me a good night's sleep which is just essential to getting better. Funny thing happened when I was dealing with an ADHD oppositional child today. I laughed at him and told him that during the time he took to argue with me he could have learned all his times facts and he started to tell me he knows them and I laughed and said,"I love you Colby." Without thinking, in the middle of his argument, he responded,"I love you too." and kept arguing for a second and then looked like he wanted to to take it back and said, "Wait a..." The other kids burst out laughing and it was the highlight of my week. Chew! Chew! Cheri
  3. ifyourstomachoffendsyou

    I'm here to help...

    So, not all countries have been heard from, but the June date still seems a little better. Great and Laura you are maybes for that date but several others are no for April. Hopefully, with this much notice you can make the June 11 date work. Laura, Nels is the same age as my grandson and we might be able to arrange some playdates while you're out here to free you up if you come without hubby. Or maybe he could go stay with grandma and grandpa and buck them up for a few days. Where there's a will, there's a way. Caught a cold, trying to keep it mild with the zicam and zinc cough drops. Started taking them right away so that usually keeps the cold mild. Trying also to get more sleep, as I had trouble getting back into the go to bed early and get up at 5 a.m. thing. Didn't get much sleep the first two nights. Now I've got Nyquil to help me, LOL. Still doing higher Protein, lower carbs, smaller quantities. I find everyone's weigh in habits to be so funny. I weigh everyday. First thing I do after I pee. That's my daily accountability. Plus, once I got out of the habit of doing it as part of my daily routine, I'd never remember to do it. Plus, since its my own scale, I'm comparing apples to apples. I read today that people exercise a whole lot more if someone calls them regularly to remind them. So, this is my reminder, get your exercise in sometime tonight or tomorrow. Sometimes, when we fall off the train, the reasons we all give remind me of naughty children who just want to sneak a forbidden treat and go Nyah, Nah! We hate being controlled by others and by food restrictions imposed by others or by the necessity of our own physical condition. We know that to control diabetes and IBS and FM and RA, heart disease, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and many other conditions, restricting carbs (which increase pain and the severity of these conditions not to mention making us just plain fat) is hugely beneficial, but it makes us so angry that we can't eat the way we want that we rebel. Hopefully, with the loving support of others on LBT, we can keep those rebellions short so they don't do the kind of damage they used to and then we can climb back on that protein train. By the way, Linda, I've seen you. Except for the excess skin, you're almost scrawny. You have big bon bons also and that makes a difference, too. Very few people have perfect bodies. Some are thin on top and thick on the bottom and vice versa. Being ashamed of our basic shapes keeps us in bondage. We lose the weight but its never good enough because we didn't lose enough of it in the places we wanted to lose it. I think we all need to work on body image. We're an amazing group of beautiful women. Inside and out. When I look at you I see your hearts. And your hearts are written all over your faces. Your faces glow. You shine. And you light the way for others. Thanks for being there for me. Cheri Shame is another issue that keeps us from climbing back on the train if we've fallen off. We want to be seen as winners, not losers and shame keeps us in denial. So I'm not shaming anyone who's having difficulty staying on the train. Progress, not perfection. That's what its about. There are no small victories. If you've gained 20 lbs and are back on the train, that's better than when you used to gain it all back. I'm up 3 from my range and 5 from where I want to be. I've arrested the increase and am taking the steps to reverse it. Progress, not perfection. Cheri
  4. ifyourstomachoffendsyou

    I'm here to help...

