SpartanMaker

I think we don't talk about it because what is there to say? I'm pretty sure we all recognize that WLS does not fix eating disorders and that therapy is the recommendation. Beyond that, what would we discuss?
I don't agree with this assessment, but for what it's worth, the medical community seems to believe that full blown eating disorders are fairly rare in the obese patient population. This is one of the reasons the clinical recommendation is to screen for eating disorders prior to WLS. If an eating disorder is discovered during the psyc eval, it can be a contraindication for proceeding with WLS, depending on the severity and the behavior in question.
My personal belief is that you just about can't become obese unless you have some level of disordered eating. Perhaps for many of us the level of disordered eating is sub-clinical (in other words, it's not to the point where we would formally be diagnosed with an eating disorder), or perhaps lots of people aren't fully truthful during the psyc eval to avoid being told we don't qualify for surgery. Either way, I think we have a lot of people that complete surgery and have disappointing results because they only treated part of the problem,

Rather than determine what you can eat to "satisfy" that craving, maybe it would be better to try and first understand why you're craving sweets at all?
Some thoughts on possible things that may be driving this feeling:
Forbidden foods: If you think of sweets as "forbidden", this can actually intensify your cravings for them. You might need to rethink your relationship with certain foods if this is true.
Stress or a desire to self-soothe: Stress as well as physical and/or emotional pain can definitely drive you to crave things you see as comforting. For many, sweets may do this because eating them can trigger endorphins and dopamine in your brain in the same way powerful illicit drugs can.
Contextual associations: We sometimes associate certain food with certain things. Examples would be people that feel they have to eat dessert or the meal isn't "done". Another example would be people that eat popcorn at the movies.
Boredom: Typically boredom doesn't drive specific cravings, but can absolutely drive you to eat when you're not really hungry.
Nutrient deficiencies/poor hydration: While there's a lot of anecdotal references for the idea that your body will crave certain things if you have a specific nutrient deficiency, there's not much scientific evidence for this belief. (In fact there's a lot of evidence that it's not correct. If that was actually driving cravings, we'd all be craving kale and broccoli instead of sugary, salty, fatty foods) That said, there are studies that show both poor hydration or insufficient Protein or Fiber will increase hunger. In this case however, your cravings would most likely be less specific and more "I'm hungry", vs. "I want sweets".
i think once you understand the WHY, you'll be better armed on what you can do to address the craving. In some cases, distractions like @Arabesque mentioned may actually work better than finding a sweet thing that "satisfies" your craving. In other cases, you might be better off eating off plan if the "forbidden" food is the culprit. Only you can really know what's driving this and how best to deal with it.

Can you explain what you mean by false equivalency? A lot of the things @Nepenthe44 mentioned seem to be listed as warning signs for ED:
https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/warning-signs-and-symptoms
https://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/8-signs-you-may-have-an-eating-disorder/
https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/common-eating-disorders#signs
It's plain to see that some of the things bariatric programs (and this forum), encourage are also listed on those pages. Certainly those things alone don't equal an ED diagnosis, but I do think some of them may cross the line into disordered eating, especially if they lead to or cause issues in other parts of our lives. For example:
Do you worry about "messing up" on your bariatric program to the extent that it's causing severe anxiety issues? Alternately, if you do eat off plan, do you express self-disgust and make plans for how to "make-up" for what you ate through extreme exercise or fasting? Are you constantly worried about "going over" your calories and/or macros and do you spend hours every day (to the exclusion of work or family), tracking these things? Do you actively avoid eating or drinking in public because you don't or can't eat like a "normal" person? Do you compulsively weigh and measure yourself and freak out when something is off a bit? To me, these are just a few possible examples of how "what's expected of a good bariatric patient" may just cross the line into an eating disorder. Regardless of the reason or intent, when our relationship with food or our bodies becomes an obsession, we have an issue.

