RobertM2022

Can we pretend this is an Overeaters Anonymous meeting and it's my turn to stand up front and bare my soul?...especially since I never had the balls to set foot in a live meeting during my 35 years of having a BMI score higher than my IQ. There's donuts in the back...JOKE😁
It's been almost a year since my sleeve surgery and I couldn't be happier with the physical results. I was 60 years old, 5'4" and weighed close to 210 when I finally made an appointment with a bariatric surgeon. I'm now 61 and 134 pounds...I'm still 5'4" though. The past few days I've been in deep thought mode and was just hoping to use this forum to vent and hopefully get some feedback, positive or negative.
Dining out: It's going to happen. It was probably part of your life pre-surgery, so it's naive of you to think it won't be a part of your life post-surgery. So maybe it's just me and my family (obese mother) and significant other (F, normal weight), but the minute the menu appears, I get a barrage of "Oh..they have plenty of appetizers and small portions you can order. Be careful, etc. Did you see the vegetable plate?"
OK, so I know my significant other and my mom love me and are probably just concerned about my health and eating habits post-op, and if I'm being overly sensitive, just tell me and I'll shut up, but when they say things like that, it's not helping! If anything, something deep in my primordial starving "fat" brain wants to order the biggest thing on the menu and attempt to eat it.
When it happened yesterday at lunch, I calmly and nicely asked both of them if they could refrain from offering me ordering advice, as I assured them, thinking about the ordering process and the actual eating of said meal in a healthy manner was the number one priority on my mind pretty much 24/7. They didn't seem to take it too well. Which leads me to my next thought...
I might be stereotyping, but I'm willing to bet that a lot of us here were never/are not selfish people. I'm sure there are pages of psychological data written about the personality traits of the chronically obese and the myriad reasons we ended up as we did. My point is, after bariatric surgery, you might have to become a little selfish. You may need to put yourself first, sometimes to the detriment of others. Obviously, it helps if you can do this in a nice manner, but with certain people and situations in your life post-surgery, you might just have to be a selfish a*****e.
If your new lifestyle (diet, whatever you want to call it), exercise regimen, food habits, etc don't quite mesh with those around you, too bad. This is your last chance at success and you need to make YOU the priority. I walk a lot now...and it takes a lot of time. Some of that is time I used to spend with other people...now it's not always like that. Some have mentioned it. I don't care. I always invite them to walk with me but I'm not going to not walk because they want to do something else or don't feel like walking.
When I think about some of the healthiest people I have known in my life, they were/are quite selfish when it comes to exercise. One of my friends has been to the gym every morning from 5:30-7:30 for 35 years. He never misses. It's not an option. That's amazing to me because despite the genetics of obesity, there's no question that having some type of exercise regimen helps at some level. Did I ever have that level of commitment? Only to stopping at Whataburger several times a week.
So as much as I read pre-surgery and even with the psychological profiling the doctor did, I never read much or heard anyone talk about some of the changes I needed to make mentally to make this work. It seems like most of the pre-surgery discussion is about how to eat before and after the surgery and most of the psychological discussion is about not letting one addiction (food) be supplanted by another (drugs, alcohol, etc).
The crux of this dissertation, if you're still reading, is that there couldn't be more truth to the phrase bantered around here...."They operated on your stomach, not your brain". Prepare yourself for some mental challenges that being thinner does not make any easier. I must look a lot better because everyone tells me so...but I don't always feel better. Some of the same issues I've dealt with all my life, totally unrelated to weight, are still around. It's not that I expected them to disappear, but I think at some level, deep down, many of us think/thought, "Oh, if only I weren't so fat, I wouldn't have to deal with this problem [insert the problem/issue of your choosing]". Maybe I was just being naive or stupid, or both, but even being "thin" comes with plenty of challenges. I know these are "first world" problems and I'm not trying to sound like a complaining, spoiled brat. I just wanted to let off some steam here in the hopes that I'm not alone.
Thanks for listening.

Thanks for the comments, stories and words of encouragement. As far as age goes, I'm only sorry I didn't do it much sooner (younger), but better late than never. I think for myself, there has always been this "fear" or mindset that surgery is/was the last option and if I had done it 10 years earlier and things didn't go well, I'd have to live the rest of my life dealing with the regret, frustration and failure. After the fact, I feel I have total control and have learned the life skills required to maintain this "new me" until I don't exist anymore.
And as far as people-pleasing, I still aim to please, but I'm starting with myself!😜

Thanks for the comments, stories and words of encouragement. As far as age goes, I'm only sorry I didn't do it much sooner (younger), but better late than never. I think for myself, there has always been this "fear" or mindset that surgery is/was the last option and if I had done it 10 years earlier and things didn't go well, I'd have to live the rest of my life dealing with the regret, frustration and failure. After the fact, I feel I have total control and have learned the life skills required to maintain this "new me" until I don't exist anymore.
And as far as people-pleasing, I still aim to please, but I'm starting with myself!😜

