SpartanMaker

I had surgery at 58.
Looking of global demographic data, it would appear that the average age for weight loss surgery in most Western countries is between 45 and 50. Asian and Middle-eastern countries tend to have a younger demographic.

I concur with @summerset. I'm not really following what you mean by "more than recommended" or why you find it worrying? If you're eating more than your team said you should, stop doing that. Problem solved.
Keep in mind that early on after surgery your stomach is inflamed and multiple nerves have been cut. In short, it's unlikely that you'd be able to feel all the appropriate signals to tell you when you're full. This is why most team's have recommendations on specific foods and volumes you should be eating at every stage. These are not only for the safety of your healing stomach, but also to keep you from eating so much you make yourself sick. They are NOT hard "limits" of exactly how much your stomach can hold.
Please tell me if I'm wrong, but my suspicion is you were expecting surgical restriction to keep you from overeating and you're testing the limits. Because you are able to eat more than what your team suggested you eat, you are worried that this means you're going to fail later.
This is an important point, so I'm going to bold it:
Success or failure post-surgery probably has more to do with your ability to follow your team's recommendations than it does with you being restricted by a smaller stomach. Once you get past the initial stages, it's can be as easy to overeat as it was before surgery. If you are headed down this path, I highly recommend working with a therapist that specializes in disordered eating because surgery alone may not be enough.

I bought a couple and personally didn't find them useful at all. Early on post-surgery, they were suggesting things that didn't match my plan, so I couldn't make any of the recipes. An example I remember is something called "Ricotta Bake". This is supposed to be a puree stage food, but it was not allowed on my plan until later in soft food stage. By then, I didn't have to restrict myself to just the ingredients in Ricotta Bake, so I never ended up making this. There were lot's of other examples, but this is one I specifically remember.
I'd also say that 75 or 80% of these recipes are readily available on the web for free, so once again, probably no need for a cookbook. I'm 4 months in now and we just make "normal" recipes. I simply eat less of whatever we make.

Yes, crazy good to wear those smaller sizes! I've been losing so fast that I've actually dropped through some clothes I bought after surgery. I still struggle to see it myself sometimes, but going from a tight 44 to a lose 38 waist in pants makes it pretty obvious.
I've had a few major stalls as well, but am officially down over 100 pounds now. I'm obviously really happy about that, but also a bit shocked at how fast it's come off.
@Hope4NewMe don't count on maintaining a 10 pound loss per month. For the math geeks, most of the time weight loss follows a pattern called exponential decay. It looks something like this:

The important takeaway is that the closer you get to goal, the slower the loss.

I think there are a few questions you need to answer first:
Why are you struggling to lose that last 100 pounds? What are you expecting medication to do for you that you can't do on your own? Can you afford it? Most of the newer glp1 agonist weight loss medications (e.g. Ozempic, Saxsenda, Rybelsus and others), are not covered by insurance. If you are self pay, they may cost $1,200 to $1,500 a month or more. Keep in mind (as some have pointed out above), most people that lose weight with these meds gain the weight back when they stop. If price is not a consideration for you, can you even find the medication? Some of these medications are in critically short supply right now.

Don't know how many of us are still left reading these forums but I miss you all! Just hit my 4 month mark and I'm down a little over 50 pounds, yay! Before surgery I was just hoping that I could hit that goal before my cruise and I did! I have another month before I sail so maybe I'll hit 60 pounds down and that will be the best. Weight loss has slowed down but I did expect that. I'm hoping to keep losing at about 10 pounds per month now which is what I did this month and I also lost 7 inches. My hair is definitely thinning so I cut my almost waist long hair to shoulder length and I actually love it. Scary to see the loss at my temples but I know its temporary so I'm trying not to stress too much. I had my blood tested and all of my levels are good but they do want me to take a little more Iron because they want me to be above average. I finally tried on a smaller pair of pants and was surprised to see that I could fit into a 14 and its not even tight. I haven't been this size in over 10 years. My brain still thinks I'm the same size to its nice to be able to put on clothing and see proof of loss. I had to buy ring adjusters because my wedding ring was getting scary loose so now its tight and safe again. I can't believe how much has changed in just 4 months and I'm so happy I had the surgery. I hope you all are well and come back and visit sometime lol