I think we don't talk about it because what is there to say? I'm pretty sure we all recognize that WLS does not fix eating disorders and that therapy is the recommendation. Beyond that, what would we discuss?
I don't agree with this assessment, but for what it's worth, the medical community seems to believe that full blown eating disorders are fairly rare in the obese patient population. This is one of the reasons the clinical recommendation is to screen for eating disorders prior to WLS. If an eating disorder is discovered during the psyc eval, it can be a contraindication for proceeding with WLS, depending on the severity and the behavior in question.
My personal belief is that you just about can't become obese unless you have some level of disordered eating. Perhaps for many of us the level of disordered eating is sub-clinical (in other words, it's not to the point where we would formally be diagnosed with an eating disorder), or perhaps lots of people aren't fully truthful during the psyc eval to avoid being told we don't qualify for surgery. Either way, I think we have a lot of people that complete surgery and have disappointing results because they only treated part of the problem,

I'm really worried that you're overtraining.
While physical exercise is a good thing, it's absolutely possible to overdo it. Some possible warning signs for you to watch for:
Feeling tired all the time Trouble sleeping Constant muscle soreness Symptoms of depression Mood swings and/or feeling irritable Feeling stressed all the time Why should you be concerned?
Due to your weight, you are at a lot higher risk of injury when exercising. Overtraining ratchets up the likelihood of injury quite a bit more. A significant injury right now could set you back months. Due to reduced food intake, you are at a pretty significant disadvantage recovery-wise compared to someone that does not have to contend with a very low calorie diet. Calories from food (not just protein), is absolutely needed to help post workout recovery. Overtraining can actually be counterproductive to weight loss because it significantly increases cortisol levels. I won't spend too much time talking about why cortisol matters, but even slightly elevated levels of cortisol can negatively impact weight loss. Plus, if you're impacting your sleep levels, this negative effect is exacerbated. Overtraining can actually be bad for your heart. We tend to think that if some cardiovascular exercise is good, more should be better, but that's not always true. Among other things, people that overtrain can cause problems like hypertrophic cardiomyopathy and AFib. While I don't think you're quite to this level yet, it's something to watch out for. Overtraining can actually impact your ability to fight off infection. Getting sick could also set you back quite a bit. If all of the above weren't enough, the likelihood of you stopping training altogether is significantly elevated if you overtrain. I certainly understand you think you're doing the right thing, but hardly anyone that's overtraining realizes it until they suffer the impacts of it. I also think many formerly obese individuals may be more likely to overtrain for a few reasons:
We are typically starting from a poor base fitness level, so it does not take nearly as much to overtrain. Most of us have tendency toward addictive behavior. (Yes, overtraining can be due to transfer addiction.) We are trying to "makeup" for a previous lack of exercise. We think that this will help us lose weight faster. As I mentioned, this behavior can actually slow down fat loss, rather than speed it up. Instead, our goal should be to build a sustainable level of fitness that accomplishes a few things:
To develop a good level of cardiovascular endurance that keeps our bodies and minds healthy To strengthen our muscles to make everyday living easier and more sustainable for the long-term To decrease the risk of illness and injury To burn more calories, both during exercise and at rest To look good naked (okay, for some of us, maybe that's pushing it!) One of the best ways to do all that is to ensure your current level of exercise is sustainable. From that sustainable base, we add in something called "progressive overload" to ensure we are actually benefiting from the exercise. When we overtrain, there's no room for progress, meaning eventually you either burnout, or your body adapts and the benefit becomes lost.
Sorry for the long post here. I know to you I'm just some random person on the internet and you're not likely to pay much attention anyway. Even so, the risk is real, and I encourage you to research this to make sure I'm not just blowing smoke. More than anything, even if you don't think you're overtraining, I'd hate for others to come away from this thread thinking your exercise workload is what they should be doing too. For 99% of us it's not.

