OH Juli

Hi,
I don't want this to come out negative, but I'm concerned Sailor girl that you talk about being banded as the "last chance at life". I know we have to get really low with our weight out of control before we will consider WLS. And that's a better place to be at to make this decision than to act like it's the diet of the month, because it is hughly important decision. Many things that were typical before surgery are impacted by the decision. Even 19 months later I'm like, "Damn, damn, damn, I can't eat with my coffee!" after taking a bite of food. Like you'd think I'd know that by now.
But let me caution you that if you're like me, you'll wake up in the same bed with the same bills showing up and the same yard to mow and the same family members who love and annoy you; like you have always had. While WLS does cure the weight (if you follow the rules) weight isn't the only thing going on in our lives that gives us trouble. Those things will still be waiting for the skinny you.
The up side however is that skinny you will have more energy and determination to handle those troubles.
Best of luck and keep us posted.
Thanks BTW, to all you Mt. C people who let me hang out here. I'm OSU.

Today is my anniversary. So here you have March 7, 2007 and today March 8, 2008. I was 290 the night before sugery. My highest known weight 338! One day I'll post pictures at that weight...maybe!

I was banded by Dr. Mikami at OSU. Barix was out of network for my insurance.

Not to get all political on anyone, do what feels right.
I'm an advocate for being out as much as possible. I have a 6 year old girl who as soon as she could talk would say, "My name is Zoe, I have two moms." There's no point in trying to hide it.
But you've got to live your life on your own terms.

Froggi, if and when you get the band I would take what you say more seriously but it is really hard to find you posting all over the place that you want only to hear the good about the band. That is not reality.
This place LBT is for all sides of the fence. And when people need help, feel frustrated, or duped, they want to come to the one place they can count on. What kind of place would this be if everyone came here and shouted chants of joy about the lapband? It would be a commercial by lapband people.
I wish you well, and I hope you have your eyes wide open, and that when you are super successful you can come back here and help those who are struggling.

Your normal is different, but it does become normal.
You don't go to the buffet you go to regular restaurants and take food home or order small, like an appetizer and a vegetable.
You make spaghetti and meatballs for your family and don't eat the Pasta, just the meat, sauce and veg.
But there are constant reminders that just kind of become part of life. Like your friends want to grab a QUICK bite to eat, you're hungry, but you can't slam down a meal like used to do. The good news a little something will hold you over for a few hours.
It's about adjusting. It's not bad, it's not like it used to be, but it is very doable. And once your hubby sees how you are enjoying life more, losing weight and being more energetic, he'll be happy with your decision too.

Portion Size, Then and Now
Here's an article about the change in portion sizes in the last 20 years.
Interesting.

I'm late to the party as usual. To fill or not to fill has been answered.
Taking action when you recognize bad behavior is the key to success, not eliminating all bad behavior. Because those thoughts/actions are going to happen, it's hard to control. But recognizing that you can see you are making bad decisions then moving to make good ones is THE path to success.
Awesome job on the call for the fill.

I say hot tub, they are more enjoyable year round.. they are good if you ever have aches/pains.. and they're a lot easier on maintenance than a small pool.

I have to say that I'm overcome with the blahs about this whole process. I thought it was the winter, then I thought it was resting on my laurals, I thought so many things...
What it's coming down to is that this is a change that is LIFE long. And lives have cycles. I just hope my "kick my own butt into high gear" cycle starts again soon.
Newbies, I'd never imagine me writing like this a year ago. But the fact of the matter is, though I'm not gaining, and I'm losing ever so slowly, (3 pounds a month, maybe) I've lost my mojo.
And if I want to make excuses, I started grad school in January and it's hard...I dunno, if you have some kind words to motivate me share...
I work out regularly, not every day, but most days. I eat food in the appropriate order, Protein, veg and carb most times but there are heavier carb days. There are also high sugar days.
I want this to feel like it did when it was new. Don't people say that about romance too???

Turn that hate into somethine beneficial to yourself.
My get up and move song, well one of them is Hate on Me by Jill Scott. If you like soul give is a try. It's got a good beat and the words, well they essentially say, it doesn't matter what I do you'll find fault with me, so go on, I just don't care about your opnions.
It's below. I like Superwoman by Alicia Keys too. Talk about motivation!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I could give you the world
On a silver platter
Would it even matter?
You’d still be mad at me
If I could find in all this
A dozen roses
Which I would give to you
You’d still be miserable
In reality, I’m gonna be who I be
And I don’t feel no faults
For all the lies that you bought
You can try as you may
Break me down but I say
That it ain’t up to you
Gone and do what you do
CHORUS
Hate on me, hater
Now or later
‘Coz I’m gonna do me
You’ll be mad, baby
Go ‘head and hate
Go ‘head and hate on me, hate on
‘Coz I’m not afraid of it
What I got I paid for
You can hate on me
Ooh, if I gave you peaches
Out of my own garden
And I made you a peach pie
Would you slap me high
What if I gave you diamonds
Out of my own womb
Would you feel the love in that,
Or ask “why not the moon”?
If I gave you sanity
For the whole of humanity,
Had all the solutions
For the pain and pollution
No matter where I live,
Despite the things I give,
You’ll always be this way
So go ‘head and….
You cannot hate on me
‘Cuz my mind is free
Feel my destiny
So shall it be
————————————————–
Hate On Me Lyrics - Jill Scott Song Words
Song Words by Artist / Band : Jill Scott
Lyrics Title : Hate On Me
Taken from Album : The Real Thing
Single Released : May 2007 (Airplay)
Music Genre : Soul, R&B, jazz, neo soul
(Song Data Information taken from : Wikipedia)
Sing their song, play their music and don't forget .... buy their single / album!