Can we pretend this is an Overeaters Anonymous meeting and it's my turn to stand up front and bare my soul?...especially since I never had the balls to set foot in a live meeting during my 35 years of having a BMI score higher than my IQ. There's donuts in the back...JOKE😁
It's been almost a year since my sleeve surgery and I couldn't be happier with the physical results. I was 60 years old, 5'4" and weighed close to 210 when I finally made an appointment with a bariatric surgeon. I'm now 61 and 134 pounds...I'm still 5'4" though. The past few days I've been in deep thought mode and was just hoping to use this forum to vent and hopefully get some feedback, positive or negative.
Dining out: It's going to happen. It was probably part of your life pre-surgery, so it's naive of you to think it won't be a part of your life post-surgery. So maybe it's just me and my family (obese mother) and significant other (F, normal weight), but the minute the menu appears, I get a barrage of "Oh..they have plenty of appetizers and small portions you can order. Be careful, etc. Did you see the vegetable plate?"
OK, so I know my significant other and my mom love me and are probably just concerned about my health and eating habits post-op, and if I'm being overly sensitive, just tell me and I'll shut up, but when they say things like that, it's not helping! If anything, something deep in my primordial starving "fat" brain wants to order the biggest thing on the menu and attempt to eat it.
When it happened yesterday at lunch, I calmly and nicely asked both of them if they could refrain from offering me ordering advice, as I assured them, thinking about the ordering process and the actual eating of said meal in a healthy manner was the number one priority on my mind pretty much 24/7. They didn't seem to take it too well. Which leads me to my next thought...
I might be stereotyping, but I'm willing to bet that a lot of us here were never/are not selfish people. I'm sure there are pages of psychological data written about the personality traits of the chronically obese and the myriad reasons we ended up as we did. My point is, after bariatric surgery, you might have to become a little selfish. You may need to put yourself first, sometimes to the detriment of others. Obviously, it helps if you can do this in a nice manner, but with certain people and situations in your life post-surgery, you might just have to be a selfish a*****e.
If your new lifestyle (diet, whatever you want to call it), exercise regimen, food habits, etc don't quite mesh with those around you, too bad. This is your last chance at success and you need to make YOU the priority. I walk a lot now...and it takes a lot of time. Some of that is time I used to spend with other people...now it's not always like that. Some have mentioned it. I don't care. I always invite them to walk with me but I'm not going to not walk because they want to do something else or don't feel like walking.
When I think about some of the healthiest people I have known in my life, they were/are quite selfish when it comes to exercise. One of my friends has been to the gym every morning from 5:30-7:30 for 35 years. He never misses. It's not an option. That's amazing to me because despite the genetics of obesity, there's no question that having some type of exercise regimen helps at some level. Did I ever have that level of commitment? Only to stopping at Whataburger several times a week.
So as much as I read pre-surgery and even with the psychological profiling the doctor did, I never read much or heard anyone talk about some of the changes I needed to make mentally to make this work. It seems like most of the pre-surgery discussion is about how to eat before and after the surgery and most of the psychological discussion is about not letting one addiction (food) be supplanted by another (drugs, alcohol, etc).
The crux of this dissertation, if you're still reading, is that there couldn't be more truth to the phrase bantered around here...."They operated on your stomach, not your brain". Prepare yourself for some mental challenges that being thinner does not make any easier. I must look a lot better because everyone tells me so...but I don't always feel better. Some of the same issues I've dealt with all my life, totally unrelated to weight, are still around. It's not that I expected them to disappear, but I think at some level, deep down, many of us think/thought, "Oh, if only I weren't so fat, I wouldn't have to deal with this problem [insert the problem/issue of your choosing]". Maybe I was just being naive or stupid, or both, but even being "thin" comes with plenty of challenges. I know these are "first world" problems and I'm not trying to sound like a complaining, spoiled brat. I just wanted to let off some steam here in the hopes that I'm not alone.
Thanks for listening.

Thanks for the comments, stories and words of encouragement. As far as age goes, I'm only sorry I didn't do it much sooner (younger), but better late than never. I think for myself, there has always been this "fear" or mindset that surgery is/was the last option and if I had done it 10 years earlier and things didn't go well, I'd have to live the rest of my life dealing with the regret, frustration and failure. After the fact, I feel I have total control and have learned the life skills required to maintain this "new me" until I don't exist anymore.
And as far as people-pleasing, I still aim to please, but I'm starting with myself!😜

As a recovering people pleaser, I applaud you for prioritizing your health- both the physical and mental aspects of your health. Taking care of ourselves is not selfish- its part of being responsible for you own well being.
Im so glad you are setting some boundaries, and I am going to remember that when I need to do the same for myself. Thanks for putting into words that there is more to this process than weighing and measuring our food.
Best of luck to you on this journey- and please keep sharing your story, it helps both yourself and those around you!

I'm 68 years old and it was nice to hear from an older member. All of your points ring true and overall you seem to be doing great. Congrats on becoming "normal" size." I'm STILL pre-op. I was one week from surgery and came up with A-Fib which the cardiologist and I are working on. I'm hoping to be able to have the surgery by the end of this year.
I think there will both phyisical and mental challenges, we'll see.

Hi Robert.
I have never heard the phrase "They operated on your stomach, not your brain" But it is oh so true. So much work yet to do on ourselves. Thank you for sharing this.
It has taken quite a few months to build up my stamina and muscles to be able to go on a decent walk. I have been asked to join a couple of walking groups though I just love the freedom of being able to walk where I want and when I want and for how short or long I want. Company would be nice sometimes but it's easy to be lost in your own thoughts or have some ear worm in your brain chanting along to the beat of my feet. Not selfish just mindful.

I always said...... "the surgery is the EASY part" ..... it's what comes after is the real test .

You make some really good points about needing to be a little selfish. I think of all the people in my life who need things a certain way, and how I go out of my way to accommodate. Oh, you go to bed really early, or you must eat dinner at 3pm, or you only like Italian food, or can't meet up at that time because you need to workout? Okay, I can be flexible! I'm turning 50 this coming year and it's only in the past few years I feel like I've started to learn to advocate for my own needs. And it's definitely a learning curve. It's so hard to remember that just because you could be flexible doesn't mean you always have to be.
As for relatives and food, my strongest childhood memory is probably my very obese grandma, who seemingly passed down 100% of her genes to me (thanks, Grandma!), saying within the span of two breaths: "You know, you're going to be overweight like me and you have to be so careful with what you eat...want more Polish sausage?" I mean, bless her heart, she lived to 92 and was sharp and reasonably active until the last year or two, so if she passed that gene along to me, I'll take it. But you can't tell a person one minute that they have to eat healthy and the next minute present them with an entire family-size tupperware filled with grapes as a snack because "grapes are healthy." Which I would eat all of even if I didn't want them so as not to hurt her feelings. Meanwhile, my mom was rail thin and always going on some sort of "eat grapefruit for a week and melt the fat off" women's magazine fad diet my whole childhood.
Yikes. Family can do a number on you. And you're right, all that stuff will still be there to deal with emotionally even after the surgery...