I'm really worried that you're overtraining.
While physical exercise is a good thing, it's absolutely possible to overdo it. Some possible warning signs for you to watch for:
Feeling tired all the time Trouble sleeping Constant muscle soreness Symptoms of depression Mood swings and/or feeling irritable Feeling stressed all the time Why should you be concerned?
Due to your weight, you are at a lot higher risk of injury when exercising. Overtraining ratchets up the likelihood of injury quite a bit more. A significant injury right now could set you back months. Due to reduced food intake, you are at a pretty significant disadvantage recovery-wise compared to someone that does not have to contend with a very low calorie diet. Calories from food (not just protein), is absolutely needed to help post workout recovery. Overtraining can actually be counterproductive to weight loss because it significantly increases cortisol levels. I won't spend too much time talking about why cortisol matters, but even slightly elevated levels of cortisol can negatively impact weight loss. Plus, if you're impacting your sleep levels, this negative effect is exacerbated. Overtraining can actually be bad for your heart. We tend to think that if some cardiovascular exercise is good, more should be better, but that's not always true. Among other things, people that overtrain can cause problems like hypertrophic cardiomyopathy and AFib. While I don't think you're quite to this level yet, it's something to watch out for. Overtraining can actually impact your ability to fight off infection. Getting sick could also set you back quite a bit. If all of the above weren't enough, the likelihood of you stopping training altogether is significantly elevated if you overtrain. I certainly understand you think you're doing the right thing, but hardly anyone that's overtraining realizes it until they suffer the impacts of it. I also think many formerly obese individuals may be more likely to overtrain for a few reasons:
We are typically starting from a poor base fitness level, so it does not take nearly as much to overtrain. Most of us have tendency toward addictive behavior. (Yes, overtraining can be due to transfer addiction.) We are trying to "makeup" for a previous lack of exercise. We think that this will help us lose weight faster. As I mentioned, this behavior can actually slow down fat loss, rather than speed it up. Instead, our goal should be to build a sustainable level of fitness that accomplishes a few things:
To develop a good level of cardiovascular endurance that keeps our bodies and minds healthy To strengthen our muscles to make everyday living easier and more sustainable for the long-term To decrease the risk of illness and injury To burn more calories, both during exercise and at rest To look good naked (okay, for some of us, maybe that's pushing it!) One of the best ways to do all that is to ensure your current level of exercise is sustainable. From that sustainable base, we add in something called "progressive overload" to ensure we are actually benefiting from the exercise. When we overtrain, there's no room for progress, meaning eventually you either burnout, or your body adapts and the benefit becomes lost.
Sorry for the long post here. I know to you I'm just some random person on the internet and you're not likely to pay much attention anyway. Even so, the risk is real, and I encourage you to research this to make sure I'm not just blowing smoke. More than anything, even if you don't think you're overtraining, I'd hate for others to come away from this thread thinking your exercise workload is what they should be doing too. For 99% of us it's not.

