ElusiveQuality

How many calories are you getting in per day? Almost sounds like your body is going into starvation mode.

My doc says that if you can't get 1000 - 1200 calories per day of good food, you're too tight.

Depends upon what you're going to play. If you're a screaming lead in a big band, then probably no. However, anything short of that is going to be trial and error. I'm 2 months out and playing doesn't bother me at all. I waited six weeks after the surgery because that's when my son started up again for school so I really didn't test it and didn't blow anything high and sustained.

Take it easy. It sounds like your prof understands so don't risk it.

Cal

Your stomach is most likely irritated after the first large fill. It too me about 8 to 10 days before everything came back to normal. Fish is pure Protein and any solid Protein source after a fill tends to clump up and give me some pain when it goes through the opening.

You will likely not be feeling full after one fill. Unless you're in a lot of pain, ride it out for a few more days and see where you are.

Have any of you 'divorced' your families? I know that sounds so mean, but my fathers' side of the family is absolutely awful to me, and I am getting ready to go have dinner with them (haven't seen them in months). They are just AWFUL to me, and blame my weight on my mother who is obese as well and act embarrassed of me.

I don't know about divorcing my family, but I have cut bad influences out of my life so I could live better. From what you say these people feel better about themselves but cutting down others. You don't need that in your life, especially now.

You're getting the band and will lose weight. From what you've said, you're probably right in that they will find new things to criticize you with (the band, why didn't you lose sooner, etc). Whether you tell them or not is your call, but if you go around living a lie it's another burden for you to bear.

Don't be caught in the trap of thinking "they're family and I have to...". Screw that attitude because you're husband's family is not treating you like family. Just because they share some DNA with your husband doesn't mean that either of you have any obligation to them.

You'll have enough lifestyle changes coming up to occupy your thoughts and efforts. You won't need more things on your mind. Dump the negative people.

Good Luck.

If someone could just explain how food gets stuck I'd feel a lot better...

Food gets stuck at the narrow opening the band creates becauses the food particles are too big to pass or the particles clump together to make a mass that's too big to pass. The type of food differs from person to person but typically it's dry meat, tough stringy food or white bread. You'll know immediately when it happens and it's painful enough that it will cause you to take steps to not let it happen again.

Cal

I agree with the "rude one"

Hmmm, maybe I should change my moniker. How about Mr. Blunt?

My final two thoughts on the subject.

You are putting your newly formed pouch at risk. The band hasn't seated yet and could shift if you eat too much, too quickly or succumb to something that's not mushy. The reason all of us are getting the labband or have the lapband is that we suck at willpower and self control when it comes to dieting. If this were Thanksgiving of '09 I wouldn't mention a thing but I believe you are risking your band.

Everyone here is just a yahoo with an Internet connection. Why don't you ask your surgeon if he thinks it's a good idea. I think everyone here can agree to that?

Cal

Was there something that you ate prior to getting to the sweet spot that gave you some restriction? For me, it's pork or baby carrots. I'm sure it's not going to be like it was for the near futre but I'm thinking your goal should be do the least damage possible. Trying to diet "cold turkey" will probably lead to binging so a few treats here and there probably won't be that bad. If you've been off a normal in take a of food for waiting for the unfil, your body could use a little extra nutrition, no?

Hang in there,

Cal

Your husband needs to stick up for you. In fact he should be the one who tells them off.

Amen, sort of...

How about help explain the situation and not "tell them off". I really think there's a lot of projection going on here and that some honest sharing will go a long way.

Give the inlaws the chance to come through and be supporters.

Cal

Jaime,

Sorry if it bugged you, but a big difficulty of addictive behaviour is being honest with ourselves. Whether it's food or alcohol and food (in my case) addicts tend to torture themselves and put themselves in unpleasant situations for other peoples pleasures.

Everything I said to you applies to me. I've had the surgery, I've had to let family know, I've had to explain why I do and don't do things. You're right, I don't know your in-laws. All I know is you're scared to death of them. I think that's the problem, because you're willing to knock yourself out cooking dinner and then try to hide your surgery by eating a Thanksgiving dinner in front of them.

Just curious, why do you want to wait until the results show before telling them? Are you afraid the lapband surgery won't be successful?

There's tons of folks here who'll hold your hand and tell you to submit to other people's demands, be timid, be afraid to confront a problem. I'm from the other school. Stand up, be honest and I think a lot of those projected future worries you have will go away.

Cal

Going to someone else's house for Thanksgiving and eating very little would have been tough, but I'd have managed. Now, not only will I have to eat the food, but I have to prepare it!!!!! :embaressed_smile: Refusing to host Thanksgiving is pretty much out of the question. There's no excuse I could come up with short of death that would keep me out of the kitchen on that day.

So my question is - how do I handle this?

Why are you accepting this situation? First off, regardless of whether or not you just had surgery I don't understand how someone else forces you to host a party for them. Second, you will have just had surgery and it's unrealistic for you to be working all day in the kitchen regardless if this was WL surgery or otherwise. Third, your relationship with food is going to change drastically and you will not be taking a regular seat at the familial gorging events.