I concur with @summerset. I'm not really following what you mean by "more than recommended" or why you find it worrying? If you're eating more than your team said you should, stop doing that. Problem solved.
Keep in mind that early on after surgery your stomach is inflamed and multiple nerves have been cut. In short, it's unlikely that you'd be able to feel all the appropriate signals to tell you when you're full. This is why most team's have recommendations on specific foods and volumes you should be eating at every stage. These are not only for the safety of your healing stomach, but also to keep you from eating so much you make yourself sick. They are NOT hard "limits" of exactly how much your stomach can hold.
Please tell me if I'm wrong, but my suspicion is you were expecting surgical restriction to keep you from overeating and you're testing the limits. Because you are able to eat more than what your team suggested you eat, you are worried that this means you're going to fail later.
This is an important point, so I'm going to bold it:
Success or failure post-surgery probably has more to do with your ability to follow your team's recommendations than it does with you being restricted by a smaller stomach. Once you get past the initial stages, it's can be as easy to overeat as it was before surgery. If you are headed down this path, I highly recommend working with a therapist that specializes in disordered eating because surgery alone may not be enough.

Sorry you're struggling so much!
Based on what you're describing, neither weight loss surgery, nor GLP-1 receptor agonists like Ozempic/Wegovy/Rybelsus would do anything for you. Both WLS and these meds work by helping patients reduce caloric intake. You've already said that doing so didn't work for you, so I see little point in either approach.
Here's the deal. While this is a slight over simplification, you can't overcome basic physics even if there's some sort of hormonal imbalance. If you eat less than you burn, you'll lose weight. If you eat more than you burn, you'll gain weight. There's no way around that.
This makes me think you may be asking the wrong question? I think instead of asking how can I reduce my food intake further, the question you should be asking is why is my metabolism so low and what can I do to increase how much I'm burning?
Based on what you've described, there really are only two explanations: Either you are eating a lot more than you think you are (it's common for people to dramatically overestimate caloric intake), or your metabolism is unnaturally low.
My first recommendation would be to have a baseline metabolism check done. This is sometimes called resting metabolic rate (RMR), resting energy expenditure (REE), or Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR). Do some Google searches and you should find a place near you that can test this. Even if you do nothing else, knowing how many calories you burn at rest will help you understand what you should do to get to a normal weight.
Next, I'm going to guess that your previous fitness attempts were focused primarily on steady-state cardio. While that's great for heart health, it's not what I think you need. I would strongly recommend finding a reputable trainer that can help you add muscle mass through proper diet and exercise. Simply put, the more muscle mass you have, the faster your metabolism. In your case, where you've likely severely negatively impacted your metabolism through a starvation diet/anorexia, you may have to "reset" things with this type of training regimine.
One final point: stop obsessing with the number on the scale. This is a poor analog for how fit you are. Your body weight is comprised of lots of things other than fat (muscle, bone, Water, organ weight, etc.), so you could actually be really fit at 180, or carrying too much fat at 160. For example, you made a point of saying that after months of working out in a gym, you ended up weighing more than before you started. That's actually somewhat common and not necessarily a bad thing. That extra 6 pounds may have just be Fluid retention, or muscle (likely some of both), so the number on the scale was not a good way of tracking your overall health. This is one of the reasons we strongly recommend also periodically checking your body measurements, as well as potentially checking body composition. You can buy a BIA scale to check that, or there are plenty of commercial places that will do it for you.
Best of luck.