I'm really worried that you're overtraining.
While physical exercise is a good thing, it's absolutely possible to overdo it. Some possible warning signs for you to watch for:
Feeling tired all the time Trouble sleeping Constant muscle soreness Symptoms of depression Mood swings and/or feeling irritable Feeling stressed all the time Why should you be concerned?
Due to your weight, you are at a lot higher risk of injury when exercising. Overtraining ratchets up the likelihood of injury quite a bit more. A significant injury right now could set you back months. Due to reduced food intake, you are at a pretty significant disadvantage recovery-wise compared to someone that does not have to contend with a very low calorie diet. Calories from food (not just protein), is absolutely needed to help post workout recovery. Overtraining can actually be counterproductive to weight loss because it significantly increases cortisol levels. I won't spend too much time talking about why cortisol matters, but even slightly elevated levels of cortisol can negatively impact weight loss. Plus, if you're impacting your sleep levels, this negative effect is exacerbated. Overtraining can actually be bad for your heart. We tend to think that if some cardiovascular exercise is good, more should be better, but that's not always true. Among other things, people that overtrain can cause problems like hypertrophic cardiomyopathy and AFib. While I don't think you're quite to this level yet, it's something to watch out for. Overtraining can actually impact your ability to fight off infection. Getting sick could also set you back quite a bit. If all of the above weren't enough, the likelihood of you stopping training altogether is significantly elevated if you overtrain. I certainly understand you think you're doing the right thing, but hardly anyone that's overtraining realizes it until they suffer the impacts of it. I also think many formerly obese individuals may be more likely to overtrain for a few reasons:
We are typically starting from a poor base fitness level, so it does not take nearly as much to overtrain. Most of us have tendency toward addictive behavior. (Yes, overtraining can be due to transfer addiction.) We are trying to "makeup" for a previous lack of exercise. We think that this will help us lose weight faster. As I mentioned, this behavior can actually slow down fat loss, rather than speed it up. Instead, our goal should be to build a sustainable level of fitness that accomplishes a few things:
To develop a good level of cardiovascular endurance that keeps our bodies and minds healthy To strengthen our muscles to make everyday living easier and more sustainable for the long-term To decrease the risk of illness and injury To burn more calories, both during exercise and at rest To look good naked (okay, for some of us, maybe that's pushing it!) One of the best ways to do all that is to ensure your current level of exercise is sustainable. From that sustainable base, we add in something called "progressive overload" to ensure we are actually benefiting from the exercise. When we overtrain, there's no room for progress, meaning eventually you either burnout, or your body adapts and the benefit becomes lost.
Sorry for the long post here. I know to you I'm just some random person on the internet and you're not likely to pay much attention anyway. Even so, the risk is real, and I encourage you to research this to make sure I'm not just blowing smoke. More than anything, even if you don't think you're overtraining, I'd hate for others to come away from this thread thinking your exercise workload is what they should be doing too. For 99% of us it's not.

I'm really worried that you're overtraining.
While physical exercise is a good thing, it's absolutely possible to overdo it. Some possible warning signs for you to watch for:
Feeling tired all the time Trouble sleeping Constant muscle soreness Symptoms of depression Mood swings and/or feeling irritable Feeling stressed all the time Why should you be concerned?
Due to your weight, you are at a lot higher risk of injury when exercising. Overtraining ratchets up the likelihood of injury quite a bit more. A significant injury right now could set you back months. Due to reduced food intake, you are at a pretty significant disadvantage recovery-wise compared to someone that does not have to contend with a very low calorie diet. Calories from food (not just protein), is absolutely needed to help post workout recovery. Overtraining can actually be counterproductive to weight loss because it significantly increases cortisol levels. I won't spend too much time talking about why cortisol matters, but even slightly elevated levels of cortisol can negatively impact weight loss. Plus, if you're impacting your sleep levels, this negative effect is exacerbated. Overtraining can actually be bad for your heart. We tend to think that if some cardiovascular exercise is good, more should be better, but that's not always true. Among other things, people that overtrain can cause problems like hypertrophic cardiomyopathy and AFib. While I don't think you're quite to this level yet, it's something to watch out for. Overtraining can actually impact your ability to fight off infection. Getting sick could also set you back quite a bit. If all of the above weren't enough, the likelihood of you stopping training altogether is significantly elevated if you overtrain. I certainly understand you think you're doing the right thing, but hardly anyone that's overtraining realizes it until they suffer the impacts of it. I also think many formerly obese individuals may be more likely to overtrain for a few reasons:
We are typically starting from a poor base fitness level, so it does not take nearly as much to overtrain. Most of us have tendency toward addictive behavior. (Yes, overtraining can be due to transfer addiction.) We are trying to "makeup" for a previous lack of exercise. We think that this will help us lose weight faster. As I mentioned, this behavior can actually slow down fat loss, rather than speed it up. Instead, our goal should be to build a sustainable level of fitness that accomplishes a few things:
To develop a good level of cardiovascular endurance that keeps our bodies and minds healthy To strengthen our muscles to make everyday living easier and more sustainable for the long-term To decrease the risk of illness and injury To burn more calories, both during exercise and at rest To look good naked (okay, for some of us, maybe that's pushing it!) One of the best ways to do all that is to ensure your current level of exercise is sustainable. From that sustainable base, we add in something called "progressive overload" to ensure we are actually benefiting from the exercise. When we overtrain, there's no room for progress, meaning eventually you either burnout, or your body adapts and the benefit becomes lost.
Sorry for the long post here. I know to you I'm just some random person on the internet and you're not likely to pay much attention anyway. Even so, the risk is real, and I encourage you to research this to make sure I'm not just blowing smoke. More than anything, even if you don't think you're overtraining, I'd hate for others to come away from this thread thinking your exercise workload is what they should be doing too. For 99% of us it's not.