    Hi all, Lost two big posts Sunday night. Then, last night, spent a huge amount of time just reading posts and spent considerable time talking to my sister. She took my parents to MI Sunday night and stayed overnite with them so they could tour the retirement facility by my brothers. My dad liked it and I think they've decided to go that route. After my mom and I went to the one in Crown Point IN I wrote my siblings about it and it seemed to really get the ball rolling. I really don't want my parents living alone anymore after this winter. I want them able to get to many activities without ever having to go outside. They are both so unstable now. My dad knows his balance is bad and my mom clings for dear life when we walk outside. I wrote them how my dad cut my daughter and her husband off in their vehicle without even looking. He's blind in one eye but has driven that way for years, but, he didn't even look that time. His loss of cognition was very apparent during that game of "Catch Phrase" at my sisters Christmas Day. So I think I acted as a catalyst. Trying to remember people's posts. I'm doing pretty well also with the food and exercise. Linda, I just wanted to remind you that you're probably carrying 10-15 lbs of excess skin and attached tissue so you can't go by BMI charts. Subtract at least 10 lbs from your current weight before you chart your BMI. I look thinner than I did at this weight in the past because at least 10lbs of this weight is excess skin and attached tissue. I'm wearing a smaller size, too. When I get below 160lbs I don't feel that well. I'm hungry all the time. I'm 5'9", look like I'm closer to 150 or 145 than 160, and really don't think I need to be any skinnier. I'm up 5 lbs right now but I know I can get that off quite easily and be comfortably at 160 again. Also, when your muscles are in good shape your weight is condensed in a smaller package. A lb of muscle takes less space than a lb of fat. So don't take BMI charts too seriously. What are your medical stats like? Blood pressure? cholesterol? sugar? Those are the charts to take seriously. Melissa, I hope you start loving yourself enough to start taking care of yourself. I would suggest you talk to insurance and government specialists to see what you can do about health care. It absolutely is unfair for your husband to criticize you for your weight and then lay a guilt trip on you about health care, which you have no control over. You are doing your best by working in a time when its difficult for people to hold down any job. Your husband needs to reinvestigate self-insurance for his company now that the laws have changed. However, you have to quit living in reaction to the people around you, their expectations, criticisms, lack of support, etc. Do you want to be healthy? Do you want to control your diabetes and liver tumors? I am convinced that we used the people around us and our codependance on them to keep ourselves unhealthy. Don't do it for them. Do it for yourself. Also, although I think more people can make the June 11 time, don't rule out the April date. Not everyone has "weighed" in on the issue. By the "weigh", meat is still the best whole Protein out there. Like Linda said, protein causes you to burn fat if you're avoiding carbs. You can eat more and I think you feel fuller. I hate to say this but veggies can make me hungry. They're mostly Water and make my stomach growl. I need my protein first and formost and always. Cheri Cheri
  5. ifyourstomachoffendsyou

    I'm here to help...

    So far, June 11 works for more people.
  6. ifyourstomachoffendsyou

    I'm here to help...

    So, I added Eva's. I'm thinking June 11.
  7. ifyourstomachoffendsyou

    I'm here to help...

  8. ifyourstomachoffendsyou

    I'm here to help...

    For those of you who posted while I was posting, I took my grandson's to see "Tangled" at an old theater in downtown Crown Point. Only $4 per person. We had fun. I babysat them for a few hours before the movie and played with them afterwards, too. This morning I went to church for the first time in the whole vacation. Unfortunately, the minister chose to say that in this New Year we should also be grateful for the difficult things that happened last year. I had to get up and walk out. I will never be grateful that one student was shot in the face with a shotgun and another was stabbed in the eye and body several times. I believe that God will bring about good from this tragedy for those of us who turn to him, but I will never be grateful for the tragedy itself. To me that showed a shallowness of belief and of thinking and was just plain bad theology. I started crying and walked out of church. My husband went home and went to bed but I went to another church where my parents and daughter's family attends. The music was so much better than our church's has become and the minister had a much deeper message to which I could relate. Hugged my grandkids and came home. Now, to do laundry and start putting away Christmas. Cheri
  9. ifyourstomachoffendsyou

    I'm here to help...

    Apples, I'm wondering if you know how to highlight your text and then change the size? When I multiquoted I could only do size or color, so I did size before typing, then highlighted text and changed the color. That should work vice versa. I figured out multiquoting. Go ahead and hit multiquote on all the posts you want to respond to. Then at the bottom of the last page, hit Add Reply instead of Fast Reply. If you want to respond to only one post, then hit Reply at the bottom of that post. It's pretty easy to highlight and delete the parts of a long post that you aren't responding to but keep the parts you are.Your response should go after the word "quote" at the end of the post you're responding to. You can pick color or size before typing your response but not both. But when you're done with your response for that post you can highlight your reponse and pick color or size. You can highlight again and pick the other one if it will only let you do one at a time.
  10. ifyourstomachoffendsyou

    I'm here to help...