Just like romance when it's new... it's exciting and gets you really swept off your feet. Then, romance turns into a long lasting commitement, respect, awesome friendship, partnership and the other person completes you. I'm not talking from experience regarding the band. I've only had mine since April 3rd. However, I think that the band in a year from now won't be as exciting. It's a tool for weight loss. When you've been on a diet a long time it does get boring. Just like marriage, you need date nights and you've got to work at it to keep the marriage healthy and happy. As for the band, I love to cook. I've been trying to keep interesting recipes on hand and trying new ones. That's how I'm keeping it going. Cooking is an art form. It might "spice up" living with the band. Also, have you considered trying a new form of exercise? Right now, I'm just swimming and walking around the block. I hope in a year from now to treat myself to a couples dance class or take karate. Again, I know I'm not talking from experience, but I hope this helps.

I am treated SO differently that it's very hard for me to think about in too much depth.... but here goes. I will give it a shot.
First of all I think it's DISGUSTING how society has the right to decide whether I am an acceptable human being or not. That's my measure - I don't get made fun of anymore and so therefore, I am acceptable by society's standards. Screw that. Men flirt with me several times a day now. That's pretty funny in itself. My husband flirted with me when I was at my very heaviest. He loved me for my confidence, my wit and my heart. Am I bitter? Yes, to a point. Would they have liked me then? Probably not, but I am not a negative person and this is something I am still working on. I need to let this go because it's pointless and a waste of energy and it's not something there will ever be an answer to.
Secondly, I am conflicted with my whole 'invisible' vs. 'visible' theory. When you weigh 360lbs it's funny how you can be treated like a freak who gets stared at constantly but be strangely invisible at the same time. From a distance people have no problem laughing at you, making fun of you etc. but when you want someone's attention, you never get looked at in the eye. You are treated second class, period.
The worst thing was that because I was so fat, did people also think I was stupid and/or deaf? Did they honestly think I couldn't hear what they were saying or that I didn't understand the knowing nudges and smirks? Hardly. It's nice now to not have to constantly be looking around on the defensive, watching people to see when they are going to look at me and get the joke. Being that fat was the most painful, heart wrenching period of my life. One that I would not wish on any body.
I'm a beautiful person. I always have been. I'm still me, there's just a lot less of me now and a whole lot longer life ahead of me.

Is it really any different than movies poking fun at people who are very ugly or very stupid? Do you laugh at those kinds of movies or not? I am sure a person who is ugly, or a person who is stupid would probably get upset at things like that, while we "fatties" are offended by movies poking fun at issues that are real to us.

I think there's a line we tread as women, as American woman (pardon me other women, but speaking from my own experience here to my yankee sisters) who are or have been of size, between fat acceptance and a desire to not be fat.
Certainly there's a place for advocacy for fat people. We/they are not any less human because of our/their size. Treating someone as less than because they are different isn't okay on any level. But it's still considered reasonable to treat fat folk badly.
We question fat folk advocating for themselves and we question them laughing at their own pain. It's institutionalized to the point that a self loathing fat person thinks they deserve to hate themself and they deserve the scorn of others.
I don't have the answer...but talking about bad media, pizza Hut had a commercial where the baby sitter was ordering pizzas on the phone and the chubby boy walked in and she said, "Better add to the order."
Because he obviously was going to eat vastly more than what she had ordered.
I called the company and complained. Didn't get very far, but I feel better for it.

I think there's a line we tread as women, as American woman (pardon me other women, but speaking from my own experience here to my yankee sisters) who are or have been of size, between fat acceptance and a desire to not be fat.
Certainly there's a place for advocacy for fat people. We/they are not any less human because of our/their size. Treating someone as less than because they are different isn't okay on any level. But it's still considered reasonable to treat fat folk badly.
We question fat folk advocating for themselves and we question them laughing at their own pain. It's institutionalized to the point that a self loathing fat person thinks they deserve to hate themself and they deserve the scorn of others.
I don't have the answer...but talking about bad media, pizza Hut had a commercial where the baby sitter was ordering pizzas on the phone and the chubby boy walked in and she said, "Better add to the order."
Because he obviously was going to eat vastly more than what she had ordered.
I called the company and complained. Didn't get very far, but I feel better for it.