Can we pretend this is an Overeaters Anonymous meeting and it's my turn to stand up front and bare my soul?...especially since I never had the balls to set foot in a live meeting during my 35 years of having a BMI score higher than my IQ. There's donuts in the back...JOKE😁
It's been almost a year since my sleeve surgery and I couldn't be happier with the physical results. I was 60 years old, 5'4" and weighed close to 210 when I finally made an appointment with a bariatric surgeon. I'm now 61 and 134 pounds...I'm still 5'4" though. The past few days I've been in deep thought mode and was just hoping to use this forum to vent and hopefully get some feedback, positive or negative.
Dining out: It's going to happen. It was probably part of your life pre-surgery, so it's naive of you to think it won't be a part of your life post-surgery. So maybe it's just me and my family (obese mother) and significant other (F, normal weight), but the minute the menu appears, I get a barrage of "Oh..they have plenty of appetizers and small portions you can order. Be careful, etc. Did you see the vegetable plate?"
OK, so I know my significant other and my mom love me and are probably just concerned about my health and eating habits post-op, and if I'm being overly sensitive, just tell me and I'll shut up, but when they say things like that, it's not helping! If anything, something deep in my primordial starving "fat" brain wants to order the biggest thing on the menu and attempt to eat it.
When it happened yesterday at lunch, I calmly and nicely asked both of them if they could refrain from offering me ordering advice, as I assured them, thinking about the ordering process and the actual eating of said meal in a healthy manner was the number one priority on my mind pretty much 24/7. They didn't seem to take it too well. Which leads me to my next thought...
I might be stereotyping, but I'm willing to bet that a lot of us here were never/are not selfish people. I'm sure there are pages of psychological data written about the personality traits of the chronically obese and the myriad reasons we ended up as we did. My point is, after bariatric surgery, you might have to become a little selfish. You may need to put yourself first, sometimes to the detriment of others. Obviously, it helps if you can do this in a nice manner, but with certain people and situations in your life post-surgery, you might just have to be a selfish a*****e.
If your new lifestyle (diet, whatever you want to call it), exercise regimen, food habits, etc don't quite mesh with those around you, too bad. This is your last chance at success and you need to make YOU the priority. I walk a lot now...and it takes a lot of time. Some of that is time I used to spend with other people...now it's not always like that. Some have mentioned it. I don't care. I always invite them to walk with me but I'm not going to not walk because they want to do something else or don't feel like walking.
When I think about some of the healthiest people I have known in my life, they were/are quite selfish when it comes to exercise. One of my friends has been to the gym every morning from 5:30-7:30 for 35 years. He never misses. It's not an option. That's amazing to me because despite the genetics of obesity, there's no question that having some type of exercise regimen helps at some level. Did I ever have that level of commitment? Only to stopping at Whataburger several times a week.
So as much as I read pre-surgery and even with the psychological profiling the doctor did, I never read much or heard anyone talk about some of the changes I needed to make mentally to make this work. It seems like most of the pre-surgery discussion is about how to eat before and after the surgery and most of the psychological discussion is about not letting one addiction (food) be supplanted by another (drugs, alcohol, etc).
The crux of this dissertation, if you're still reading, is that there couldn't be more truth to the phrase bantered around here...."They operated on your stomach, not your brain". Prepare yourself for some mental challenges that being thinner does not make any easier. I must look a lot better because everyone tells me so...but I don't always feel better. Some of the same issues I've dealt with all my life, totally unrelated to weight, are still around. It's not that I expected them to disappear, but I think at some level, deep down, many of us think/thought, "Oh, if only I weren't so fat, I wouldn't have to deal with this problem [insert the problem/issue of your choosing]". Maybe I was just being naive or stupid, or both, but even being "thin" comes with plenty of challenges. I know these are "first world" problems and I'm not trying to sound like a complaining, spoiled brat. I just wanted to let off some steam here in the hopes that I'm not alone.
Thanks for listening.

Can we pretend this is an Overeaters Anonymous meeting and it's my turn to stand up front and bare my soul?...especially since I never had the balls to set foot in a live meeting during my 35 years of having a BMI score higher than my IQ. There's donuts in the back...JOKE😁
It's been almost a year since my sleeve surgery and I couldn't be happier with the physical results. I was 60 years old, 5'4" and weighed close to 210 when I finally made an appointment with a bariatric surgeon. I'm now 61 and 134 pounds...I'm still 5'4" though. The past few days I've been in deep thought mode and was just hoping to use this forum to vent and hopefully get some feedback, positive or negative.
Dining out: It's going to happen. It was probably part of your life pre-surgery, so it's naive of you to think it won't be a part of your life post-surgery. So maybe it's just me and my family (obese mother) and significant other (F, normal weight), but the minute the menu appears, I get a barrage of "Oh..they have plenty of appetizers and small portions you can order. Be careful, etc. Did you see the vegetable plate?"
OK, so I know my significant other and my mom love me and are probably just concerned about my health and eating habits post-op, and if I'm being overly sensitive, just tell me and I'll shut up, but when they say things like that, it's not helping! If anything, something deep in my primordial starving "fat" brain wants to order the biggest thing on the menu and attempt to eat it.
When it happened yesterday at lunch, I calmly and nicely asked both of them if they could refrain from offering me ordering advice, as I assured them, thinking about the ordering process and the actual eating of said meal in a healthy manner was the number one priority on my mind pretty much 24/7. They didn't seem to take it too well. Which leads me to my next thought...
I might be stereotyping, but I'm willing to bet that a lot of us here were never/are not selfish people. I'm sure there are pages of psychological data written about the personality traits of the chronically obese and the myriad reasons we ended up as we did. My point is, after bariatric surgery, you might have to become a little selfish. You may need to put yourself first, sometimes to the detriment of others. Obviously, it helps if you can do this in a nice manner, but with certain people and situations in your life post-surgery, you might just have to be a selfish a*****e.
If your new lifestyle (diet, whatever you want to call it), exercise regimen, food habits, etc don't quite mesh with those around you, too bad. This is your last chance at success and you need to make YOU the priority. I walk a lot now...and it takes a lot of time. Some of that is time I used to spend with other people...now it's not always like that. Some have mentioned it. I don't care. I always invite them to walk with me but I'm not going to not walk because they want to do something else or don't feel like walking.
When I think about some of the healthiest people I have known in my life, they were/are quite selfish when it comes to exercise. One of my friends has been to the gym every morning from 5:30-7:30 for 35 years. He never misses. It's not an option. That's amazing to me because despite the genetics of obesity, there's no question that having some type of exercise regimen helps at some level. Did I ever have that level of commitment? Only to stopping at Whataburger several times a week.
So as much as I read pre-surgery and even with the psychological profiling the doctor did, I never read much or heard anyone talk about some of the changes I needed to make mentally to make this work. It seems like most of the pre-surgery discussion is about how to eat before and after the surgery and most of the psychological discussion is about not letting one addiction (food) be supplanted by another (drugs, alcohol, etc).
The crux of this dissertation, if you're still reading, is that there couldn't be more truth to the phrase bantered around here...."They operated on your stomach, not your brain". Prepare yourself for some mental challenges that being thinner does not make any easier. I must look a lot better because everyone tells me so...but I don't always feel better. Some of the same issues I've dealt with all my life, totally unrelated to weight, are still around. It's not that I expected them to disappear, but I think at some level, deep down, many of us think/thought, "Oh, if only I weren't so fat, I wouldn't have to deal with this problem [insert the problem/issue of your choosing]". Maybe I was just being naive or stupid, or both, but even being "thin" comes with plenty of challenges. I know these are "first world" problems and I'm not trying to sound like a complaining, spoiled brat. I just wanted to let off some steam here in the hopes that I'm not alone.
Thanks for listening.

