Hopeful loser

Back from my two week follow up from the Dr and on to pureed FOOD! Yay! scrambled eggs extra squished with cheese too! I know how much we want to taste something other than Protein Shakes at this point but we had an interesting conversation about food, this gist was this: About 6 months from now, when we're all slimmer and happy with our looks and our success, our sleeves aren't going to keep us as diligent as they are now. It'll be up to us to keep those carbs between 25 and 50 per day, Protein first, all the Vitamins and Water, etc. It'll be easier to wash down the food, eat more, and get more in. The sleeve won't be as sensitive. This next 6 months is to teach us the difference between head hunger and real hunger, and to give us the power over foods that cause addictions in us (like carbs and sugar for me) versus foods that work for us. For example, yeah, you could go for the ice cream, but if you do and it's in the house, you'll eat it till its gone. Could be candy, could be chocolate, chips, whatever your craving is. My mom is a diabetic and I see that working all the time. She lives with us. I am one month on the other side of all my addictive foods. Do I want to keep it that way, or tempt myself again? You open that door, you gotta be strong enough to close it again.

Today is also my 6th day out. I am feeling great!!!! I returned back to my college classes today which I only have on Tuesday's and Thursday's and felt good! After class I went to the store and then went and walked a mile. As of today I have lost 16 lbs!!! I'm so glad I had this done.

I'm 15 days out. Today is the 2nd day back to work and I'll see my Dr. later for the first follow up visit. Hoping I can start on purees tomorrow and thicker stuff like cottage chees and oatmeal. 28 lbs so far. Blessed not to have much nausea unless I swallow too much or eat too fast. Gas pains were the worst. I'm finding the Protein Shakes I make myself are good ( coconut or almond milk, whey Protein, greek yogurt and your fav fruit) , as are Premiere's, nectar fruit protein mixes you mix with Water, and Muscle Milk. My husband bought a Nutri-Bullet (made by Magic Bullet) and that will turn anything to liquid and preserve all the nutrients and Fiber in it - flaxseed, walnuts, spinach, kale, all fruits - this thing is amazing! If you buy it from the website, you can get this great book that gives you all kinds of recipes for the mixes. You get a LOT of nutrition packed into each cup you make. This is going to prove to be a great investment. Just drink the first few at night, at home, as they act as quite a cleanse in the beginning, until your body gets used to drinking pure nutrition.

I'm 15 days out. Today is the 2nd day back to work and I'll see my Dr. later for the first follow up visit. Hoping I can start on purees tomorrow and thicker stuff like cottage chees and oatmeal. 28 lbs so far. Blessed not to have much nausea unless I swallow too much or eat too fast. Gas pains were the worst. I'm finding the Protein Shakes I make myself are good ( coconut or almond milk, whey Protein, greek yogurt and your fav fruit) , as are Premiere's, nectar fruit protein mixes you mix with Water, and Muscle Milk. My husband bought a Nutri-Bullet (made by Magic Bullet) and that will turn anything to liquid and preserve all the nutrients and Fiber in it - flaxseed, walnuts, spinach, kale, all fruits - this thing is amazing! If you buy it from the website, you can get this great book that gives you all kinds of recipes for the mixes. You get a LOT of nutrition packed into each cup you make. This is going to prove to be a great investment. Just drink the first few at night, at home, as they act as quite a cleanse in the beginning, until your body gets used to drinking pure nutrition.

I have weaned myself off the scale as often as I used to, now I hop on maybe twice a week. Today I got on and it's the first time in about 15 years that I'm below 200 lbs! YAAAY! I've found that I can go up and down with Water weight about 3-4 lbs during the week, but once the weight drops to the lowest, it may rise a bit, then drop lower over the course of a few days, so I try to pick 2 days a week and check it. Maybe Thurs. and Sun., and see what I have. And I know if one is low and one is high, within the next 7-8 days I should see another couple of lbs drop off from my lowest point.