I highly recommend this video (which another very kind member shared a little while ago) which may help with your question.
The thing about weight loss is there is a lot of averages & the stats you mentioned are an example. There are averages for how much weight you’ll lose, how long it will take, how fast or slow you’ll lose, etc. They’re averages because there are so many factors which influence those stats: age, gender, starting weight, weight loss before surgery, weight loss & gain history, health issues, medications, your new set point, how closely you follow your plan, the lifestyle changes you implement (food choices, activity, …) & so on. As with all averages some will exceed them others won’t reach them. What averages give you are an idea of what might happen. Not a rule but a guideline of what might happen.
I’m one of those who exceeded the average. At 12 weeks from surgery I’d lost about 15kg. I’d lost 31kg (including the 5kg pre surgery so about the double amount & got me to my goal) at 6 months. At 12 months I’d lost a total of about 41kgs (not intentionally but it was where my body wanted to be - my new set point). I bounced around there for another couple of months before settling about another kilo lighter (total 42.5kg lost). This was my experience.

it's not that unusual to see similar results. You are likely just retaining Fluid post-surgery (very common), which could mask any fat loss.
Give yourself time and try not to stress. The weight loss will come.

I got a bunch of the 1oz cups from the hospital, but stopped using them after the first few days. What I did use a little longer was Dixie cups like you use in the bathroom. These are cheap for a huge amount and supposedly hold 3 oz filled to the top. I just learned where the 2oz line was and filled things to there.

Rather than determine what you can eat to "satisfy" that craving, maybe it would be better to try and first understand why you're craving sweets at all?
Some thoughts on possible things that may be driving this feeling:
Forbidden foods: If you think of sweets as "forbidden", this can actually intensify your cravings for them. You might need to rethink your relationship with certain foods if this is true.
Stress or a desire to self-soothe: Stress as well as physical and/or emotional pain can definitely drive you to crave things you see as comforting. For many, sweets may do this because eating them can trigger endorphins and dopamine in your brain in the same way powerful illicit drugs can.
Contextual associations: We sometimes associate certain food with certain things. Examples would be people that feel they have to eat dessert or the meal isn't "done". Another example would be people that eat popcorn at the movies.
Boredom: Typically boredom doesn't drive specific cravings, but can absolutely drive you to eat when you're not really hungry.
Nutrient deficiencies/poor hydration: While there's a lot of anecdotal references for the idea that your body will crave certain things if you have a specific nutrient deficiency, there's not much scientific evidence for this belief. (In fact there's a lot of evidence that it's not correct. If that was actually driving cravings, we'd all be craving kale and broccoli instead of sugary, salty, fatty foods) That said, there are studies that show both poor hydration or insufficient Protein or Fiber will increase hunger. In this case however, your cravings would most likely be less specific and more "I'm hungry", vs. "I want sweets".
i think once you understand the WHY, you'll be better armed on what you can do to address the craving. In some cases, distractions like @Arabesque mentioned may actually work better than finding a sweet thing that "satisfies" your craving. In other cases, you might be better off eating off plan if the "forbidden" food is the culprit. Only you can really know what's driving this and how best to deal with it.

it's not that unusual to see similar results. You are likely just retaining Fluid post-surgery (very common), which could mask any fat loss.
Give yourself time and try not to stress. The weight loss will come.

it's not that unusual to see similar results. You are likely just retaining Fluid post-surgery (very common), which could mask any fat loss.
Give yourself time and try not to stress. The weight loss will come.

It sounds to me like you've already identified some things you know you could change.
I'm a big believer in making lots of small, but sustainable changes, rather than huge diet "resets". By that I mean, maybe for the next couple of weeks, you simply make sure you stop at only one glass of wine at night. Then maybe it's cutting the wine down to every other day, or maybe limiting yourself to 1 or 2 bags of chips a week. Try and make just one small change every 2-3 weeks until each small change becomes the new normal for you. Only then, add in another change. I think most people try to drastically change everything all at once and that rarely works.
Again, I think you know what you need to do to get back on track, the trick is taking it step-by-step and turning the "bad" habits into good ones.