Can we pretend this is an Overeaters Anonymous meeting and it's my turn to stand up front and bare my soul?...especially since I never had the balls to set foot in a live meeting during my 35 years of having a BMI score higher than my IQ. There's donuts in the back...JOKE😁
It's been almost a year since my sleeve surgery and I couldn't be happier with the physical results. I was 60 years old, 5'4" and weighed close to 210 when I finally made an appointment with a bariatric surgeon. I'm now 61 and 134 pounds...I'm still 5'4" though. The past few days I've been in deep thought mode and was just hoping to use this forum to vent and hopefully get some feedback, positive or negative.
Dining out: It's going to happen. It was probably part of your life pre-surgery, so it's naive of you to think it won't be a part of your life post-surgery. So maybe it's just me and my family (obese mother) and significant other (F, normal weight), but the minute the menu appears, I get a barrage of "Oh..they have plenty of appetizers and small portions you can order. Be careful, etc. Did you see the vegetable plate?"
OK, so I know my significant other and my mom love me and are probably just concerned about my health and eating habits post-op, and if I'm being overly sensitive, just tell me and I'll shut up, but when they say things like that, it's not helping! If anything, something deep in my primordial starving "fat" brain wants to order the biggest thing on the menu and attempt to eat it.
When it happened yesterday at lunch, I calmly and nicely asked both of them if they could refrain from offering me ordering advice, as I assured them, thinking about the ordering process and the actual eating of said meal in a healthy manner was the number one priority on my mind pretty much 24/7. They didn't seem to take it too well. Which leads me to my next thought...
I might be stereotyping, but I'm willing to bet that a lot of us here were never/are not selfish people. I'm sure there are pages of psychological data written about the personality traits of the chronically obese and the myriad reasons we ended up as we did. My point is, after bariatric surgery, you might have to become a little selfish. You may need to put yourself first, sometimes to the detriment of others. Obviously, it helps if you can do this in a nice manner, but with certain people and situations in your life post-surgery, you might just have to be a selfish a*****e.
If your new lifestyle (diet, whatever you want to call it), exercise regimen, food habits, etc don't quite mesh with those around you, too bad. This is your last chance at success and you need to make YOU the priority. I walk a lot now...and it takes a lot of time. Some of that is time I used to spend with other people...now it's not always like that. Some have mentioned it. I don't care. I always invite them to walk with me but I'm not going to not walk because they want to do something else or don't feel like walking.
When I think about some of the healthiest people I have known in my life, they were/are quite selfish when it comes to exercise. One of my friends has been to the gym every morning from 5:30-7:30 for 35 years. He never misses. It's not an option. That's amazing to me because despite the genetics of obesity, there's no question that having some type of exercise regimen helps at some level. Did I ever have that level of commitment? Only to stopping at Whataburger several times a week.
So as much as I read pre-surgery and even with the psychological profiling the doctor did, I never read much or heard anyone talk about some of the changes I needed to make mentally to make this work. It seems like most of the pre-surgery discussion is about how to eat before and after the surgery and most of the psychological discussion is about not letting one addiction (food) be supplanted by another (drugs, alcohol, etc).
The crux of this dissertation, if you're still reading, is that there couldn't be more truth to the phrase bantered around here...."They operated on your stomach, not your brain". Prepare yourself for some mental challenges that being thinner does not make any easier. I must look a lot better because everyone tells me so...but I don't always feel better. Some of the same issues I've dealt with all my life, totally unrelated to weight, are still around. It's not that I expected them to disappear, but I think at some level, deep down, many of us think/thought, "Oh, if only I weren't so fat, I wouldn't have to deal with this problem [insert the problem/issue of your choosing]". Maybe I was just being naive or stupid, or both, but even being "thin" comes with plenty of challenges. I know these are "first world" problems and I'm not trying to sound like a complaining, spoiled brat. I just wanted to let off some steam here in the hopes that I'm not alone.
Thanks for listening.

Can we pretend this is an Overeaters Anonymous meeting and it's my turn to stand up front and bare my soul?...especially since I never had the balls to set foot in a live meeting during my 35 years of having a BMI score higher than my IQ. There's donuts in the back...JOKE😁
It's been almost a year since my sleeve surgery and I couldn't be happier with the physical results. I was 60 years old, 5'4" and weighed close to 210 when I finally made an appointment with a bariatric surgeon. I'm now 61 and 134 pounds...I'm still 5'4" though. The past few days I've been in deep thought mode and was just hoping to use this forum to vent and hopefully get some feedback, positive or negative.
Dining out: It's going to happen. It was probably part of your life pre-surgery, so it's naive of you to think it won't be a part of your life post-surgery. So maybe it's just me and my family (obese mother) and significant other (F, normal weight), but the minute the menu appears, I get a barrage of "Oh..they have plenty of appetizers and small portions you can order. Be careful, etc. Did you see the vegetable plate?"
OK, so I know my significant other and my mom love me and are probably just concerned about my health and eating habits post-op, and if I'm being overly sensitive, just tell me and I'll shut up, but when they say things like that, it's not helping! If anything, something deep in my primordial starving "fat" brain wants to order the biggest thing on the menu and attempt to eat it.
When it happened yesterday at lunch, I calmly and nicely asked both of them if they could refrain from offering me ordering advice, as I assured them, thinking about the ordering process and the actual eating of said meal in a healthy manner was the number one priority on my mind pretty much 24/7. They didn't seem to take it too well. Which leads me to my next thought...
I might be stereotyping, but I'm willing to bet that a lot of us here were never/are not selfish people. I'm sure there are pages of psychological data written about the personality traits of the chronically obese and the myriad reasons we ended up as we did. My point is, after bariatric surgery, you might have to become a little selfish. You may need to put yourself first, sometimes to the detriment of others. Obviously, it helps if you can do this in a nice manner, but with certain people and situations in your life post-surgery, you might just have to be a selfish a*****e.
If your new lifestyle (diet, whatever you want to call it), exercise regimen, food habits, etc don't quite mesh with those around you, too bad. This is your last chance at success and you need to make YOU the priority. I walk a lot now...and it takes a lot of time. Some of that is time I used to spend with other people...now it's not always like that. Some have mentioned it. I don't care. I always invite them to walk with me but I'm not going to not walk because they want to do something else or don't feel like walking.
When I think about some of the healthiest people I have known in my life, they were/are quite selfish when it comes to exercise. One of my friends has been to the gym every morning from 5:30-7:30 for 35 years. He never misses. It's not an option. That's amazing to me because despite the genetics of obesity, there's no question that having some type of exercise regimen helps at some level. Did I ever have that level of commitment? Only to stopping at Whataburger several times a week.
So as much as I read pre-surgery and even with the psychological profiling the doctor did, I never read much or heard anyone talk about some of the changes I needed to make mentally to make this work. It seems like most of the pre-surgery discussion is about how to eat before and after the surgery and most of the psychological discussion is about not letting one addiction (food) be supplanted by another (drugs, alcohol, etc).
The crux of this dissertation, if you're still reading, is that there couldn't be more truth to the phrase bantered around here...."They operated on your stomach, not your brain". Prepare yourself for some mental challenges that being thinner does not make any easier. I must look a lot better because everyone tells me so...but I don't always feel better. Some of the same issues I've dealt with all my life, totally unrelated to weight, are still around. It's not that I expected them to disappear, but I think at some level, deep down, many of us think/thought, "Oh, if only I weren't so fat, I wouldn't have to deal with this problem [insert the problem/issue of your choosing]". Maybe I was just being naive or stupid, or both, but even being "thin" comes with plenty of challenges. I know these are "first world" problems and I'm not trying to sound like a complaining, spoiled brat. I just wanted to let off some steam here in the hopes that I'm not alone.
Thanks for listening.