    I'm thinking the weekend after Easter, April 9th might be a good time for people or the June 11 weekend. I've combined people's posts. If I got you wrong or missed someone hit reply at the bottom of this post, put in your data, and hit post. Apples - Anytime Charlene - Can't commit yet. You decide Great - prefer the April dates that Cheri mentioned, prefer no holiday weekends, prefer spring/early summer vs later summer/fall Cheri - April 2-11 I'm off work so that's two weekends. Can do it weekends of June 11 & 18. May be available July 16 or first two weeks in August. Waiting to find out when my niece schedules her wedding. Laura -prefers the April time but may be able to do it early June as she's going to Turkey late June and early July. LauraK -can do it any weekend except last weekend in March Julie - Phyl - Tina - Eva - Janet - Open I can go w/the flow (except for 7/15) Linda - Joyce - Sandy - I am open to anytime Jodi - Melissa - Jessica Meredith- May, or spring/early summer is best. Might be going with my aunt to FL in April and summer time gets crazy around here. But, will be able to adjust schedule to fit it this trip. Chris Candice - She's gone for 2 weeks Am I missing anyone ???? hit reply - or hit multi then add reply it should quote this post - bump
  11. ifyourstomachoffendsyou

    I'm here to help...

    Lori, you do always look put together. I'm sure you did before you lost the weight as well. I've always received compliments for combining colors, style, jewelry, etc. I never felt like I actually looked ugly or fat and frumpy. Big, yes. But still attractive. This is the part of the Love Yourself Thin. Because if you don't love yourself and the way you look, you still won't even after you have the weight off. Witness all our worry about the extra skin. I still can't get over the survey that showed that more women would choose good hair than would choose 10 extra IQ points. Live, Learn, Laugh, and Love Yourself Thin. I know what you mean. I know that you do not have a band so this may be difficult for you to continue. At this point to keep losing you'll have to really cut carbs and probably portions as well. Google the pouch test and see if you think you could manage that without the band to jumpstart your continued weight loss. Meanwhile, continue to love yourself the way you are. You have made tremendous progress and are very healthy now. Forget BMI's. You're healthy. However, what happens if you for some reason can't exercise as much or at all? We all are getting older and things happen. I am loaded with arthritis and have to be very careful how much I exercise and what I incorporate into my exercise. I can't do stretches at all because they overstretch my ligaments and tendons which do not want to return to normal afterwards leaving me very prone to injury. So yoga is a big no no for me. Any weight lifting or exercise above my head puts severe stress on my neck and causes nerve compression. Swinging my arms vigorously during walking causes neck problems. Walking too long causes hip and knee pain. More than the half hour of stair climbing I do at work also gives me hip pain. So, as much as I like exercise, I have to limit it. That means keeping the carbs down and limiting quantity. Avoiding sliders-most of which are full of carbs and fat. Don't rely on the exercise to keep you where you want to be. Take baby steps to start changing your food and you will get there.
  12. ifyourstomachoffendsyou

    I'm here to help...

  13. ifyourstomachoffendsyou

    I'm here to help...

    OK people. In April I am off the 2nd and go back to teaching the 12th. On June I am done teaching the 4th but start summer school the 7th. However, the rest of the month of June I am off all Fridays but am leaving June28th for European tour. Back from Euro tour Thurs. July 7. June is generally a nicer month than July or August. Because of the expressway, O Hare ends up not taking a whole lot longer than Midway which is crosstown. Renting vans might be better than cars. Hotels on Halsted in South Holland/Harvey or hotels on Torrence Ave in Lansing are both close to my house. Halsted close to train station. If you get in on a Thursday aft or evening, that means we'd have all day Friday and Saturday. If you go home on Monday then you can throw in all day Sunday for fun also. Some of you may be able to do Friday, some Monday, some both. There's plenty to do to fill all the days. Make a list of the things that interest you most. Cheri
  14. ifyourstomachoffendsyou

    I'm here to help...