I have weaned myself off the scale as often as I used to, now I hop on maybe twice a week. Today I got on and it's the first time in about 15 years that I'm below 200 lbs! YAAAY! I've found that I can go up and down with Water weight about 3-4 lbs during the week, but once the weight drops to the lowest, it may rise a bit, then drop lower over the course of a few days, so I try to pick 2 days a week and check it. Maybe Thurs. and Sun., and see what I have. And I know if one is low and one is high, within the next 7-8 days I should see another couple of lbs drop off from my lowest point.

First I will say that I'm trying to keep my eyes on the prize here, so no regrets so far! But this recovery is hell!! I had a Tummy Tuck, breast lift w/silicone implant, and mini-arm lift. Surgery went well, the dr said he removed 7 lbs of skin & fat w/ Lipo, yay! However, the first couple days I was unable to keep down any of my meds?! I'm guessing just sensitivity from the anesthesia in addition to not eating a whole lot. But now that I can keep pain meds down, things are a bit more manageable... And thank God for my wonderful husband! I need help getting in and out of bed, he had to remove my catheter, he empties my jP drain /records it, makes sure I'm taking my meds & that I'm doing the breathing exercises (with the incentive spirometer), and is taking care of our two toddler by himself! All the while he didn't even want me to have this surgery because he said I was fine the way I was (but that's a different topic, for a different day). I cherish him! Whatever you do, don't go into this alone! There is just no way you can do it alone! I will post pics once I'm healed up some, I have to keep this tight binder on for right now.

So am I the only one who weights in on a daily bases??? So I'm giving up the scale until my next dr's appt on 1.21.13. My scale has been pretty much at a 184-185 & I confess I was pretty bummed. So on a whim I pulled down my old small clothes because I noticed the clothes ice been wearing becoming what I call frumpy/loose. Well guess what my 12 & 13/14 jeans fit!!!!

I'm 15 days out. Today is the 2nd day back to work and I'll see my Dr. later for the first follow up visit. Hoping I can start on purees tomorrow and thicker stuff like cottage chees and oatmeal. 28 lbs so far. Blessed not to have much nausea unless I swallow too much or eat too fast. Gas pains were the worst. I'm finding the Protein Shakes I make myself are good ( coconut or almond milk, whey Protein, greek yogurt and your fav fruit) , as are Premiere's, nectar fruit protein mixes you mix with Water, and Muscle Milk. My husband bought a Nutri-Bullet (made by Magic Bullet) and that will turn anything to liquid and preserve all the nutrients and Fiber in it - flaxseed, walnuts, spinach, kale, all fruits - this thing is amazing! If you buy it from the website, you can get this great book that gives you all kinds of recipes for the mixes. You get a LOT of nutrition packed into each cup you make. This is going to prove to be a great investment. Just drink the first few at night, at home, as they act as quite a cleanse in the beginning, until your body gets used to drinking pure nutrition.

I have a friend who has been thin her whole life. She is feeling really fat right now weighing 150 at 5'7" - 20-25# higher then her normal.
So what shocked me in discussing this with her is that while she has never been obese, when she went through that weight gain, it was a very similiar story to what my everyday life was like pre-sleeve.
1. Start eating junky food
2. Get even hungrier then normal
3. Try like heck to "diet"; always failing and being drawn back to the junky/too much food
4. Feel bad at the failures so repeat cycle endlessly
In her case, she gained "only" 20-25 pounds but she told me that over the 6-8 months it was happening she was just out of control. Once she stopped eating low nutrition/empty carb calories, her hunger came back down and she is slowly taking the pounds off.
In those of us who became morbidly obese, the swing is bigger, much bigger, and I didn't have the big enough losses to ever get down to a healthy weight so I had that metabolic drive to keep overeating.
I guess it was refreshing to find someone that really understands this. All the willpower in the world doesn't work if your body is literally screaming for a certain kind of food and driving you to eat. I think that the reason many WLS patients regain is not because their stomach is too big, but rather they slip back into the behavior that "triggers" a re-occurance of the disease or condition called obesity. Then, once the cycle begins it is like you can't get off the merry - go - round.
I am not to maintenance yet, but I have seen this even as my weight loss journey is down to the final amount. I started feeling more hunger... felt a little panicked like "okay, this is it - no more weight loss". i took steps such as resetting back to sleever basics and then amping up exercise intensity and I have lost 10 pounds in November - back on track! I am now back t having to remember to eat as I am just not getting hungry whereas a few months ago I felt like someone who had a big return of hunger.
Anyway, I continue to learn from this journey and hoping to pick up bits of understanding to help me stay successful over the long haul - truly my biggest fear is regain after all of this!