I'm really worried that you're overtraining.
While physical exercise is a good thing, it's absolutely possible to overdo it. Some possible warning signs for you to watch for:
Feeling tired all the time Trouble sleeping Constant muscle soreness Symptoms of depression Mood swings and/or feeling irritable Feeling stressed all the time Why should you be concerned?
Due to your weight, you are at a lot higher risk of injury when exercising. Overtraining ratchets up the likelihood of injury quite a bit more. A significant injury right now could set you back months. Due to reduced food intake, you are at a pretty significant disadvantage recovery-wise compared to someone that does not have to contend with a very low calorie diet. Calories from food (not just protein), is absolutely needed to help post workout recovery. Overtraining can actually be counterproductive to weight loss because it significantly increases cortisol levels. I won't spend too much time talking about why cortisol matters, but even slightly elevated levels of cortisol can negatively impact weight loss. Plus, if you're impacting your sleep levels, this negative effect is exacerbated. Overtraining can actually be bad for your heart. We tend to think that if some cardiovascular exercise is good, more should be better, but that's not always true. Among other things, people that overtrain can cause problems like hypertrophic cardiomyopathy and AFib. While I don't think you're quite to this level yet, it's something to watch out for. Overtraining can actually impact your ability to fight off infection. Getting sick could also set you back quite a bit. If all of the above weren't enough, the likelihood of you stopping training altogether is significantly elevated if you overtrain. I certainly understand you think you're doing the right thing, but hardly anyone that's overtraining realizes it until they suffer the impacts of it. I also think many formerly obese individuals may be more likely to overtrain for a few reasons:
We are typically starting from a poor base fitness level, so it does not take nearly as much to overtrain. Most of us have tendency toward addictive behavior. (Yes, overtraining can be due to transfer addiction.) We are trying to "makeup" for a previous lack of exercise. We think that this will help us lose weight faster. As I mentioned, this behavior can actually slow down fat loss, rather than speed it up. Instead, our goal should be to build a sustainable level of fitness that accomplishes a few things:
To develop a good level of cardiovascular endurance that keeps our bodies and minds healthy To strengthen our muscles to make everyday living easier and more sustainable for the long-term To decrease the risk of illness and injury To burn more calories, both during exercise and at rest To look good naked (okay, for some of us, maybe that's pushing it!) One of the best ways to do all that is to ensure your current level of exercise is sustainable. From that sustainable base, we add in something called "progressive overload" to ensure we are actually benefiting from the exercise. When we overtrain, there's no room for progress, meaning eventually you either burnout, or your body adapts and the benefit becomes lost.
Sorry for the long post here. I know to you I'm just some random person on the internet and you're not likely to pay much attention anyway. Even so, the risk is real, and I encourage you to research this to make sure I'm not just blowing smoke. More than anything, even if you don't think you're overtraining, I'd hate for others to come away from this thread thinking your exercise workload is what they should be doing too. For 99% of us it's not.