    Apples, you made me snort with your comment about taking turns taking me for walks. Thanks everyone for the kudos for me as a teacher. Tina, don't stop writing. I needed you to clarify things because bipolar mixed with addictions can be very tricky. People in their manic phase can be filled with hubris, have no idea of their impact on others, and make very bad decisions, and lie without knowing they're lieing. I don't want to push you back into the depressive side, but getting better means being really honest. You've confessed to several addictions. You've mentioned abuse. You have a very controlling partner. Now, it appears, your partner was complicit in some of those addictions, like drinking with you, and obviously, had to be supplying you with a lot of food, but cuts you off from help by telling you you can't drive. My father is blind in one eye and has severe arthritis in his neck that prevents him from turning and now he's in early Alzheimers and he's still driving. He uses his mirrors. So we're getting bits and pieces of your story and needed to know if your partner has any real basis for her fears. Or why your father has access and control of your money. You have a plethora of issues. I strongly urge you to make use of a counselor to help you get through all that sh!!. Its more than we can sort out from your posts on here. We'll be here for you but we're not trained. Right now, it appears that you still need to be in a relationship with your partner. Time will tell if you'll "outgrow" her or if she'll change as you change. But don't get into the hubris of the manic side as you get better. You'll do much better if you take baby steps. Baby steps with the food and baby steps with your partner. Cheri
  15. ifyourstomachoffendsyou

    chicago bandsters reunite 2010

    Hi, I'm Cheri. I live in THornton and work in the Roseland community. Been banded since June of 09 amd have been maintaining a 75-80 lb weight loss. However, I am struggling and also looking for friends who like to have fun. I would be willing to meet for lunch on next Saturday, Jan. 8. How about Blueberry Fields (I think thats its name). It's in South Holland, which is the 159th St. exit but is actually 162nd St. It's a Breakfast lunch place, quite good, can get our Protein there. Cheri
  16. ifyourstomachoffendsyou

    I'm here to help...

    Melissa, I don't care for Dr. Oz too much. He obviously has never had a problem with food addiction himself and he actually likes eating the way he recommends. That makes him almost completely ineffective with genuine food addicts. We're not able to take his advice. At least not for long. Nor can we afford to eat the way he recommends. Oprah can afford it and she still can't follow it. That's the problem with so many of these gurus. They really don't understand addiction. I don't pay much attention to Oprah either when it comes to food because she blames everything on emotional eating. And she's had every form of counseling in the world on her show. She ought to be emotionally healthier than anyone, LOL. I don't watch the weight loss shows either because I'll never be able to follow those regimens or exercise like that. And all those things cost money. And for all her work on the Thighmaster, Suzanne Sommers still had plastic surgery on her legs. LOL. I take all the TV stuff with a grain of salt. Like Janet always says, getting better is hard work. Detoxing is an expensive fad that has come and gone for centuries. As far as Greek yogurt is concerned, check the carb content. Or if you're doing WW check the pts. I've shared that what works for me is totally no carb days alternated with lower carb days when I need to lose weight. On no carb days you can't have it. On maintenance days you can. Or if you're going no carb days with healthy carb suppers, save it for supper. If it makes you want more and its easy to keep eating it because it is a slider, you probably shouldn't be eating it. Talked with my sister, Kris, a long time on the phone this morning. Talked a lot about my daughter. She, too, is frustrated that my daughter won't communicate and seems so angry. Kris has been like her big sister growing up. They're only 8 yrs apart. I'm going to try to see if I can take my daughter's boys to the movies today. Going to look at theaters for what's playing. Love you all. Cheri
  17. ifyourstomachoffendsyou

    I'm here to help...