I think there's a line we tread as women, as American woman (pardon me other women, but speaking from my own experience here to my yankee sisters) who are or have been of size, between fat acceptance and a desire to not be fat.
Certainly there's a place for advocacy for fat people. We/they are not any less human because of our/their size. Treating someone as less than because they are different isn't okay on any level. But it's still considered reasonable to treat fat folk badly.
We question fat folk advocating for themselves and we question them laughing at their own pain. It's institutionalized to the point that a self loathing fat person thinks they deserve to hate themself and they deserve the scorn of others.
I don't have the answer...but talking about bad media, pizza Hut had a commercial where the baby sitter was ordering pizzas on the phone and the chubby boy walked in and she said, "Better add to the order."
Because he obviously was going to eat vastly more than what she had ordered.
I called the company and complained. Didn't get very far, but I feel better for it.

Okay,
My gay sistah, btw, I love that you put your partner out there in your initial post. Got to love the out people. Thanks from all of us.
I wanted to write sooner but had other obligations...I hope you don't mind me coming late to the conversation.
Others have touched on hormones being released and emotional eating. I was initially struck with how it seems like you are greiving. You've given up your comfort mechanism and you can't go back. Ever. Not that you want to, but it's real and final and done. Now you need to find a new way to cope. What's a rational person to do?
Temper tantrums seem reasonable to me. Well, so long as you don't hurt anyone or yourself. And this will be a short lived phase.
I don't know if medication is the solution or if really wrapping your head around the tantrums will be effective for you, but certainly try different methods. I mean you've got to live in your skin and people do have to live with you.
One effective way to work your way through the rage is to just own it. Lay on the floor and kick and scream like a 3 year old. You might look foolish, but it feels great. I did it once when my kiddo was having a fit and I was going to beat the tar out of her. So instead I took a clue from her and did the same thing she was doing. She thought I was nuts. I thought it was effective at getting out my stress and no one got hurt.
As for the crying jags they will become fewer and longer spaced inbetween.
It's happening for the same reason a child has fits. You don't have the words to describe your emotions, and without the words you don't have a way to process the concepts.
This is from some business model I came across but a way to get answers and solution is something like the 6 Whys or the 6 questions. Example:
1. Why am I sad? I'm sad because this man has cancer.
2. Why does cancer make you sad? This person will die.
3. Why is death sad? People I love will be gone from me.
4. Who do you see passing soon? Grandma, grandpa
5. What can you do to connect with them? Visit write a letter, etc.
6. What is stopping that from happening? Make a plan....
I don't know what to say other than be kind to yourself right now. You need not add guilt or other stress to an already stressfull situation. Ask your partner for a little understanding and maybe an end date that until you meet it she'll be flexible with your bad behavior. Then she gets to say enough is enough.
Keep on writing. I'm sure many other people will propose solutions that will help you out. One of them is bound to give you peace.
Juli

Okay, I promise I am not at total loser, but I read Wheetsin's explanation on where to see your comments and I don't see any, but I have a number by my Rep power. Could it be that someone just didn't leave a comment?

Or am I just a dork and completely overlooking it?

Okay,
My gay sistah, btw, I love that you put your partner out there in your initial post. Got to love the out people. Thanks from all of us.
I wanted to write sooner but had other obligations...I hope you don't mind me coming late to the conversation.
Others have touched on hormones being released and emotional eating. I was initially struck with how it seems like you are greiving. You've given up your comfort mechanism and you can't go back. Ever. Not that you want to, but it's real and final and done. Now you need to find a new way to cope. What's a rational person to do?
Temper tantrums seem reasonable to me. Well, so long as you don't hurt anyone or yourself. And this will be a short lived phase.
I don't know if medication is the solution or if really wrapping your head around the tantrums will be effective for you, but certainly try different methods. I mean you've got to live in your skin and people do have to live with you.
One effective way to work your way through the rage is to just own it. Lay on the floor and kick and scream like a 3 year old. You might look foolish, but it feels great. I did it once when my kiddo was having a fit and I was going to beat the tar out of her. So instead I took a clue from her and did the same thing she was doing. She thought I was nuts. I thought it was effective at getting out my stress and no one got hurt.
As for the crying jags they will become fewer and longer spaced inbetween.
It's happening for the same reason a child has fits. You don't have the words to describe your emotions, and without the words you don't have a way to process the concepts.
This is from some business model I came across but a way to get answers and solution is something like the 6 Whys or the 6 questions. Example:
1. Why am I sad? I'm sad because this man has cancer.
2. Why does cancer make you sad? This person will die.
3. Why is death sad? People I love will be gone from me.
4. Who do you see passing soon? Grandma, grandpa
5. What can you do to connect with them? Visit write a letter, etc.
6. What is stopping that from happening? Make a plan....
I don't know what to say other than be kind to yourself right now. You need not add guilt or other stress to an already stressfull situation. Ask your partner for a little understanding and maybe an end date that until you meet it she'll be flexible with your bad behavior. Then she gets to say enough is enough.
Keep on writing. I'm sure many other people will propose solutions that will help you out. One of them is bound to give you peace.
Juli

orange is my fav. I've had punch too, not so good.