Can we pretend this is an Overeaters Anonymous meeting and it's my turn to stand up front and bare my soul?...especially since I never had the balls to set foot in a live meeting during my 35 years of having a BMI score higher than my IQ. There's donuts in the back...JOKE😁
It's been almost a year since my sleeve surgery and I couldn't be happier with the physical results. I was 60 years old, 5'4" and weighed close to 210 when I finally made an appointment with a bariatric surgeon. I'm now 61 and 134 pounds...I'm still 5'4" though. The past few days I've been in deep thought mode and was just hoping to use this forum to vent and hopefully get some feedback, positive or negative.
Dining out: It's going to happen. It was probably part of your life pre-surgery, so it's naive of you to think it won't be a part of your life post-surgery. So maybe it's just me and my family (obese mother) and significant other (F, normal weight), but the minute the menu appears, I get a barrage of "Oh..they have plenty of appetizers and small portions you can order. Be careful, etc. Did you see the vegetable plate?"
OK, so I know my significant other and my mom love me and are probably just concerned about my health and eating habits post-op, and if I'm being overly sensitive, just tell me and I'll shut up, but when they say things like that, it's not helping! If anything, something deep in my primordial starving "fat" brain wants to order the biggest thing on the menu and attempt to eat it.
When it happened yesterday at lunch, I calmly and nicely asked both of them if they could refrain from offering me ordering advice, as I assured them, thinking about the ordering process and the actual eating of said meal in a healthy manner was the number one priority on my mind pretty much 24/7. They didn't seem to take it too well. Which leads me to my next thought...
I might be stereotyping, but I'm willing to bet that a lot of us here were never/are not selfish people. I'm sure there are pages of psychological data written about the personality traits of the chronically obese and the myriad reasons we ended up as we did. My point is, after bariatric surgery, you might have to become a little selfish. You may need to put yourself first, sometimes to the detriment of others. Obviously, it helps if you can do this in a nice manner, but with certain people and situations in your life post-surgery, you might just have to be a selfish a*****e.
If your new lifestyle (diet, whatever you want to call it), exercise regimen, food habits, etc don't quite mesh with those around you, too bad. This is your last chance at success and you need to make YOU the priority. I walk a lot now...and it takes a lot of time. Some of that is time I used to spend with other people...now it's not always like that. Some have mentioned it. I don't care. I always invite them to walk with me but I'm not going to not walk because they want to do something else or don't feel like walking.
When I think about some of the healthiest people I have known in my life, they were/are quite selfish when it comes to exercise. One of my friends has been to the gym every morning from 5:30-7:30 for 35 years. He never misses. It's not an option. That's amazing to me because despite the genetics of obesity, there's no question that having some type of exercise regimen helps at some level. Did I ever have that level of commitment? Only to stopping at Whataburger several times a week.
So as much as I read pre-surgery and even with the psychological profiling the doctor did, I never read much or heard anyone talk about some of the changes I needed to make mentally to make this work. It seems like most of the pre-surgery discussion is about how to eat before and after the surgery and most of the psychological discussion is about not letting one addiction (food) be supplanted by another (drugs, alcohol, etc).
The crux of this dissertation, if you're still reading, is that there couldn't be more truth to the phrase bantered around here...."They operated on your stomach, not your brain". Prepare yourself for some mental challenges that being thinner does not make any easier. I must look a lot better because everyone tells me so...but I don't always feel better. Some of the same issues I've dealt with all my life, totally unrelated to weight, are still around. It's not that I expected them to disappear, but I think at some level, deep down, many of us think/thought, "Oh, if only I weren't so fat, I wouldn't have to deal with this problem [insert the problem/issue of your choosing]". Maybe I was just being naive or stupid, or both, but even being "thin" comes with plenty of challenges. I know these are "first world" problems and I'm not trying to sound like a complaining, spoiled brat. I just wanted to let off some steam here in the hopes that I'm not alone.
Thanks for listening.

Can we pretend this is an Overeaters Anonymous meeting and it's my turn to stand up front and bare my soul?...especially since I never had the balls to set foot in a live meeting during my 35 years of having a BMI score higher than my IQ. There's donuts in the back...JOKE😁
It's been almost a year since my sleeve surgery and I couldn't be happier with the physical results. I was 60 years old, 5'4" and weighed close to 210 when I finally made an appointment with a bariatric surgeon. I'm now 61 and 134 pounds...I'm still 5'4" though. The past few days I've been in deep thought mode and was just hoping to use this forum to vent and hopefully get some feedback, positive or negative.
Dining out: It's going to happen. It was probably part of your life pre-surgery, so it's naive of you to think it won't be a part of your life post-surgery. So maybe it's just me and my family (obese mother) and significant other (F, normal weight), but the minute the menu appears, I get a barrage of "Oh..they have plenty of appetizers and small portions you can order. Be careful, etc. Did you see the vegetable plate?"
OK, so I know my significant other and my mom love me and are probably just concerned about my health and eating habits post-op, and if I'm being overly sensitive, just tell me and I'll shut up, but when they say things like that, it's not helping! If anything, something deep in my primordial starving "fat" brain wants to order the biggest thing on the menu and attempt to eat it.
When it happened yesterday at lunch, I calmly and nicely asked both of them if they could refrain from offering me ordering advice, as I assured them, thinking about the ordering process and the actual eating of said meal in a healthy manner was the number one priority on my mind pretty much 24/7. They didn't seem to take it too well. Which leads me to my next thought...
I might be stereotyping, but I'm willing to bet that a lot of us here were never/are not selfish people. I'm sure there are pages of psychological data written about the personality traits of the chronically obese and the myriad reasons we ended up as we did. My point is, after bariatric surgery, you might have to become a little selfish. You may need to put yourself first, sometimes to the detriment of others. Obviously, it helps if you can do this in a nice manner, but with certain people and situations in your life post-surgery, you might just have to be a selfish a*****e.
If your new lifestyle (diet, whatever you want to call it), exercise regimen, food habits, etc don't quite mesh with those around you, too bad. This is your last chance at success and you need to make YOU the priority. I walk a lot now...and it takes a lot of time. Some of that is time I used to spend with other people...now it's not always like that. Some have mentioned it. I don't care. I always invite them to walk with me but I'm not going to not walk because they want to do something else or don't feel like walking.
When I think about some of the healthiest people I have known in my life, they were/are quite selfish when it comes to exercise. One of my friends has been to the gym every morning from 5:30-7:30 for 35 years. He never misses. It's not an option. That's amazing to me because despite the genetics of obesity, there's no question that having some type of exercise regimen helps at some level. Did I ever have that level of commitment? Only to stopping at Whataburger several times a week.
So as much as I read pre-surgery and even with the psychological profiling the doctor did, I never read much or heard anyone talk about some of the changes I needed to make mentally to make this work. It seems like most of the pre-surgery discussion is about how to eat before and after the surgery and most of the psychological discussion is about not letting one addiction (food) be supplanted by another (drugs, alcohol, etc).
The crux of this dissertation, if you're still reading, is that there couldn't be more truth to the phrase bantered around here...."They operated on your stomach, not your brain". Prepare yourself for some mental challenges that being thinner does not make any easier. I must look a lot better because everyone tells me so...but I don't always feel better. Some of the same issues I've dealt with all my life, totally unrelated to weight, are still around. It's not that I expected them to disappear, but I think at some level, deep down, many of us think/thought, "Oh, if only I weren't so fat, I wouldn't have to deal with this problem [insert the problem/issue of your choosing]". Maybe I was just being naive or stupid, or both, but even being "thin" comes with plenty of challenges. I know these are "first world" problems and I'm not trying to sound like a complaining, spoiled brat. I just wanted to let off some steam here in the hopes that I'm not alone.
Thanks for listening.