Keep in mind that 'weight loss' does not equal fat loss. I would be skeptical that you lost 7 pounds of fat in a week, but some fat, some Fluid, and possibly some muscle? Sure.
We wrongly think there are only 2 types of "stuff" in our bodies, the good stuff that never goes away and the bad stuff (fat), that we want to go away. It's a lot more complicated than that, and scales are just not a great way to really know what's going on inside your body. Unfortunately, scales are the tool most of us have, so we have to make due.
I guess my point is don't overthink what the scale is telling you in either direction. As soon as you hit a stall, you're going to start questioning if you're doing things "right", but you may be having the same issue with a scale not really telling you what you need to know regarding fat loss. If that happens, it's better to just stick to your program and remember that you're using a tool that's pretty lousy at measuring fat loss.

I don't have any experience with this particular product, but it's probably best to talk to your surgical team. Some are a lot more strict about caffeine than others. For those plans that want you to avoid it, at least early on, the rationale given is typically based on a few things:
Caffeine is a diuretic. Since most people struggle to get in sufficient fluids early after surgery, it's probably best not to make the problem worse. Caffeine can lead to diarrhea, also exacerbating problems getting in sufficient Fluid. Most caffeinated drinks are acidic, which can contribute to gastric reflux. Note that caffeine can also contribute to reflux. Especially for sleeve patients, reflux can be a significant issue. although the effect is minor, caffeine can impair the absorption of certain minerals like Iron, Calcium & magnesium. This is more so an issue for bypass patients that are already at a disadvantage for malabsorption. Best of luck.

From start to surgery took almost 3 years for me, but I know I'm an exception.
From the time I completed all the requirements and tests, it was about 4-5 months until my surgery. My chosen center is the largest in my state and they have a serious backlog just submitting things to insurance. That alone took 6-8 weeks. After we got the insurance approval back (which took another 2 weeks), it took a few weeks to get on the surgical schedule. At the time, they were scheduling 2 months out, so I had to wait another 2 months before my surgery.
In short, I understand the anxiety your feeling. It was nerve-wracking having to wait so long for a procedure that has been life-changing. I felt like I was waiting to get my life back and the constant waiting was very stressful. That said, it did allow me time to learn a lot about what to expect in post-op life, as well better prepare myself mentally for the upcoming changes. In retrospect, I think I would not have done nearly as well if I had rushed into surgery.

Not sure about this one? Unlike most of the rest of your skin, your lips have no oil glands, meaning they don't rely on sebum for lubrication.
I do think there could be something to the comments above related to Protein Drinks, especially if you find yourself licking your lips more. (Excess saliva can actually cause chapped lips.) In addition, this could also be due to nutrient deficiencies. If you're not currently taking a Multivitamin, a lack of B Vitamins can lead to dry, chapped lips.

Not sure about this one? Unlike most of the rest of your skin, your lips have no oil glands, meaning they don't rely on sebum for lubrication.
I do think there could be something to the comments above related to Protein Drinks, especially if you find yourself licking your lips more. (Excess saliva can actually cause chapped lips.) In addition, this could also be due to nutrient deficiencies. If you're not currently taking a Multivitamin, a lack of B Vitamins can lead to dry, chapped lips.

This is such a critical issue that my team literally put it at the very front of their bariatric pre-op binder. I'm attaching their guidelines for dealing with Constipation. There are no copyright marks anywhere in their document, so I'm going to assume this falls under fair-use guidelines.
Sorry for all the poop emoji's! I think it was their way of trying to lighten the mood on a serious subject that people feel strange discussing.
One thing you'll see over and over in this is if you're having trouble, call your team. It may feel weird to talk to your nurse about this, but constipation is one of the most common questions they get. They are very used to talking about it.
For what it's worth, my surgery was a few weeks before you and I still take one colace and one peri-colace daily.
BM Guide.pdf

I suspect this is one of the reasons many doctors (like mine), recommend a lower carb diet, at least initially after WLS.
I personally have a love/hate relationship with low carb dieting. I lost a great deal of weight doing low carb ~20 years ago, but ended up gaining it all back and then some, because I found it unsustainable long-term. As a result, I'm intending to take more of a "smart-carb" approach this time.
The reality is, not all carbs are the same. My plan is to limit my intake of simple carbs, especially processed foods as much as possible, while adding in complex carbs via whole foods as tolerated.