I'm not sure being an "adult" has the monopoly on making good choices or being able to "stick to plan" or even understanding consequences. The thousands of posts on this forum alone is a testament to that.
Its a very individual thing, though i do agree that for children/teens to have surgery available to them, there needs to be the buy in of the parents or guardians, unless of course the child/teen has the resources to buy their own groceries, cook their own food, transport themselves to appts etc (which more often than not, the probably don't).
i always lean on not having a hard line to things, and mostly take things on a case by case basis. Of course there will be instances where in hindsight one would rethink their decisions, but that's life i guess.
Now, would i have wanted surgery available to me as teen? It's a non-issue (for ME), as i didn't join the obesity club until my 30's. Would my mother wanted it for me? No. Would she have wanted it for my sister (who was overweight all her life and obese by her 20's?). Knowing my mother, who is/was always about looks and weight, probably. But would my sister have wanted it? Would she have been able to say no to my mother if she didn't?
Tough call.

Here's my two cents:
Obesity is a medical condition and bariatric surgery has proven to be the most successful long-term treatment option. I'm surprised that even among those of us that have had WLS, we sometimes still act like it was needed due to a lack of willpower or some sort of moral failure. We really have to get over that and acknowledge obesity as a disease state that sometimes requires surgical treatment.
To me, it follows that many children also suffer from obesity and that it would be morally wrong to withhold effective treatments options. I wouldn't withhold cancer treatments from a child, so why would it be okay to withhold WLS from children if we know that it can effectively treat their disease state?
Regarding all the comments about can a child understand the need or what's required long-term, that really feels like a red herring. Just like we all had to show that we were ready for surgery by jumping through various hoops like psych evals, nutrition visits, & documentation of past diet failures, I would expect the same to be true for children. Those children or parents that aren't ready would be disqualified, just like some people can't or won't complete all the requirements as adults.

The U.S HHS Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion created a generic recommendation for all Americans:
For substantial health benefits, adults should do at least 150 minutes (2 hours and 30 minutes) to 300 minutes (5 hours) a week of moderate-intensity, or 75 minutes (1 hour and 15 minutes) to 150 minutes (2 hours and 30 minutes) a week of vigorous-intensity aerobic physical activity, or an equivalent combination of moderate- and vigorous-intensity aerobic activity. Preferably, aerobic activity should be spread throughout the week. Additional health benefits are gained by engaging in physical activity beyond the equivalent of 300 minutes (5 hours) of moderate-intensity physical activity a week. Adults should also do muscle-strengthening activities of moderate or greater intensity and that involve all major muscle groups on 2 or more days a week, as these activities provide additional health benefits. To provide more structured advice, I'd need to understand a few things. First, what do you hope to accomplish from an exercise program? Some common goals might include:
Improve overall health (e.g. lessen risk of heart disease, diabetes, etc.) Get stronger / Make day to day living easier Help control weight regain (notice I didn't say lose weight as you can't out exercise a bad diet) Improve mental health / reduce anxiety & depression sleep better / Have more energy Improve body composition (more muscle mass = more calories burned even at rest) Look good naked Next, are their specific activities you like or don't like? Some people hate gyms, others love them. Some people like to "play" to get exercise (think sports/outdoor recreation), while others love the solitude of walking/running by themselves. Basically what I'm asking is for you to do some self-reflection and think hard about what you think might work best for you.
Finally, can you be more specific about what resources you have available? You mentioned a gym (which is not entirely needed), but beyond that? Do you have or can you get:
A heart rate monitor (e.g. fitness watch or strap) A place to walk outside or access to a treadmill Other exercise/recreation equipment such as a bike or stationary bike, kayak or canoe, Nintendo Ring Fit Wii Fit, etc. A set of exercise bands and/or dumbbells, Sufficient space to workout at home if you don't go to a gym I'd also really like you to fill out your profile here on Bariatricpal. Details matter. In addition to that, it would be helpful to know some things like:
Your age How you'd rate your current fitness level If you have any specific physical or health issues that might impact what exercises/activities you're able to do In short, the more details you can provide, the more tailored I can make a recommendation.
Best of luck.