Can we pretend this is an Overeaters Anonymous meeting and it's my turn to stand up front and bare my soul?...especially since I never had the balls to set foot in a live meeting during my 35 years of having a BMI score higher than my IQ. There's donuts in the back...JOKE😁
It's been almost a year since my sleeve surgery and I couldn't be happier with the physical results. I was 60 years old, 5'4" and weighed close to 210 when I finally made an appointment with a bariatric surgeon. I'm now 61 and 134 pounds...I'm still 5'4" though. The past few days I've been in deep thought mode and was just hoping to use this forum to vent and hopefully get some feedback, positive or negative.
Dining out: It's going to happen. It was probably part of your life pre-surgery, so it's naive of you to think it won't be a part of your life post-surgery. So maybe it's just me and my family (obese mother) and significant other (F, normal weight), but the minute the menu appears, I get a barrage of "Oh..they have plenty of appetizers and small portions you can order. Be careful, etc. Did you see the vegetable plate?"
OK, so I know my significant other and my mom love me and are probably just concerned about my health and eating habits post-op, and if I'm being overly sensitive, just tell me and I'll shut up, but when they say things like that, it's not helping! If anything, something deep in my primordial starving "fat" brain wants to order the biggest thing on the menu and attempt to eat it.
When it happened yesterday at lunch, I calmly and nicely asked both of them if they could refrain from offering me ordering advice, as I assured them, thinking about the ordering process and the actual eating of said meal in a healthy manner was the number one priority on my mind pretty much 24/7. They didn't seem to take it too well. Which leads me to my next thought...
I might be stereotyping, but I'm willing to bet that a lot of us here were never/are not selfish people. I'm sure there are pages of psychological data written about the personality traits of the chronically obese and the myriad reasons we ended up as we did. My point is, after bariatric surgery, you might have to become a little selfish. You may need to put yourself first, sometimes to the detriment of others. Obviously, it helps if you can do this in a nice manner, but with certain people and situations in your life post-surgery, you might just have to be a selfish a*****e.
If your new lifestyle (diet, whatever you want to call it), exercise regimen, food habits, etc don't quite mesh with those around you, too bad. This is your last chance at success and you need to make YOU the priority. I walk a lot now...and it takes a lot of time. Some of that is time I used to spend with other people...now it's not always like that. Some have mentioned it. I don't care. I always invite them to walk with me but I'm not going to not walk because they want to do something else or don't feel like walking.
When I think about some of the healthiest people I have known in my life, they were/are quite selfish when it comes to exercise. One of my friends has been to the gym every morning from 5:30-7:30 for 35 years. He never misses. It's not an option. That's amazing to me because despite the genetics of obesity, there's no question that having some type of exercise regimen helps at some level. Did I ever have that level of commitment? Only to stopping at Whataburger several times a week.
So as much as I read pre-surgery and even with the psychological profiling the doctor did, I never read much or heard anyone talk about some of the changes I needed to make mentally to make this work. It seems like most of the pre-surgery discussion is about how to eat before and after the surgery and most of the psychological discussion is about not letting one addiction (food) be supplanted by another (drugs, alcohol, etc).
The crux of this dissertation, if you're still reading, is that there couldn't be more truth to the phrase bantered around here...."They operated on your stomach, not your brain". Prepare yourself for some mental challenges that being thinner does not make any easier. I must look a lot better because everyone tells me so...but I don't always feel better. Some of the same issues I've dealt with all my life, totally unrelated to weight, are still around. It's not that I expected them to disappear, but I think at some level, deep down, many of us think/thought, "Oh, if only I weren't so fat, I wouldn't have to deal with this problem [insert the problem/issue of your choosing]". Maybe I was just being naive or stupid, or both, but even being "thin" comes with plenty of challenges. I know these are "first world" problems and I'm not trying to sound like a complaining, spoiled brat. I just wanted to let off some steam here in the hopes that I'm not alone.
Thanks for listening.