Actually I think it is gas pain, just not the kind you may be thinking of. It's not gas in your intestines, it's from the gas (most likely carbon dioxide, a.k.a. CO2), that they pump into your abdominal space during surgery. This puts pressure on everything inside that space, and can irritate things like the peritoneum (the lining over the abdominal organs). That said, I think for most people, the worst pain is the pain they feel in the lower chest, or even up into the shoulder. This is again caused by the surgery gas putting pressure put on the diaphragm, which irritates the phrenic nerve.
Eventually this gas will be reabsorbed back into your tissues, then into your bloodstream, and will eventually be processed out by your lungs. In short, you'll actually breathe it out. For most people this can take up to a week or so, but it should be getting better every day.
In the interim, 2 things seem to help most people:
Walking. This helps move things around, especially the CO2 that may have settled under your diaphragm, but keep in mind that when you walk, you are also turning over more oxygen & CO2, which speeds up the process of removing the CO2 from your blood. Most recommendations are you walk at least 15-20 minutes every 2 hours, but more is better. Hot pads. This can help as well, and it works for many of the same reasons walking does. You are dilating blood vessels which helps your body process the extra CO2 and pull in more oxygen. You may also be feeling some incisional pain, but for most people this is more minor in nature.
I will close by mentioning that if it's NOT getting better every day, contact your team ASAP. There is a possibility something else is going on with you and they will be in the best position to advise you.
Best of luck.

So in this sort of situation, as in many other human interactions, there are 2 things that took me a lifetime to learn. I want to share those with you in the hope it will help you if a similar situation happens again.
The first is to always assume positive intent (until proven otherwise). What I mean by that is that most people don't intend to me mean or hurtful, it's a lot more likely they just suck at giving compliments. (Some also don't understand personal space!) In your specific situation, I suspect they thought they were being complementary to you and really just could not understand that you'd interpret it any differently. This is also likely why they responded awkwardly when you didn't do what they expected and acknowledge their "complement". Note that I'm not saying you were "wrong" for feeling how you did about this. I think comments like this can feel pretty cringy and it's normal to feel what you did. It's just that I've reached a point where I've both been on the receiving and giving end of these sorts of conversations. For my own personal wellbeing, I have found that if I assume they meant well, the overall interaction tends to go a lot better. The second thing it took me a lifetime to learn is that if I assume positive intent, I also need to approach human interactions with a heart of curiosity, rather than resentment. What I mean is that is that I like to strive to understand why they felt the desire to interact with me. Are they looking for weight loss advice? Are they flirting with me? Maybe they just were hoping to make me feel good, which makes them feel better about themselves? Maybe they were interested in starting a new friendship and this was a conversation starter? The point I'm trying to make is that taking a few moments to have an open conversation couldn't hurt and may lead to other positive interactions in the future. Best of luck.

This will depend on the restaurant, but your best bet is probably a Soup of some sort. Even if it's not a pureed soup, most restaurants should be able to puree just about anything for you, including their Soups. Just keep in mind that some restaurant soups can have a lot of fat, so make sure you know what you're getting if you have problem with fat content. Also remember that it probably won't have nearly enough Protein for you so try to remember to supplement your protein intake some other way.

This will depend on the restaurant, but your best bet is probably a Soup of some sort. Even if it's not a pureed soup, most restaurants should be able to puree just about anything for you, including their Soups. Just keep in mind that some restaurant soups can have a lot of fat, so make sure you know what you're getting if you have problem with fat content. Also remember that it probably won't have nearly enough Protein for you so try to remember to supplement your protein intake some other way.