Reposting something I posted elsewhere:
First, the most common reason for any stall, including the dreaded 3-week stall is simply that you are retaining more Water. There are a few reasons this happens, but around the 3-week mark it comes down to the fact that your body is adjusting to a low carb intake after converting from glycogen to ketones for energy. More Water is needed to burn glycogen, so you were retaining more water pre-surgery than you are now that you're using primarily ketones for energy. At about the 3-week mark, your body eventually recognizes that the water loss is long term, so other mechanisms have started kicking in to start holding on to more water. This water loss due to the change between glycogen and ketones is the primary reason for "keto flu", and something that increases your risk of dehydration early after surgery.
The other "reasons" for plateaus really don't apply as much at the 3 week mark, but will become more important later in the process. Let's cover those too though so you're prepared:
As you lose more weight, your overall metabolic rate will slow down. People sometimes think fat is not metabolically active, but that's not true. Less fat means your metabolism slows down, even if you retain the same amount of muscle. As you lose weight, it takes less effort to move, so the amount of calories you burn from activity also drops quite a bit. As you progress, you'll be able to eat more and especially if you're not tracking intake closely by weighing and measuring your food, you can easily be eating a lot more than you think. This one may be TMI for some, but you may simply be retaining more stool. This is going to be hard for some people to hear, but I can tell you one thing it's not, and that's hormones. Yes, various hormonal processes negatively impact weight loss in a myriad of ways, but they don't overcome basic physics: if you eat less than you are burning, you'll lose weight. What these hormones can do if they're out of whack, is not good things like slowing your metabolism, increasing your hunger, screwing with water weight, or even fooling you into thinking you're eating less than you are.
So, with all that sciency stuff out of the way, what do we actually do if we're in a stall? Well, I think it depends on when it happens and how long it lasts:
If it's early (a.k.a. the 3-week stall), just keep doing what you're doing and you should be fine. I know people don't like that advice, but as I said, it's just water, so don't worry about it. Later on, especially if the stall is lasting longer than 2-3 weeks. that's when I think it's important that you look closely at what you are actually burning, as well as really tracking what you are eating. If you don't know your BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate), you should. The closer you are to goal, the harder it is to get the balance right between intake and output to make sure you're not eating too much, so fixing this starts with knowing your BMR and accurate food logging. There's a lot of anecdotal advice thrown around about "ways to break a stall", but there seems to be little scientific evidence for any of it. Most of it certainly won't hurt to try, e.g. breaking up your routine in terms of diet or exercise, but just understand that this change may or may not have had any impact. If it makes you feel better to be proactive, go for it. Longer term, there is one piece of solid advice that's backed up by lots of research: Even if you don't really like working out, do it anyway. Those WLS patients that make a regular habit of exercising for 45 minutes to an hour most days a week are significantly more likely to reach their goal and maintain the weight loss. (One caveat here: significantly changing your exercise routine can make you retain water and possibly even add muscle, so don't freak out if you see a stall or even a gain.) I'll take that exercise advice one step further and say you really should be doing some form of strength training. This is also backed up by lots of studies, but the great thing about strength training is that it makes your burn more calories even at rest (in other words, it increases your metabolic rate). There are lots of other benefits, but the metabolic benefit is the most germaine to the stall question. Those that do strength training are less likely to stall during weight loss.

Stop putting yourself under pressure. You won't magically stop losing weight after a certain time span.
You stop losing weight when you're in a caloric equilibrium and you start losing again when you're in a caloric deficit (even years out).

Only lost 62lb in six months? Nothing only about that, I would say it was pretty significant.
Hair loss is common after any surgery, and for the majority of the people, the issue resolves itself in time. Sweets well tis the season and all that, what matters there is ensuring that you get back on track.
You've lost 62lb how can that be a waste of time and money. Surely your health has improved? Surely you are walking lighter and breathing easier?
While the end goal maybe a much healthier weight, sometimes its useful to focus on non scale goals. Improved health and fitness...lower blood pressure and cholesterol, able to walk faster or jog, fitting into smaller clothing sizes, able to play with children/grandchildren easily etc etc
Well done, keep up the great work!