WOW, I just came from my 1st follow up visit since I had my gastric sleeve surgery on 11-19-12. I can proudly say that im not considered morbidly obese" anymore. Im down "36lbs". I feel great and just got had my post op diet adjusted. This is the best decision I made. I actually decided to have the surgery after my wife had it in April 2012. I told her that she wasnt going to go thru this alone. Shes over 60lbs down now. I know this is a lifestyle change, but to do this with the one I love is just making us grow closer together and making the change eaiser for both of us. Im looking forward to the time that we go out to dinner and find out that 1 appetizer fills us both up lol. I wish everyone that has this proceedure all the best. Pictures to follow soon.

I was sleeved on Sept. 4th. So far, down 48 lbs, including the 15 I lost before surgery. I've been very fortunate so far, can tolerate most foods now except for milk. I seem to be lactose intolerant now, it upsets my stomach, but I do eat cheese. Can't do ice cream, but some frozen yogurt. I eat a lot of greek yogurt. Haven't really had any problems, just have to be mindful of how much I eat, still trying to figure out that one. About a cup of food total now is about right, sometimes too much depending on what it is. Still have to make myself not to drink for at least 40 minutes after I eat. I am very happy I had this surgery and very thankful I have not had issues with vomiting.

Back from my two week follow up from the Dr and on to pureed FOOD! Yay! scrambled eggs extra squished with cheese too! I know how much we want to taste something other than Protein Shakes at this point but we had an interesting conversation about food, this gist was this: About 6 months from now, when we're all slimmer and happy with our looks and our success, our sleeves aren't going to keep us as diligent as they are now. It'll be up to us to keep those carbs between 25 and 50 per day, Protein first, all the Vitamins and Water, etc. It'll be easier to wash down the food, eat more, and get more in. The sleeve won't be as sensitive. This next 6 months is to teach us the difference between head hunger and real hunger, and to give us the power over foods that cause addictions in us (like carbs and sugar for me) versus foods that work for us. For example, yeah, you could go for the ice cream, but if you do and it's in the house, you'll eat it till its gone. Could be candy, could be chocolate, chips, whatever your craving is. My mom is a diabetic and I see that working all the time. She lives with us. I am one month on the other side of all my addictive foods. Do I want to keep it that way, or tempt myself again? You open that door, you gotta be strong enough to close it again.

Back from my two week follow up from the Dr and on to pureed FOOD! Yay! scrambled eggs extra squished with cheese too! I know how much we want to taste something other than Protein Shakes at this point but we had an interesting conversation about food, this gist was this: About 6 months from now, when we're all slimmer and happy with our looks and our success, our sleeves aren't going to keep us as diligent as they are now. It'll be up to us to keep those carbs between 25 and 50 per day, Protein first, all the Vitamins and Water, etc. It'll be easier to wash down the food, eat more, and get more in. The sleeve won't be as sensitive. This next 6 months is to teach us the difference between head hunger and real hunger, and to give us the power over foods that cause addictions in us (like carbs and sugar for me) versus foods that work for us. For example, yeah, you could go for the ice cream, but if you do and it's in the house, you'll eat it till its gone. Could be candy, could be chocolate, chips, whatever your craving is. My mom is a diabetic and I see that working all the time. She lives with us. I am one month on the other side of all my addictive foods. Do I want to keep it that way, or tempt myself again? You open that door, you gotta be strong enough to close it again.