Can we pretend this is an Overeaters Anonymous meeting and it's my turn to stand up front and bare my soul?...especially since I never had the balls to set foot in a live meeting during my 35 years of having a BMI score higher than my IQ. There's donuts in the back...JOKE😁
It's been almost a year since my sleeve surgery and I couldn't be happier with the physical results. I was 60 years old, 5'4" and weighed close to 210 when I finally made an appointment with a bariatric surgeon. I'm now 61 and 134 pounds...I'm still 5'4" though. The past few days I've been in deep thought mode and was just hoping to use this forum to vent and hopefully get some feedback, positive or negative.
Dining out: It's going to happen. It was probably part of your life pre-surgery, so it's naive of you to think it won't be a part of your life post-surgery. So maybe it's just me and my family (obese mother) and significant other (F, normal weight), but the minute the menu appears, I get a barrage of "Oh..they have plenty of appetizers and small portions you can order. Be careful, etc. Did you see the vegetable plate?"
OK, so I know my significant other and my mom love me and are probably just concerned about my health and eating habits post-op, and if I'm being overly sensitive, just tell me and I'll shut up, but when they say things like that, it's not helping! If anything, something deep in my primordial starving "fat" brain wants to order the biggest thing on the menu and attempt to eat it.
When it happened yesterday at lunch, I calmly and nicely asked both of them if they could refrain from offering me ordering advice, as I assured them, thinking about the ordering process and the actual eating of said meal in a healthy manner was the number one priority on my mind pretty much 24/7. They didn't seem to take it too well. Which leads me to my next thought...
I might be stereotyping, but I'm willing to bet that a lot of us here were never/are not selfish people. I'm sure there are pages of psychological data written about the personality traits of the chronically obese and the myriad reasons we ended up as we did. My point is, after bariatric surgery, you might have to become a little selfish. You may need to put yourself first, sometimes to the detriment of others. Obviously, it helps if you can do this in a nice manner, but with certain people and situations in your life post-surgery, you might just have to be a selfish a*****e.
If your new lifestyle (diet, whatever you want to call it), exercise regimen, food habits, etc don't quite mesh with those around you, too bad. This is your last chance at success and you need to make YOU the priority. I walk a lot now...and it takes a lot of time. Some of that is time I used to spend with other people...now it's not always like that. Some have mentioned it. I don't care. I always invite them to walk with me but I'm not going to not walk because they want to do something else or don't feel like walking.
When I think about some of the healthiest people I have known in my life, they were/are quite selfish when it comes to exercise. One of my friends has been to the gym every morning from 5:30-7:30 for 35 years. He never misses. It's not an option. That's amazing to me because despite the genetics of obesity, there's no question that having some type of exercise regimen helps at some level. Did I ever have that level of commitment? Only to stopping at Whataburger several times a week.
So as much as I read pre-surgery and even with the psychological profiling the doctor did, I never read much or heard anyone talk about some of the changes I needed to make mentally to make this work. It seems like most of the pre-surgery discussion is about how to eat before and after the surgery and most of the psychological discussion is about not letting one addiction (food) be supplanted by another (drugs, alcohol, etc).
The crux of this dissertation, if you're still reading, is that there couldn't be more truth to the phrase bantered around here...."They operated on your stomach, not your brain". Prepare yourself for some mental challenges that being thinner does not make any easier. I must look a lot better because everyone tells me so...but I don't always feel better. Some of the same issues I've dealt with all my life, totally unrelated to weight, are still around. It's not that I expected them to disappear, but I think at some level, deep down, many of us think/thought, "Oh, if only I weren't so fat, I wouldn't have to deal with this problem [insert the problem/issue of your choosing]". Maybe I was just being naive or stupid, or both, but even being "thin" comes with plenty of challenges. I know these are "first world" problems and I'm not trying to sound like a complaining, spoiled brat. I just wanted to let off some steam here in the hopes that I'm not alone.
Thanks for listening.

Can we pretend this is an Overeaters Anonymous meeting and it's my turn to stand up front and bare my soul?...especially since I never had the balls to set foot in a live meeting during my 35 years of having a BMI score higher than my IQ. There's donuts in the back...JOKE😁
It's been almost a year since my sleeve surgery and I couldn't be happier with the physical results. I was 60 years old, 5'4" and weighed close to 210 when I finally made an appointment with a bariatric surgeon. I'm now 61 and 134 pounds...I'm still 5'4" though. The past few days I've been in deep thought mode and was just hoping to use this forum to vent and hopefully get some feedback, positive or negative.
Dining out: It's going to happen. It was probably part of your life pre-surgery, so it's naive of you to think it won't be a part of your life post-surgery. So maybe it's just me and my family (obese mother) and significant other (F, normal weight), but the minute the menu appears, I get a barrage of "Oh..they have plenty of appetizers and small portions you can order. Be careful, etc. Did you see the vegetable plate?"
OK, so I know my significant other and my mom love me and are probably just concerned about my health and eating habits post-op, and if I'm being overly sensitive, just tell me and I'll shut up, but when they say things like that, it's not helping! If anything, something deep in my primordial starving "fat" brain wants to order the biggest thing on the menu and attempt to eat it.
When it happened yesterday at lunch, I calmly and nicely asked both of them if they could refrain from offering me ordering advice, as I assured them, thinking about the ordering process and the actual eating of said meal in a healthy manner was the number one priority on my mind pretty much 24/7. They didn't seem to take it too well. Which leads me to my next thought...
I might be stereotyping, but I'm willing to bet that a lot of us here were never/are not selfish people. I'm sure there are pages of psychological data written about the personality traits of the chronically obese and the myriad reasons we ended up as we did. My point is, after bariatric surgery, you might have to become a little selfish. You may need to put yourself first, sometimes to the detriment of others. Obviously, it helps if you can do this in a nice manner, but with certain people and situations in your life post-surgery, you might just have to be a selfish a*****e.
If your new lifestyle (diet, whatever you want to call it), exercise regimen, food habits, etc don't quite mesh with those around you, too bad. This is your last chance at success and you need to make YOU the priority. I walk a lot now...and it takes a lot of time. Some of that is time I used to spend with other people...now it's not always like that. Some have mentioned it. I don't care. I always invite them to walk with me but I'm not going to not walk because they want to do something else or don't feel like walking.
When I think about some of the healthiest people I have known in my life, they were/are quite selfish when it comes to exercise. One of my friends has been to the gym every morning from 5:30-7:30 for 35 years. He never misses. It's not an option. That's amazing to me because despite the genetics of obesity, there's no question that having some type of exercise regimen helps at some level. Did I ever have that level of commitment? Only to stopping at Whataburger several times a week.
So as much as I read pre-surgery and even with the psychological profiling the doctor did, I never read much or heard anyone talk about some of the changes I needed to make mentally to make this work. It seems like most of the pre-surgery discussion is about how to eat before and after the surgery and most of the psychological discussion is about not letting one addiction (food) be supplanted by another (drugs, alcohol, etc).
The crux of this dissertation, if you're still reading, is that there couldn't be more truth to the phrase bantered around here...."They operated on your stomach, not your brain". Prepare yourself for some mental challenges that being thinner does not make any easier. I must look a lot better because everyone tells me so...but I don't always feel better. Some of the same issues I've dealt with all my life, totally unrelated to weight, are still around. It's not that I expected them to disappear, but I think at some level, deep down, many of us think/thought, "Oh, if only I weren't so fat, I wouldn't have to deal with this problem [insert the problem/issue of your choosing]". Maybe I was just being naive or stupid, or both, but even being "thin" comes with plenty of challenges. I know these are "first world" problems and I'm not trying to sound like a complaining, spoiled brat. I just wanted to let off some steam here in the hopes that I'm not alone.
Thanks for listening.