There are a few possible angles to this.
It's very possible you ARE being overly sensitive, as you're in a big state of flux emotionally and physically. You may have lost one of your coping mechanisms with food no longer being as available; Your SO has probably seen you fail time and again on diets and they may be afraid you are going down that path again. We didn't generally start eating off plan on previous diets all at once, it usually starts with a bite here or there first, then get's out of control; Doing this in front of your nephews probably added a level of embarrassment that wasn't necessary, making you both a bit more prickly for each being corrected in such a public way. Your SO and/or you may also have some fears about how you losing weight may change your relationship. WLS tends to highlight both the strengths and weaknesses in relationships. You are changing the status quo. In the comfort and privacy of your home have a calm discussion about everything. About how your SO has been supportive and how you appreciate the support. About your plan and what the details, depending on how involved you want your SO to be. About the level of policing you would like or not like, even how policing (if appropriate) should be done, specifically privately and any other features. Talk about fears and make reassurances as you are both on the same team. Reinforce your positive feelings about each other.
This discussion may happen more than once, or in different ways. It's OK.
Good luck,
Tek

To put it simply, Ideal Bodyweight is a crock. These are all based on one of 3 things: BMI, population studies like the NHANES survey, or body fat %. None of these can tell you what YOUR ideal bodyweight should be, only what an average range of weights might be. Why? Let's look at these individually:
BMI: Frankly the fact that this psuedo-science is so widely used is downright scary. This is all based on a formula created almost 200 years ago by a mathematician (not a physician), trying to determine what an "average" man would look like. It does not take into consideration muscle mass, frame size, or any thing other than height and weight. As an example of just how messed up this is, consider that some professional bodybuilders fit into the morbidly obese category even though they may only have 5-8% body fat. Population Studies: Studies that look at large populations have the same flaws in that they only look at averages. They are good for understanding population groups, but are not instructive to know what YOU should weigh. Body fat: In general, these formulas are going to be better than the above (as an example, see Gallagher et al., "Healthy percentage body fat ranges: an approach for developing guidelines based on body mass index." American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, 72 (3): 694.), because they are at least based on your stats (% Body Fat), but they have 2 fatal flaws: First, they rely on BIA (Bioelectrical impedance analysis), but BIA is not that accurate overall. Second, Lean mass is also is lost as someone loses weight, but if the estimate is based on body fat alone, it will be wrong. My point is the best way to know what your ideal weight should be is based on how you feel and look once you get there. If you need a goal to shoot for, aim high when looking at ideal weight charts. If you're not happy once you get to that weight, you can always adjust downward.

It took one year and two weeks post surgery (plus 7 months pre-surgery), but today, nekked, on my own scale, I hit ONEderland, 199.6 lbs. Yipee! I know it's transitory and I'll bounce back and forth for a while, but this is the first time my scale has shown under 200 lbs for about 25 years. I've gone from a size 30-32 to an 18-20.
My hair is growing back. My brother is moving back home after 30+ years as an expat. I've booked a southern Caribbean cruise for April and he's going with me. All is good!
Just when I finally got all skinny leg pants, I discovered that the "in" style is again baggies. Well, there are some things you just can't win.

Can you explain what you mean by false equivalency? A lot of the things @Nepenthe44 mentioned seem to be listed as warning signs for ED:
https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/warning-signs-and-symptoms
https://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/8-signs-you-may-have-an-eating-disorder/
https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/common-eating-disorders#signs
It's plain to see that some of the things bariatric programs (and this forum), encourage are also listed on those pages. Certainly those things alone don't equal an ED diagnosis, but I do think some of them may cross the line into disordered eating, especially if they lead to or cause issues in other parts of our lives. For example:
Do you worry about "messing up" on your bariatric program to the extent that it's causing severe anxiety issues? Alternately, if you do eat off plan, do you express self-disgust and make plans for how to "make-up" for what you ate through extreme exercise or fasting? Are you constantly worried about "going over" your calories and/or macros and do you spend hours every day (to the exclusion of work or family), tracking these things? Do you actively avoid eating or drinking in public because you don't or can't eat like a "normal" person? Do you compulsively weigh and measure yourself and freak out when something is off a bit? To me, these are just a few possible examples of how "what's expected of a good bariatric patient" may just cross the line into an eating disorder. Regardless of the reason or intent, when our relationship with food or our bodies becomes an obsession, we have an issue.