Back from my two week follow up from the Dr and on to pureed FOOD! Yay! scrambled eggs extra squished with cheese too! I know how much we want to taste something other than Protein Shakes at this point but we had an interesting conversation about food, this gist was this: About 6 months from now, when we're all slimmer and happy with our looks and our success, our sleeves aren't going to keep us as diligent as they are now. It'll be up to us to keep those carbs between 25 and 50 per day, Protein first, all the Vitamins and Water, etc. It'll be easier to wash down the food, eat more, and get more in. The sleeve won't be as sensitive. This next 6 months is to teach us the difference between head hunger and real hunger, and to give us the power over foods that cause addictions in us (like carbs and sugar for me) versus foods that work for us. For example, yeah, you could go for the ice cream, but if you do and it's in the house, you'll eat it till its gone. Could be candy, could be chocolate, chips, whatever your craving is. My mom is a diabetic and I see that working all the time. She lives with us. I am one month on the other side of all my addictive foods. Do I want to keep it that way, or tempt myself again? You open that door, you gotta be strong enough to close it again.

I'm 15 days out. Today is the 2nd day back to work and I'll see my Dr. later for the first follow up visit. Hoping I can start on purees tomorrow and thicker stuff like cottage chees and oatmeal. 28 lbs so far. Blessed not to have much nausea unless I swallow too much or eat too fast. Gas pains were the worst. I'm finding the Protein Shakes I make myself are good ( coconut or almond milk, whey Protein, greek yogurt and your fav fruit) , as are Premiere's, nectar fruit protein mixes you mix with Water, and Muscle Milk. My husband bought a Nutri-Bullet (made by Magic Bullet) and that will turn anything to liquid and preserve all the nutrients and Fiber in it - flaxseed, walnuts, spinach, kale, all fruits - this thing is amazing! If you buy it from the website, you can get this great book that gives you all kinds of recipes for the mixes. You get a LOT of nutrition packed into each cup you make. This is going to prove to be a great investment. Just drink the first few at night, at home, as they act as quite a cleanse in the beginning, until your body gets used to drinking pure nutrition.

This is a major change and to think that we should be back to some version of "normal" in a couple of weeks or even a month is just not NORMAL. Really. Let's be real. We have altered our digestive tract and our body's ability to take in and process all food. We have to heal. We have to change habits. We have to re-learn how to eat, what to eat, how to deal with what we can't eat, and what constitutes "full" now. I'm 1 month out tomorrow. Every week brings new things. Some are good, some are weird. I've discovered the batteries on my freaking scale are cooked, that's one problem that's been frustrating me that will be resolved tonight. My body evidently doesn't like milk now, but cheese is fine. Go figure. That may change in a week or two.
I now have these odd "spells" for lack of a better term. I'll be fine, then completely lose all energy and lay down and sleep for 3 hours. I've slept more this month and I guess that's good, because my body needs to heal, so I just sleep away. I took 2 three hour naps this weekend. I still can't walk every day because I'm either at work or at home or it's raining, but I'll get there. It's 4 weeks out. 4 weeks. Don't regret what you haven't given yourself time to even heal from yet. If you could stand in the mirror after eating yourself silly with Chinese, or chocolate, or pizza and beer, or whatever you used to stuff your face with, and then hate yourself for, right now, you wouldn't be any happier. Be kind to yourself. Be gentle. Like yourself. You are worth every single minute it takes to rebuild yourself from the inside out. If it takes a month, a year, 5, whatever it takes. No one here made this decision lightly. This is NOT the easy way out.