I am you! I had all of these same feelings and it almost blocked me from going through with the surgery. I have lost massive weight/inches before and got in the best shape of my life, which made me angry that I couldn't do it again. However, I had to learn to accept that I am getting older (40) and that my body has changed and no matter how angry I am at myself, that won't change the facts. I refused to continue feeling horrible every day when I woke up and being miserable with myself and the way I looked. I was also terrified by all of the horror stories I read and was scared I was going to die. I believe it's more normal than not for people to gravitate to the negatives than to see all of the positives being posted out there. It's human nature. I finally sucked it up and went to the hospital the day of surgery even though I still had all of those fears, even thinking I can still back out and leave....but my desire to feel better and live a better life outweighed all of that fear and I went through with it. BEST DECISION I'VE MADE IN MY LIFE! To add to this, I struggle with depression and anxiety and food has always been my vice/comfort. I was terrified in that respect too, that I wouldn't be able to mentally handle this journey. Surprisingly, I have been solid on that front too! After surgery, I had no cravings or desire to eat food. My family ate normal foods/fast food in front of me and it's didn't even phase me. A little over 3 months out and it still doesn't bother me. Yes, every once in a while, I think for a split second, oh man, I can't have cake on my bday! But it's really not going to kill me....I've eaten cake every year for 39 years! I'm really not missing anything. The reality of it is, we can eat the cake down the road if we want to. At this point in time, I don't really even want to. I'll close in saying that I don't know you, but I believe in you. If I could do this knowing the way my mind is and all the fear I had, you can most certainly do this. When you do, that anger will go away as soon as you realize how rewarding this journey can be.
Best of luck!

Aah the how often to weigh debate. The responses seem to swing from very rarely/never to daily. I weighed every day for the first two years or so but now weigh 3 or 4 times a week. In the past if I thought I was putting on weight I wouldn’t go near the scales. If I didn’t see the number on the scales I could believe I wasn’t putting on weight even if my pants were very tight or bought the next size. So me weighing as I do now is about what I need to do to keep myself honest. I say you know you best & weigh yourself as you need to keep yourself motivated & on track.
Has my hunger returned, yes. It did so slowly. Has it increased since it fully returned, no. There are still odd days or times I’m not all that hungry at all. (Wish that happened more often 😁.) I try to eat very much to a routine & not eat outside of that. If I think I’m hungry I consider if it’s real hunger or head hunger. Such as when did I last eat? Did I eat a smaller portion at my last meal? Is it almost time for a meal? How am I feeling - bored, sad, annoyed, stressed, etc. It can be an ‘interesting’ discussion I’m having with myself. 😁 This helps most of the time.

I’m sorry about your injury @huskymama especially after achieving so much. But you didn’t have to go back to shakes to lose your weight just go back to how & what you were eating before your injury though smaller portions as you can’t be as active at the moment. Meet your fluids & Protein goals. Eat your protein first then vegetables & last any carbs you’re allowed if you are able. Return to lower fats, carbs & sugar. Check with your dietician for ideas & guidance. Focus on upper body exercises because of your injury. Search for some exercises for those with limited mobility online. You can do this.

I found that I needed more and more calories to be satiated as the months passed. By 6 mo post-op, I just couldn't maintain a very low calorie diet without becoming ravenously hungry.
And, my weight loss progressively slowed down each month until the weight loss petered out at 9 months post-op. I reached my goal weight, losing 100% of my excess weight. I currently eat 1800-2000 calories a day and have maintained my final weight for five months so far.
While my hunger has returned, it is nothing like it was pre-op. I feel very much in control of my hunger, and I find it difficult to overeat... even when I want to. And my body generally craves healthier, cleaner foods vs. the garbage fast/junk food that was the staple of my diet pre-op.
I suspect the reason people regain is they increasingly indulge in slider foods... crackers, chips, Cookies, etc... and start drinking their calories... sugary drinks, alcohol, ice cream and such. I think it would be very hard for me to eat enough "real" food to regain. My restriction is still very present, but it's easy to defeat it by "eating around" my sleeve.

My hunger came back gradually too into my second year. I had my first experience of real hunger at about 8 months after a busy day when I hadn’t really eaten but not again for months. I still have times when I’m not really hungry or don’t eat all my usual portion & I’m 4 years out now. Because I eat regularly throughout the day I don’t really feel HUNGRY just yep must be time for my meal/snack.
Your portion sizes slowly increase as your losing until you get to a point where you are consuming the calories & nutrients your body needs to work effectively & your weight stabilises. It’s then up to you to manage your portions & calories by permanently adopting the changes & things you’ve learnt within your lifestyle (what you need & how you want to live & enjoy your life).
I eventually I reached a point where I was I eating about the accepted portion size of the Protein, vegetables, fruit, dairy, etc. for my meals & Snacks & to get in my daily calorie needs to maintain. It’s plenty of food & I don’t need or want more. I consume about 1500 calories which is appropriate for someone my height, age, weight & activity levels. (Interestingly I consumed about 1300 when I first stabilised & though I eat more now I’ve pretty much maintained my weigh. I presume to do with my body settling & adjusting.) I choose to rarely eat sweet foods or drinks. I don’t eat bread, rice, Pasta or potatoes but then they tend to sit heavily so an easy choice. I tend to eat whole or low processed foods most of the time.
Do I experience head hunger at times? Yes. But I recognise now that it’s not real hunger.Of course there are times I give in to it but I make better choices - like a few nuts, a little fruit or am trying beef Jerky at the moment. It’s funny but I rarely specifically crave salt, sugar or a specific food anymore except sometimes after I eat yoghurt I will crave salt. Don’t know why though.
This is how I am. You may be totally different & that’s okay. It comes down to how you manage it.

Hunger also came back gradually for me, along with my sweet-tooth - so gradually that I can't even pinpoint the time when I really noticed. I was just very slowly and steadily able to eat a little more. My weightloss was also a steady, slow thing, so I didn't have the big-loss numbers in the first five months others can have, I had constant stalls and a rate of loss no different to pre-surgery diet efforts. My loss did slow down closer I got to goal, but reaching goal also snuck up on me because the slow weightloss had me take my focus off the scale for a month or so because I just assumed it was going to take ages. That whole a-watched-pot-doesn't-boil thing.
These days I try to keep my calories around 1500, which I'll always have to be super mindful of because it takes so little to go over. Grazing is the enemy. Protein keeps me satisfied the longest, so that's always got to be the priority. The plan is for life.

For me, hunger came back gradually. At first 800 cal was hard to get to, then it became easier, then 1200 seemed impossible, then it became harder to stay at 1200 calories... Etc. It's natural for our capacity and hunger to expand a little overtime but never close to what it was pre-surgery. The honeymoon period is the best time to reinforce the right way to eat and how to deal with life's problems without food. I think one of the reasons people gain lots of weight later is because they just aren't committed to the life-long changes needed to keep the weight off. Many use life's problems as an excuse to eat around their sleeve, like snacking on slider foods. Some blame the surgery itself when it isn't the surgery but their unwillingness to stay on plan from day one.
If you stick to the basic rules of your program, and stay focused you will be successful. Many gain a small amount weight after reaching it's lowest weight, but that is just the body adjusting to get to a healthy weight for you and that is natural too.