This right here! I am the same, I can lose significant weight doing low carb, but I can't live the rest of my life like that. Or should I say, I don't want to live the rest of my life like that.
I have taken the same approach of "smart-carbs" and limiting simple and highly processed carbs. I want my body to learn that no food is off limits and respond with huge weight gains.
Overall trying about to be smarter about food choices, focusing on Protein first. I'm learning that carbs aren't the enemy. But high carbs + high fat can go wrong fast.

I suspect this is one of the reasons many doctors (like mine), recommend a lower carb diet, at least initially after WLS.
I personally have a love/hate relationship with low carb dieting. I lost a great deal of weight doing low carb ~20 years ago, but ended up gaining it all back and then some, because I found it unsustainable long-term. As a result, I'm intending to take more of a "smart-carb" approach this time.
The reality is, not all carbs are the same. My plan is to limit my intake of simple carbs, especially processed foods as much as possible, while adding in complex carbs via whole foods as tolerated.

Sorry you're struggling so much!
Based on what you're describing, neither weight loss surgery, nor GLP-1 receptor agonists like Ozempic/Wegovy/Rybelsus would do anything for you. Both WLS and these meds work by helping patients reduce caloric intake. You've already said that doing so didn't work for you, so I see little point in either approach.
Here's the deal. While this is a slight over simplification, you can't overcome basic physics even if there's some sort of hormonal imbalance. If you eat less than you burn, you'll lose weight. If you eat more than you burn, you'll gain weight. There's no way around that.
This makes me think you may be asking the wrong question? I think instead of asking how can I reduce my food intake further, the question you should be asking is why is my metabolism so low and what can I do to increase how much I'm burning?
Based on what you've described, there really are only two explanations: Either you are eating a lot more than you think you are (it's common for people to dramatically overestimate caloric intake), or your metabolism is unnaturally low.
My first recommendation would be to have a baseline metabolism check done. This is sometimes called resting metabolic rate (RMR), resting energy expenditure (REE), or Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR). Do some Google searches and you should find a place near you that can test this. Even if you do nothing else, knowing how many calories you burn at rest will help you understand what you should do to get to a normal weight.
Next, I'm going to guess that your previous fitness attempts were focused primarily on steady-state cardio. While that's great for heart health, it's not what I think you need. I would strongly recommend finding a reputable trainer that can help you add muscle mass through proper diet and exercise. Simply put, the more muscle mass you have, the faster your metabolism. In your case, where you've likely severely negatively impacted your metabolism through a starvation diet/anorexia, you may have to "reset" things with this type of training regimine.
One final point: stop obsessing with the number on the scale. This is a poor analog for how fit you are. Your body weight is comprised of lots of things other than fat (muscle, bone, Water, organ weight, etc.), so you could actually be really fit at 180, or carrying too much fat at 160. For example, you made a point of saying that after months of working out in a gym, you ended up weighing more than before you started. That's actually somewhat common and not necessarily a bad thing. That extra 6 pounds may have just be Fluid retention, or muscle (likely some of both), so the number on the scale was not a good way of tracking your overall health. This is one of the reasons we strongly recommend also periodically checking your body measurements, as well as potentially checking body composition. You can buy a BIA scale to check that, or there are plenty of commercial places that will do it for you.
Best of luck.

chest pressure after can be a sign you ate too much .. might want to reduce a bit and see how you feel

as Arabesque said, the morbidity rate on weight loss surgeries is really low....lower than many other common surgeries such as hip replacement surgery. I think some people's perceptions come from the way things were 40 or 50 years ago, but the surgeries they do today aren't the same and are MUCH safer. You'd be more at risk by staying obese.
which country the surgeon practices in makes no difference at all. There are good and not-so-good surgeons in any given country. If you've researched your surgeon and things look good, you should be fine.