    I am so bored and ready for this vacation to be over with. I think next winter we should get together somewhere warm after Christmas (though it seems like everyone's having bad weather) for several days. I'm sitting here waiting for my DH to get home from work, after which he'll go to bed until this evening. We'll watch TV together a few hrs and then he'll go back to work. It's dark and gray outside but warm. I'll go outside for a walk and I bought another book to read today but I am bored and lonely. Next year I'll do something different. In the past I would have spent time with my daughter but she has pretty much shut me out. I'd go get my grandkids and have them over but my DH has to sleep during the days. I've been junking up the thread but there's only so much I can write. I've been on the verge of tears for the last few days. I am not a hobby person. I don't do crafts. I'm really feeling sorry for myself. I could do laundry and I'm going to clean my china cabinet. Maybe I'll have my husband take out the boxes for the Christmas stuff and I'll get that taken down. Now that I'm not having anymore parties there just isn't that much to do around here. I don't watch football or Rose Parades and I haven't watched Dick Clark and the ball drop in NYC for years. It's amazing how little TV I've watched because none of the shows I like are on over Christmas, plus my husband is the one who keeps the TV on all the time and he's asleep or at work. All I want to do at night is eat because there's nothing else to do. New Years Day has to be one of the most boring days of the year. So if someone wants to plan another outing after Christmas next year, I'm game. This is ridiculous. I'm also making a New Year's Resolution to find at least one friend who likes to go out and do things. They'll probably have to be unmarried or have a husband like mine who doesn't require their constant presence. My mother has a much more active social life than me and most of her friends are dead. OK. My sense of humor is returning. But she and my dad actually went to some friends last night. My brother in MI has no time off the rest of this week (he's an ER Dr.) or I'd drive up to GR and spend time with him. I'm going to call my sister Kris and see what her family is doing today. If they're just staying home, maybe I'll drop in for a few hours. But they have a lot of relatives on her husbands side of the family that live close to them, so they may be busy. I can spend only so much time by myself feeling sorry for myself. Gotta find something to do with someone. Apples, if I could swoop you out of hibernation I would. I've got a feeling we could talk forever. Tina, what can I say. You know what you've done to yourself. You'll figure out what you need to do to get out of it. Are the kids yours or your partners? Are you in the manic phase of your disease? Are you on meds to keep you level so you can function appropriately? Were the drinking and drugs attempts at self-medicating your bi-polar in the past? Does your partner have good reason to be afraid of you going anywhere by yourself? Does your father have good reason to limit your access to funds? If so, you've got to start proving to people in small ways that you can be trusted and that this desire to take care of yourself and get better is not just another manifestation of the manic part of your disease. It's not going to happen overnight. You took yourself off your anti-depressants and put yourself into years of depression. Now you want to change overnite. Your partner's skepticism and lack of trust are understandable if not defensible. People may want you to change but you've created a pattern of behavior with them that's familiar, and now that you want to change you're breaking that pattern. Change makes people uncomfortable and they send out change back signals. It's up to you to prove to them that this is different and don't expect them to accept it overnight. Cheri
  18. ifyourstomachoffendsyou

    I'm here to help...

    Thanks for the beautiful sentiments, Janet. Happy New Year to all. Never a big deal to me. I'm usually in bed before midnight no matter what night of the year it is. Husband is going in to work at 10:45. Used to go to church NYE but dropped that, too. Don't know anyone who has parties anymore. Everybody makes sure they're home before any craziness (like shooting guns in the air or driving drunk) occurs. Cheri
  19. ifyourstomachoffendsyou

    I'm here to help...

    Eva, intimacy is great but orgasms are better. Think toys to help jumpstart your libido. Also, my DH is a guitar player and guitar players strum it better. LOL. TMI again, but a healthy sex life fits the Live, Love, and Laugh Yourself Thin motto. And guys, I'm not talking about speaking your mind when I say I put my foot in my mouth. Here's an example. My mom and dad were playing "Catchphrase" with us on Christmas. My dad just plain couldn't get how the game was played. My mother was terrible at giving clues because she can't think that fast anymore or get the words out. So they were both on my team and I said that the next round we shouldn't have them both on one team. The instant it came out of my mouth I knew I shouldn't have said it, and sure enough, my mom brought it up when I was with her the other day. She was hurt to be put in the same category as my father. I just don't think things through before they pop out of my mouth. That's the lack of having a filter. Someone might be showing off their diamond ring and I'll say that I don't really get diamonds. It puzzles me why they're so popular. I never notice them on people because most people can only afford small ones and unless you're in a jewelry store which is lit up specifically to highlight diamonds, they don't really shine. The big ones stick out so far they catch on everything and are constantly dirty (especially with my sweaty hands) so they don't really shine. Now, that's my taste, but not appropriate to mention when someone is showing off their huge diamond ring. So, now you can maybe see why I wish I could band my mouth. LOL. Cheri
  20. ifyourstomachoffendsyou

    I'm here to help...