I think you stated it best here:

or some crap like that

I think it sort of goes without saying that most of the people in attendance on Thanksgiving Day will not know about my surgery, so I need to make sure I don't draw any attention to myself.

They don't know you're fat? You think they won't notice when you drop 70 pounds over the next five months and eat a third of what you do now? It just happened by magic diet dust? Start being honest with yourself and those around you. If they can't handle the truth, it's their problem. If they think there's something odd or strange about what you're doing, screw 'em. You need to be honest with you.

If you insist on hosting a Thanksgiving dinner, for goodness sakes have it catered in. You should be able to handle the potatoes and maybe some dark meat loaded with gravy.

Good Luck,

Cal

I think in this room it is good to point out NOT to vote for the naked chic, but the hot red head underneath her!

I'm confused about a couple of things here. What's wrong with voting for the naked chick and why aren't you naked also?

Good Luck.

Sounds to me like you're in a good spot. I don't think there's a reason to change as long as your still losing and able to eat enough of the right foods to give your body the nutrients it needs.

If something changes like you stop losing weight or start losing your hair, feeling weak, bleeding gums then I think it's time to see your doctor and have the fill adjusted.

Cal

When does the hunger go away or does it go away? Does the sweet spot mean you get the right restriction so you can't eat much but you still have the all consuming hunger?

Hunger should not go away but it should come less frequently and be more easily sated.

After my first fill, I noticed just a bit of restriction while my pouch adjusted to the fill. After a couple days, I couldn't feel much of anything w.r.t. restriction but I noticed it took less to feel sated. Had my second fill this week and am still adjusting to the new amount. I have some restriction but I expect that to go away once the pouch adjusts to the fill.

Cal

The pain in your neck isn't from gas, it's referred pain from the trauma to your stomache. It will go away gradually and figure it to be gone once you're ready to transition to solids.

Tylenol is probably the best solution.

Why are you afraid to speak with your mother? Something is missing here.

Now, tonight I am experiencing some soreness in my chest right at the sternum, and little tiny painful burps. Is this probably just an irritated pouch? Has anyone ever had this happen before? I am so worried...

Yup, that's what it sounds like. Go back to liquids or mushies for a couple days and it should go away.

ISO-Pure peach-mango flavored drink. Tastes just like orange gatorade to me. 40g Protein, 90 calories.

He is flirting with the idea of the band, but he is a man's man type of guy, big meals, out with the guys, etc so is waffling. He can't cut down on what he is eating.

The band will help with portions. He just needs to define for himself what a man's man is. Someone that's 4 spins on the scale and can't walk really doesn't fit my definition, but everyone is different.

How do I get him to see that you guys were able to do it and be successful? Because while he is now applauding my success thus far, he can't imagine eating the small portions I do now and eating healthy.

Have him read the forums. It is hard to imagine that such small portions will make you feel full, but it does happen.

Honestly, the only way it's going to happen is if he wants to change. He's got to want to change and have faith in the program. He needs to want this for himself.

Will I be missing something if I don't go? I'm going to talk to my surgeon at my appt on the 3rd about getting a bander in there to talk.

Support groups exist so you can share your concerns with people who have experienced the same thing as you. You learn about what's going on and thus have fewer fears and are more able to work the program (the band is just a tool).

I've also seen that RNY and LB patients don't mix well. The topics at these meetings don't stay on "weight loss" but tend to shift towards the eccentricities of either procedure. RNY folks seem to view banders as less committed than them and I guess you really need to be gung ho about things to have your stomach split in half and a few feet of your small intestine removed.

LBT is my support group. I'm here daily poking around and if I have a question or concern I've found it has been asked and addressed at least 10 times already by those that came before me. Does it lack the immediacy of face to face conact, yes. However, LBT does have hundreds of active members and special interest areas that can direct you to the help you're looking for.

Men aren't good about sharing important stuff like we are

You have us there. We have no need to talk about our periods, breast sizes, husbands, IUDs, shoe sizes, implants, mons, orgasms, (or whatever topic currently is on the first page of the powder room). :biggrin:

We are delightfully simple creatures and enjoy being such. However, it is entertaining to read about your collective consternation.

If I somehow feel compelled to discuss something with Plain, we'll go over to the espn boards and handle our burning issues in the proper context.

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Take a swim.

The only pre-op diet instructions I had was Clear Liquids the day before the surger and nothing the day of. Pretty quick transitions back to solids too. Allowed to have soft meats the third week after surgery.

There's a whole bunch of us out there. Just stay plugged into the support system and use the training you get. PM if you ever need to talk.

Got banded exactly one week prior to the one year anniversary of my sobriety date. Spent six weeks last summer in rehab to get sober and have been handling it OK so far. As it says in the book, drinking is but a symptom of our problems.

For me it was finally screwing up the courage to ask for help before I lost my job, family and health.

Find a good support system and stay with it.

Good Luck.