This is a major change and to think that we should be back to some version of "normal" in a couple of weeks or even a month is just not NORMAL. Really. Let's be real. We have altered our digestive tract and our body's ability to take in and process all food. We have to heal. We have to change habits. We have to re-learn how to eat, what to eat, how to deal with what we can't eat, and what constitutes "full" now. I'm 1 month out tomorrow. Every week brings new things. Some are good, some are weird. I've discovered the batteries on my freaking scale are cooked, that's one problem that's been frustrating me that will be resolved tonight. My body evidently doesn't like milk now, but cheese is fine. Go figure. That may change in a week or two.
I now have these odd "spells" for lack of a better term. I'll be fine, then completely lose all energy and lay down and sleep for 3 hours. I've slept more this month and I guess that's good, because my body needs to heal, so I just sleep away. I took 2 three hour naps this weekend. I still can't walk every day because I'm either at work or at home or it's raining, but I'll get there. It's 4 weeks out. 4 weeks. Don't regret what you haven't given yourself time to even heal from yet. If you could stand in the mirror after eating yourself silly with Chinese, or chocolate, or pizza and beer, or whatever you used to stuff your face with, and then hate yourself for, right now, you wouldn't be any happier. Be kind to yourself. Be gentle. Like yourself. You are worth every single minute it takes to rebuild yourself from the inside out. If it takes a month, a year, 5, whatever it takes. No one here made this decision lightly. This is NOT the easy way out.

You know, Ladies, I think we need to come up with a new version of NORMAL. Because we are all saying we want to be normal again. I have to keep reminding myself that even my incision scars aren't completely healed yet, so how is it even remotely possible for my stapled "tiny tim" to be even remotely healed either? And all my "normal" got me before was a tenth of a point under the cutoff for the statement "you have diabetes". And I'm not taking the meds for that anymore. I never was on insulin and now, I never will be. I'm good with that. No, I cannot eat like I used to. Not even really the food my family eats yet. And it's regular healthy food. But I'm not ready for it. AND I'm still figuring out how much "tiny tim" holds, so I can eat enough to not starve and not so much that I puke. AND I have to relearn how to chew my food. Never thought that would be the hard part.
Most of us are just a few weeks out from surgery. We're still healing from major abdominal surgery. I'm 3 weeks out tomorrow. I don't count today. I wasn't awake for most of the day of my surgery anyway. (sleeved on Sept. 10th). I hear myself saying all this, and yet we're taking the family to Hallowscream at Busch Gardens Williamsburg this Saturday. I'm just out of my mind. I can walk, just slowly. And more slowly there.
I think we need to cut ourselves a break. Give ourselves time to heal. Realize that eventually we will be able to "eat" again. Not the amount we did. Hopefully we'll make healthier choices in the long run and we will continue to shrink down to where we feel comfortable in our own skin. It is doable. And if today is the day you need to cry, then go ahead and cry. That's okay too. I honestly think that to some degree all of us will have to go through the stages of grief because we did go and completely change a huge thing in our life. This is a MAJOR change. And all change has its own set of challenges. We can do this Ladies, we can. After all, we did this so we could be healthier, so we could be around for our families longer. At least, that's why I did it. I don't want to go in the ground before my time. I want to do whatever is in my power to be healthy. Buck-up, campers, we'll get through this:D

One of the challenges that we face that really hits home is "stages of grief" because we are all experiencing losses. There is a 5 Stage and a 7 Stage model, but they deal with basically the same emotions. At different times we will be scared, sad, regretful, feel guilty, and other times elated, excited, confident.
I have told very few people about my surgery, but some comments from nurses or family are along the lines of, "Aren't you excited!?" No...no I am not excited. I am terrified. I have self-sabotaged through dozens and dozens of diets. I am incredibly well educated on nutrition and exercise and have failed miserably with applying my knowledge to my lifestyle since it sure is self-gratifying to eat chocolate and read or have beer and barbque with friends on the weekends plus indulge myself beyond what is apparently reasonable on most every day. I am terrified that I have made a life-altering decision that cannot be undone and the only thing between success and failure is myself. My weak willed self.
But I am taking one step after the other and hope that I internalize a lot of wisdom along the way and actively apply it in my daily life. There is no guarantee, but I will do it.