    There are hotels near me in the South Suburbs (check Homewood, South Holland, and Lansing) and we could spend time in my house for just sitting around and talking. I've got the big basement room and my living/dining room holds a lot of people, too. I'm near the train station for trips downtown or if some of you arrive in vans we could carpool. Or we could stay in a hotel downtown near the action there and walk to everything. However, where I live we can easily go to the Indiana Dunes or to Lighthouse Mall (outlet) in Michigan City. So many things to do here, you guys could be here for a week. Just Michigan Av N and S of the river is wonderful. Buckingham Fountain, the Art Institute of Chicago, Millenium Park, Water Tower Place. Navy Pier is close by. Can take an architectural tour down the river or go on a dinner Cruise along the lakefront. They usually have dancing, too. All kinds of shopping and places to eat. Old fashioned hotel like the Palmer House, very elegant. Or newer ones like the Sheraton on the River front. Don't think there are any cheap ones however. Those of you who are experienced travelers could maybe research that. Probably would be cheaper on a non-holiday weekend, but I wouldn't know. Definitely cheaper to stay by me in hotels but not nearly as convenient or pretty. Also, you'd have to figure in parking and/or train fares, but weekend passes on the train are cheap. I think we should do more planned sightseeing than in LV. Just sitting around when there's so much to enjoy here would be a shame. Maybe those who are here for a longer time could stay in hotels by me for a night or tow and then spend a night or two downtown.
  21. ifyourstomachoffendsyou

    I'm here to help...

    I know that its 10 hours from where I live on the south side to Kingsport TN but that's the other side of the state from Nashville. However, I think it might be a few hours less time than that. The heavy thunderstorms last night melted all the snow, its in the 40's and the grass under the snow was quite green, boosted by the nitrogen all the lightning put into the ground. That astonishes me that lightning does that but it really does. Sun is out. My son is replacing my upstairs toilet (still waiting on the downstairs bathroom to get finished. The upstairs one was leaking and running all the time and is mint or avocado green. Definitely an antique. After he leaves I'm going for a walk. I'll have to dodge puddles but I usually walk on the sidestreets on the crown of the road. Asphalt is much less hard on your joints than concrete and the crown of the road allows you to keep your hips level rather than constantly tilted to one side or the other depending on which side of the road you're walking on. It's pretty easy to move to one side or the other for the occassional car and they can't help but see you. I'll be glad to get some sun on me. Tina, its going to be hard to learn how to assert yourself, but it is one of the keys to loving yourself, and loving yourself is key to losing and maintaining weight loss. You and your partner should both read the book "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. Cheri
  22. ifyourstomachoffendsyou

    I'm here to help...

    Wow! I never thought you guys would ever agree to Chicago. How about Labor Day Weekend? I could add a personal day either the Friday before or the Tuesday after. Memorial Weekend is another possibility, less hot usually, but frequently rainy. Of course with all the crazy weather who knows what it'll be like. I'm also free the mid-weeks in July and the first two weeks in August (I think my niece is planning her wedding and the family reunion the last week in July and I'll be in Europe the first week in July and teaching summer school in June. However, I do not teach summer school on Fridays and I do not teach afternoons, so June could work. Woke up this morning to thunder and lightning with pouring rain. Yuck!. Thanks for all the birthday wishes. I went and got a good book and spent most of the day reading or talking to relatives on the phone. Also a little evening delight before my husband went to work. Believe me, he does not mind the extra skin. We had some other issues to work out, though, psychological issues. This is the one where I out passive-aggressived him after a few unfruitful confrontations. Now all I can say at our age is, "a good man is hard to find and a hard man is good to find." TMI I'm sure, but we are all sexual creatures and it wasn't until I found someone safe with whom to talk about my husband's issues that I was able to get that train back on the track. All I can say is, "Choo Choo." However, I have not been able to get back on the Protein train. Too many parties and events and treats in the house. They're pretty much gone now. The damage is 3 lbs out of my range, 5 from the middle of my range which I want to get back to. So, choo choo on that track too. I've been talking to you all about some heavy duty personal issues--mostly my social anxiety. I don't think I've ever fully expressed the impact my ADHD has on my social life before. I really don't think non-ADHD people understand what its like to not have a filter in your brain between a thought and it coming out your mouth. I don't know how many times I've wanted to take something back the second after it comes out my mouth. This has definitely limited my ability to sustain friendship over time. Writing about it stirred up a lot of feelings that seemed to demand chocolate. Hopefully, now that that's out, some of my cravings will diminish. Cheri
  23. ifyourstomachoffendsyou

    I'm here to help...