Back from my two week follow up from the Dr and on to pureed FOOD! Yay! scrambled eggs extra squished with cheese too! I know how much we want to taste something other than Protein Shakes at this point but we had an interesting conversation about food, this gist was this: About 6 months from now, when we're all slimmer and happy with our looks and our success, our sleeves aren't going to keep us as diligent as they are now. It'll be up to us to keep those carbs between 25 and 50 per day, Protein first, all the Vitamins and Water, etc. It'll be easier to wash down the food, eat more, and get more in. The sleeve won't be as sensitive. This next 6 months is to teach us the difference between head hunger and real hunger, and to give us the power over foods that cause addictions in us (like carbs and sugar for me) versus foods that work for us. For example, yeah, you could go for the ice cream, but if you do and it's in the house, you'll eat it till its gone. Could be candy, could be chocolate, chips, whatever your craving is. My mom is a diabetic and I see that working all the time. She lives with us. I am one month on the other side of all my addictive foods. Do I want to keep it that way, or tempt myself again? You open that door, you gotta be strong enough to close it again.

I'm 15 days out. Today is the 2nd day back to work and I'll see my Dr. later for the first follow up visit. Hoping I can start on purees tomorrow and thicker stuff like cottage chees and oatmeal. 28 lbs so far. Blessed not to have much nausea unless I swallow too much or eat too fast. Gas pains were the worst. I'm finding the Protein Shakes I make myself are good ( coconut or almond milk, whey Protein, greek yogurt and your fav fruit) , as are Premiere's, nectar fruit protein mixes you mix with Water, and Muscle Milk. My husband bought a Nutri-Bullet (made by Magic Bullet) and that will turn anything to liquid and preserve all the nutrients and Fiber in it - flaxseed, walnuts, spinach, kale, all fruits - this thing is amazing! If you buy it from the website, you can get this great book that gives you all kinds of recipes for the mixes. You get a LOT of nutrition packed into each cup you make. This is going to prove to be a great investment. Just drink the first few at night, at home, as they act as quite a cleanse in the beginning, until your body gets used to drinking pure nutrition.

Back from my two week follow up from the Dr and on to pureed FOOD! Yay! scrambled eggs extra squished with cheese too! I know how much we want to taste something other than Protein Shakes at this point but we had an interesting conversation about food, this gist was this: About 6 months from now, when we're all slimmer and happy with our looks and our success, our sleeves aren't going to keep us as diligent as they are now. It'll be up to us to keep those carbs between 25 and 50 per day, Protein first, all the Vitamins and Water, etc. It'll be easier to wash down the food, eat more, and get more in. The sleeve won't be as sensitive. This next 6 months is to teach us the difference between head hunger and real hunger, and to give us the power over foods that cause addictions in us (like carbs and sugar for me) versus foods that work for us. For example, yeah, you could go for the ice cream, but if you do and it's in the house, you'll eat it till its gone. Could be candy, could be chocolate, chips, whatever your craving is. My mom is a diabetic and I see that working all the time. She lives with us. I am one month on the other side of all my addictive foods. Do I want to keep it that way, or tempt myself again? You open that door, you gotta be strong enough to close it again.

Don't worry, I don't think it's going to continue like this for you. Today is my 3 week anniversary. They fixed a hernia for me too. Since they fixed it, I haven't taken any heartburn/reflux medicine, and I've been on that stuff for at least 7 years. I think your insides are just re-adjusting. The first food I ate was scrambled eggs and I really didn't like the way I felt after eating them a week and a half ago, but now, I feel much better, food goes down much better. I still have to be careful not to eat too fast and too much. 1 bite is the difference between fine and very uncomfortable and I really need to learn when that is. I think every day will bring us something different to deal with until our stomachs are healed and we are much further out than this. I have more energy this week than last. I actually walked almost a mile last night for the first time, and I have more energy at work. Hang in there with the baby steps and take Mylanta if the heartburn keeps up.

Oh and I got way hungry today, but was busy so forgot about it, then it came back. But no grumblies or anything, just a, well I'm not sure, just a hunger pang maybe, a hurt in my stomach. Any one else having to re-learn how you feel when you're hungry?