    Man, I wish you guys were all here. We would have fun in a retirement village. The place would be so lively. So Sandy, you added live to my line so I think our thread motto should be, Live, Love, and Laugh Yourself Thin. And Janet, I did have social anxiety in Vegas, but I got out of the hotel a lot with various people who were willing to go with me. I also was outside a lot in the pool or sitting outside the pool in a small group. The noise from the casinos was overwhelming so I avoided them and I avoided just sitting around in large groups talking--especially in the hotel rooms. I get claustrophobic and extremely restless in those settings. I like to be with people one on one or in a small group. And I need to be able to move. At the nightclub I couldn't just sit around the table with everyone. The noise was bad and you couldn't converse so I just kept moving to the music. Went for a long outdoor walk. Almost 40 out today. Stayed on the sidestreets cause the sidewalks still had some crusted snow, puddles, and icy spots. Going to get out of here now. Go get a Starbucks, go get a book, get some scripts filled at Walgreens. So my mom seems to have made up her mind that she wants to go to the retirement village that's in the Grand Rapids MI area by my brother, Scott. She likes that village better and it has a heated pool right in the facility. She'll be away from all other relatives and will be much harder to visit by her out of town relatives, but Scott will be there to deal with Dad, which he does better than the rest of us. Now we'll see if my brother can get my Dad to agree. Cheri Live, Love,
  24. ifyourstomachoffendsyou

    I'm here to help...

    Man, I wish you guys were all here. We would have fun in a retirement village. The place would be so lively. So Sandy, you added live to my line so I think our thread motto should be, Live, Love, and Laugh Yourself Thin. And Janet, I did have social anxiety in Vegas, but I got out of the hotel a lot with various people who were willing to go with me. I also was outside a lot in the pool or sitting outside the pool in a small group. The noise from the casinos was overwhelming so I avoided them and I avoided just sitting around in large groups talking--especially in the hotel rooms. I get claustrophobic and extremely restless in those settings. I like to be with people one on one or in a small group. And I need to be able to move. At the nightclub I couldn't just sit around the table with everyone. The noise was bad and you couldn't converse so I just kept moving to the music. Went for a long outdoor walk. Almost 40 out today. Stayed on the sidestreets cause the sidewalks still had some crusted snow, puddles, and icy spots. Going to get out of here now. Go get a Starbucks, go get a book, get some scripts filled at Walgreens. So my mom seems to have made up her mind that she wants to go to the retirement village that's in the Grand Rapids MI area by my brother, Scott. She likes that village better and it has a heated pool right in the facility. She'll be away from all other relatives and will be much harder to visit by her out of town relatives, but Scott will be there to deal with Dad, which he does better than the rest of us. Now we'll see if my brother can get my Dad to agree. Cheri
  25. ifyourstomachoffendsyou

    I'm here to help...

    Man, I wish you guys were all here. We would have fun in a retirement village. The place would be so lively. So Sandy, you added live to my line so I think our thread motto should be, Live, Love, and Laugh Yourself Thin. And Janet, I did have social anxiety in Vegas, but I got out of the hotel a lot with various people who were willing to go with me. I also was outside a lot in the pool or sitting outside the pool in a small group. The noise from the casinos was overwhelming so I avoided them and I avoided just sitting around in large groups talking--especially in the hotel rooms. I get claustrophobic and extremely restless in those settings. I like to be with people one on one or in a small group. And I need to be able to move. At the nightclub I couldn't just sit around the table with everyone. The noise was bad and you couldn't converse so I just kept moving to the music. Went for a long outdoor walk. Almost 40 out today. Stayed on the sidestreets cause the sidewalks still had some crusted snow, puddles, and icy spots. Going to get out of here now. Go get a Starbucks, go get a book, get some scripts filled at Walgreens. So my mom seems to have made up her mind that she wants to go to the retirement village that's in the Grand Rapids MI area by my brother, Scott. She likes that village better and it has a heated pool right in the facility. She'll be away from all other relatives and will be much harder to visit by her out of town relatives, but Scott will be there to deal with Dad, which he does better than the rest of us. Now we'll see if my brother can get my Dad to agree. Cheri

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